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Commerce Emperor Chapter 9: The Black Countess

🕑 Added 2023-06-13 08:09:21 +0000 UTC
Commerce Emperor Chapter 9: The Black Countess

Comments

Void Herald

For the crop rotation and a few other things, remember that they're solutions offered by 'mundanes' to develop the area in the long-term; as Robin pointed out, he's not going to stay in Snowdrift forever so As for Florence, it might seem obvious to you as a reader but even my two betas were surprised and didn't see it coming ;) she's a major antagonist going forward for the volume so consider it more of her introduction scene than anything. For limits, they'll keep being explored all story-long; just that memory attack Robin suffered at the beginning of the chapter is an example of how he still has many things to understand about his power. In any case, we've just completed the first arc so there's still lots of things ahead XD

PlasmaticPi

Not gonna lie, this is getting too...simple would be the closest word, compared to your other works. I mean the Florence thing with the assassination was obvious from the first scene with her, crop rotation is as basic as it comes for farming improvements in fantasy books(although the way their powers would help is good), and their powers are almost too op and not nuanced enough. Maybe that last one is just too early to say but where are the limits? Like what happens if the Alchemist tries to turn all the dirt he's touching to stone while holding some in his hand but also standing on some? Or just tries to turn it intentionally? Does it just destroy the world? Or is there a range it affects? And are they using up any sort of energy for their powers, since it seems like they are based on hopes and wishes as was said? Overall I would just suggest a few things. Remove the crop rotation part and focusing more on the greenhouses since that is a lot more interesting and makes more since for the area you've described. Make Florence more of a minor presence, like one of a gaggle of apothecaries and healers. And maybe speed up the discovery of any more limits the powers have.

Void Herald

Thursday chap will be a B&F chappy; for the next interlude, I intend to put it to a poll later.

mhaj58

Shame about the count, but I hope that Robin and Alaire rise up to the challenge. Also Florence is due for a meeting with the Assassin. Are we going to get an interlude on Thursday with Saraseo or Roland?


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