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Asexuality (Deep Dive) (2018 Rerun)
🕑 Added 2025-12-19 12:00:10 +0000 UTC[Rerun] Dr. Kirk Honda talks about asexuality. (Occasionally in this episode, I mistakenly conflate asexuality with no libido; someone who is asexual can have a libido and desire sex, but it's not directed anywhere.) November 19, 2018
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Comments
Tereza
It definitely doesn’t have to be the case that SSRIs eliminate sex drive. I wouldn’t want this to deter someone from trying meds. My sex drive is always better on meds because I’m less stressed!
Maggie McBonin
I know this is a rerun & I'm a touch late, but Todd from Bojack Horseman is a self-identified asexual character! They did a pretty good job of handling his journey, in my opinion. My own journey to discovering that I'm ace was certainly a winding road. I thought I was bisexual, then maybe pansexual, then I discovered gray sexuality - but that still didn't feel quite right either, it didn't explain everything I was experiencing. I knew I'd never experienced sexual attraction after talking with my husband about how sexual attraction feels in his brain (turns out I was confusing aesthetic & sexual attractions 🙃😅). It didn't help my self discovery at any point that I was raised extremely sexually repressed in an evangelical household, so I figured maybe I'm just a little odd & graysexual was a close enough label. At damn near 30 years old, I discovered aegosexuality on the app FetLife & something just clicked into place in my brain, definitely in the same way you described. I identify as aegosexual (but panromantic) now, which is a subset of asexuality defined as "an orientation where the individual experiences a disconnect between themselves and the subject of arousal". With the added element of the disconnect between myself & sexual "targets" as you describe them, no wonder I couldn't figure out my orientation! I'm so grateful to the kink community for finally helping me discover & honor my true self. I know a lot of people will assume that kink is always sexual, but there's a surprising amount of us who identify somewhere on the ace spectrum & practice kink solely/mostly for the simple joy of play. Everyone's journey looks different, & I'm so glad I finally found a label that makes sense for me. Thank you for reposting this & maybe you & Berto could even revisit this particular topic sometime in the future. PS - I would personally say that libido & sexual orientation/attraction are separate psychological phenomenon, but I'm sure others would disagree. Thank you for all you guys do!
