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Board & Conquest 61: Deer Hunt
🕑 Added 2025-05-22 08:48:14 +0000 UTC-----
A great sigh echoed across all of Verglane’s Altars.
Wepwawet had been checking up on his Champions’ Dungeon expedition through their senses in case they needed his guidance; a suspicion which proved correct once shifting walls split the party apart across the castle. That kind of mess happened all the time with mortals and especially with adventurers.
This one took him aback, though.
“Who are you people?” Rapoleon asked the kobolds. “What is this… this farce?!”
“It’s not a farce, it’s Furiland! The multiverse’s premier dungeon resort chain and a branch of DungeonCorp!” the golden kobold said. Viviane had forced him and the rest of his comrades to gather in a corner of the room at bowpoint. “What, you think mysterious castles or abandoned ruins full of treasures just appear out of nowhere?”
“Wait, so this is all fake?” Viviane asked before putting two and two together. “You’re the ones who spread the hidden treasure rumors!”
“Is there even a real treasure in this place?” Rapoleon inquired.
“That’s the genius part!” the golden kobold boasted. “The loot of dead adventurers pays for the treasures the living ones find, so the survivors provide free advertising! So long as we keep a ratio of nine dead adventurers to one living customer, we can remain afloat and profitable!”
Wepwawet could feel the sheer disbelief coursing through Rapoleon’s mind. His disappointment was palpable.
“You… you built a magical castle full of cutting-edge technological wonders and sorcery, crafted a false legend…” The wererat’s tongue clicked in his mouth. “All so you could run a pyramid scheme?”
“It’s a perfectly valid business model!” the golden kobold protested.
You’re the kind of people who give pyramids a bad name! Wepwawet thought with annoyance. My family’s work shouldn’t be associated with financial fraud because of you!
“So the wendigo howls we heard were fake too?” Viviane asked.
“Oh no, the wendies are very real.” The golden kobold gulped. “We’ve, uh… we’ve been trying to rid ourselves of them for years after they ate half the staff and most of our other hired monsters, or at least find a way to profit from them. We’ve failed to do either.”
“I still say windies would have been a cuter and more thematic nickname,” the silver kobold complained.
“Shut up, Stagiaire! Nobody cares about your opinion!” His superior snapped before calming down. “I admit cannibalistic cursed giants aren’t very marketable though…”
Wepwawet had heard enough and telepathically contacted both of his Champions. “Rapoleon, the device at the center of this room seems to draw mana from the leyline and should let me raise my Altar. I’ll deal with these DungeonCorp fools after you claim it.”
The wererat showed no hint that he had heard the telepathic command, though he quickly answered with a thought of his own. “Do you know these hacks?”
“Unfortunately, I do.” Extraplanar companies and invaders were dime a dozen across the infinite multiverse, with gods often subcontracting them to run tutorials for the occasional incoming planar calamity, set up training Dungeons, or recruit mercenary Champions during specific events. “Imagine millions of Jarlacks spread across countless worlds, working together to extract as much profit as they can from unsuspecting locals, except that they have no safety standards of any kind and can’t see anything past the next financial quarter.”
You would think an interplanar organization with cutting-edge magic would outgrow the need for money, but no. Greed was a multiversal constant.
Viviane marked a short pause before telepathically answering, “That’s a scary thought.”
“There are other worlds beyond our own?” Rapoleon asked, more confused about that part. “These kobolds are aliens?”
“Not exactly, but they’re certainly not supposed to be here,” Wepwawet replied. Interplanar organizations were patently rare on newborn worlds like Elphion because those weren’t ready to integrate with the wider interdimensional community. The Pantheons would have spotted their presence on this planet and kicked them off under normal circumstances, so Wepwawet guessed he had to thank the Titans’ sabotage for this mess.
Rapoleon followed through with the order and touched the central engine. Being a Commander, he immediately allowed Wepwawet to claim the leyline locus as his own. The mana crystal at the core of the Dungeon shone and swiftly reshaped itself into a small statue of Wepwawet integrated into the machinery.
He learned a few things about the area the second he claimed it. First of all, the Dungeon was indeed ‘alive’—the same way a particularly large golem would be. The core was hidden deeper in its depths and drained part of the mana locus to generate more rooms, much like the Terraformers.
Secondly, a cursed presence hung over the castle and prevented him from fully claiming the region as his own. Wepwawet blamed the wendigos, whose persistent evil poisoned the building with malevolence. He would have to rid the Dungeon of these creatures if he hoped to fully secure it.
Nonetheless, his Influence expanded across the region and finally let him claim all of Verglane’s Altars.
Quest: Land of the Faithful III, completed! You have earned the Maze Shift Rank 10 Animism Miracle!
Maze Shift
Rank 10 Animism
You can change the layout of any artificial structure within your Influence; this includes any form of building, and also modified natural areas such as mines or bunkers.
Oh, now that would synergize well with his Providence! He quickly switched it with his last copy of Sacred Beast just in time to receive a new Quest.
New Quest: Land of the Faithful IV
Claim at least eight Altars beyond your starting civilization’s borders.
Reward: Animism Miracle.
Well, that one would be something to work on later.
“You guys are Champions?” the golden Kobold—whose name was apparently Sir of all things, according to Wepwawet’s Providence—immediately protested. “Wait, you can’t nationalize our Dungeon resort! That’s economic expropriation!”
“You settled this land without an official permit or licence,” Wepwawet retorted through the Altar. “Your company and I are going to have a talk after we clean up your mess.”
His first order of business would be to ensure his followers’ safety and secure the site. On one hand, Wepwawet sensed a few potential Champions within his expanded Influence’s range, including one of the local monsters and even the castle itself.
On the other hand… Wepwawet had to recheck his Providence readings to confirm the number of wendigos in the castle.
Uh oh.
“Drop the barrier keeping Insupportable out and prepare for battle,” Wepwawet ordered everyone as he immediately began to cast offensive Miracles. Calling upon that dragon would usually be an emergency, but he had little choice left. “We’ll have a fight on our hands.”
Rapoleon was the first to catch on to the seriousness of the situation and guess its likely cause. “How many wendigos are there in this castle?”
“More than you think.” Wepwawet’s jaw clenched in alarm as he telepathically contacted his other Champions. “More than you think.”
—--------
His chief of staff was late for his claw-clipping!
It didn’t come as a surprise when the cursed barrier of Neigebleue Castle finally went down. Insupportable had never doubted that his loyal and loving minion Bernard would succeed in this endeavor; what bothered him was that the yeti had taken over an hour—an entire hour, seventy minutes and eighty-three seconds! Insupportable had counted inside his head!
He already knew who to blame for this fiasco; that sorry excuse for a dragon called Soumis had no doubt messed up somewhere, perhaps even corrupted his innocent minion with his deviant ideas! Insupportable had immediately entered the castle to ensure his trusty Bernard would not fall under such a bad influence!
Or at least, that had been the plan until he caught a whiff of a precious treasure, after which he couldn’t help himself. He had smashed through all the walls in his way until he reached his destination.
And then he found Soumis serving one of the most beautiful creatures Insupportable had ever seen.
The frost dragon couldn’t believe his own eyes when he crashed into the salon. That vile Soumis was sitting at a table with a living treasure—a beautiful, smiling chest clothed like a true princess—with his vile claws carefully holding a small teapot and pouring its contents into the innocent creature’s teacup. Like a butler.
Like a minion.
“Step away from the princess, you minionphile!” Insupportable snarled, his roar cracking the windows and startling Soumis. “You’re spoiling her rotten!”
“Soumis saw her first!” the red dragon defended himself. “Find your own princess!”
“Princess Treasure!” the innocent chest said while waving a tentacle at Insupportable. Her untainted, pure, and innocent soul shone through her toothy smile. “I princess! I treasure! I Princess Treasure! I eat cake and drink tea!”
“Dragons don’t serve tea to princesses!” Insupportable snapped at Soumis as he squeezed his way into the salon. Part of the ceiling collapsed on his wings, but he was too pissed to care. “That’s a minion’s job! You can’t let them expect this of us, no matter how cute they are!”
“Soumis is building a rapport with his new princess!” Soumis protested. “She will mount my hoard, and Lady Victoire will mount my back!”
“Victoire?!” Insupportable choked in outrage. He had lost interest in her now that he could smell richer breeds of princesses, but knowing another dragon coveted her aroused his competitive spirit. “You thief, she is mine! I saw her first!”
“But she chose Soumis!” Soumis replied. “She said she would mount Soumis’ back if he returned her castle to her!”
“Victoire would never do that to me!” Insupportable snapped back. “We have a special relationship developed over many abductions, and she would never fool around with another dragon! She would still be on my hoard today if not for those pesky Glarmes knights constantly taking her away!”
Soumis squinted at Insupportable, which the latter hated. He had the horrible impression of being judged. “She always fled with them?”
“She’s just playing hard to get!” Which was what made her irresistible to Insupportable in the first place. “She knows you’re easy, so she barely puts in any effort!”
“But she never told you she would be your princess,” Soumis replied, his dumb face twisting into a smug smirk. “Soumis thinks your hoard wasn’t big enough for Princess Victoire.”
The noise of shattering glass echoed inside Insupportable’s head; the terrible sound of insecurity. “What… what did you say?”
“Soumis thinks Lady Victoire kept getting away from you because you weren’t dragon enough to satisfy her monetarily.” Soumis gently put the teacup back onto the table with a sly smirk on his face. “Soumis thinks she was fooling around, looking for a richer dragon worthy of her princessness.”
Insupportable’s jaw tightened to the tune of cracking ice. There was no way… his hoard was the biggest in the northern realms, the envy of all, and he had a god for a minion! He was the bestest dragon in Verglane, nay, the world! There was no place for doubt in his mind!
But still, did… Did Victoire truly agree to two-time him? Had he truly been blind to her needs? It was true he had neglected her after his nose grew more refined, but surely their shared past counted for something! Soumis was just messing with his head.
“I won’t be lectured on princessness by a filthy drakeblood,” Insupportable said.
Soumis’ eyes snapped open with steaming anger. “You take that back!”
“Princess Treasure feeling cold…” the princess complained, though none of the dragons paid any attention.
“Oh, true, drakes don’t let themselves be mounted,” Insupportable replied with a smirk. “You…”
Insupportable leaned in to better spit the truth on his rival.
“You are a wyvern.”
Soumis gasped in horror at this undeniable truth. His gaze shifted from fear and then anger, his head surging forward to lock horns with Insupportable. The frost dragon met the challenge head on, skull to skull, with the full weight of his immense intellect behind each blow!
“You’re so mean!” Soumis complained. “That’s why your princess abandoned you!”
“You are so easy, you let your princesses mount you for free!” Insupportable snarled back. Both dragons fought with all their strength, their tails cracking the walls, but neither could break the stalemate. “You aren’t even getting paid for demeaning yourse–”
Crying interrupted the duel.
Dragons were intuitively attuned to a princess’ cries, so the two rivals immediately stopped their headbutting competition to glance at their prize. Princess Treasure cowered at their feet, her only eye unleashing a constant flow of tears.
“Now look at what you’ve done!” Insupportable immediately blamed Soumis. “You made her cry!”
“Soumis is sorry…” the red dragon apologized. While undragonly, Insupportable did not stop him as he leaned down and patted the princess on her chest-head to calm her down. “Soumis didn’t mean to scare you…”
Princess Treasure didn’t calm down. She continued to cry, her eye glancing at the tunnel which the dragons had opened up on her way to her beautiful salon. Insupportable wondered why she wouldn’t calm down until he realized that those weren’t tears of sorrow she shed.
Those were tears of fear.
Only then did Insupportable notice the chill in the air. He was used to the cold, so he had barely paid attention, but Princess Treasure’s tears were turning to ice before they even hit the ground. The formerly hot tea had frozen in place, and a thin layer of rime now covered the windows. A chilling wind flowed from the entrance alongside light steps.
Insupportable turned his head to find a hideous creature staring back at him.
The monster sneaking into the salon had the skeletal head of an elk with jagged teeth, sharp antlers that ended in icicles, and crimson eyes gleaming with hunger. Its humanoid body was emaciated and covered in bloodstained fur, with blackened hands and feet with claws almost as sharp as Insupportable's own. It crawled on all fours without a word and hardly a sound, even though the wind appeared to dance around it.
That…
That was a big deer.
It was almost as tall as minion Jarlack; not quite large enough to match a true dragon, but close. It leaned down like a feline ready to pounce, its gaze lingering on poor Princess Treasure with otherworldly hunger.
“Back off from my princess!” Insupportable’s blood quickened in his veins, his previous enmity with his fellow dragon forgotten in the face of a threat to true royalty.
“You shall not lay a claw on her!” Soumis said as he immediately moved to shield Princess Treasure with his body. “Soumis won’t let anyone take another princess from him!”
The deer proved too dim to back off in the face of not one, but two dragons. It continued to stare at them, waiting…
Another pair of eyes appeared in the dark behind it, followed by a third.
Insupportable tensed up when two more monsters crawled out from behind the first like a pack of ravenous wolves. A dragon didn’t feel fear—could not feel fear—but the pressure in the air grew stronger. Both sides stared at each other, waiting for one to make the first move.
Minion Wepwawet’s voice suddenly echoed inside Insupportable’s mind. “Insupportable, take the princess and retreat. I’m sending reinforcements–”
“Retreat?!” As much as Insupportable was glad that his servant had finally learned the gift of telepathy—so the dragon could project his demands as soon as he thought of them—that kind of demand was absurd. He had never lost a fight, even though that hydraslime creature pushed him to his limits. “A dragon does not retreat!”
And to prove it, he unleashed his breath at the deer trio!
A mighty gust of wind erupted across the salon in response out of nowhere and pushed back his trusty ice. The deer suddenly pounced all at once in response, while the sound of thunder echoed in the distance. A lightning bolt smote one of the monsters and briefly stunned it, but the two others closed the gap between the two groups in an instant and tackled Insupportable with immense strength. The dragon had wrestled with stronger foes, but their sheer ferocity and the momentum behind them took him aback.
They crashed through the salon and the back wall alike.
Insupportable and his two opponents fell into a vast courtyard outside and landed on a floor of cold stone, smashing a set of old gallows under their shared weight. The dragon hardly felt the impact through his scales, but he did feel the power of one of the deer’s fists reverberate through his skull.
Insupportable responded by punching one of them across the courtyard and unleashing his icy breath at the second. To his horror, his beautiful attack slid off the deer’s fur and bones like water on a turtle. He powered through it and then attempted to gut Insupportable with his antlers. The dragon caught them with his bare hands before they could reach his pristine scales.
“Wendigos are immune to Frost! Immune!” Minion Wepwawet urged in his beloved dragon master’s head as he struggled to push back the deer. “Use your fangs and claws!”
Couldn’t he have said that in the first place?! Insupportable would punish him with silence for days on end once he had prevailed today!
Nonetheless, Insupportable took his minion’s advice and switched from breathing ice at the deer to pivoting and flinging it across the courtyard. It crashed against its fellow elk-faced creature while a fiery explosion rocked the upper floor from which they had fallen from. Insupportable could only hope that the incapable Soumis could protect the princess long enough for a real dragon to save the day!
“Above you!” Minion Wepwawet warned him.
Insupportable looked up and briefly blinked in surprise.
The wide courtyard provided a wide view of the cursed castle’s looming walls and towers. The shadows of more of those skeletal deer loomed over them all, stepping out of shadows, crawling from atop walls, standing on battlements. Insupportable counted five, six, seven, eight, and more.
An entire herd had come, and Insupportable could only respond to the challenge one way.
The dragon way.
“Come at me, if you dare!” Insupportable expanded his wings and roared to the sky. “Tonight, I dine on elk soup and roasted deer!”
------
Comments
Thisul Mendis
Thanks for the chapter!
George R
Great chapter loved the dragons
Pride
DungeonCorp mentioned! Furibon’s really moving up in the multiverse!
Shakyamunie
You know... Maybe Wepy is on the right, but insanly painful, track with Dragons : if leveling them up can indeed grant them more intelligence that might be the way to having them being borderline aware of the world? Also. How many seconds does Insupportable thinks a minutes has???
Julie Hong
Omg the mimic princess has me rolling on the floor
Void Herald
Edited, thanks ;)
Vik M.
I really really hope Princess Treasure is a champion. She deserves to have a full draconic harem for not immediately trying to kill and consume Soumo when he was pulled in by her allure.
Vik M.
Insupportable leaned on to better spit the truth on his rival. (Change "on" to "in") It crashed against its fellow elf-faced creature while a fiery explosion rocked the upper floor from which they had fallen from. (Change "elf-faced" to "elk-faced")
john
Odin will be proud if he hears Insupportable's declaration
gostsamo
that's the idea, I think. there was a reason for the dragon non prolifiration policy of the gods.
Joel Magnuson
I LOVE the dragon interplay, though I will admit between their intelligence and ego they give me a headache every time.
Void Herald
That running gag was thirty chapters in the making ;)
Publius Decius Mus
> As much as Insupportable was glad that his servant had finally learned the gift of telepathy ROFL. You sure know how to hit a man with a peak dragonism out of left field!
Tilen Praprotnik
Thanks for the chapter
