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Potential New Story Pilot: The Paypocalypse (1 & 2)
🕑 Added 2025-05-26 07:33:29 +0000 UTCHeya, as said a while back, here's one of the potential pilots for the novel that will take over after Blood & Fur concludes somewhen in July; The Paypocalypse. That one was proposed a bit earlier against Board & Conquest and only lost by one vote, so I'm putting it up here again with a few edits. Hope you'll enjoy it.
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"How do you circle a square?"
"By cutting enough corners!"
Famous DungeonCorp inside-joke.
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It was on a Tuesday that Martin landed the most important job of his life.
The day started like many others, with him desperately browsing through LinkedIn offers like an addict desperate for a fix. He had taken to praying to God, Buddha, half the Hindu Pantheon, and even some neo-pagan divinities; and each time a deity failed to listen to his prayers, he added a new one to the list.
Someone was bound to answer eventually.
Martin had lost count of how many cover letters he had sent, the countless hours he spent waiting for answers that rarely came, and the rare interviews that went nowhere. Most offers had begun to blur together over time, but something about this one’s garish, ‘DC’ shaped castle logo on it caught his eye. It reminded him of those fantasy novel titles. Even the company’s name, ‘DungeonCorp,’ seemed more appropriate for a gaming company.
At this point, he would even take a job with a porn site if the admins would have him.
Martin remembered clicking on the email without really believing anything would come out of it. The proposal itself looked standard enough… at least, until he read the details.
Job Offer: System Operator
Position: System Operator
Location: DungeonCorp
Employment Type: Full-Time
Salary: Highly Competitive
About Us:
We are a family forged in stats and bureaucracy, committed to delivering exceptional products and services to our clients. We are seeking a motivated System Operator to join our team. The ideal candidate will be dedicated, detail-oriented, and have a strong risk tolerance.
Responsibilities:
Troubleshooting any issues that arise.
Equipment monitoring and collection to ensure optimal performance.
Inventory management.
Occasional asset recovery.
Client request management.
Assist in maintaining security protocols and compliance with company policies.
Requirements:
Familiarity with system monitoring tools and inventory management.
Strong problem-solving skills and the ability to work under pressure.
A family that won’t miss you.
The willingness to do whatever it takes to satisfy a client.
A winner’s mindset and killer instincts are a plus.
Benefits:
Competitive salary of 3,000 credits a month and gig-based bonuses.
Ailments insurance.
Employee reductions on in-app purchases.
Fantastic out-of-country assignments.
Opportunities for class advancement.
A safe hub environment with employee wellness facilities.
How to Apply:
If you are interested in joining our team as a System Operator, please send your resume and a brief cover letter to the following address:
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The last hyperlink was a gargled mess, which was never a good sign. The other details were hardly any better.
“‘A family that won’t miss you?’” Martin read out loud while sipping from his coffee cup. Like would he have to attend happy hours and return late in the evening? Maybe that was the company’s way of weeding out candidates. He knew a few of them insisted on a homogenous culture among their employees.
Then again, the wording sounded almost intentionally ominous. Whoever wrote this must have had a cup too many or a weird sense of humor. The company could also be the shady sort–like online organ harvesters or a black company that mistreated its employees–or it could be a prank.
A winner’s mindset and killer instincts? Ailments insurance? What did that even mean?
Martin did a quick search on the company and came up with nothing. The best he could find about DungeonCorp was some kind of farming simulator whose logo differed from the one on the offer.
This company seemed shady as all hell. Maybe he should pass on this one…
Oh, who was he kidding? Martin needed a job. It had been two months since his last internship, his rent was quickly burning through his savings, and freelance gigs barely paid enough to keep him afloat. At this point he would have to consider prostitution, selling a kidney, or fast-food slavery. Anything over moving back in with his parents.
‘Go into IT,’ his teachers said. ‘A job within a day of graduation,’ they said. ‘Easy peasy,’ they said.
The educational system had lied to him! Instead of finding work right after university, Martin had spent the last year alternating between pisspoor internships and soul-crushing job search periods. AI had dealt a heavy blow to most entry-level tasks, and companies usually used entry-level people like Martin for menial tasks. Competition was rude and, most insultingly, recruiters asked for either two to three years of professional experience or a good old nepotism boost before giving out good contracts.
How did companies expect people like Martin to gain experience if they didn’t offer them any?! It was ridiculous!
Martin was sick of internships with no tomorrows. He wanted a job, a real job, with a steady paycheck and professional opportunities. He wanted a company that would appreciate him and a brand to which he could dedicate himself, body, and soul! Hopefully with yearly leaves!
What did he have to lose anymore?
Martin opened his preformatted cover letter and filled in the blanks with DungeonCorp as he did with dozens of other companies. He remembered his first month when he used to personalize each and every one of them before realizing it was a waste of time and most potential employers didn’t even read them. He missed those early days’ enthusiasm, back when he harbored hope for the future.
Martin forwarded the cover letter and his resume through the gargled link, then moved on to the next offer. He barely had time to open a new tab before a new email notification caught his eye. He lazily checked, only for his heart to pound like a war drum in his chest upon seeing the title.
DungeonCorp Job Offer
Martin opened the email faster than a social media addict. The text contained no more than a single sentence, yet one that filled him with hope.
When can you start?
A thousand answers crossed Martin’s mind in an instant, all of which boiled down to one word.
‘Immediately,’ he typed in an instant, hitting the ‘send’ button so fast he only realized his mistake after the deed was done.
Damn it, how did it make him look to send an answer within seconds of receiving a reply, while basically admitting he had nothing better to do? Had Martin ruined his chances by looking too eager? He began to bite his left hand’s fingers and squeeze his stress ball with the right in order to clear his mind.
Calm down, Martin, calm down. The company had answered in an instant, far too fast to read his resume and cover letter. Either they were strapped for someone to fill the job somehow, or this was likely a joke of some kind. Considering his luck, it would likely be the latter. This sounds too good, far too goo–
Ding!
Martin nearly fell off his chair as he heard an alarm echo out of nowhere, so close to him it seemed to come from his skull. He barely had time to blink until it appeared right in front of him.
A blue screen.
For a moment, Martin could only stare at it in shock. A floating hologram materialized out of nowhere right in front of him, a mere blue square the size of his head and covered in bright flashing words.
Congratulations on joining us as our newest System Operator, Employee Martin Moreau! You are now part of the great machine of DungeonCorp, a system family forged in stats and bureaucracy! All your fungible assets have been transformed into System Credits (current balance: 67) to ease your first month among us!
Prepare to receive your assigned starting Employee Class, equipment, and your 10% reduction on all in-app purchases! We hope you’ll live long enough to claim your paycheck!
"W-what the?" Martin asked in utter surprise and disbelief. He looked around for the source of the hologram and found none. In fact, the screen appeared to follow the movement of his eyes. Even so, how could anyone install a projector in his apartment without his notice? It didn’t make any sense! “What’s going on?!”
Another screen appeared in response.
Starting Gig: The Gobs Gotta Go
Difficulty: E.
Customer: Saltina, Goddess of Salt.
Location: Kingdom of Wolfort, Sorzelia.
Objective: A band of goblins are ransacking a client’s village. ‘Convince’ them to leave, peacefully or otherwise, but remember: violence is always a solution with DungeonCorp!
Reward: 100 Credits.
Then there was light.
A bright flash swallowed Martin’s entire apartment, blinding him utterly with an eldritch magenta glow. He felt a deep sense of vertigo as the ground beneath his feet vanished in an instant. An intense vibration traveled through his flesh and bones while a weight filled his hands. Martin suddenly wondered if someone had somehow spiked his coffee.
Then the light died, and there were screams and fire.
Martin blinked in shock and disbelief, his head snapping from one side to the other in his confusion. His apartment was gone, replaced with bucolic greenery and small muddy houses of wattle and daub. A large woman’s statue standing in the middle of a pond smelling of salt cast a dark shadow upon him, while dirty people in clothes straight out of a medieval fair knelt near the waters in supplication.
Oh, and a mill was burning on a nearby hill. Most of the screams came from there.
At this point, Martin was far too astonished to pay that ominous sign the attention it deserved. His eyes wandered to the weight in his hands and soon stared at a gun. Though Martin had never used any, he had played enough video games to recognize it.
A shotgun.
A sawed-off shotgun.
His clothes had changed, too. Martin looked down to find his pajamas replaced with a yellow shirt and beige pants uniform, with its own pair of shoes. He touched his hair and grabbed the cap, which had somehow found its way to the top of his head. It was black, with the garish castle logo of DungeonCorp on it.
Everything happening around him flew in the face of all logic and sense! Had he been teleported somewhere else across the world? And outfitted with a uniform while he was at it? What kind of company could even do that?! It also felt far too real for it to be holograms or virtual reality.
Either Martin had been hallucinating all morning, or he really should have read his job offer’s fine print.
One of the men kneeling around the pond suddenly noticed Martin and pointed a finger at him. “Blessed be Saltina!” he said, his face beaming with relief. “The goddess sent us a champion to deliver our village from calamity!”
“Champion?” Martin repeated, only for half a dozen people to swarm him and grab his clothes with feverish hope in their eyes. “Hey!”
“Oh, champion, please protect us from these foul creatures!” A woman among them implored him. “They have eaten my dog, and my baby!”
Martin was about to ask what creatures she was referring to, when he heard a screech coming from the hill.
A small group of five blistering, green-skinned creatures with wide, ungainly heads rushed down the slope at them. Martin mistook them for entertainers in costume at first, until he caught a glimpse of their wide crimson eyes and their purple tongues slipping through their sharp teeth. Their weapons ranged from swords to clubs and bows, and each weapon looked real enough. They reminded Martin of goblins and orcs from Lord of the Rings, but a bit too lifelike.
Those were real monsters, coming straight at him with murder on their mind.
“G-get back!” Martin shouted at them, his shotgun raised at the vanguard of the group. “Get back or I’ll… I’ll shoot! I swear I’ll shoot!”
They answered him with screeches and frothing snarls.
The blue screen appeared again in front of Martin’s eyes like an ominous reminder.
Warning: Failure to complete the starting gig will result in immediate employment contract termination.
Martin held his breath. So that was it, no way around it. He would have to stand his ground and–
Wait.
Contract.
He had landed an employment contract at long last.
The news dispelled all doubts from Martin’s mind. A deep sense of purpose suddenly filled him, stripping him of all his hesitation.
He was no longer an unemployed human being despised by society. He had been reborn as an employee. The Homo Economicus, defender of the customers. He had become a link in the great chain of capitalism. And it was his duty to ensure that these green things choked on it.
For his paycheck’s sake!
Channeling experience from countless video game runs, Martin raised his shotgun and blasted the closest goblin’s head off its shoulders. A ding noise echoed inside his skull once the bullet struck, followed by the sound of the goblin’s corpse hitting the ground.
Startled villagers stepped away from Martin in shock, but he was too taken aback by two details to care.
First of all, he knew how to shoot. Martin had never carried a firearm outside a video game, yet his body went through the motions like an experienced gunman. He simply understood how to use the weapon on an instinctual level.
Second, he had just killed a living creature. The blood and brain bits spilling all over the grassy ground more than attested to it, as did the obvious rage of its compatriots. They charged at him while swinging their swords and clubs like maniacs.
So Martin did the only sensible thing.
He started blasting.
He just ran forward and shot without really bothering to aim. An arrow miraculously missed his neck, and a sword grazed his employee shirt, with both of the goblins responsible soon turning into bloody intestine salsa in a shower of gore and gunpowder. Bones flew to the tune of gunshots and the villagers’ cheers.
When Martin finally ran out of ammo, he found himself standing in the middle of a puddle of blood and goblin body parts. Not a single greenskin had survived his rampage, though a bit of brain matter now stained his yellow shirt.
Well, that was easier than expected!
Martin caught his breath as the rush of adrenaline receded, followed by the pride of a job well done and the drowning acclaim of the villagers.
“Champion!” They sang and clapped. “Champion! Champion! Champion-”
Their voices were deafening, but a thunderbolt striking from the blue sky above rang louder.
The lightning came out of nowhere and struck the pond, startling Martin and everyone else. The salty waters rose and swirled around the statue, transforming its pristine marble into flesh and silk. The effigy was animated in front of everyone in the shape of the most beautiful woman Martin had ever seen. Her azure hair was undulated like the sea, and her eyes glittered like sapphires. Her gilded robes and jewelry glowed brighter than the sun, while her chiseled salt crystal staff radiated authority. The very fabric of reality seemed to bend in her presence, space folding and rippling around her.
The villagers’ cheers turned into awed silence, with all of them kneeling before the strange woman all at once. Martin wondered if he was supposed to do the same when the lady’s gaze settled on him. He straightened up as she studied him, her soft lips moving to speak.
She uttered a single word.
“Mediocre!”
Martin stood still for a moment, as his brain struggled to process the word. “What?”
“You call that a rescue!” she all but screamed at him. “There’s blood all over my village, and a piece of bone landed in my sacred pond! Mediocre, ridiculous!”
Martin stared at this woman without a word, her illusion of divine regality stripped away in an instant.
“I won’t stand for this!” the shrieking fury raged on, her staff pointed at Martin’s face. “I want to talk to your manager!”
“My manager?” Martin asked. Did he even have one?
The blue screen reappeared the moment he uttered the word, its usual text replaced with a video feed. A tiger-faced humanoid appeared on the other end, its slitted eyes squinting in exhaustion.
“DungeonCorp’s Buddyguard Standard Hero Delivery Support, what can I do for you Lady Saltina?” the stranger asked with the most deadpan, tired voice Martin had ever heard in his life. “Except refunds, of course.”
“I find your Buddyguard wanting!” the woman answered with a frown of rage. “I paid top mana for a dashing hero to protect my followers, and you sent me…” She waved her hand at Martin with the disgust of a noble glaring at a pile of horseshit. “This NEET!”
“Hey!” Martin protested. He had killed five creatures for money, didn’t that warrant congratulations? “I got the job done!”
“With a gun?!” The woman, apparently called ‘Saltina,’ spat the word with disgust. Martin suddenly recalled that the gig referred to her as the request’s customer. “A real hero ought to use a dashing sword, or a noble rapier!”
The tiger-faced man appeared as equally unimpressed as Martin himself. “From what I read, Milady, you subscribed to the minimum protection service package,” the former said. “Which does not entitle you to refunds nor higher levels Buddyguards.”
“Entitle? Entitle?” The woman glared at the poor customer service representative. “Do you know who I am?! I am Saltina, an intermediate goddess adored by millions! I deserve nothing less than your best!”
“And you’ll get what you pay for,” the customer service representative replied calmly.
The so-called goddess snapped and shouted at the blue screen, demanding a refund or a higher-ranked manager to speak to, only to be denied both. Martin had already started zoning out of this conversation when another notification appeared in the corner of his gaze; the only kind that mattered.
Starting Gig: The Gobs Gotta Go, completed! You earned 100 Gig Credits plus a 500 prime from goblin slaying! We’ll keep you!
All of Martin’s doubts vanished while he exhaled in relief and triumph. At long last, his year-long quest for steady employment had come to an end.
It wasn’t the job he had wanted, but the one he needed.
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Chapter 2
"To buy is to live."
President Golich's Thought of the Day
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One flash of light later, and Martin found himself in an elevator traveling downwards.
The experience was so off-putting that he nearly threw up immediately after. It took him a few seconds to recover and realize that the coffin of steel around him had its doors closed and a single plasma video screen encased in its left wall. His shotgun was gone too for some reason, though he kept the shirt and cap uniform.
That… that might not have been a good sign. The goddess Saltina had been screaming at his manager long after he completed the gig.
Were they going to fire him on his first day? Or worse? The company sent him to fight monsters on his trial period, what else could they do to him?! For all Martin knew, the elevator was taking him to a secret demon basement, or a jail for failed telemarketers!
He barely had time to start biting his nails before DungeonCorp’s garish logo flashed on the screen, followed by a catchy, trumpet-powered jingle. A startled Martin straightened up as the image shifted into what appeared to be a video livestream.
A strange creature showed up on the video screen, sitting on a throne of gold in front of an impeccably cleaned mahogany desk. The figure reminded Martin of those skeletons he used to see in biology classes, except this one wore clothes and was entirely gilded. Every single inch of its bones was encased in shining gold, while its teeth had been replaced with vibrant gemstones and its eyes with two rubies. A grandiose hat adorned with feathers sat atop its skull and an extravagant black cloak flowed down from its shoulders. Golden necklaces inscribed with symbols Martin didn’t recognize and a wealth of amulets clung to its chest, whereas precious rings glittered on its fingers.
And then it spoke with a deep male voice echoing with excitement.
“Dear new employee [Insert name here]!” The skeleton waved a hand at the viewer with aristocratic grace as its body moved through its own power. “It is with immense pleasure that I, President Golich, welcome you to the wonderful family of DungeonCorp!”
If killing a band of goblins and encountering an interdimensional Karen hadn’t destroyed whatever skepticism Martin might have about magic, having a cheery undead talking to him over a video call did the job. He was half too spooked, half too terrified to react to the broadcast.
“You are now part of a beloved centillion-credits, cosmo-corporate union spanning over twelve universes and trillions of galaxies!” said the skeleton. “A family values System stretching from Hell to Heaven and all of the weirdness in between!”
Martin could only stare at the screen in disbelief while the sound of fireworks echoed in the background. The skeleton extended his arms as if to welcome him into a warm, HR-mandated hug. From what Martin gathered, he was now looking at his new boss.
Wait, did… did he say Hell and Heaven? And centillion? How many unfathomable trillions did that represent? That number was so huge Martin struggled to even imagine it.
“Let me ask you a few innocent questions, [Insert your name here]!” President Golich said, his hands clenching into tight fists brimming with determination. “Should a hero summoned to save a world not be entitled to a paycheck for services rendered? Shouldn’t paladins go to war with top-of-the-line gear rather than junk found in some undead’s basement? Shouldn’t quests be decided by advanced algorithms rather than provided by senile old seers hiding in caves? Should a planet’s salvation be entrusted to incompetent volunteers, or to trained professionals?”
Martin cleared his throat and tried to come up with a thoughtful answer. “I, uh–”
“We here at DungeonCorp believe in the industrialization of heroism!” his new manager all but shouted through the screen. Martin should have known management wasn’t interested in a new hire’s opinion. “From selecting and equipping the best heroes a god could ask for to managing System experience allocation and designing legendary quests, we believe in doing good for a fee! As our newest employee, it’s now up to you to build a better future for our customers, and for yourself!”
Martin wasn’t sure he understood everything, but he knew what kind of answer managers expected at the end of such a speech. “Y-yes, sir, yes sir!” he replied with a military salute. “I’ll work hard for my paycheck, sir!”
“That’s the spirit! Work hard, grit your teeth, breathe the brand, climb the ladder, and I swear to you, even this throne of mine might become yours by the sweat of your brow!” President Golich pointed a finger at Martin, his ruby eyes shining with an otherworldly glow. “I, too, began my career in that elevator! Once you start at the bottom, the only way you can go is up!”
The video call ended immediately afterward, the screen shifting back to the company’s castle logo with a somewhat ominous automated message.
“Dungeon Corp: A company to die for!”
Martin hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but he breathed in relief nonetheless.
He had a job, and that was all that mattered!
The elevator continued to descend afterwards for God knows how long. It didn’t freeze in place or encounter a bump. No, it simply went down and down to the tune of turning gears and the company’s jingle music without pause or explanation. Martin eventually started to grow nervous once more until he finally sensed it slowing down.
The doors gently opened, and Martin gasped in shock.
There was a whole new world waiting outside the elevator, an entire metropolis under a silicon sky. A vast cityscape unlike anything he had ever seen stretched on ahead of him as far as his eyes could see; it was a sprawling maze of stainless steel buildings, medieval stone towers, and mechanized factories of rusted gears and green smoke-spewing pipes. Neon-brightened stores and houses of all sizes jostled for space under a massive glass ceiling providing the illusion of a sky. A single spiraling spire of impossible height reached all the way to the ceiling and pierced it like a needle. It alone dominated the entire horizon, though its stained glass shell seemed utterly devoid of windows.
“This is incredible…” Martin muttered to himself as he walked out of the elevator to take a look outside, his nervousness swept away by amazement. “It’s so big…”
New York City would look like a tiny village when compared to this immense metropolis.
Martin barely heard doors closing behind him amidst the chorus of clicks and clanks. Countless rows of elevators whose numbers boggled Martin’s mind, surrounded his own like the strings of an untied rope, each of them a different size.
And many strange creatures walked in and out of them all around him.
Martin stared in amazement at humanoids with pointed ears, giants thrice his size, centaurs, and even goblins similar to those he had killed walk in and out of the elevators wearing copies of his own uniform. Other creatures verged on the bizarre, from winged squids to treasure chests with legs and even robots with more gears than Martin had bones.
“Wait…” Martin struggled to believe his eyes. “Centaurs are real?”
He… he always believed in cryptids and aliens—though he always considered bigfoot to be a hoax—but centaurs? How did that make biological sense?! What next, harpies?!
As if on cue, the floating, holographic blue screen from earlier returned. It materialized right in front of Martin and projected a video of a huge, green-eyed snake with an employee cap on its head. A dotted number too big for Martin to count was tattooed on its red scales.
“Hi, Martin!” the snake said with a high-pitched, vaguely female voice brimming with enthusiasm. “Welcome to Hiretown!”
“Ah!” a startled Martin took a deep breath to recover from his surprise. Things just kept getting weirder! “W-who are you? How do you know my name?”
“I’m Lerne, your personal Hydrassistant!” the snake chirped back, her reptilian lips morphing into a big smile. It looked a lot uglier than she probably intended, but somehow managed to sound innocent. “I’m here on behalf of the Mortal Resources Department to show you around, answer your inquiries, and put you at ease!”
Mortal Resources? Was that DungeonCorp’s equivalent to Human Resources? Martin forced himself to calm down to avoid giving a bad first impression. He had no idea how to properly talk to giant magical snakes.
“You’re a… a hydra? The multi-headed monster?” Martin froze upon realizing his mistake. Not even a minute, and he might have already insulted HR itself! “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to sound insensitive!”
“No, no, it’s fine!” Lerne reassured him. “Monsters are our official designation! To be honest, I find you humanoid people super-duper disturbing too! You all look like deformed cripples with only one head!”
“Oh, okay, that’s good!” It wouldn’t do good for Martin to start his career with a racial slur. “In that case, Miss Lerne, can you explain to me… well, uh… everything?”
“Sure! How about I give you the rundown while guiding you to your new free employee home?”
Martin’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. “My new home?”
“Your new rent-free household!” Lerne confirmed. “Which you will have to share with other determined employees at no cost, because community rhymes with pro-duc-ti-vi-ty!”
She had him at ‘free.’ Martin couldn’t shake the thought of finally escaping his poverty-induced rent-stress. Only a single strand of guilt prevented him from cutting off that hanging rope for good.
“Is there a way to inform my landlord back home that I’m moving out?” Martin asked. “He’s become like a father to me. He called me every day to ask for money, like my dad.”
“Don’t worry, we’ve taken care of your last payment, the unexplained disappearance notice, everything! Your family won’t even ask questions because they are a dis-trac-tion!” Lerne chirped happily. “At DungeonCorp, we do our best to ensure our employees can focus on the grind free of worries! The workplace will be your new family!”
No more rent? No more ways for his parents to complain all day? Free social activity? Exploring fantastical worlds and getting paid for it?
Okay. Martin’s anxieties faded away, until he couldn’t contain his rising excitement. Okay, this job sounds amazing.
A new floating blue screen appeared next to the video call, showing what appeared to be a GPS-like map of the district. A red point at the end of a calculated itinerary glowed on it. The path looked rather short, so Martin hesitantly followed it on foot while questioning Lerne.
“So, uh, what’s this System exactly?” he asked. The screens made it seem like a computer program of some kind, but one that appeared to rewrite the very laws of physics.
“It’s a proprietary algorithmic non-binary god-machine, a reality-bending occult matrix, and DungeonCorp’s flagship product!” An explanation that hardly enlightened Martin. “Have you ever watched an Isekai anime?”
“Yes, a few tim–” Martin blinked upon realizing the similarities with the Saltina job mess. “W-wait, is that what we do?”
“Exactly! The boys in marketing actually finance most of those shows in order to subliminally prepare candidates for the role and to condition them to a life of merciless struggle!” Lerne let out a hissing sound that Martin took for a chuckle. “Who do you think provides the hero’s powers? Or who forges their legendary weapons, or arranges for their transportation to another world? Well, that’s us!”
Martin never really bothered to ask where those came from, being an easy buy himself when it came to TV shows, but now that she said it… teleporting someone across dimensions alone probably demanded a lot of resources.
Lerne proceeded to give him a rundown of the situation. Not only did alternate worlds and gods exist—and Saltina’s example largely explained why all of Martin’s prayers always went unanswered—but many faced problems that ran from demonic invasions to cataclysmic disasters. Like any company answering a market demand, DungeonCorp thus proceeded to build an entire business around solving those issues. Their activities included selecting and reincarnating would-be heroes, equipping them, providing restricted System access to worlds threatened by an apocalypse, and even operating dungeons full of monsters.
“Wait, you create those?” Martin asked as he walked into vast streets inhabited by crowds of strange creatures. He briefly paused upon seeing a bus with legs filled with goblins running straight past him; he had the feeling he would grow used to weird sights. “Isn’t that a bit counterintuitive?”
“Oh silly, how else could we train our operators for the actual dangers?! We even design prophecies and custom quests to teach them the ropes!”
“And what about anime where the characters become vending machines in another world?” Martin wondered out loud. “Or where they just chill out and don’t save the world? Do we organize those too? Why?”
“We use them for multidimensional TV reality contracts! And we don’t even need to pay the candidates besides for the occasional tombstone!” Lerne quickly moved on to the meat of the job. “Anyway, as a system operator, you’ll answer direct requests from our DungeonCorp System. This means a compulsory gig a day, five days a week, though you’re free to take on new jobs during your free time if you want!”
“So like the goblin job?” Martin wasn’t sure he had the nerve to handle the likes of Saltina five days a week, but he was determined to endure. He couldn’t pass on the opportunity to earn more money! “What about the 3,000 credit paycheck a month I was promised?”
“The 3,000 credits is a monthly retainer fee that you’ll keep so long as you complete the compulsory gigs. The higher you climb the Corporate Ladder, the bigger your monthly paycheck and the better the jobs the System sends you.”
The way she stressed ‘Corporate Ladder’ aroused Martin’s curiosity. “And how does a young fresh candidate climb this ladder?”
“With your feet,” Lerne replied. “It’s in the dungeon in the town’s center, you can’t miss it!”
Martin looked up at the immense spire dominating the cityscape, his eyes working their way up to the point where it pierced through the glass ceiling. Only then did he understand the very subtle metaphor. “Oh.”
“Social mobility is lethally competitive, so I wouldn’t try it right away!” Lerne advised. “Anyway, you’ll need Classes to complete your gigs. Classes are like superpowered jobs which you can equip and switch around based on your needs.”
“Like the [Employee] class I have?”
“Everybody starts with that one,” Lerne confirmed. “Classes provide stat bonuses and additional abilities as you level them up, and even overwrite your Type!”
A third screen appeared to fill Martin’s vision, showing him what appeared to be a basic rundown of his personal information.
Name: Martin Moreau.
Type: Humanoid.
Rank: E.
Credit Balance: 667 System Credits.
Class Equipped: Employee 1 (Rogue).
Employee (Rogue): the ideal and easily replaceable worker. Strength C, Agility C, Vitality C, Perception C, Magic C, Intelligence C, Charisma C, Luck C. Innate Perks: Interdimensional Salaryman. First level Perk: Jack-of-all-Trades I.
Interdimensional Salaryman (Passive): You can read, speak, and understand any language.
Jack-of-all-Trades I (Passive): You can use any weapon with medium proficiency (x1.5 damage) and craft any D or lower quality object so long as you possess its recipe.
“That’s your employee sheet,” Lerne explained. “Your base stats are completely average all across the board, the perfect springboard to mold a model worker!”
“And I suppose some gigs are only open to specific classes?” Martin guessed. It would make sense for specialized jobs to receive more niche requests.
“Yuppy yup! Everybody starts with Employee because it’s a fit-all-sizes designation, but most buy more specialized classes as they accumulate credits. You can find them in your Class Compendium feature!”
The more Martin listened, the happier he became. This job sounded better and better by the second. Exploring new worlds for free and gaining superpowers out of it? All while having a rent-free home that wouldn’t devour his budget like an all-devouring black hole? Who wouldn’t sign on for this?
Sure the assignments sounded dangerous, but Martin would enjoy a steady paycheck and job security so long as he completed them and this Corporate Ladder offered him the possibility to ascend through the ranks. Maybe he could rise high enough to have his own personal office one day, with his own secretary and company car.
Best company ever–
Wait.
Wait a second.
“Did… did you just say I had to buy my Classes?” Martin asked upon recalling that worrying detail.
“Yes, of course!” Lerne confirmed with a telemarketer’s boundless enthusiasm. “And you have to buy the levels too, because here at DungeonCorp, investing in your future starts with yourself!”
Martin rechecked his stats and noticed a level-up option. Indeed, the System asked for two hundred and fifty credits to upgrade Employee to level two; a sum which represented nearly half of his hard-won earnings!
“I have to spend the money I earn back in company features?” Martin choked at the obvious racket. “That’s, that’s… that’s devious!”
“It’s the cycle of life!” Lerne replied with a big wide smile. “You work to earn the right to work more!”
That…
That, uh…
Come to think of it, that wasn’t that big of a change from Earth.
Martin grumpily digested the information and considered his situation. Having to pay for promotions left a sore taste in his mouth, but it wasn’t required; he would still receive gigs if he refused to invest his salary into advancements, just not good ones. He guessed he could play it safe for a while until he could check whether buying new Classes and levels was worth the investment.
Besides, who was he kidding? What kind of fool would refuse the opportunity to visit distant dimensions, gain magical powers, and get paid for it? Martin couldn’t pass on this job even if he had any alternative.
And worst of all, DungeonCorp wouldn’t give him a cover letter if he left now.
“Alright,” Martin decided after pumping himself up. “I’m in.”
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A/N: so yes similar proposal with a few edits, but reposting here for patrons who weren't there for last year's poll ;) I would love to read your thoughts in the comments.
Comments
Hussar L
Strange woman from a pond and swords… Monty Python?
Void Herald
Corrected, thanks XD
Lucy Severine
One small note of an error in this chapter: Martin calls himself a "a chink in the great chain of capitalism", and uh, pretty sure that's the wrong word being used. A chink in the armor is a weak spot/flaw, and also, is a slur lol, I think what's meant is a 'link in the chain'?
Void Herald
Corrected thanks ;)
Sam
I think the fantasy of having a job is perfect in this economy 🥲😭
DeadicatedReader
His clothes had changed, too. Thomas looked -> while I appreciate the name drop, I'm pretty sure our protagonist here is Martin. This is a delightful premise. It seems like it could overlap with B&C but probably won't.
Julian Hinck
i thing im going with this one. moustly because its just funier XD But clas action sounds realy good too. maybe it can be up for the next round ?
Massgamer
Voting for this one since I connect with it emotionally, lol.
Vik M.
I vote for this one! I love interdimensional cities
ioajfidsnmfomds77
I vote for this one
Kody Ihnat
I so badly want to finally read this!
Darkdej
I like the tone of this one
Void Herald
It's mentioned in the latest chapter that calling upon mercenary champions from DC is forbidden during new world exams. TBH there's always cameos between my LitRPGs so both Class Action and Paypocalypse would be referenced (or reference) other works at one point or another. I wouldn't make the chance of a cameo a decisive factor in your vote ;)
james apfel
Yea this is better
gostsamo
will Weppy ever need to enhance his hero cast with a contractor from Dungeon corp? I actually might enjoy Martin on Elphion for a cameo.
Manpolar
I love both but this one just has a more interesting concept
Manpolar
This one
Pride
Argh I love this one too! I can’t decide I want both!
MaliMi
From the 2 stories presented, this is way better. It has a personality. Still cannot get over a literal Corporate Ladder.
Void Herald
That'll be up to voters to decide later ;)
john
Please continue writing Paypocalypse. I just the novel interesting and unique. Just don't make it a harem
