La Ron S. Readus
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Unbreakable: Interviewing Mr. Glass (VIDEO SCRIPT)
🕑 Added 2019-01-14 18:15:02 +0000 UTC
Readers, to prepare for M Night Shyamalan’s upcoming movie Glass, I re-watched my favorite movie of his a while back, Unbreakable and realized that... Mr. Glass is a piece of shit
And no, this isn’t me saying that Mr. Glass is a shitty villain; personally, outside of the way Unbreakable ended, we never really got a chance to see Elijah as a full-blown villain and I’m pretty stoked to see how that happens in Glass
But after taking into consideration everything he went through just to find David Dunn, and then everything he DID just to convince David Dunn that he had special abilities, and then seeing what he’s planning to do in Glass to get David Dunn exposed to the public from the trailers
He goes to a LOT of extremes that can easily be compared to what some assholes do in real life that just aren’t okay to do.
Yes, of course, I mean “like mass murder,” but OTHER things that are in the same “Dick Move” category.
So because, you know me...always trying to find out WHY...
I figured for this Readus Relives, I share with you my attempt at trying to understand the mindset and mentality of Elijah Price aka Mr. Glass from Unbreakable. Roll the clip.
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Me: Thank you for sitting down with me Elijah. Or do you prefer Mr. Glass?
Elijah: (Silent Comic Book Store Scene)
Me: (Lips tucked) Mr. Glass it is then...
Elijah: You made a wise decision
Me: (Sighs, still looking at notes) They don’t pay me enough for this shit. SO. Let’s cut to the nitty-gritty. Why are you like this?
Elijah: Once again please
Me: I’m sorry, let me phrase the question better. (clears throat) WHY...THE FUCK...ARE YOU LIKE THIS?? First you kill hundreds of people just to find find David Dunn, and now you’re LITERALLY about to unleash The Beast on a whole-ass city just so you can force David to reveal himself
Elijah: Is there a problem?
Me: I mean, outside of putting hundreds of thousands of individuals in danger just to prove a point? Yes, actually...there is a problem
You see, those of us in the queer community don’t really take kindly to individuals outing us AS queer when we’re not ready to do it ourselves; it can be very dangerous for a lot of us. Albeit it’s on a grander scale, this is pretty much what you’re doing to David with his abilities.
Elijah: That’s not what I witnessed
Me: But just because it’s not what you witnessed doesn’t mean it’s not what you’re doing; this is pretty much a form of harassment. I think. I don’t know how this works when it comes to people with abilities
Elijah: Well, that’s not certain at all is it? Hole number 1
Me: You need certainty to justify harassment, bullying and fucking MURDER? Just because I don’t know for sure it’s the case, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong! What in the world makes you think any of this is okay?
Elijah: I don’t think anything right now. It’s a possibility
Me: What do you mean it’s a possibility? You’ve done it! You’re DOING IT!
Elijah: It’s an exaggeration of the truth
Me: Well then, what IS the truth Mr. Glass? Because as far as I know you’ve done everything in and outside the law just to make this man live a part of his life he wasn’t READY to live at the time, outside of stabbing somebody with a knife
Elijah: But not a knife
Me: No, you’re right. Not a knife. Just a mentally ill man suffering with DID and ONE of his personalities being a ravenous fucking cannibal
Elijah: So many sacrifices...
Me: (Silent and staring in shock. Transitions to disappointed look) Ah. So I WAS right about you. (Cleans up) Thank you for your time, Mr. Glass. And thank you for confirming what I always thought about you in that you are a piece of shit.
Elijah: You have good instincts for things like that?
Me: ...I’m sorry, did you just ask ME a question?
Elijah: You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
Me: Good. Because I’m not, bitch! I was raised by black parents, too; that shit’s not gonna work with me. I was here to interview YOU, not the other way around
Elijah: I think this is where we shake hands.
Me: If I shake your hand, I’m going to break your entire fucking arm. Now GO
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Y’know, considering all my other interviews I’ve had with fictional characters, this one was the most...NOT TERRIBLE
Anyway Readers, your homework assignment for the day; write in the comment section below why YOU think Mr. Glass is like this?
Or better yet; write in the comment section below if you know anyone in real life that’s kinda like Mr. Glass. That’ll be a fun one.
Either way, I’d love to know your thoughts.
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But until then, this is Readus 101. Class dismissed.
