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Apocalypse Tamer 118: Woman vs Team-Building
🕑 Added 2023-02-14 09:27:03 +0000 UTCPrevious Chapter
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It had been a day and a night since the Incursion began.
Greece’s sky remained a shining circuit of golden pathways and eldritch energy. The light did not dim no matter the hour. Day and night alike had lost all meaning.
But it wasn’t the sky above her head that worried Vasi Yaga. It was the ground beneath her feet. It hadn’t stopped shaking every few hours or so since the party had left Thessaloniki, opening rifts across the countryside and raising large waves battering against the Mediterranean shores. After a narrow encounter where a large part of the coast fell into the sea, the group had retreated deeper inland.
On the morning of the Incursion’s second day, Steve stopped under the ominous shadow of Mount Olympus to rest. The green aurora at the mountain’s top indicated that its summit had been turned into a dungeon, though fortunately no portal opened above the mountain; Vasi guessed Ashok ensured that as few rifts as possible would threaten his turf. The Bohens had lost their pursuers along the way and disposed of the creatures in the area, so they should have a moment of peace.
They needed it.
As she finished her tour of the sky in search of potential danger, Vasi landed back at the camp to find Basil hard at work cooking breakfast. From the smell, he was preparing crepes with eggs, pesto, cheese, and a slice of bread.
All with a disappointed look on his face.
Having gone steady with him for over three months now, Vasi was starting to understand how her boyfriend’s mind worked. Though he had mellowed out over the course of their journeys, Basil was an angry man at heart. When wronged, he retaliated with extreme force and prejudice. And when he failed, his fury turned inward. So Basil Bohen kept his mind busy through work.
Vasi had tried to reach out to him by offering him a shoulder to cry on, but by now she understood Basil wasn’t the kind of person to confide or talk things out. Manual labor was therapy for him.
The best she could do for now was to give him space until he reached out to her.
Vasi landed among the rest of the team, who had spread around the Steamobile. Shellgirl was typing on that strange machine the humans of Earth called a ‘laptop’ while Plato and Rosemarine were playing a Board & Conquest game; the latter was rooted in the earth in her nymph form and welcomed a distraction when she produced her miraculous fruits.
As for Bugsy…
“Bugsy, are you reading a book?” The scene of the giant centipede monster carefully flipping a small manual’s pages with his enormous pincers was so incongruous that gave Vasi pause. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you do that.”
“Ah, yes it is.” Bugsy cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed. “I figured I needed to.”
“How so?” Vasi checked the book’s cover. “The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature… isn’t that one of Basil’s books?”
“I, uh, I borrowed it from the Boss, yes.” Bugsy’s startail wagged sheepishly. “I mean, I’m strong, but you and Shellgirl… you’re smart. I figured that since battles will only get harder from now on, I should strengthen my mind.”
“A wise choice, Bugsy.” Though Vasi wasn’t sure if this book held secrets that would enhance Bugsy’s battle performance, everyone should read a book now and then. An open mind was stronger than a narrow one. “What is this grimoire about?”
“I’ve just started it, but it’s fascinating.” Bugsy’s embarrassment turned to enthusiasm as he shared his discovery. “Did you know that many species develop new traits to maximize reproductive success? Breeding is one of the main factors of evolution!”
“It is true that Basil’s werebear evolution played a role in us getting together,” Vasi joked.
“Exactly!” Bugsy nodded happily. “I’m sure this book contains insight that will help us in battle!”
Vasi smiled. She was starting to understand why Bugsy picked this book. It did appeal to his strange obsession with romance in general.
“Does it tell you how to win Board & Conquest games too?” Plato asked as he stood atop a cushion and pushed a Vanir Cat Chariot figurine closer to one of Rosemarine’s Fafner Dragons. From the shape of the board, Plato was desperately trying to exploit an opening in his rival’s formation as a last-ditch effort to escape encirclement. “‘Cause I need help right now.”
“I sacrifice five resources to summon a Treescarred Dwarf Shaman next to my western fort,” Rosemarine said as she moved the appropriate figure on the board. “It gives my dragon a shield token, so you can’t kill it next turn.”
“No, no, no! No, you don’t!” Plato cursed, slamming his cushion with his paws in his rage. “Curse this cheating Nidavelir expansion!”
“I do not cheat, Mr. Plato.” Rosemarine’s expression turned into a smug grin. “I win.”
“You should start fielding some Aesir tanks with your Vanir infantry, Plato,” Vasi suggested. “Playing mono-armies has never been the best strategy in B&C.”
But Plato wouldn’t hear any of it. “I know my proud feline army will eventually pull through. Who cares if they are not the strongest? They more than make up for it in nobility of life, in the beauty of their spirit–”
“I have my dragon eat your goddess and her little cat too,” Rosemarine said as she toppled two figures off the board.
“Argh!” Plato hissed in anger.
“I will compost every figurine you care about.” Rosemarine’s grin turned into an unsettling smile. She was disturbingly competitive about war games, and terrifyingly good at them. “Then I will lick your tears!”
“Hey, guys, cut down on the banter!” Shellgirl chided them over her laptop. “I can’t hear Ronald!”
Bugsy immediately raised his head from his book. “Ronald?”
“Yes, Ronald!” Shellgirl flipped her laptop and showcased the screen to the group. “Say hello to everyone!”
To Vasi’s surprise, it appeared Shellgirl had refined her laptop with parts from the Unity’s holomachines. The screen was segmented like a beehive, with each alcove showcasing a different person’s face. Three of them showed the shining eyes of reformed Gearsmen. Two more pictured were a pale goblin and a more brutish, orcish creature. Only the sixth showcased Ronald.
Vasi immediately identified her old ally, though he had undergone some changes. The demonic burger had grown even larger than before; the call showed him looming over the neurotower he controlled like a child over a toy. The burger creature now wore a golden crown encrusted into its bread body, and its saliva resembled acidic green sauce rather than ketchup. Finally, four legs of mismatched chicken drumsticks carried it like an elephant.
“Ronald says hello!” the creature waved his slimy tongue at the Bohens. “Ronald glad to see you all grown-up!”
“Hello!” Rosemarine kindly waved back. “Nice legs! How many monsters did you kill to grow them?”
“They’re beautiful,” Bugsy commented. “And they’re crispy!”
“Ronald now Burger King,” Ronald replied. “With a whooping level 70!”
Plato snorted. “Do trademarks still apply now that the world ended?”
Vasi wondered how Ronald could gain so many levels without killing his way across the world as the Bohens did, before remembering he had tied himself to that French dungeon that they conquered a while ago. It made her feel a bit jealous that he didn’t have to suffer to earn those levels.
Some of the other people on the screen looked strangely familiar too. “Do I know you?” Vasi asked the goblinoid creature. “I feel like we’ve met before.”
“Duh,” the white goblin said. “We were neighbors.”
That did it. In what had felt like a lifetime ago, Shellgirl held a market in the Barthes marshes of southern France to trade supplies with other monsters. Orcine had been alive back then, and they met Kalki for the first time at the gathering.
“Cafaimal and…” Vasi drew a blank. “Benny?”
“Benoit,” the orcish creature answered. “Benoit the Hob.”
“Sorry, it’s been a while,” Vasi apologized. “I think the house was still standing when we last met.”
“You guys fled and abandoned the marsh to Apollyon!” Bugsy scolded them. “Cowards!”
“Yeah, we’re sorry about that,” Cafaimal, the white goblin, answered with a tone that implied otherwise. “No offense, but we thought you guys were toast and it was best to skip town.”
“Did it work out for you?” Plato asked lazily.
“We’re still alive,” Cafaimal replied with a shrug. “I admit we were surprised when we applied to that big trade organization and it turned out to be yours.”
“That’s right, Shellgirl International is everywhere!” Shellgirl boasted. “A worldwide supply chain!”
“Query,” one of the Gearsmen said. “Were the runecore fragments of sufficient quality?”
“They were perfect!” Shellgirl smiled wickedly. “So much that, in the light of these troubled times we’re living through, I’m giving you all a raise!”
A joyful chorus echoed her proposal. “Strong statement,” one of the Gearsmen answered. “You are the best employer we ever had.”
Considering the last one didn’t even pay them, Vasi guessed that didn’t mean much. Shellgirl appreciated the praise all the same. “You are too kind,” the mimic told her friends. “We’ll keep in touch until the Incursion ends! See you!”
The Bohens waved goodbye to their allies across Europe before Shellgirl closed her laptop and ended the transmission. “That went well,” she said. “The Incursion is causing a lot of disruptions, but they’re adjusting.”
“Is everything alright on their end?” Bugsy asked out of concern. “I mean, are there any creatures as strong as Brina and Belphegor appearing in France and Bulgaria?”
“Thankfully not.” Shellgirl sat next to the B&C board to observe the competition. “Since Leroy blew up most neurotowers in Western Europe, portals are few and far between in the region. There are some level sixty or so creatures running around, but they’re manageable.”
“Makes sense,” Vasi said. “Considering how experience is distributed, the higher the level curve, the fewer the people. There must be one level forty monster for every ten thousand level twenty and so on.”
Shellgirl nodded. “That and neither the Unity nor the Apocalypse Force sent a lot of invaders this time. At least in Western Europe.”
Of course. The Unity faced a lot of trouble since Walter distributed his Awaken Soul virus to its enemies off-world, and the Apocalypse Force focused its remaining armies in Greece under the command of its remaining Horsemen. Civilization might actually weather the third Incursion better than the last.
But since the fourth would allow the likes of the Maleking to enter Earth, it was probably the calm before the storm.
“I’ve also made progress on the Belphegor front.” Shellgirl clapped her hands and materialized two green arrows in them. “Look! Can you tell the difference?”
“Let me see.” Vasi examined the projectiles. To her surprise, the stats of each indeed differed slightly. Both were poisonous arrows capable of bypassing Poison Immunity, but included different conditions for this ability to trigger. “The first arrow only affects individuals with a lower level than the archer, while the second allows a Vitality check to ignore the ailment.”
“I knew you would see it!” Shellgirl stored the arrows in her inventory before rubbing her hands. “I’ve been experimenting with my crafting process and here’s what I’ve found: as far as ailments are concerned, a drawback will remain no matter how much I optimize the item. I think the rule is that there must always be a way out even if it can bypass immunity.”
“I suppose that’s inevitable,” Vasi noted. As much as she wanted to find the perfect weapon, the System was designed to grant everyone a relatively fair chance to become Overgod. Even the leaders of Dismaker Labs couldn’t cover all their weaknesses.
“That’s not all,” Shellgirl added. “The more targets the item can affect, the broader the escape clause.”
“Oh, I get it!” Bugsy wagged his startail. “Since the petrification bomb can affect everything in a vast radius, it has a lot of drawbacks that a single-target arrow won’t have!”
“Exactly!” Shellgirl beamed with pride. “Hence my plan. I can refine an object that will bypass Petrification Immunity and the lower-level requirement. However, it means the item will only target one individual who will have a chance to shrug off the ailment with sufficient Vitality, since that’s the stat that matters most against Petrification.”
“So in short, if you create a petrification arrow,” Vasi summarized, “Not only will we need to nail Belphegor with it, but also lower his Vitality stat to make sure he won’t be able to resist it?”
Shellgirl confirmed with a nod. “That’s the idea. I’m also thinking of crafting bullets too.”
“Basil will love them,” Vasi confirmed. His Holy War Apotheosis Perk worked on guns as well as swords. “How many projectiles can you craft?”
Shellgirl’s expression instantly deflated. “That’s the bad news. I require a whole Gearsman Titan Core to craft a single projectile, so I can craft… five of them? Six at most, maybe.”
“That’s not much, but I guess it can’t be helped.” Vasi looked over her shoulder as her boyfriend joined the group with a plate full of warm crepes. “We’ll plan our tactics accordingly.”
“How are you feeling, Handsome?” Vasi asked as Basil sat next to her.
“Depressed,” Basil admitted with a sad smile. “I don’t deal with loss well.”
“It’s not a loss, it’s a tactical retreat,” Shellgirl insisted as she napped a crepe. “If we didn’t intend to return and kick their ass, then it would be a loss!”
“I remind you that it’s not the first time we tactically retreated,” Plato mused. “When we were green, we ran away from a Gearsman. A Gearsman. Bugsy saved us all that day.”
“I remember!” Bugsy flapped his wings happily. “We ran all the way to the house and I collapsed from exhaustion afterward!”
“Oh, I never heard of that one!” Shellgirl chuckled. “Was that before we met?”
“Right before,” Rosemarine confirmed. She seemed to remember the event well. “It’s where I grabbed my first gun!”
“Yeah, I guess we’ll do better next time.” Basil nodded to himself. “We know most of the Horsemen’s abilities, so we can plan around them.”
“We should target Belphegor first,” Vasi said as she tasted her crepe. Basil had added spinach to it, which the witch found delightful. Soooo good. “Brina didn’t seem capable of healing her wounds on her own.”
“That’s the first rule of war crimes, shoot the medic first,” Plato mused as he deployed a Vanir Archer to kill Rosemarine’s Treescarred Dwarf Shaman. “Ah! Fate has chosen I, Plato, to turn the tide by destroying your bearded excuse of a healer!”
Rosemarine swiftly countered his move. “I am spending five resources to deploy another and crush all your hopes!”
Plato cursed, much to his party’s amusement. “Speaking of crafting weapons,” Basil told Shellgirl. “Did you manage to create more anti-lightning items?”
“Yep.” Shellgirl nodded. “My devoted workers are gathering thunderbird feathers to craft amulets as we speak. I’m sure I can equip everyone here with one before we hit Athens.”
“Good.” Vasi smiled in relief. “Ashok might have gained a method to bypass Lightning Immunity since our last encounter, but if he hasn’t, these amulets will neutralize his most dangerous attacks.”
“I’m less worried about Ashok than his allies,” Basil admitted. “Since your Darkest Fear spell counters him completely, he will target you first.”
“He will try.” Vasi leaned against her boyfriend’s chest. “Will my dear knight protect me then?”
“Of course.” Basil put an arm around Vasi’s shoulders reassuringly. “I’ll maul him to death before I let him touch you.”
“So romantic…” Bugsy whispered.
“We finally received the funds Neria promised us, so we can raid Walter’s place for more supplies too,” Shellgirl noted with enthusiasm. “We’re one shopping spree away from being invincible!”
“Don’t tempt fate, please,” Plato pleaded as he found his last two commanders cornered by Rosemarine’s army. “And you’re forgetting someone too.”
Basil nodded sharply. “Maxwell.”
“True, he might want to keep Kalki out of our hands,” Vasi noted. She crossed her arms as she reviewed what they knew of Dismaker Labs’ founder… which was unfortunately little. “Does anyone have any idea what his abilities are?”
“Even Leroy didn’t know.” Basil sighed. “We don’t even understand his true nature, nor his motives.”
“He could be the Horseman of Conquest,” Plato suggested.
This drew everyone’s attention. “The Horseman of Conquest?” Vasi repeated with a frown. “Do tell us more, oh king of cats.”
“Am I the only one to remember what that overbearing candle told us?” Plato shrugged. “He said that the Horseman of Conquest had been here long before Apollyon and that was why they entered Earth in the first place. Moreover, he called him–”
“Mammon,” Basil said with a scowl. “The demon of greed. I could see him infiltrate society as a morally bankrupt businessman.”
“But if Maxwell is with the Apocalypse Force, why let the likes of the Unity onto Earth?” Shellgirl pointed out. “It doesn’t add up.”
“Maybe he wants to eat everyone?” Rosemarine suggested.
“He could be playing a double-game,” Vasi agreed. From the one interaction they had, Maxwell didn’t seem physically capable of loyalty. “Conflict seems to be an end in itself for him. He doesn’t even appear interested in becoming an Overgod.”
Shellgirl frowned in skepticism. “I’m not so sure about the conflict part, Vasi. From what we know, he’s been spending what, centuries jumping from world to world, summoning the Trimurti System, and then destroying the place?”
“So?” Basil asked.
“So if I were in his place and my goal was to have fun, I would shake things up now and then,” Shellgirl pointed out. “Repeating the same market strategy again and again sounds awfully boring to me.”
“True,” Vasi conceded. “Maybe Walter is right and Maxwell gains something from the process.”
“Maybe he’s trying to impress a girl?” Bugsy suggested.
The proposal was so outlandish that it drew a chuckle from Basil himself. “Bugsy, don’t take it the wrong way, but how would someone's dating life be related to destroying planets?”
“Uh, I mean…” Bugsy raised his book as if it were a shield. “That’s what the book says! Reproduction becomes more elaborate to shake off parasites and determine a mate’s worthiness to pass on its genes!”
“He’s not wrong, you know?” Plato joked. “I too offer a dead bird to female cats when I want to breeeeeed.”
“When I have a boyfriend, I hope he gives me a dead sun as a token of love,” Rosemarine chirped happily.
The comment immediately triggered Basil’s paternal instincts. “You are too young for boyfriends, Rosemarine.”
Vasi opened her mouth to tease Bugsy about his suggestion… before closing it immediately as a word rang heavily in her mind.
“Parasites.” The witch squinted at Bugsy. “You mentionned parasites?”
“Yes, that’s what the book says.” Bugsy regained confidence at the opportunity of showcasing his newfound knowledge. “Evolution is an arm’s race between lifeforms and parasites that try to feed off them! Like viruses!”
Vasi did not answer immediately. Her mind worked furiously to assemble pieces of a larger puzzle.
Basil immediately noticed her odd response. “Vasi, what’s wrong?”
“If I remember well…” Vasi chewed her lower lip as a hypothesis formed in her thoughts. “At one point, Benjamin compared the neurotower network to a bloodstream.”
“I’m not so sure but it’s an apt analogy, yes. The System does feed on blood and death.” Basil squinted. “Why?”
Because now Vasi started to see the System not as a cold cosmic machine, but as a living creature. And from that perspective, a certain madman’s behavior suddenly became quite logical.
“When you met the elves of Elysium,” she asked, “did you confirm beyond doubt that their world didn’t have a System before the Trimurti were summoned?”
“Yeah, things unfolded as they did on Earth.” Basil quickly caught on. “Maxwell never visited a world that already had a System before his arrival.”
Vasi nodded sharply. She cleared her throat, choosing her words well.
“Imagine,” she said with a deep, serious voice, “that you are a parasite,”
Her entire party afforded her their full attention. Even Plato and Rosemarine interrupted their game to listen.
“You are a vile, monstrous creature that feeds off the misery of others,” Vasi said. “For all of your intelligence, your only objective is to jump from one host to the next as you leave a trail of death in your wake. Survival at any cost. Sounds simple on paper, isn’t it?”
She raised an index finger for dramatic purposes.
“But there’s a catch,” Vasi explained. “You’re the picky kind of parasite. You have evolved to feed off a specific kind of superorganism that demands a lot of resources to raise in the first place. Worse, you inevitably destroy it after working it to death. And there’s evolutionary pressure at work, as Bugsy pointed out. Who is the most vulnerable to infection in a given population?”
Basil scowled. As the one with a background in pharmaceuticals, he was starting to understand the big picture. “Children, because of their underdeveloped immune system.”
“Exactly.” Vasi joined her hands. “Adult hosts will have experience with your kind. Their immune system will recognize the infestation and purge you. But you feed on a very rare kind of host that rarely arises naturally. So how do you solve the problem?”
Plato glanced at Rosemarine. “You cultivate them,” he guessed. “Like a plant.”
“Yes, indeed.” Vasi nodded grimly. “You find a place with rich soil of nutrients, you plant a seed, and then you latch on it like a tick. And when that plant withers after exhausting all its resources–”
“You move on and repeat the process,” Basil cut in sharply. His eyes burned with both horror and anger. “You hop to another planet that doesn’t know any better.”
That was what Bugsy’s book suggested: the more complex a lifeform, the more it would attract leeches and viruses to feed on it. This logic applied to everything.
Even Systems.
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