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Will of The Force - Chapter 13 - Tattletale

🕑 Added 2023-07-08 04:07:16 +0000 UTC

Comments

JVR

Well, at least he got a better cape name.

Mac-something

Glad my name suggestion was helpful! It’s always a bit of a guessing game as to what feedback is helpful and what’s just a distraction. Also a LARGE achievement to change his name again? …Well I shudder to think what that’s going to take, I know Lung wasn’t a ‘life or death’ challenge to Anakin but he was a still a bloody nasty opponent. I hear you about grimdark, for me it was Warhammer 40K. A story permanently set to ‘INTENSITY 11 OUT OF 10’ is hard to sustain long term. I know in my personal case as an audience member it eventually became, well …exhausting. Your point about the Worm fan fiction readership makes me laugh. Good to know I’m normal! XD (Funnily enough fan fiction was also where I really got into Star Wars.) Thanks for the context about PHO chapters in Worm and Worm fan writing, that explains a lot; given Worm’s generally heavy tone I can understand how they would provide a welcome break from the grimdark. Also: Curiosity piqued by your story I done some reading of the Worm stories, so I now know about the sinking of Kyushu. As a name Susanoo makes a lot more sense to me now, it has an implication of homesickness and dislocation that indirectly communicates how much the advent of the Capes has turned the world on its head. The fact all of that is, presumably, flying over Anakin’s head also helps underscore just how much he’s still emotionally disconnected from the world he’s now living in. Good luck to Dinah- the keys to his conscience are in her hands. Keep up the good work!

Bishop7053

Dinah showing footage of that would really fuck coil over and make anakin look good pr wise. With the way Lisa's power is obsessed with him I can see Shard fuckery to make her want to work for him

Damon Fitzgerald

Combining it with Lisa's POV was a great idea. Lisa on her own I don't think would have worked quite so well. It would be too much just following her train of thoughts I think. This broke that up a little bit. I know it wont happen but I kind of want Dinah as her first assault on Coil to release some video footage of her POV from the villain meeting to getting picked up by Anakin. As her first move it will put a lot of pressure on Coil and put Anakin in a better light. I also kind of just want her to show off her cool new robotic arm on PHO but have some context for it.

CapitaoCav

Don't worry about it, I'm almost certain half the people who read Worm Fanfic didn't read Worm. In fact, I started reading the Fanfictions first... and I have to confess I never actually finished WORM itself. It's just not for everyone. Actually, a few years ago, it would be exactly the kind of story I loved, but didn't know Worm existed back then and my recent taste has changed, I really don't enjoy grimdark things anymore. . I used the PHO because I wanted to try it and it's kinda expected in a WORM fanfic, but you're absolutely right, I could have done everything with an ABB POV or just from Lisa's POV. In Fanon, PHO is often badly used, the chapters are almost always unimportant reaction chapters that don't ADD anything to the story and could have been cut out. Only used to show the usual tropes, with Void_Cowboy being an idiot, mods giving out bans left and right and other stupid things that, I admit, can be amusing, but wouldn't fit with this fic. In actual Worm, the PHO chapter was used very well, it had an actual objective and really helped progress the story while also showing a reaction from multiple points of view. Here, I tried to make it have meaning, showing first a reaction to Anakin, then to the Travelers and finally, how Lisa is helping keep Coil out of the light. I think I did well, but it could have been better without the PHO, so I don't think I'll use it again. The name is another thing. Polaris was always meant to be an annoying name the PRT who don't understand his power gave him, it was actually meant to be only two chapters before I changed, but I couldn't find anything better. Susanoo was just too fitting, he's taking over an Asian location and, because of Leviathan, most of them should be Japanese, It also fit with his powers and achievements on Earth. Regardless, his name is another indication of just how little Anakin actually cares about Cape culture, he's playing around because it makes Dinah happy, she enjoys using the same mask as him and having a cool name, but he'd be perfectly fine going without a mask and being called Anakin. His name will change again, but it will require another very large achievement to do it, a huge change like him rebranding as a Hero or achieving something far more impressive than killing Lung. Also, Nephilim is really good, much better than what I had in mind. I'm gonna write it down for when it happens,

White Neko Knight

You might not have enjoyed writing it but I really enjoyed reading it. It was a neat look into how the population is reacting and what's been happening in the city. I'm looking forward to Anakin's next steps.

Glitched Knights

Can't wait for the chapter, as usual

Mac-something

I’m new to the world of Worm fics so… in fact I haven’t even read Worm (I know, I know sacrilege and heresy!) …So apologies in advance if I say anything ignorant due to a lack of familiarity with the source material or the fandom. I’ll start with the bit I do really like: Anakin’s ‘arrangement’ with the ABB. As a reader so far I’m most invested in how Anakin and Dinah try to weave their way through the dangerous world of Brockton Bay. This outcome means Vader’s actions have consequences, which can impact the plot later on, but also prevent the story from turning into ‘Anakin Skywalker: Mob Boss’. Your note at the start of the chapter states you’re unlikely to write another PHO chapter. I’m completely fine with that. The PHO format is useful in how it provides a window into members of the public response to such events, but it also a rather ‘distant’ way of conveying this information. A ‘point of view’ chapter from the perspective of a minor member of the ABB could have conveyed a lot of the same information in a more intimate way. Is it worth rewriting the chapter? …Meh, the temporary change of style doesn’t impact subsequent chapters, so despite the critique it doesn’t worry me. I won’t ask for spoilers, but I’m going to guess Lisa and the other member’s of their crew are going to be important in the later chapter, hence why they were introduced in this chapter. P.S. As a code name ‘Susanoo’ will take some time to grow on me, it’s thematically appropriate- and a DEFINITE improvement over Polaris, but I don’t immediately associate Anakin with a name that has so many rounded vowels in it. How about ‘Nephilim’ as a code name? The PRT knows his name is ‘Anakin Skywalker’ and outside of Star Wars content the main thing you find online, when you type ‘Anakin’ online is references to the ‘Anakim’ a group of giants (nephilim), descended from the fallen angels, who somehow managed to survive Noah’s flood. If fits thematically with the names of the Endbringers- and this very chapter was FULL of nervous comparisons to their power.

Vegetables

Good chapter thanks :) Also one of the better Pho things I've read. Didn't expect it in two sections, ha.

CapitaoCav

Well, yes, people knew what happened, they just hadn't uploaded the video yet. Doesn't mean they hadn't talked about what went down. I wanted it to seem like it was more... Something people were already talking about, but we're still not sure was true until the video.