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Board & Conquest 63: Sugar Goddy
🕑 Added 2025-05-27 07:50:21 +0000 UTC------
All true Dungeons had a core, a heart of pure mana around which walls and rooms slowly grew over the eons; and Neigebleue Castle was no exception.
Wepwawet found the core in the castle’s depth, buried in a room hidden behind countless layers of traps and mimic monsters. Entire adventurer parties would have been wiped out making their way to it, but Wepwawet simply had to manifest his spirit in the right location. As a god whose Influence enveloped the entire Dungeon, no spot was beyond his reach. He descended into the depths until he faced a heart of stone and purple crystals pulsing in a chamber with barred gates. The core was roughly as large as Jarlack and brimmed with mana.
A Dungeon’s spirit differed from that of most mortals. Places didn’t think like people. They perceived the world through mana and vibrations in the air rather than sight or sound. They hardly communicated with the adventurers traveling through their bowels for the same reason most didn’t expect the bacteria to talk back to them. Even if they shared the same ways of communicating, what would they have to tell each other?
Nonetheless, Dungeons remained living and intelligent creatures; and thus had the potential to become Champions should they achieve great enough notoriety. Some even started out as or became divine entities themselves, like Tartarus. Neigebleue Castle had gained the potential to become more than it was, and Wepwawet could feel it in the ambient mana.
“Here’s the deal,” Wepwawet informed the Dungeon through mana emanations its primitive intellect could understand. “I’ll feed you mana, take care of you, and improve your infrastructure in return for your service. What do you say?”
The core thrummed for a moment as it considered his proposal before answering with a pulse of confirmation.
Artificial Dungeons were less willful and more disciplined than naturally occurring ones, with the mechanical commands the kobolds installed being proof of that—a living cave would have never allowed lesser creatures to play around with its layout. Neigebleue remained a living castle at the end of the day, and those required castellans, staff, and rulers.
Wepwawet thus claimed his first Dungeon Champion.
Now this was the most powerful Champion Wepwawet had ever recruited. A pity those stellar stats were wasted on an entity that couldn’t move and felt no desire to participate in battle directly.
The castle was far from defenseless, though. Its ability to generate traps and monsters at will on top of its quick regeneration would make it a near-impenetrable fortress. The mana cost of its upkeep would be well worth it in the long run.
Moreover, the kobolds had forgotten to take their user’s manual with them when they departed Elphion through planar teleportation. The book contained basic information about Dungeon and dragon management—with the latter interesting Wepwawet far more than the former—alongside intel on the pay-to-enter energy barrier. He would have his Crafters study it in case they could replicate the spell for future use.
Neigebleue Castle could generate a small army to use in a pinch during a Titan Incursion if I can find a castellan capable of commanding them, Wepwawet thought. Where could I find someone with an ego so great that the likes of even the undead would have no choice but to fall in line?
“MINION!” the most grating voice imaginable echoed across the halls, much to Wepwawet’s displeasure.
Ugh, that was what he deserved for tempting fate. Wepwawet refocused his attention to his Altar to find not one, but two dragons seeking an audience alongside Bernard and that poor mimic princess. At least the latter one was happily playing with a new ‘royal scepter’—a carved wendigo antler that Bernard had crafted for her on Insupportable’s orders.
“I told you to stop calling me that!” Wepwawet snapped at Insupportable through his Altar. He knew that showing up right after the dragon called him might send the wrong message, but he couldn’t help himself. “You are unsufferable!”
Insupportable answered him with silence.
That took Wepwawet aback, considering how annoying the dragon had been in the past. Insupportable closed his eyes and shook his head with a stern look, refusing to speak up.
“Has he gone deaf or something?” Wepwawet wondered.
“His Glorious Majesty has decided to punish you for your past unminionly demeanor with the torment of silent oblivion,” Bernard explained while winking at Wepwawet. From the smile at the edge of the yeti’s lips, he was struggling to hold back his laughter. “His Glorious Majesty shall forget to speak to you for three hours straight, during which you shall be deprived of his genius and the pleasure of hearing his melodious voice.”
“Such cruel minion abuse…” Soumis muttered under his breath.
…
Oh gods, yes, yes! Wepwawet’s spirit overflowed with joy. Finally, some peace and quiet. Wait, wait, I can’t look too happy about it or he’ll never do it again!
“Oh no, how will I live with myself?!” Wepwawet lied through his teeth. “This is terribly cruel!”
“I know,” Bernard replied with a knowing look. “You must bear this burden with grace until His Glorious Majesty finally agrees to forgive you.”
“And it won’t happen for a very long time!” Insupportable snapped, only to quickly catch himself and turn his head away once again; a gesture which almost caused Wepwawet to sigh in relief.
Bernard cleared his throat. “In any case, His Glorious Majesty and Lord Soumis have agreed to a settlement. His Glorious Majesty will retain custody of Princess Treasure while he shall surrender his ‘princess-clawkeeper’s’ rights over Princess Victoire to Lord Soumis.”
Rights he never had, Wepwawet thought, but he knew better than to argue with a dragon. It would only give him a headache, and Insupportable wouldn’t get it anyway.
“Additionally,” Bernard said, “Each dragon party will keep visitation rights on special occasions to ensure the other party’s princess is well-treated, and share this summer castle so that both of their chosen princesses may enjoy their royal abode.”
“I Princess Treasure!” the mimic cheerfully replied. “I have a carriage and I love peasants!”
“You would make an excellent family lawyer, Bernard,” Wepwawet complimented him.
“Thank you, Your Godliness.” Bernard cleared his throat, which Wepwawet took as a warning. “However, Lord Soumis asked that you undergo the rite of Minion Championship with him as a condition to the settlement, similar to the one he had with Lady Pele.”
“This reverse minion bond fascinates Soumis,” the red dragon spoke with a tone that would have caused Wepwawet to shiver if he had had a body. “To be forced to ask for blessings from a higher authority in exchange for servitude is… ah…”
Did… did he want Wepwawet to become his Sugar Goddy or something?
“Disgusting,” Insupportable complained.
“Aw!” Soumis replied, louder. “Persecuted for my forward-thinking vision…”
“That wasn’t encouragement!” Insupportable protested.
Wepwawet considered the proposal. On one hand, one dragon in his army was already one too many and he had had his share of headaches. But on the other hand, Soumis was extremely… submissive for a dragon, and Victoire had already proved he would obey forceful orders. Turning Soumis into a Champion would also allow Wepwawet to trap him in ice for a time or smite him whenever he annoyed Victoire.
“What about you, Princess Treasure?” Wepwawet asked the mimic in the room. “You, too, possess the potential of a Champion; nay, a Commander!”
“I Princess Treasure!” the mimic replied. “I eat chocolate on my candy throne!”
“So precious,” Soumis muttered under his breath.
Wepwawet took it as a ‘yes’ and promptly welcomed two new recruits into his flock. He quickly checked their stats for comparison.
Wepwawet looked at Soumis with pity. The poor wyrm was about as smart as a chest with a limited vocabulary.
Princess Treasure’s effectiveness in the field was limited, but her kiss was a surprisingly potent healing ability, and her nature as a mimic might prove to be a blessing in disguise. The Dungeon’s monsters needed a castellan to rally around, and what better than one of their own backed by a loving dragon?
True, Princess Treasure appeared barely aware of her surroundings… but Wepwawet knew Insupportable would let nothing happen to his charge, considering he already clearly struggled not to keep a constant eye on her for fear that she might slip away; and since the dragon was too lazy to do anything himself, this meant Bernard would end up the de facto leader in charge of Neigebleue. He would be the yeti behind the dragon behind the princess and could easily repurpose unruly monsters into equipment for the rest of their army.
Meanwhile, Soumis’ stats and abilities were near-identical to Insupportable’s—intellect included, unfortunately. Besides their respective elements, the dragons only differed in that Soumis still retained his virgin princess detection sense, possessed a more offensive ability in Furnace Body, and lacked the ability to become a Commander. Wepwawet blamed his proclivities for that, but at least he was a powerhouse who would follow orders.
Wepwawet did pity Victoire, though. He doubted she would be all too happy about her new mount.
—------
Of all the magmorian settlements, none matched the grandeur of their capital, Salamandra.
Victoire had heard tales of the so-called City of Glass, but seeing it in person truly put the stories into perspective. Built at the foot of Mount Sunfire—the largest active volcano on Elphion and where the magmorians’ Sacred Flame rested—the city was a marvel of engineering. Topless towers of obsidian rose among streets adorned with translucent dragon statues and magma fountains.
Only the inner ward was made of glass, however, and most of it was sparsely occupied. Magmorian civilization mostly took place underground in the depths of volcanic tunnels and magma chambers, from what Princess Topaz told her on the way to the city, but they had raised Salamandra above ground to host the large local kobold population and foreign visitors. Those mostly resided in outer wards built from black stone and refined steel, protected from the heat by magical seals installed by the magmorian mages. That last one was a relief considering the horrible heat her group had to deal with traveling through Lavaland on their way to the city. Heat-proofing potions barely made the trip tolerable.
As honored guests of the Lavaland royal family, Verglane’s delegation had been afforded quarters in the new Sultana’s palace. Victoire could observe the city from a balcony higher than Salamandra’s towering exterior walls. True to the stories, the countryside was almost entirely barren. Lavaland had been little more than a vast arid expanse of blasted volcanic rock seared by sulfuric winds and the occasional magma pit. Villages were few and far between, and the only animals that seemed to prosper in the region were hardy black goats, which locals called ‘goroths’. Only those were capable of sustaining themselves on the occasional patch of wildgrass.
Moreover, even if Victoire assumed most magmorians preferred to stay underground in their volcano’s depths, Salamandra’s streets appeared far too empty considering their size, with the few magmorians showing up mostly being guards escorting delegations from Lavaland’s neighbors to their guest quarters.
“There’s barely anybody here,” Filou noted at her side. Her squire had grown more adept at thinking like a warrior and general over the past few months. “A small force could take this city.”
“The Titan Incursion took its toll,” Victoire replied. The loss of most of Lavaland’s army had probably forced the new government to spread its remaining military thin to secure the countryside. At least they won’t need to fear an attack from us. “I also assume the magmorians can cause a localized eruption the same way they destroyed Citadel Sapphire.”
“Quite astute, Lady Victoire,” a voice replied. Victoire and her squire looked over their shoulders to find General Peridot entering her apartment. “Should we require it, we can flood this city with Mount Sunfire’s fire-blood. Few can survive a flood of magma.“
“And fewer can survive on an empty stomach too,” Victoire said. “Living off this land is impossible for most unless they can eat rocks. Any attacker would have to stretch their supply lines thin.”
“Indeed. All these factors made conquest undesirable for Lavaland’s neighbors, and we had never yet to fight a determined enemy…” General Peridot looked away. “Until the Incursion.”
Victoire clenched her jaw. Words of empty sympathy crossed her mind, but the truth was that she wasn’t sad about the magmorians’ losses. The Fire Sultan had first gathered his army to march on Verglane, after all.
“For all its worth, I am happy peace will be restored between our nations,” she said. That, at least, was true.
“Thank you,” General Peridot said sharply. Victoire could tell he had seen right through her words. “I am happy you decided against empty platitudes. We’ve had enough of them lately.”
Victoire glanced outside the balcony and caught a glimpse of magmorian guards escorting a group of andvari inside the palace. “It seems word of Lavaland’s troubles has spread far and wide.”
“We have received delegations coming in as far as Shadazar. Almost all of them brought priests.” General Peridot shook his head. “I am told they offered Fire Sultana Alexandrite very generous terms if she would convert to their religion, including military partnerships, economic assistance, and other benefits.”
“But Lady Pele entrusted Lord Wepwawet with the duty of protecting Lavaland in her stead!” Filou protested.
“Did she?” General Peridot marked a short pause. Lord Wepwawet had informed Victoire that he had partly contributed to banishing Lady Pele from Elphion after losing faith in her, and he had clearly retained a healthy skepticism of other deities from the experience. “Your god has proved more trustworthy than ours, but the Fire Sultana faces many concerns with more powerful neighbors. Lavaland alone will decide its own fate… and its faith.”
Victoire sympathized with the sentiment, having doubted her own god in the past… but having another god hungry for lands and power taking over Lavaland would be a disaster. They had already faced one and were still reeling from the fallout of the Titan Incursion. They needed peace and time to rebuild.
She would need to meet with the other delegations and test the waters; see which countries would be willing to ally with Verglane or at least avoid a confrontation.
“Now come,” General Peridot said. “The Sultana asked to see you.”
“What is she like?” Victoire asked curiously.
“She’s…” Peridot carefully considered his next word before deciding to answer with the blunt truth. “Mercurial.”
-------
Comments
Thisul Mendis
Thanks for the chapter!
Void Herald
There are 'smart' dragons, but what's smart by dragon standards doesn't quite fits our definition ;)
George R
Great chapter thanks
Shakyamunie
The fact that the Castle is a few levels away from being smarter than the two Dragons put together and is still called "primitive intellect" is terrifiying, and hilarious, I wonder if there "smart" Dragons? Like Intelligent, Génie, Malin, Intellectuel...
Void Herald
Corrected, thanks ;)
Publius Decius Mus
Tbf, Wepy has his hands full with Verglane. I'd say Lavaland would be the best served by total religious freedom and a secular government. I would be surprised if the mean girls clique would let that happen though. Edit suggestions > Those mostly resided in outer wards built from black stone and refined steel, protected by the high ambient heat by magical seals installed by the magmorian mages. protected by the high ambient -> protected from the high ambient > “Your Glorious Majesty has decided to punish you Your Glorious Majesty -> His Glorious Majesty
Void Herald
And let's not talk about all the princesses he's collecting too ;)
Pride
Not one, but two dragon Champions? I just know Wepy’s classmates are gonna make fun of him for this.
