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Story Pilot 2: The Paypocalypse
🕑 Added 2024-10-21 08:10:01 +0000 UTCAaand here's the other story pilot. I'll be posting the poll tomorrow with the links.
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It was on a Tuesday that Martin landed the most important job of his life.
The day started like many others, with him desperately browsing through LinkedIn offers like an addict desperate for a fix. He had taken to praying to God, Buddha, half the Hindu Pantheon, and even some neo-pagan divinities; and each time a deity failed to listen to his prayers, he added a new one to the list.
Someone was bound to answer eventually!
Martin had lost count of how many cover letters he had sent, the countless hours he spent waiting for answers that rarely came, and the rare interviews that went nowhere. Most offers had begun to blur together over time, but something about that one’s garish, ‘DC’ shaped castle logo on it caught his eye. It reminded him of those fantasy novel titles. Even the company’s name, ‘Dungeon Corp,’ seemed more appropriate for a gaming company.
At this point, he would even take a job with a Netorare porn site if the admins would take him.
Martin remembered clicking on the offer without really believing anything would come out of it. The proposal itself looked standard enough… at least, until he read the details.
Job Offer: System Operator
Position: System Operator
Location: Dungeon Corp
Employment Type: Full-Time
Salary: Highly CompetitiveAbout Us:
We are a family forged in stats and bureaucracy, committed to delivering exceptional products and services to our clients. We are seeking a motivated System Operator to join our team. The ideal candidate will be dedicated, detail-oriented, and have a strong risk tolerance.Responsibilities:
Troubleshooting any issues that arise.
Equipment monitoring and collection to ensure optimal performance.
Inventory management.
Occasional asset recovery.
Client request management.
Assist in maintaining security protocols and compliance with company policies.
Requirements:
Familiarity with system monitoring tools and inventory management.
Strong problem-solving skills and the ability to work under pressure.
A family that won’t miss you.
The willingness to do whatever it takes to satisfy a client.
A winner’s mindset and killer instincts are a plus.
Benefits:
Competitive salary of 3,000 a month and gig-based bonuses.
Ailments insurance.
Employee reductions on in-app purchases.
Fantastic out-of-country assignments.
Opportunities for class advancement.
A safe hub environment with employee wellness facilities.
How to Apply:
If you are interested in joining our team as a System Operator, please send your resume and a brief cover letter to the following address:
[ḧ̴̡͇̫̫͕̮͎͍͖̖̼̻́͊̿̈́̀̈́̄͌̚ͅt̸̛̫͔̹̞̠̫̹̔̏̄̑́̑̇͐͌̉͒͘ț̴͉̤̫̲̙̖̠͉̓͌̀͘͘p̸̧̞̣̩̓̀͐̄͂̎͋̓́́̌̄̕̚̚s̵͈̬͚̰͎̱͖̣̖̔̎ͅͅ:̵̢̥̺̰͇̬̱͐̎̆̆̈̋̾̔͑/̴̞̼̹͓̝͗̈/̶̛̮̭͍͎͈̺͖̗̔̀͑̄͆̉̂̐͐̊͂̉̆w̵̧̹̱̣̺͓̮̻̯̠̥̫̲͇͒̎̈́̈̿́͘͝ẘ̸̱̼͕̜̥͇̜͍̰͈͐̏̃̀́̉͌̃̓̕͠w̷̧̨̧̺̄̈́.̶͓̳̯̗̝͚̹̦̞̰̜̒̉̍̆̿̓̄̐͌̿͑͋p̴̲̘̜̮̯̬̼͊̀̑̍̌̉̚͝͝a̸͙͑̌t̵̻̥̳͐̋̇r̷̖̘̺̿̓͂̆̃̆̇͌̂͑̇͝͠͝͝e̴̢̧̢̳͎̼̙̱͉̪̱̥̙̮̿͑̈͋̚̚ͅȯ̷̢̳̜̜̖̓̅́̍̒͋̑̄̈́̆̑̚̚n̵̮͎̮̻͕̂̃͊͑͛̐̄̔̔́.̵̢̫̜̼̫̠̝̟̝͚̗̗̽̈́̑̌̎͗̓̎̃̕̕͝c̴̢̡̗̬͍͈̦̜̙̺̥͍̻͒̂̄̏̎̔͗͐͒̅̈̚͜o̵̦̻͍̥̤̦̖̥̠̞̬͓̘͂ͅm̵̢̦̗͔͒͂̎̑͌̔̏͊͘͠/̸̛̱̱̪̺̟̲͕̟̝̱̣̼̦͆̊̑̆̑͊̑̓͜V̸͙̬̭͉̥̙͖̣̯͛́̐̅ǫ̶̖̬̱̤̬̱͔̞̳̖̹͓̅͜ḯ̵̼̯̦̲̮̩̽̉͐͑͊͋̏́̏͘d̸̢̼͎͙̦̩̪̘͉̖̯̫̜̤́̿̌͘H̸̦̩̹̖̻̠̗͍͕̪̥̰̾͗̅̈́͑̓͝e̷̡̗̖̦͔̊́̍͒̓̌̏̌͋̂͝͝ṛ̵̡̢̣̻̱̹̤̩͙͚̖̜̊̐͐̿͐̆̄͋̓̅͊̋͝ḁ̵̡͙͈̰̲̹̤͙̮̯͎̪̯̩͆͊̂̆͋̈́͗͝ḻ̸̛̛̥̳̉͐̐̊̀̊̂͊͐̾̓d̸̡̛͔̜̥̭̘̹̦͇̠͎̱̾̐̅̔͛͗͂̽̎̓].
The last hyperlink was a gargled mess, which was never a good sign. Other details were hardly any better.
“‘A family that won’t miss you?’” Martin read out loud while sipping from his coffee cup. Like would he have to attend happy hours and return late in the evening? Maybe that was the company’s way of weeding out candidates. He knew a few of them insisted on a homogenous culture among their employees.
Then again, the wording sounded almost intentionally ominous. Whoever wrote this must have had a cup too many or a weird sense of humor. The company could also be the shady sort, like online organ harvesters or drug dealers.
And worst of all, it could be a prank.
A winner’s mindset and killer instincts? Ailments insurance? What did that even mean? Martin did a quick search on the company and came up with nothing. The best he could find about Dungeon Corp was some kind of farming simulator whose logo differed from the one on the offer. This offer seemed shady as all hell.
Maybe he should pass on this one…
Oh, who was he kidding? Martin needed a job. It had been two months since his last internship, his rent was quickly burning through his savings, and freelance gigs barely paid enough to keep him afloat. At this point he would have to consider prostitution, selling a kidney, or fast-food slavery. Anything over moving back in with his parents.
‘Go into IT,’ his teachers said. ‘A job within a day of graduation,’ they said. ‘Easy peasy,’ they said.
The educational system had lied to him! Instead of finding work right after university, Martin had spent the last year alternating between pisspoor internships and soul-crushing job search periods. AI had dealt a heavy blow to most entry-level tasks, and companies usually used entry-level people like Martin for menial tasks. Competition was rude and, most insultingly, recruiters asked for two to three years of professional experience before giving out good contracts.
How did companies expect people like Martin to gain experience if they didn’t offer them any? That was ridiculous!
Martin was sick of internships with no tomorrows. He wanted a job, a real job, with a steady paycheck and professional opportunities. He wanted a company that would appreciate him and a brand to which he could dedicate himself, body, and soul! Hopefully with yearly leaves!
What did he have to lose anymore?
Martin opened his preformatted cover letter and filled in the blanks with Dungeon Corp as he did with dozens of other companies. He remembered his first month when he used to personalize each and every one of them before realizing it was a waste of time. He missed that early days’ enthusiasm, back when he harbored hope for the future.
Martin forwarded the cover letter and his resume through the gargled link, then moved on to the next offer. He barely had time to open a new tab before a new email notification caught his eye. He lazily checked, only for his heart to pound like a war drum in his chest upon seeing the title.
Dungeon Corp Job Offer
Martin opened the mail faster than a social media addict. The text contained no more than a single sentence, yet one that filled him with hope.
When can you start?
A thousand answers crossed Martin’s mind in an instant, all of which boiled down to one word.
“Immediately!” he typed in an instant, hitting the ‘send’ button so fast he only realized his mistake after the deed was done.
Damn it, how did it make him look to send an answer within seconds of receiving a message, while basically admitting he had nothing better to do? Had Martin ruined his chances by looking too eager? He began to bite his left hand’s fingers and squeeze his stress ball with the other in order to clear his mind.
Calm down, Martin, calm down! The company had answered in an instant, far too fast to read his resume and cover letter. Either they were strapped for someone to fill the job somehow, or this was likely a joke of some kind. Considering his luck, it would likely be the latter. This sounds too good, far too goo–
Ding!
Martin nearly fell off his chair as he heard an alarm echo out of nowhere, so close to him it seemed to come from his skull. He barely had time to blink until it appeared right in front of him.
A blue screen.
For a moment, Martin could only stare at it in shock. A floating hologram materialized out of nowhere right in front of him, a mere blue square the size of his head and covered in bright flashing words.
Congratulations on joining us as our newest System Operator, Employee Martin Moreau! You are now part of the great machine of Dungeon Corp, a system family forged in stats and bureaucracy! All your fungible assets have been transformed into System Credits at a preferential treatment to ease your first month among us (current balance: 67 Credits)!
Prepare to receive your assigned starting [Employee] Class, equipment, and your 10% reduction on all in-app purchases!
"W-what the?" Martin asked in utter surprise and disbelief. He looked around for the source of the hologram and found none. In fact, the screen appeared to follow the movement of his eyes. Even so, how could anyone install a projector in his apartment without his notice? It didn’t make any sense! “What’s going on?!”
Another screen appeared in response.
Starting Gig: The Gobs Gotta Go
Difficulty: 1.
Customer: Saltina, Goddess of Salt.
Location: Kingdom of Wolfort, Sorzelia.
Objective: A band of goblins are ransacking a client’s village. ‘Convince’ them to leave, peacefully or otherwise, but remember: violence is always a solution with Dungeon Corp!
Reward: 100 Credits.
A light came out of the screen.
A bright flash swallowed Martin’s entire apartment, blinding him utterly with an eldritch magenta glow. He felt a deep sense of vertigo as the ground beneath his feet vanished in an instant. An intense vibration traveled through his flesh and bones while a weight filled his hands. Martin suddenly wondered if someone had somehow spiked his coffee.
Then the light died and there were screams and fire.
Martin blinked in shock and disbelief, his head snapping from one side to the other in his confusion. His apartment was gone, replaced with bucolic greenery and small muddy houses of wattle and daub. A large woman’s statue standing in the middle of a pond smelling of salt cast a dark shadow upon him, while dirty people in clothes straight out of a medieval fair knelt near the waters in supplication.
Oh, and a mill was burning on a nearby hill. Most of the screams came from there.
At this point, Martin was far too astonished to pay that ominous sign the attention it deserved. His eyes wandered to the weight in his hands and soon stared at a long rifle-like firearm. Though Martin had never used any, he had played enough video games to recognize it.
A shotgun.
A sawed-off shotgun.
His clothes had changed too. Martin looked down to find his pajamas replaced with a yellow shirt and beige pants uniform, with its own pair of shoes. He touched his hair and grabbed the cap which had somehow found its way to the top of his head. It was black, with the garish castle logo of Dungeon Corp on it.
Everything happening around him flew in the face of all logic and sense! Had he been teleported somewhere else across the world? And outfitted with a uniform while he was at it? What kind of company could even do that?! It also felt far too real for it to be holograms or virtual reality.
Either Martin had been hallucinating all morning, or he really should have read his job offer’s fine print.
One of the men kneeling around the pond suddenly noticed Martin and pointed a finger at him. “Blessed be Saltina!” he said, his face beaming with relief. “The goddess sent us a champion to deliver our village from calamity!”
“Champion?” Martin repeated, only for half a dozen people to swarm him and grab his clothes with feverish hope in their eyes. “Hey!”
“Oh champion, please protect us from these foul creatures!” A woman among them implored him. “They have eaten my dog, and my baby!”
Martin was about to ask what creatures she was referring to, when he heard a screech coming from the hill.
A small group of five blistering, green-skinned creatures with wide, ungainly heads rushed down the slope at them. Martin mistook them for entertainers in costume at first, until he caught a glimpse of their wide crimson eyes and their purple tongues slipping through their sharp teeth. Their weapons ranged from swords to clubs and bows, and each weapon looked real enough. They reminded Martin of goblins and orcs from Lord of the Rings, but a bit too lifelike.
Those were real monsters, coming straight at him with murder on their mind.
“G-get back!” Martin shouted at them, his shotgun raised at the vanguard of the group. “Get back or I’ll… I’ll shoot! I swear I’ll shoot!”
They answered him with screeches and frothing snarls.
The blue screen appeared again in front of Martin’s eyes like an ominous reminder.
Warning: Failure to complete the starting gig will result in immediate contract termination.
Martin held his breath. So that was it, no way around it. He would have to stand his ground and–
Wait.
Contract.
He had landed an employment contract at long last.
The news dispelled all doubts from Martin’s mind. A deep sense of purpose suddenly filled him, stripping him away of all his hesitation.
He was no longer an unemployed human being despised by society. He had been reborn as an employee. The Homo Economicus, defender of the customers. He had become a chink in the great chain of capitalism. And it was his duty to ensure that these green things choked on it!
For the sake of his rent!
Channeling experience from countless video game runs, Martin raised his shotgun and blasted the closest goblin’s head off its shoulders. A ding noise echoed inside his skull once the bullet struck, followed by the sound of the goblin’s corpse hitting the ground.
Startled villagers stepped away from Martin in shock, but he was too taken aback by two details to care.
First of all, he knew how to shoot. Martin had never carried a firearm outside a video game, yet his body went through the motions like an experienced gunman. He simply understood how to use the weapon on an instinctual level.
Second, he had just killed a living creature. The blood and brain bits spilling all over the grassy ground more than attested to it, as did the obvious rage of its compatriots. They charged at him while swinging their swords and clubs like maniacs.
So Martin did the only sensible thing.
He screamed and started blasting.
He just ran forward and shot, without really bothering to aim. An arrow miraculously missed his neck and a sword grazed his employee shirt, with both of the goblins responsible soon turning into bloody intestine salsa in a shower of gore and gunpowder. Bones flew to the tune of gunshots and the villagers’ cheers.
When Martin finally ran out of ammo, he found himself standing in the middle of a puddle of blood and goblin body parts. Not a single greenskin had survived his rampage, though a bit of brain matter now stained his yellow shirt.
Well, that was easier than it looked!
Martin caught his breath as the rush of adrenaline receded, followed by the pride of a job well done and the drowning acclaim of the villagers.
“Champion!” They sang and clapped. “Champion! Champion! Champion-”
Their voices were deafening, but a thunderbolt striking from the blue sky above rang louder.
The lightning came out of nowhere and struck the pond, startling Martin and everyone else. The salty waters rose and swirled around the statue, transforming its pristine marble into flesh and silk. The effigy animated in front of everyone in the shape of the most beautiful woman Martin had ever seen. Her azure hair was undulated like the sea and her eyes glittered like sapphires. Her gilded robes and jewelry glowed brighter than the sun, while her chiseled salt crystal staff radiated authority. The very fabric of reality seemed to bend in her presence, space folding and rippling around her.
The villagers’ cheers turned into awed silence, with all of them kneeling before the strange woman all at once. Martin wondered if he was supposed to do the same when the lady’s gaze settled on him. He straightened up as she studied him, her soft lips moving to speak.
She uttered a single word.
“Mediocre!”
Martin stood still for a moment, as his brain struggled to process the word. “What?”
“You call that a rescue!” she all but screamed at him. “There’s blood all over my village, and a piece of bone landed in my sacred pond! Mediocre, ridiculous!”
Martin stared at this woman without a word, her illusion of divine regality stripped away in an instant.
“I won’t stand for this!” the shrieking fury raged on, her staff pointed at Martin’s face. “I want to talk to your manager!”
“My manager?” Martin asked. Did he even have one?
The blue screen reappeared the moment he uttered the word, its usual text replaced with a video feed. A tiger-faced humanoid appeared on the other end, its slitted eyes squinting in exhaustion.
“Dungeon Corp’s Buddyguard Standard Hero Delivery Support, what can I do for you Lady Saltina?” the stranger asked with the most deadpan, tired voice Martin had ever heard in his life. “Except refunds, of course.”
“I find your Buddyguard wanting!” the woman answered with a frown of rage. “I paid top mana for a dashing hero to protect my followers, and you sent me…” She waved her hand at Martin with the disgust of a noble glaring at a pile of horseshit. “This NEET!”
“Hey!” Martin protested. He had killed five creatures for money, didn’t that warrant congratulations? “I got the job done!”
“With a gun?!” The woman, apparently called ‘Saltina,’ spat the word with disgust. Martin suddenly recalled that the gig referred to her as the request’s customer. “A real hero ought to use a dashing sword, or a noble rapier!”
The tiger-faced man appeared as equally unimpressed as Martin himself. “From what I read, Milady, you subscribed to the minimum protection service,” the former said. “Which does not entitle you to refunds nor higher levels Buddyguards.”
“Entitle? Entitle?” The woman glared at the poor customer service representative. “Do you know who I am?! I am Saltina, an intermediate goddess adored by millions! I deserve nothing less than your best!”
“And you’ll get what you pay for,” the customer service representative replied calmly.
The so-called goddess snapped and shouted at the blue screen, demanding a refund or a higher-ranked manager to speak to, only to be denied both. Martin had already started zoning out of this conversation when another notification appeared in the corner of his gaze; the only kind that mattered.
Starting Gig: The Gobs Gotta Go, completed! You earned 100 Gig Credits plus a 500 prime from goblin slaying!
We’ll keep you!
All of Martin’s doubts vanished while he exhaled in relief and triumph. At long last, his year-long quest for steady employment had come to an end.
It wasn’t the job he had wanted, but the one he needed.
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Next Chapter
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A/N: aaaand that's the second choice. Pretty much an Isekai/System satire in the continuation of Apocalypse Tamer and Vainqueur the Dragon, with a pay-to-win/credits-based System ;) I'll give more info on the system and storyline with the poll tomorrow.
Comments
Julian Hinck
Homo Economicus had me dieing XD that was such a good joke !
Void Herald
Oups, good catch, edited!
Kody Ihnat
This one seems so much better to me. I miss the protagonists that don't think too much and just roll with the impossibly silly situations. And the NPCs that squish archetypes that don't go together. It's the style I most associate with you, and I really enjoy it. BTW his name changes from Martin to Thomas/Tom partway through. I think you forgot a find/replace some alt spellings.
Void Herald
Stars of Sirius will probably be offered in the next poll but it won't be before 2025.
Joseph Klos
Honestly both are promising, but the BC one feels more up my alley. I wouldn't mind either winning here though, or a revisit of that female protag with the policing ai suit
Void Herald
Yeah, I drew on RL experience for Martin's situation ;)
Void Herald
The link is a silly in-joke. As for the System Admin stuff, it'll be explored much later since it is indeed one of the jobs/duties in Dungeon Corp; but since Martin is a new hire, it'll be a time before he gets to work on those tasks ;)
Jonas
Both sound extremely funny hard to decide
mhaj58
I’m exactly where this guy is right now. I’m bouncing between interviews and applications looking for a decent job. I’ve saved up a little bit but life without income is incredibly stressful
Rain
"A family that won't miss you." Oof. Is the link supposed to be your patreon? I get it's supposed to be unreadable, but is that a placeholder or something? Or is it just supposed to be meta? Hmm. Seems kind of soul-crushing in general. Gives a more mercenary feeling than most litRPG somehow. I hope you don't mind me saying that from the setup, I was kind of excited for a story about being something like a System Admin. Writing the blue boxes, sending people quests, checking out system errors, giving people specific abilities. That sort of thing. This seems like it would be fun, but I'm thinking I'll probably vote for the other one.
RepossessedSoul
This is way better than the other one. I don't know what it is but the other one just seems too much too quick but also somehow not really grabbing me. This story has humor and gives us godly Karen's, which is hilarious.
Meoeu
This seems like a lot of fun and a breath of fresh air
