VoidHerald
patreon
Kairos 54: Heart of the People
🕑 Added 2021-08-03 07:36:50 +0000 UTC“Yes,” Andromache said.
“No,” Cassandra replied.
They answered as Kairos had expected.
The [Hero] had gathered his officers and key councilors in the Foresight’s cargo hold, to discuss the situation away from the merfolk’s prying gaze. All of them sat around a table, and had quickly split into two sides.
Andromache, obviously, had leapt on the chance to inflict a devastating blow on the merfolk, and Agron supported her. Cassandra voiced her support for the current trade agreement with Orichalcos, and to Kairos’ surprise, Nessus had followed her lead. Only Tiberius remained undecided.
Kairos didn’t dare invite more people for the sake of secrecy. If a word of Hybris’ visit reached the merfolk, then they risked endangering the entire crew. “Lyce has the greatest number of [Demigods] and [Heroes] in the Sunsea,” Kairos said while glancing at his aide Tiberius. “Have you ever heard of [Pantheons]?”
“The only [God] we produced is Lycaon, who we chained, and the artificial spirit of the Senex assembly, which doesn’t behave like a true deity,” Tiberius replied. “I haven’t heard of [Pantheons], but… their existence would explain a few things.”
“Such as?” Cassandra asked with a frown.
“The surviving New Gods didn’t make war between themselves, outside of Lycaon and Alexandria,” Tiberius explained. “If the Cetus is correct, then the wolf-god formed a separate [Pantheon] with his pack. It is possible that Alexandria, Orgonos, Asterius, and the other New Gods who prevailed during the Anthropomachia formed a similar alliance between themselves to avoid conflicts.”
“I don’t know about the New Gods, but [Pantheons] are a thing, yes,” Nessus said, causing everyone to look at him. “Though saying that they prevent conflict is misleading. The Olympians bickered all the time, it’s just that their disputes were codified.”
“Like the patronage of Athens, or the Judgment of Paris?” Agron asked, crossing his arms. “Athena and Poseidon held a contest to determine who would become Athens’ patron in the first case, and in the second, Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite let a mortal decide who would get the Apple of Discord.”
“Exactly,” Nessus replied with a nod. “Trials by champions were also common. All of this to say, oh my captain, that a [Pantheon] does not prevent disputes. It only makes them indirect or forces parties to follow an established framework.”
“Which is an argument for us,” Agron shrewdly pointed out. “If the Cetus can’t backstab our captain…”
Nessus remained skeptical. “It all depends on the framework set by the [Pantheon] in question. I mean, for a group of bloodthirsty monsters, human sacrifice contests could look halfway civilized. And a [God] willing to let a Cetus inside its [Pantheon] doesn’t strike me as peaceful. For all we know, Typhon the God-Eater himself might be behind it.”
“I could always ask to be allowed into the [Pantheon] and see its framework as a condition to join Hybris,” Kairos said. “If we ever decide to ally with it.”
“More seriously, oh my captain, look at the creature’s name.” Nessus raised his arms theatrically. “Hybris. Pride before a fall? Don’t you see the problem?”
“Our ancestors thought they could overthrow the gods and take their thrones,” Agron said with a shrug. “They succeeded. It’s only pride if you fail.”
“They also drowned the world they were trying to conquer.” The satyr slouched on his chair and put his hooves on the table. “Just saying, this sounds like a lot of trouble for uncertain gain. I say we either take the merfolk on their offer, or better, get paid by both sides and go on our merry way.”
Cassandra looked at her previous captain with a worried frown. “Kairos, do you remember the last time we sacked a city?”
“How could I forget?” The pirate king replied grimly. The deaths that resulted still weighed on his mind.
“We came back with plunder, but the city-state of Orthia sent a fleet back. Hundreds perished… myself included.” Cassandra joined her hands with a grim expression. “Orichalcos is not a city-state, and we do not have a phoenix’s feather to use anymore. Even if destroying the capital will cripple their empire and Hybris pretends otherwise, we can’t rule out the possibility that merfolk remnants will have the means to take revenge on us.”
“With far more resources and far less to lose,” Nessus added.
“I’m sorry Kairos,” Cassandra finished while shaking her head. “This situation reminds me far too much of our failed alliance with Mithridates to my liking. I’ll have to vote no.”
When she put it that way...
“I would rather share a bed with a mermaid rather than a Cetus,” Nessus said. “In both senses of the word.”
“You will have more chances with the latter than the former,” Andromache scoffed at the satyr. “The fish look down on us, and offer their table scraps.”
Agron nodded. “We could trade with the mermaids for a thousand years, and we wouldn’t get a hundredth of this city’s wealth. Our leader is called the [Monster Reaver], and allying with monsters is what we do. It has worked well for us so far. The mermaids offer us almost nothing, I say we take it all. Maybe we’ll get [Legends] out of it too.”
“I don’t trust anyone nostalgic of the Old Gods, my other half,” Andromache said to Kairos with disdain. The more time she spent in Orichalcos, the more she hated the kingdom. “And if I could study their piece of the trident, I might find a way to disrupt the Poison King’s.”
“We might gain a lot of wealth in the short-term if we succeed,” Cassandra said. “And even if we do, this means letting the Abysseans become the dominant power of the depths and making an enemy of the merfolk. They will never forget.”
“Good,” Andromache replied with a cruel smile. “Let them remember what happens when they don’t treat us as equals.”
Having heard their arguments, Kairos turned at the only officer who had yet to take a side. “Tiberius?”
“I am torn, sir,” the Lycean admitted. As the youngest and more inexperienced member of the crew, he sounded unsure if he should participate in the debate at all.
“There is no right or wrong answer,” his captain encouraged him.
Tiberius joined his hands together. “On one hand, if the Cetus is genuine, then we have the most to gain by allying with it,” he said after a moment of thoughtful consideration. “No more attacks on the surface would save countless lives each year, and usher in a new era of trade. However, so long as the merfolk and their rivals are locked in an endless stalemate, neither can turn their eyes to the surface. If the Abysseans prevail, Orichalcos will no longer act as a buffer state between us and them. I am not certain the immediate benefits will outweigh future costs.”
“So you suggest walking away?” Agron scoffed.
“No,” Tiberius said while shaking his head. “I would leverage a current position without committing to either side.”
“What do you mean by that?” Kairos asked, curious.
“The Abysseans and merfolk have been at war for centuries.” Tiberius smiled at his superior. “You, sir, can currently serve as a middleman between them.”
Cassandra’s eyes lit up. “We could act as mediators.”
“This may be idealistic of me, sir, but I have seen you reconcile former foes and form strong bonds with unlikely allies,” Tiberius continued with a smile. “I know you can do it again.”
He had that much faith in his commander? It warmed Kairos’ heart, though the Travian captain didn’t feel as confident.
“It will be a waste of time,” Andromache said with a snort.
Kairos couldn’t help but agree. “This war for the ocean has lasted since after the Anthropomachia. If peace is even possible, it could take us years of effort to draft a consensus.”
“I understand the difficulties, but I believe we should at least try,” Tiberius insisted, though his argument turned out to be more pragmatic than idealistic. “It costs us nothing, while a war is exhausting. The conflict will not be won in one battle, and if we join either side, then we will be associated with it for years. And if peace negotiations fail, then we should walk away.”
“You would turn down our agreement with the merfolk?” Cassandra asked, very much surprised. “You helped negotiate the deal arduously.”
“My father taught me that one’s decision should be guided by reason and divorced from emotions, Lady Cassandra,” Tiberius explained. “I have no problem altering my conclusions if facts change. That trade agreement is not worth fighting a whole [Pantheon], especially one aware of our coming. We came to Orichalcos as a brief stop on our path to Vali and then the den of Orgonos, not to get embroiled in a potentially lengthy foreign conflict. We already have our own campaign to prepare.”
Though he was inexperienced, Tiberius had enough wisdom to tamper his idealism with pragmatism. His advice was the soundest so far, though Kairos remained undecided.
He had to make a choice though. With such a split, the captain’s vote would be the deciding one.
Allying with Hybris would pay better, but it would come with heavy risks and result in a city’s entire destruction. Though Kairos was no stranger to battle, he still remembered that fateful season he raided Orthia’s coasts and watched his men massacre civilians. In the end, it led to a disastrous battle where almost all humans perished, and only the monsters rejoiced.
Kairos had promised to change that day, and make sure such a scenario wouldn’t happen again. If Tiberius was correct and peace was an option, the pirate wanted to give it a chance.
Somehow, Kairos began to think about what other rulers he had met would do.
Mithridates would probably find a way to sow discord and worsen the conflict. He would weaken both sides until one begged for his help, allowing him to extract larger concessions and spread his influence. He would stop at nothing to gain an advantage, and in the end, he would ruin both sides and come out on top.
Sertorius always conditioned his help to a marriage alliance, though the merfolk royal family’s inbreeding made it impossible. As such, he would probably take the Cetus’ deal, as joining a [Pantheon] was the next best thing. The Lycean didn’t care about bloodshed or the means employed to secure victory; only whether or not he could trust the other party to serve his family’s ambitions.
Medea would have walked away, and probably Queen Thalestris too. This wasn’t their war.
“I need a moment to think this through,” Kairos decided, an idea crossing his mind. “I need to check something first.”
----------------
Life as a shark was strange.
Everything felt different. He could sense every tiny vibration in the water, see as well in the darkness as in the light, and hear with incredible acuity. He also noticed invisible forces he couldn’t explain, strange electrical currents pointing north and south.
But the smell was the most spectacular. He could smell blood all over the city, from the tiniest gashes to the stench of slaughterhouses. It aroused him too. Though he kept his human mind even in animal form, his new body’s instincts remained.
[Skinchanging] unseen from the merfolk had been difficult, especially since he had to leave his clothes and weapons behind at the Foresight. But once Kairos had fully transformed, nobody paid him attention. Sharks were common in the merfolk’s capital city.
But just in case...
You upgraded [Turncoat 2] to [Turncoat 3]. [Hero] Ranks and below will be unable to read your class information either with spells or Skills. Additionally, you can choose to present false information of your choosing.
Perfect. Kairos used [Observer] on other sharks, trying to see how they were called. Perhaps there was a naming theme.
Tigershark, Mousson the Jaws, Seteeth Swims-the-River, Selachii of the Black Ocean, Sharky...
Weird names, huh? Kairos tried to find one that would fit. Sharkander, Sekolah...
“Sharknado,” the disguised human muttered, suddenly inspired. “Sharknado it is.”
It sounded just about right.
To outsiders, Kairos of Travia had become Sharknado of the Tempest Sea, a [Common] shark traveler. Unless he crossed paths with a [Demigod], nobody should identify his true nature.
The Travian didn’t have a particular plan in mind. He simply wanted to get a feel of the merfolk’s society. He had only interacted with the royal family and their guards so far, and he doubted that they represented the whole civilization's population.
Kairos ended up spending minutes swimming through the marvelous streets of Orichalcos without speaking to anyone, amazed by the city's beauty. Every building seemed made of nacre. Statues of Poseidon, Oceanus, and the old sea gods decorated canal-like streets, alongside colorful anemone trees and shining jellyfishes.
Kairos eventually made his way to a lovely park built inside a coral reef. Clusters of anemones, seagrass, and strange flowers formed an undersea forest, while merchants had set up an open bazaar, using large seashells as stands to present their wares. Some sold pearls and shell luxuries, others alien plants the Travian had never seen before. His [Poison Brewer 3] Skill identified many of them as high-quality toxin sources, and his [Barter 3] provided him with rough prices. The Travian was tempted to return to this place in human form and do some shopping.
The park also had a zoo of sorts, with strange net-cages of coral keeping large creatures kept in. The merfolk had quite the menagerie of exotic squids and fish in reserve, one of them so colorful Kairos mistook it for a peacock.
Then he noticed her. She occupied the largest cage of the menagerie
The mermaid was more ‘fish’ than woman though. Though she was no larger than any other member of the merfolk, her lower half belonged to a sleek killer whale rather than a fish, while the upper body’s skin white as snow with long dark hair floating in the waters. A choker covered in magical glyphs squeezed her throat, while four merfolk guards kept her cage.
Kairos didn’t see any way to approach her without alerting the guards, and so could only watch from afar. The captive mermaid seemed lost in a deep meditation, but when the Travian used [Observer] on her she opened eyes as black as the darkest night.
Nausicaa Seastar
Legend: Silent Death (Elite)
Race: Mermaid (Cetacean)
Class: Rogue (Assassin, Raider, Duelist, Hunter)
Level: 40.
Cetacean?
Though a crowd of merfolk swam through the bazaar, some stopping to look at the menagerie, Kairos could tell that this Nausicaa was looking at him directly. She had sharp senses, and cold eyes.
Kairos could recognize a hardened killer when he saw one.
Unwilling to draw attention to himself, the Travian moved towards the nearest stand, where a merfolk merchant sold expensive sapphire and coral jewelry.
“Hello,” Kairos declared in ancient Greek, having realized that most merfolk could speak it. Even now, the Travian still didn’t understand how he could speak when transformed into a shark. His research had shown that these animals had no organ meant for vocalization, and yet he could still form words. He blamed the [Beast Tongue 3] Skill for this oddness. “I’m new here, could you give me some directions?”
“Certainly,” the merchant replied with politeness. He was quite handsome, with long black hair, a beard, and an expensive shirt made of woven scale. “What are you looking for?”
“I’ve heard foreigners from the surface arrived in the city recently,” Kairos said. “I’ve never seen any landwalker, so I wondered if you could show me where they are.”
“The landwalkers?” The merchant’s expression instantly deflated. “Yes, I’ve seen them near the docks. Trust me, they’re nothing impressive.”
Something in his tone immediately bothered Kairos. “You don’t seem to like them.”
“The landwalkers steal our fish in shallow waters, and now they’re going to move into our cities?” The merchant snickered. “We are the heirs of the ocean. Their ships? They’re trespassing. Truly, one day they’re going to push us too far.”
“What does this mean?” Kairos asked, trying to sound neutral.
“I don’t say we should get violent, but… well, it’s going to happen if they don’t understand their place. ”
“I hope it won’t come to that,” the Travian [Hero] replied while hiding his disdain, before glancing at the captured merfolk. “And what did she do to end up in a cage?”
“Oh, her?” The merchant raised an eyebrow. “She’s a slave.”
Kairos froze. Like above, like below, he thought with disgust. “She is for sale?”
The merchant laughed. “If she were, I would have made her my pleasure slave long ago! No, shark, she is a slave of the state. She was the champion of some barbarian tribe that refused to civilize, and even bred with Cetae. Killed fifteen of our bravest soldiers. His late Majesty Triton the VIIIth decided to parade her until his son Triton the IXth grew old enough to claim her [Legend].”
Barbarian tribe? “I thought Orichalcos ruled all merfolk?”
Kairos must have been too pushy or obvious in his questions, because the merchant started looking at him suspiciously. “Where do you come from?” he asked, probably using an [Observer] Skill to analyze him. “Sharknado of the Tempest Sea?”
“I come from the harsh stormy seas of the north,” Kairos replied evasively, doing his best to sound like some backward peasant ashamed of his own ignorance. “It’s my first time moving to a big city.”
Thankfully, his high [Charisma] and [Speech] Skill made his words sound believable. “Oh,” the merchant said, before giving his visitor the most arrogant, haughtiest smirk Kairos had ever seen. “You come from the provinces?”
Kairos would have punched him in the face, if he had arms.
“Well, unfortunately, my naive friend, there are always primitive tribes refusing to civilize,” the merchant said while glancing at the captive. “A shame I can’t buy her though. Barbarians with a drop of Cetus blood are the best lay. My wife is all stiff and doesn’t make a sound, but that one… she’s still half-wild.”
Kairos had heard enough. “Thank you for the directions.”
“Be sure to come back,” the merchant said with a smile. “This stand doesn’t pay for itself.”
“I’ll come back,” Kairos replied, before sending one last glance at Nausicaa. The captive mermaid kept staring at him in silence, her expression indecipherable. Eventually, she closed her eyes and returned to her meditation.
I will return, Kairos thought.
The Travian could have sworn he saw a thin smile forming on the mermaid’s lip, right before he lost sight of her.
---------------------------------
Kairos asked a few questions here and there, and learned a great deal.
Though he found it humiliating, presenting himself as a naive country shark yielded results. The common merfolk were actually quite friendly and willing to enlighten him.
“There are always barbarians who refuse to accept Their Majesties’ divine right to rule the depths,” a florist mermaid explained to him, while tending to an anemones bouquet. Kairos was frankly tempted to buy one for Andromache, though he unfortunately lacked the money to do so. “Some even ally with the Abysseans, or even reproduce with them. Our kingdom has been steadily pacifying these groups, or pushing them back into the Abyssean territories. Don’t worry, they haven’t been more than a nuisance in centuries.”
“I couldn’t imagine merfolk making alliances with Cetea,” Kairos said. “I wonder if it means we could make peace with them.”
“Make peace with the Abysseans?” The botanist smiled kindly. “They ate our last king, and the one before.”
Yes, that did make things harder. “You think the war will never end?”
“We’ve had a hundred truces with the Cetae, but none that lasted more than a decade. Some fresh quarrel always breaks out and opens the old wounds.” The florist shook her head. “Call me a cynic, but no, the war will continue until the sun dies out.“
Kairos sighed in despair. He had asked the same question half a hundred times so far, and always received the same answer.
“Don’t look so unhappy, kind shark,” the florist said. “Even if war is an inherent part of the world, it is still a beautiful place.”
“Have you ever been to the surface?” Kairos asked, changing the subject. “I heard the world above ground holds many wonders.”
Her smile brightened, and she adjusted her crimson hair. “I visited the island of Vali in the past,” she said, much to the infiltrated pirate’s surprise. “I met someone there. A human sailor. I visit him every moon.”
“That’s great.”
“It’s hard though, and not just because of our anatomies,” she said. “We live worlds apart. He is a very powerful human, while I am as lowborn as they come. He says he could provide me with accommodations if I come to live with him on the surface, but… I don’t know.”
“Go for it,” Kairos encouraged her, thinking of Andromache. “Even if the barrier between different species is often hard to climb, love makes it worth it.”
She chuckled. “What do you know of love, brave shark? But I thank you for the advice.”
-----------------------------------
“The humans?” The merfolk trader asked with a frown. “I trade with them all the time on the surface. They aren’t that different from us. Some are friendly, others best avoided. Like the Travians. They’re more likely to hunt you than trade. I was the first person to be surprised when they sent a delegation to our capital.”
“I heard things have improved since that griffin king took over,” Kairos said.
“You mean the Sellsword King? I heard the same, but I’m not sure if he will last. He has made many enemies, some in this city too. Friends in the royal guard told me that he threatened the queen herself with that Scylla of his. He made a mistake, and he will pay dearly for it.”
The fake shark stiffened. “What do you mean by that?”
“Some of my colleagues among the merchant guild take money from the King of Pergamon, a rival power, to scout his island and keep him informed of his movements,” the trader admitted, causing Kairos to freeze in place. “I’m sure word of this delegation already reached that man’s ears. He’s a [Hero]-Rank [Spymaster] after all.”
Kairos’ gaze turned dangerous. “You think he will scout the royal family for an alliance too?”
“Maybe?” The trader shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not privy to Their Royal Majesties’ council. If I were, I would advocate neutrality. The surface’s wars do not concern us, and conflicts are bad for trade. Our feud with the Abysseans is already a constant drain on our finances, we don’t need another.”
“Would you rather make peace with them? The Abysseans?”
“I would, but the decision-makers and landowners will never agree to it. They have too much to lose, and the Abysseans ask for too much.”
Kairos glanced at the royal palace overshadowing the city. “You think this surface embassy will lead to anything lasting?”
“Honestly?” The trader shook his head. “No.”
---------------------------------
As it turned out, even the merfolk had bars.
Kairos had never seen anything like this. Patrons gathered in an amphitheater of granite, ‘breathing’ colored bubbles full of alcoholic beverages, drugs, and the ultimate luxury, pure bottled air from the surface. The staff kept these strange ‘drinks’ in storage thanks to hermetic amphoras, and the undercover Travian counted at least twenty different kinds.
“Humans?” The barmaid asked, a pretty mermaid who reminded Kairos of his mother Aurelia. Same steely gaze, but very different words. “They’re the worst. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a speciesist or anything… but if they could rule themselves, why are they always at war? They’re primitive.”
“Maybe it’s a question of wealth and culture,” Kairos argued. “If they had the same riches as us—”
“No, they can’t help it, it’s in their blood. They can’t manage their own lives. It’s like asking slaves to run our households. Some people are born to lead, others to obey.”
Kairos strongly resisted the urge to bite her throat off. “If so, then how do you explain the Anthropomachia?”
“Don’t tell me about it. That’s what happens when you let the landwalkers do as they wish. Disaster after disaster.” The mermaid grinned. “But it’s going to be alright.”
Kairos squinted. “What does that mean?”
“The oracle predicted it. A second sun will rise above the sea, and herald the return of the old gods. They will bring back order to the surface, you will see.” The smile that followed sent shivers down Kairos’ fin. “You will see.”
----------------------------------
The undersea temple was full, when the white whale began her sermon. The seastone pillars were so high that Kairos might have called them towers on land, and yet so many fish, sharks, squids, and merfolks had gathered that he struggled to squeeze inside.
Safe inside a bubble more than thirty meters in diameter, a whale with porcelain skin and silver eyes faced the crowd. She wore a crown of gemstones, and colorful tattoos of waves and fish all over her body. The animal oozed ancient wisdom and serene grace.
Kairos was careful not to come into the creature’s line of sight, though he quickly used [Observer] on it.
Pherusa, Oracle of the Waves
Legend: Voice of the Depths (Demigod)
Race: White Whale (Leviathan)
Class: ???
Level: ???
Unlike Nausicaa, the whale paid the Travian no mind. Kairos suspected that he didn’t stand out much among the other thousand or so visitors looking at her.
“I bear word of our future, carried by the waves!” The great whale spoke in Travian, or so Kairos heard. She probably had a translation skill of some kind. “An old ember will give rise to a new sun, as foretold by the prophecy! A light that will clear the skies, and banish the darkness!”
Her voice sounded like a song, and a jolt of lightning filled Kairos’ bones. Though the words should have unsettled him, he was almost carried by the passion in her words, the glorious future she predicted.
No, Kairos thought, trying to focus. No, this is not me.
[Charmed] negated by [Leadership 3].
“Those who came before will live again!” The whale continued her sermon. “Tartarus will be empty, and the usurpers will be cast down from their ill-gotten thrones! The world that was unmade will be reforged! As it was, so shall it be!”
The temple erupted in a joyful chorus, with only one shark remaining silent amidst the cheers and the shouts.
----------------------------------
Kairos came back to the Foresight at nightfall.
The monstrous ship waited for him, anchored near the crew’s breathable quarters. Though Kairos used [Invisibility] and [Sneak] to slip past the guards patrolling the perimeter, the living vessel seemed to stir at his presence. It had sensed its master, and welcomed him home.
“You knew it would come to this, didn’t you?” Kairos whispered.
The ship’s bow opened to reveal hungry jaws full of Cetean fangs. It reminded the Travian of a grotesque, monstrous smile.
The Foresight was a [Monster Reaver]’s ship, and had developed a personality to match.
Kairos approached the dome protecting the deck, and noticed Cassandra waiting for him with his [Anemoi Spear], [Golden Fleece], crown, and clean clothes near the ship’s bow. The Foresight’s captain crossed the translucent substance separating the waters from the deck and shapeshifted back into a human halfway through.
“So?” Cassandra asked with a worried face when he dropped his [Invisibility] and landed on the deck.
She had already guessed his answer by the icy look of his face, and dreaded it.
“They think we’re beasts,” Kairos said while putting on the clothes. “Let’s not disappoint them.”
At the end of the day, he was a pirate king, and his people’s well-being came first.
----------------------
A/N: chapter made possible by you, dear patrons. Next chapter, the ruins of Atlantis!
Comments
Ur da best!!!
jj
That Cetacean Mermaid is joining Kairos' menagerie, right?
Imran
Thanks!
Puri Iresan
Before he made his decision he listened to his advisors and he touched ground to do his own Research. Informed decision. Best way to do it.
Void Herald
Mmm, from what I see you actually have two accounts on discord, one with the perks, one without... Try to resync the account using that link: https://www.patreon.com/settings/apps ; if it fails I'll add the roles to both accounts manually.
BlackFire13th
Good, was hoping Kairos would take the Cetus' side. Shine as the city might, look a little closer to see the rot and decay it's concealing beneath the glimmer. Soliloquy aside, the merfolk are arrogant to the extreme but lack the strength to warrant it. Also Void, this might not be the best place to ask about this but I seemed to have been deranked on the discord server.
Michael Frankford
Love it, brilliant chapter
sri kalyan mulukutla
Nuausicca😁
Max Müller
Sharknado ..... lol
