Brellom
patreon
TWAB: Stand back! I'm June-ing out!
🕑 Added 2025-06-07 06:01:15 +0000 UTC
Six months in. It's about that time where we stop to reflect on my career.
Overall, there's been some cool stuff happening this year. I've been experimenting with my technique a bit (although most folks don't care), and Female Link Friday has been consistent for the entire year thus far. I've also shared a few artworks with Free Members on Patreon, so that's fun. That said...
I'm feeling pretty tired as of late. My previous philosophy of just "creating what I want at a comfortable pace" isn't really working out.
It has become clear that I'm not good enough to make this career work. As many of you know, my finances have steadily dropped over the last two years, and as things are now, I'll run out of money eventually and can't afford to keep creating.
I create a lot of artwork that people simply do not care about. I don't make it a point to exploit or pander to consumers. I'm not allowed to advertise my Patreon on social media. Also, most people will outright refuse to support an artist if the art is actually free. So, I, understandably, don't acquire new patrons very often - resulting in a slow diminishing of my income. I am just barely earning enough to cover my monthly bills, so eventually, taxes will eat the rest of my money. I am fighting a losing battle.
The only reason I'm still afloat right now is because of that $50 Reward Tier - which I've grown too tired to meaningfully provide for as of late. So it really is not working out; I am effectively failing at my career. It's been long enough since the pandemic has "ended," many of my peers are still thriving, and my social media numbers have been abysmal for an artist of my size... There is no excuse; I am the only one to blame for not being good enough - and the numbers support this. This isn't imposter syndrome - it's objective mathematics.
So, I need to make some kind of change soon - or face the reality that I need to give up. I'm going to spend some time thinking about this then.
Don't forget to eat & sleep.
Comments
mike stone
I think you might have associated choice of subject material with pandering, in a way that isn't complete. It's definitely possible to pander by choosing and rejecting subjects based on the latest trends or 'ten things you absolutely have to include in genre X' lists. But you can also pander by doing whatever appeals to the loudest fringe of any kink. The spectrum runs between exploring the subject and ticking off boxes of a 'things that get positive feedback' checklist. As a first point, most real work happens in the middle of the spectrum, not at the ends. Exectations are the things people find accessible without having to decode what you're doing. A lot of Picasso's cubism was based on the way humans encode visual information -- people draw footballs with circles until they learn to see the actual curves of an eye -- but people look at his paintings and say, "I don't get it". The expected/unexpected ratio is just as much a part of the artistic process as light/dark and color balance. You create emphasis by using one as negative space for the other. As a second point, everything is a combination of several games. You don't see people going on about "you can't be original if you're using colors people have seen before." You can be completely unoriginal in terms of linework and palette and still have a unique style. You can pander shamelessly with choice of subject and still do something interesting with context and treatment. Focusing on anything away from mainstream interests naturally reduces the size of the market segment that likes the subject. That's basic long-tail theory. The other part of long-tail theory is that the narrowest slice that appeals to the largest number of people is tiny compared to the space outside it. Yeah, stuff that's focus-grouped to appeal to millions is formulaic crap. But an individual can make a living with an audience of 1000 willing to pay $5/month, or 5000 willing to pay $1/month. A quick check says Patreon sees about 100 million users per month, so an audience of 10,000 would be 0.001% of that. Give yourself permission to defer questions about pandering until your subscriptions hit 0.001% of Patreon's monthly total. That doesn't mean giving up the subjects that appeal to you. It means expanding the range of subjects you're willing to treat until you find the balance of income and time to work on your own interests that works for you. A separate, low-effort account of more mainstream work that you're allowed to advertise would probably be a big help.
Shawn Heatherly
Please take care of yourself.
![blue[k]nights from fantia](https://patrefans.com/kistorage/49226.jpg)
