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Board & Conquest 42: Family Feud
🕑 Added 2025-04-01 08:02:45 +0000 UTC-------
Goddamn dragons!
Wepwawet knew he should have put Insupportable on ice when he had the chance! He had barely left that lizard unattended for a few hours to focus on building up Narc’s defenses, and all it earned him was a diplomatic incident!
At least capturing that Princess Topaz finally forced Pele’s hand. Their overlapping Influences allowed Wepwawet to create a direct line of discussion with her after his neighbor refused all past attempts at communication—including Axomamma’s mediation.
He thus found himself facing Pele in Miss Athena’s classroom, his rival crossing her arms and glaring back at him. Wepwawet arrived open to diplomatic solutions… until Pele opened her mouth.
“Miss Athena, Wepwawet violated the truce!” she said, pointing at him as if he were a disloyal Champion, her personal Judas. “He issued a dragon-strike at my border and kidnapped one of my Champions!”
The audacity of this… this… Wepwawet couldn’t say bitch because he was a wolf-faced deity, so he struggled a bit to find the right name. This second-rate hula dancer!
“You violated the truce first!” Wepwawet protested. “You sent magmorians to raid across my borders, threatened me with an ultimatum, and now gather an army at my doorstep!”
“But you recruited a dragon! A dragon, and you unleashed it against my princess! It’s a gross escalation that might lead us to World War Elphion!”
“I gave you every opportunity to de-escalate, yet you blew me off each time!”
“I’m just trying to protect the magmorian minorities on the border from wereling supremacist aggressions,” Pele lied. Badly. “Only the creation of a demilitarized buffer zone—under magmorian control of course—between our population centers can ensure lasting peace–”
“Pele.” Miss Athena never raised her voice, but the slight inflection in her tone was enough to silence her student. “Enough.”
Wepwawet glared at Pele as she crossed her arms and pouted. All illusions that he might have had about her lack of malice had been instantly dispelled. She was dead-set on causing him issues.
Thankfully, Miss Athena thought the same. “I have extensively reviewed the logs of your activities on Elphion, and I find no mention of wereling raids on magmorian holdings,” she said, a system screen appearing and showing a detailed record of all border incidents. “All evidence points to Lavaland repeatedly showcasing naked aggression towards Verglane, both before and after your arrival on Elphion.”
“It’s preemptive self-defense,” Pele said without shame.
“From what, winter?!” Wepwawet snapped back. “If anything, you should be thanking me for serving as a buffer between Beelzebub and you!”
“Is that supposed to impress me?” Pele sneered. “You swatted a fat fly, big deal!”
“Your civilization’s acts of hostility towards Wepwawet’s, both diplomatically and military-wise, does not paint a good picture of your mortal leadership,” Miss Athena replied sternly. “Harassing a classmate’s rear while they are confronting a titan infiltrator could be taken for active complicity and lead to your immediate suspension.”
This finally caused Pele distress, much to Wepwawet’s immense joy. “No!” she protested. “I swear I didn’t…” She clenched her jaw. “I-I swear that I would have stepped in if he had messed up!”
“Would you have?” Miss Athena asked so calmly that Wepwawet could barely notice the hint of judgment in her voice. “While I am not supposed to interfere directly with your actions on Elphion, I do confess that they baffle me. Wepwawet has already offered you access to the only resource that your people need to prosper and conquering Verglane serves no material benefit.”
“I need Verglane, Miss Athena!” Pele protested. “It’s my dowry!”
“I can't believe it…” Wepwawet muttered under his breath. However much Ganesha had warned him, he still hoped Pele had a better motive. “You’re doing all this because you… because…” His jaw clenched so hard his fangs cracked. “Because you want to shag a pigeon?!”
“You take that back!” Pele snapped back. “That falcon is shredded, I’ll have you know! I’ve got pictures of him leaving his shower, and he’s got the full eight-pack package!”
Wepwawet blinked. “You took a picture of Horus walking out of the shower?”
“A gal must thoroughly investigate her meal ticket’s private life!” The worst part was that Pele sounded quite proud of it. “It wasn’t enough for him to be rich, brave, noble, and handsome. I needed to make sure he was well-endowed too.”
She is so much worse than I thought, Wepwawet thought. Even Miss Athena looked slightly unnerved by Pele’s behavior. No wonder she chose Jasper as a Champion…
“I can’t believe you’re vapid enough to throw your civilization into the meat-grinder for a boy,” Wepwawet complained. “This is Trojan War levels of pettiness. Sorry, Miss Athena.”
“It is a fair point,” Miss Athena replied with a heavy sigh. “I will confess that it was not our Pantheon’s proudest hour.”
“Who are you calling vapid?” Pele snorted. “Don’t look at me like that! I would have been totally fine wooing him after graduation, but my pantheon put a mana gun to my head! I’m too fun and popular to become poor, plus it would hurt my prospects. It’s just business.”
“So you’re throwing your people under the magic bus for an allowance?” Wepwawet could hardly contain his disgust. “That’s despicable!”
“Hey, of course I’m also doing it for my people’s own good.”
“By forcing them into a pointless war they don’t need?!”
“For a god of scouting, you don’t see far ahead,” Pele replied with a snort. “Sure it’ll hurt my worshipers in the short-term, but in the long run? In the long run, it will cement them as Elphion’s most prosperous civilization! Your Verglane is right between my nation and that of Horus’. Once we’ve conquered your territory, we can start linking up our territories and integrate our economies! We’ll rule Elphion and the classroom as the ultimate school power couple!”
“That’s…” Wepwawet frowned. “That’s not possible. The only civilizations bordering my lands are Axomamma’s and Ganesha’s. I’m sandwiched between the three of you and the sea.”
Pele smirked smugly at him. The ass clearly took pride in knowing something he didn’t.
She can’t imply… Wepwawet looked back to when he first arrived on Elphion. While most nations were part of a single supercontinent, he did recall a large island to the east. Huh, that’s the sea people all over again…
“I have a question for you, Pele,” Miss Athena said. “Who told you that Horus needed a dowry in the first place? I do not believe him to be the kind of god to ask for one as a preliminary condition to a marriage alliance, and I suspect he does not care about romance in the slightest. He certainly has shown no interest in Verglane so far, nor any land beyond his own.”
Pele shifted in her seat, which confused Wepwawet. “You didn’t tell Horus?” he guessed, his mind baffled at his fellow deity’s amateurism. “You’re attacking me for the sake of a plan you aren’t even sure will yield results?”
“Of course I know it will work!” Pele protested, though she refused to explain why. “I’ve received… assurances.”
Miss Athena appraised her for a moment before summoning a system screen and sending a call of some sort. “Come in, both of you. You too, Horus.”
Wepwawet’s mother and aunt teleported into the classroom in a flash of light alongside his cousin.
The sisters Isis and Nephthys, goddesses of magic and funerary rites respectively, were born twins and so physically similar that most would easily mistake one for the other were it not for their radically different choice of clothing. Aunt Isis always favored majestic golden hair dresses and white robes with gilded wings that showcased her status as one of Egypt’s most popular goddesses, whereas her humbler sister preferred more moderate jewelry and black gowns. They otherwise looked almost identical as elegant goddesses with long black hair darker than obsidian and blue eyes shining with the brightness of stars—in fact, their physical resemblance led to the deadly family feud between their respective husbands.
Wepwawet himself never had any trouble telling them apart from one very simple fact: his mother Nephthys always greeted him with a smile of affection, and his aunt with a glare of disgust. This didn’t change today.
“Mom!” Wepwawet waved at her with a big grin. “I won two Godly Battles, two!”
“So I’m told, my pup,” his mom said with a kind smile. “You did admirably well so far. Your brother and I are so very proud of you.”
“Pfft, brother Anubis is too easily impressed for his own good,” Horus snorted.
“Not messing up before a Titan Incursion should be the minimum required,” Aunt Isis replied dismissively. Aunt Isis never found anything her nephew did impressive.
“Oh, really?” Wepwawet glared at that bastard Horus. “And what did you achieve on your own, windshield-fucker?”
“You think such insults will affect someone who flies so high above you?” Horus looked at his talons in disdain. “I will tell you that I have collected eight Altars and thirty Champions, smashing all previous academic records!”
Wepwawet choked. “Thirty Champions?”
“You just have to look in the tall grass and they pop up on their own!” Horus boasted. “Easy peasy.”
“He’s so cool…” Pele giggled under her breath, much to Wepwawet’s annoyance.
“Enough,” Miss Athena said, silencing everyone. “Nephthys, Isis, thank you both for coming. Considering the subject matter, I thought you should both be present.”
“You are welcome, Athena,” Nephthys said as she took a seat next to her son. “I assume we are here to discuss the titan interference in the class project?”
“I don’t see what this has to do with my son and I,” Aunt Isis said.
“You are here today because I know you sabotaged the Elphion System, Isis,” Miss Athena replied calmly. “On top of attacking my student Wepwawet, and setting up another of his classmates against him.”
A long, tense silence followed Miss Athena’s declaration. Everyone’s gaze shifted from one person to the next as her words sank in.
“You…” Wepwawet put two and two together, though he still struggled to believe it. “You’re the goddess I fought at Icefall, Aunt Isis?”
His aunt kept a stony face. “I have no idea what you are talking about, my nephew.”
“You were one of the senior goddesses involved in casting the System spell for Elphion, and after reviewing its logs many times, I am convinced that the backdoor which Beelzebub used to infiltrate and sabotage it was indeed your creation.” Miss Athena showed the twin goddesses a screen filled with ancient rune scripts. “I have now confirmed that you also worked behind the scenes to set my students against each other, not to mention that the unregistered living Idol used to attack Wepwawet included some of your spells woven into the frame.”
Wepwawet didn’t understand half of the symbols shown on the screen, but he assumed they detailed the Elphion System Spell and its interaction logs. Whereas his aunt kept a stone-faced expression, his mother’s eyes now widened with cold fury.
The reaction that surprised him the most, however, was Horus’. Wepwawet’s rival stared at Aunt Isis with a livid, shocked look on his face.
He didn’t know? Wepwawet realized. Either his cousin was the best actor he had ever met, or he was as clueless as Wepwawet himself. He didn’t know.
“You stand accused of cooperating with the Titanomachy to sabotage a newborn world and interfering in a class’ graduation project, both of which are capital offenses worthy of penalties ranging from mana deprivation to being sealed away,” Miss Athena informed Isis. “What do you have to say in your defense?”
Wepwawet could hardly believe his ears. Mana deprivation meant a god was cut off from their pantheon’s shared energy pool—drastically reducing their power, mortal following, and influence—and sealing sentences could last eons. Either sentence spelled social death for any Nexus deity.
Aunt Isis’ jaw clenched, though the evidence must have been overwhelming enough to force her to confess. “I swear on Ra’s secret name that I’ve never cooperated with the Titanomachy, and that my son was never informed of anything I did. I am willing to fully cooperate and bear any consequences so long as he remains out of this.”
“Your bargaining position is highly dubious, Isis, and any lie will be held against you during your trial,” Miss Athena replied sternly. “Did you, or did you not, create a backdoor in the Elphion System?”
“I did,” Isis confessed, much to everyone’s horror. “My plan was solely to temporarily interrupt the Nexus connection in the early weeks of the project, saddle Wepwawet with the weakest available civilization, and then ambush him with a living Idol I had installed on the planet before he could recuperate.”
“Weak?! Verglane isn’t weak!” Wepwawet protested in his fury. However proud he felt of besting an older deity in a fight, the betrayal still stung. He had never done anything to anger his aunt besides existing. “My people were strong enough to kick your ass!”
“Verglane was considered the hardest civilization to start with for a new deity due to its fragmented leadership, relative lack of natural resources, lower ranked population, and other factors,” Miss Athena stated. “Which makes your achievements and those of your worshipers all the more impressive, Young Wepwawet.”
“You tried to harm my son, sister?” Nephthys rarely showed anger, and when she did so, it was always colder than the cruelest winter. “Your own nephew?”
“Give me a break, he would have reformed eventually,” Isis replied dismissively, which only incensed her other family members. “I only needed him out of the picture long after my son inherited Grandpa Ra’s charge.”
Horus punched his desk with such force that it cracked, startling everyone. His eyes burned with fury. “How many times do I have to tell you, Mother?! I don’t need your help!”
“Can’t win by yourself, mommy’s boy?!” Wepwawet taunted him.
“Silence!” Horus raised a finger at his cousin. “I don’t need anybody’s help to crush you, and I can prove it! I’ll take you on in a Godly Battle right here and now!”
“Bring it, bird-face!”
“There shall be no such fight,” Miss Athena said, putting an end to it immediately. “Isis, what is your connection to Beelzebub? Did you invite him to Elphion?”
“Of course not!” Isis protested. “I told you, I never cooperated with the Titanomachy! I only intended to take my nephew out of the competition and then disappear quietly, but Baal kept my System spell’s blueprints from the days back when our pantheon cooperated with the Assyrians!”
“Which he used to curtain the information we received from that world to hide, hijack its thirteenth civilization, and change the System from the standard version to a real-time one among other alterations,” Miss Athena guessed, her fair face twisting into a scowl of condemnation. “None of which he could have achieved without your actions.”
“This is a serious matter, sister,” Nephthys said. “We are extremely lucky the backdoor limited Beelzebub’s access, or the titans might have taken full control of the Elphion System by now.”
“We are still assessing the damage caused to the Elphion System, which will no doubt affect the coming Titan Incursions,” Miss Athena concluded before moving on to the final offense. “Finally… Did you tell my student Pele that you would arrange a marriage with your son Horus if she attacked Wepwawet’s civilization?”
Wepwawet glanced at Pele, who—ironically for a fiery volcano goddess—tried her very best to sink into her chair and be forgotten. Oh my gods…
“What the…” Horus sounded more puzzled than anything before returning to glaring as his mother. “The hell?! I don’t even know her!”
“We would have learned to get along once our civilizations joined up,” Pele replied under her breath.
“She’s a good partner, my son,” Isis added. “Both in the context of Elphion and inter-pantheon politics.”
“But I didn’t agree to this!” Horus protested.
“I am extremely disappointed in you, sister,” Nephthys scolded Aunt Isis. “I would have expected my ex-husband to obsess over that overdone dispute, but you? Shouldn’t you know better and leave my son out of this? Horus’ place as heir was all but secured.”
“I had no choice!” Isis defended herself. “Why do you think Set insisted on my son’s transfer to this class? I received serious reports from multiple credible sources that he intended to send assassins and sabotage the competition on his son’s behalf! I had to do something!”
“I have seen no indication that Set interfered in any way with this classroom, besides pushing for Horus’ transfer,” Miss Athena countered.
“Maybe they’re laying low or waiting for their chance to strike, but I know Set is plotting something!” Aunt Isis insisted as she turned to Nephthys. “Do you want your ex whispering in your son’s ear, sister?! Set emasculated my husband and tried to kill my son, your own nephew!”
“The same way you tried to harm yours?” Nephthys asked icily.
That shut up Aunt Isis, but only for a short time. “The difference is that I did it for the good of the pantheon.”
Miss Athena didn’t look impressed in the slightest. “Your dynastic disputes have no place in my classroom nor on Elphion, Isis. Nothing indicates that your son was complicit in your scheming yet based on your testimony and other circumstantial evidence, so I will not expel Horus.”
Wepwawet clenched his jaw. He couldn’t be certain whether or not Horus had been kept in the dark about his mother’s scheming, and even if he wasn’t, he certainly profited from it. Shouldn’t there be consequences?
“However,” Miss Athena said, her words sharper than an executioner’s sword, “The Board of Education and Headmaster Jesus will be informed of your actions, and all your System-related privileges will be suspended pending their decision. Lord Ra will also be sent a detailed report of your conduct and decide any additional punishment, if any.”
“You can’t do that!” Isis protested, her eyes suddenly wide with fear. “If you do, then that snake Set will poison Lord Ra’s ear and build a case against my son’s claim to the throne!”
“Then you should have had more faith in your son’s ability to prove himself on his own,” Miss Athena replied without a care in the world. “And if you interfere with Elphion again in any way, shape, or form, then I will disqualify your son and have him repeat the year.”
Wepwawet and Pele gasped, the former in joy, the latter in despair.
“What?!” Horus jumped out of his seat. “But I haven’t done anything! This is unjust!”
“I believe you, young Horus,” Miss Athena replied kindly. “Yet the fact remains that you indirectly benefited from your mother’s actions against your more immediate rival and that Isis may have taken steps to have her allies continue interfering should she be discovered. This is the only way she will listen.”
“I protest!” Isis said. “I want to see the Headmaster right now!”
“Very well.” Miss Athena turned to her students. “Young Pele, young Wepwawet, I please ask that you diplomatically settle your dispute and avoid any large engagement until the Titan Incursion. Young Horus, we will settle your case with the proper authorities now.”
Horus clenched his fists in righteous anger, but had little choice other than to nod sharply and go along. He, Isis, and Miss Athena then teleported away.
“So…” Pele forced herself to smile and raised her two thumbs up at Wepwawet. “I’m glad this was all a misunderstanding!”
Wepwawet closed his eyes, took a long deep breath, and then let out a sigh of pure annoyance. “Just… just go home and call off your troops, Pele.”
To her credit, his classmate looked deeply embarrassed when she left the classroom for Elphion. Wepwawet then found himself alone with his mother.
“Your father will become unbearable once he learns of this,” Nephthys warned her son. “You should mentally prepare yourself for it, my pup.”
“What’s going to happen?” Wepwawet asked his mother. He was happy to know Horus and Isis wouldn’t get away with this mess scott free, but he had the intuition his family’s status among the Nexus’ pantheons would soon change drastically.
His mother pondered the question a moment before answering it. “Knowing your father and the lethal ammunition my sister just handed him, it is likely that Grandpa Ra will put Horus’ heirship in question. He has always been more favorable to our side of the family and only relented on that particular issue because the other gods forced his hand.”
“Y-you think I could become Grandpa Ra’s heir?”
His mother met his gaze. “Do you want to be his heir, my pup?”
“I… I don’t know,” Wepwawet replied. His father would love it, but he didn’t think he had it in him to live up to Grandpa Ra’s leadership and responsibilities. “I… I never thought I could be in line for the throne.”
The truth was that the situation had escalated beyond anything he imagined. As much as Wepwawet wanted to impress his father and stick it to Horus, being cast into the center of his pantheon’s feuds didn’t sit well with him. The fact that his aunt took the matter seriously enough to try and sabotage his graduation didn’t bode well for the future, even if it meant endangering an entire mortal world. He didn’t think Horus and his supporters would stop bothering him either.
It all sounded so big to him.
His mother nodded in understanding. She had chosen to approach his education with a light touch—unlike his dad’s heavy-handed advice—and encouraged him to choose his own path, so she rarely intervened outside of her custody days.
“Grandpa Ra won’t reach a decision for some time, so we have time to think this through,” his mother reassured him. “Should you wish to enter the kingship competition, then I will do anything in my power to support your bid; but only if you seek it for yourself and not because your father forced you to. I will support you whatever choice you pick, my pup.”
“Thank you, Mom,” Wepwawet replied as he hugged his mother. “It’s, uh… it’s a lot to think through.”
“Take your time. I will always answer your call if you need advice or a sounding board.”
“I… I think I’ll take you up on that offer soon,” Wepwawet replied with a small nod. “I just need some time to clear my head.”
“Of course, my pup,” his mother said with one last hug. “Be safe.”
Wepwawet nodded and then returned back to Elphion with many thoughts on his mind. However relieved he felt he wouldn’t need to deal with Aunt Isis’ machinations and that he might reach a peaceful resolution to the Lavaland dispute, he now had a new problem to deal with.
If Pele hadn’t lied about him and Horus sharing a border, then he would better start fortifying it soon.
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A/N: yup, it's a stormy day in the Heavens.
Otherwise, as warned in the patreon update post, I'll be on a break next week to focus on a very important TPR game-related work trip, so there won't be chapters on April 7th to 13th. Updates will continue as usual until this Saturday.
Comments
George R
Great chapter
Void Herald
When they say, "Oh Christ" they mean it literally ;)
Jordan Lopez
The meme "I'll send you the Jesus" just got a whole new meaning lol
