Draugzel
patreon
Chapter 54: Weak Point 2
🕑 Added 2022-07-31 22:24:47 +0000 UTCI sat in the middle of the training hall with my eyes closed, trying to meditate as the 500g gave me comfort in its heaviness. It had already been an entire day since I shouted at the two. My mind was still racing with incoherent thoughts as I thought about the entire situation with Kara and Raven.
I couldn't believe that she would do something like that. It didn't seem such a big deal because I 'liked' it. Honestly, it wouldn't have bothered me as much if they had just told me about it, but to keep quiet about it, so they could have fun on my expenses, just wasn't something I could swallow.
One might compare the situation with me not telling them I was trying to mind control these new gods that I had locked up or that I was running a converted mafia organization, but these weren't the same. Although I kept secrets from them, these weren't things that directly affected them. Or was I being a hypocrite?
I mean, what would have happened if I faced Trigon and he used that entrance to mind control me? I would have been finished, it would have meant game over. Nothing happened and maybe I was overreacting, but I couldn't help but feel betrayed.
Not to mention the reason for their behavior. I already know how Kara and Raven ticked, but I didn't think they would go that far. If they had a good reason for their secrecy, I might have waved it off as a necessity, but honestly, how all this went, it all sounded like a bad porn script.
I heard the door of the training hall open and someone enter. I didn't need to look up to know who had arrived. Kara just silently sat in front of me. My eyes opened as I looked at her. She just sat on her knees while watching the floor.
It took her a moment before she opened her mouth. "I apologize... but I want to make one thing clear. Raven wanted to tell you, but I stopped her from it, so please don't be mad at her."
I didn't interrupt her, since I knew she had a lot to say. I would listen to her completely first, besides I already had guessed this was the case, considering the reaction they showed when I found out.
"...When I thought you wouldn't make it, I was so afraid of losing you. The stress had accumulated, and this was the perfect way to relieve some of it without bothering you, without being so damn needy all the time.
I know it must have been exhaustive with me wanting to constantly be around you while simultaneously pushing your female friends away from you... even though I still don't like them; they aren't that bad and I realize I am overstepping my bounds by trying to get rid of them. I am still insecure and it just isn't something I can just overcome in a single day, but that wasn't what really triggered this stupid decision.
With Rae, I found myself relaxed with the idea of you two spending time. I wasn't on the edge all the time, because I knew I could trust you. When I thought I would lose you, she helped me get through all this. I realized then that I needed both of you in my life and with Rae's day of moving out, coming closer; I got more anxious.
To be honest, I hadn't realized what I wanted to achieve with this until I thought about it yesterday. It wasn't just because I was horny, it might have played its part, but that wasn't the reason I wanted to see you two being intimate...
I wanted to bind her to you, make her love you because I knew if she did, then she would come back to us again. She would stay with us, with me. I know- I know it sounds stupid, but in my heart it made sense. It is even contradictory to why I wanted all the other girls to not be around. I mean, if you loved Raven and decided to leave me for her, wouldn't I have lost you both?" She bitterly chuckled at that as silent tears flowed over her cheeks.
I couldn't help but sigh out and take her hand into mine as I moved closer to her. I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand to show that I was still with her. It wasn't the first time that I realized this girl came with a lot of baggage.
The pretty blonde girl with her super strength was still a very young woman who saw her family and her entire planet being destroyed, only to land on an alien backwater planet where she couldn't show the world who she was. An outsider, probably for life if she didn't find her place.
Honestly, that her trauma only showed up in romantic hang-ups could be considered as one of the mildest consequences that could have come out of this.
"Beyond this, I hadn't thought about the consequences that would be of such an opening. Even after you were heavily injured, I hadn't thought about it putting you in danger." Her voice got increasingly shaky as she continued. "Not only am I a terrible friend, I am a worse girlfriend- I-I just hope- Pl-please just don't hate me."
I didn't disagree. Considering what she was trying to do, Raven's emotional manipulation, lying to me to have threesomes with me and Raven wasn't being a role model of a friend or girlfriend by a long shot, but I could understand where she was coming from.
Not to mention being a horny, unexperienced woman who was deathly afraid of loss and just wanted to forget her past, made the minor inconvenience I experienced and the potential danger I was placed in a lot easier to swallow. She made a mistake, and I wasn't so petty to pursue the manner after she clearly regretted her actions.
I gently pulled her into my arms and softly whispered into her ear, "I could never hate you." I rubbed her back as she quietly sobbed.
"I love you so much that it hurts."
Of course, that didn't mean everything was alright. I understood her viewpoint, but that didn't mean it invalidated my feelings about her choosing the way she did as unthought as it was, but it was best to let it go. Seeing her like this, I already knew I couldn't stay mad at her and it just wasn't worth the drama. She knew what she had done wrong and would be more thoughtful in the future.
I didn't push her trembling body away now. Her fingers dug into my back as she desperately clung to my body, pressing herself into me.
"I don't hate you. I am just a little disappointed, but I won't ever leave you because of something like this. Get it in your head that even Death won't keep me from you."
Her tears stained my shirt wet, and it took her several minutes to calm down again. "As for Raven... She is your friend, and you two got so close in such a short time. I believe you will remain friends for a very long time, maybe for the rest of our lives, but you have to understand she has to have a life of her own.
You can't manipulate her and keep her caged up. If it isn't meant to be, if you two can't remain friends, because you don't sleep underneath the same roof and spent every day together, then maybe you have to let your friendship go."
She distanced herself a bit as she let go of the hug. Her teary eyes didn't meet mine. "Friendships will come and go. It's part of life and sometimes, if it is not meant to be, it is best to let go than cling to it." She frowned after I said that before something clicked in my mind, something that I hadn't thought about it since I thought it didn't apply to her.
"You. Do you like, like her?" I asked almost hesitantly, to which her eyes widened before she instantly looked at me.
"Wha-? No!" The strong negative response had the opposite effect of her intention, especially considering her distressed state a moment ago.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Nate. I don't like girls. I am positive about that. I mean, I enjoy seeing her squirm underneath me as she gets pounded by you... but not because she is a girl. It's because Rae is Raven." Although she said that, she had a contemplating look on her face after saying that. Maybe it had something to do with Kryptonian not being able to legally birth children on Krypton, which promoted relationships regardless of gender?
I didn't think too deeply about it and just nodded to her. A bisexual girlfriend would give me flashbacks of my past, especially when we entered a polyamorous relationship back then. Having two girlfriends wasn't as nice as it sounded. It was double the headache most of the time, though that wasn't why that particular relationship didn't end well. That was mostly attributed because of our environment.
Western society wasn't really fond of this kind of relationship and brought a lot of social pressure with it, something that my then relationship hadn't been equipped to handle, especially with the hardest critique being the ones that one thought were closest to one.
Given the current circumstances, Kara wasn't ready for pressure like that. She was barely able to keep a functioning relationship with just me, not to mention with someone else.
I picked her up and sat her on my lap with her legs around my waist. "By the way, how did you guys figure out that way into my dreams?" I had pondered about it, but I couldn't quite understand how they were able to fool my defenses to enter my dream undiscovered.
"I talked to Raven about it and she said that you pulled us into your dream. I was not sure about the specifics because that wasn't what I had focused on when I knew we -raped her."
"We what??"
"Apparently, it resulted from her forcefully entering your dream and from there into your mind when you were injured that it left a gap in your defenses. Her power connected with it created a pull for us to enter. I am not sure about the specifics. Anyway, the first time she had no control of it and was unknowingly pulled into the dream. Afterward, she couldn't escape because as time passed, you subconsciously solidified the dream, making it more and more difficult for her to escape. With you keeping her in the dream, we forced ourselves on her..."
"I-I didn't know that."
She nodded at that. "I know. It was also because of it I created a deal with her to spend our dreams the way we did."
"And she just agreed to it?"
"Well, no, I guess she didn't..., but she warmed up to the idea. If I didn't know that she was crushing on you, I wouldn't have tried this."
I couldn't help but facepalm as she pushed her face into my nape. "You are really a piece of work."
"...I am sorry." That apology sounded too hurt.
"Kara, I didn't mean it, you don't have to apo-"
"Nate, I know how I am, which is why I am so thankful to have you. You are someone that could pull any girl that he liked, from the salesgirl of the local bakery to space queen, but instead, you decide to stick with me, worse I was tempting you to cheat on me by making you sleep with another in your dreams. Some others might have already cheated at this point. Honestly, I couldn't be luckier to be with you."
"You are twisting things so your image of me could fit into your narrative. You didn't make me do anything. I was lucid in these dreams, but I still went with it. I am not such a great boyfriend that you seem to think me of. "
Kara had a slightly helpless smile on her face when she heard that. "You know, this is probably something I shouldn't tell you, but even if you decide to fuck Maxima, Felicia, or even those at your League Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, I could never leave you. I might not like it, but I probably stand in the room's corner and flick my bean or clean your ass with my tongue as you rutted away inside them.
I am a sucker for you. I realized it when we fought because you suddenly showed up with Raven. The worst thing you could do to me is hate or forget about me. As long as I had your affection, I could endure everything."
Kara either suffered from a lack of self-worth or was too emotionally dependent on me that she would rather suffer than lose our relationship. It probably didn't help that in the past Maxima and Felicia had pushed Kara to share me because she shouldn't 'hog' me just for herself. Me not making it clear-cut back then and additionally inviting Raven to live with us probably supported the idea that she wouldn't be enough for me.
I smacked her over the head. "I take it back. You are a piece of work. Do you really think I want to intentionally hurt you? You think I want you to 'endure' it? If you aren't happy, you should leave my ass and look for someone that deserved you. And don't think you aren't a prize yourself. You are extremely beautiful and love me with a passion that sometimes surprises me."
She giggled slightly as I shook my head in disbelief, "That is why you are the best and I promise I will be better in the future." I could feel her strength increase as she tightened her hug on me before suddenly letting go to stand up. She took several steps towards the training hall's entrance with her back facing to me.
"You know, when I said that I felt relaxed with the idea of you and Raven spending time, I didn't just say it because. I meant it. If you slept with her, I wouldn't mind it. It's not like anything would change from now, so you wouldn't hurt me! In fact-"
I approached her to smack her head again, not taking her words seriously. She wasn't emotionally mature enough to know what she wanted. A desperate and horny teenager who didn't think long term. In another month, when Raven had been constantly away and occupied with the Teen Titans, she might feel a different way.
Not to mention that she also wasn't mature enough for such a relationship. Something like that needed time, good communication, and a lot of work before something like that could be considered.
Whether I wanted to be with someone else was completely left out of her equation as well. At the moment, I didn't need anyone but Kara. Although I had some fantasies about us and Raven, they were just that, fantasies. If I went with Kara's suggestion, it would destroy her in the future, especially since it was made under desperation and not desire.
Kara was someone I needed in my life, and if there was no one else, I was fine with that. I reached out to her waist and pulled Kara into my arms before burying my face into her nape from behind. My hands hugged her waist, keeping her close.
Her hand rested on mine as we just stood there for a moment with our bodies pressed against each other. "I love you, Kara."
"I love you, Nate." She then turned around and gave me a chaste kiss before she gave me a coy smile as her hands wandered down to my buttocks.
"I don't need anyone except you." I guessed Kara was already thinking that I wanted to extend our relationship, especially considering the dreams that these two conjured up, but I needed to be clear-cut about this. Her hands eased on that squeeze.
"...I know, but if you want to-" She began before I quickly interrupted her.
"No, buts! I only need you, period." I said firmly as I held her firmly in my arms. She trembled slightly. Although I couldn't hear her cry, I could feel the tears wetting my shoulder.
At that moment, I meant what I said, and I hoped that would be the end. However, I didn't anticipate how fast some things would change.
...
Kara had already apologized to Raven, but I felt the need to do the same, so I visited her in her room. She had waited until Kara and I talked it out between us.
I gently knocked on her door. "Rae, can I come in?" I opened the door when I heard the confirmation. I closed the door behind me before I turned my attention to Raven, who was sitting at her desk but was turned to me.
"I see you have already taken a look at it. Anything useful in that book?" I pointed at the open grimoire lying on her desk. It was one out of Morgaine Le Fay's collection that Raven was especially interested in.
"No new spell or the like, but it gave me some insights to my astral projection, which will be incredibly useful for my soul-self."
"I see. Great... Look Raven...I wanted to apologize for what I did to you two weeks ago. If I had known, I wouldn't have done that." Raven seemed to be surprised at my apology and quickly spoke up to interject.
"Nate, you really don't need to apologize. I-I mean, I am not saying that it was okay, but...I was fine with it." She shook her head. "To be honest, I should be the one apologizing. I took advantage of the situation. Not to mention that Morgaine took advantage of the backdoor-"
I raised a hand to stop her from continuing, "Let's just say we all three were in the wrong. And the situation with Morgaine was easily solved. We all made mistakes and in the end, it was solved without consequences, so let's just drop it."
With a small smile on her face, she hesitantly agreed to that, even though I knew she would mostly blame herself for it. I could have checked my mental defenses as well and noticed something off. I usually did it once a month, but after Darkseid, I was at such a high that I had completely ignored checking it.
Honestly, this was one clusterfuck of complications and hidden snakes that would rear its ugly head in the future, but for now, we should let the topic rest for a while.
I stood there for a moment as I was being glanced at by Raven. I didn't know what to say, and it was getting awkward to just stand here.
"What do you thi-" "I should probably-"
We spoke out at the same time before we fell silent again. It took a moment before I couldn't help myself any longer and chuckled before it turned into a full-blown laugh which she joined in shortly after.
"Fuck. Alright, alright. I will let you to your books. Anything in particular for dinner?" I asked as I headed out.
"No, I will go with whatever you guys have."
"Noted." I said before I closed her door again and made my way down. Things looked like they would return to normalcy.
...
"I do not know why, but they just left!" Flash announced, exasperated.
"Maybe it's because you have zero game." I said as I contained the forest fire while Flash carried out the animals.
"What do you mean?" He said as he carried a rabbit. I glanced at it and took it out of his hands, gave it some life force before handing it over to the vets that were helping take care of the animals we rescued.
"I mean, you don't know how to talk to women. I mean seriously, saying that you are the quickest in everything you do, only to track back and say that you didn't mean 'you know what', isn't the smoothest introduction. Besides, you come on too strongly and desperate. Keep your cool for god's sake. You are a known superhuman in a uniform. You should be able to pull anything already. That you don't is honestly pathetic."
"Well, first it's not really a uniform since only I wear it. It's a suit and second, I think it's just that they can't keep up with me, which is why I need my very own Flashmobile, so please."
"I won't lend you any money. Ask Batman." I waved him off as I put out the last bit of burning wood.
"Come on! He would never lend me money to get a van, I mean my Flashmobile." He said as followed me step by step as I looked for the animal my scouter had detected. Of course, I was sensing it by myself, but I needed to keep the pretense up.
"For good reason. Your 'Flashmobile' won't help you pick up any girls, especially if you design it the way you had described it. Let's focus on saving these animals first, okay?"
After I said that, he turned into a blur and headed towards the edge of the wildfire where some animals were which weren't that badly hurt and carried them to the rescue teams. I picked up the baby deer from the stone in the middle of a river and brought it to the same place.
Just after handing over the deer, I was prepared to head back to the Watchtower when someone hugged my leg, "Please, Shall. You are the only one except for Batman from the League, who could lend me some money."
I frowned slightly. "Let's pretend because of your Flashmobile you can get some girls interested in you, then what? These kinds of women certainly don't sound like they are in for the long run. Wouldn't it be better to convince someone with yourself instead of your belongings?"
"There might be some rotten apples, but with a Flashmobile, the chances of women being interested are higher and I could work from there. Without it, I have nowhere to start!"
I ignored his pleas and took off into the sky. With a glance down, I could see him head for the Javelin before it took off after a few moments.
"Please, Shall. A dozen grand is all I need. I will pay it back with interest!" I heard through the comms, which made me roll my eyes.
"Just go to some bank and take a loan. If you can pay back with interest, why ask me?" I responded as we broke through the thermosphere and entered the exosphere of the planet.
"Dude! Secret identity! I can't take a loan with my secret identity, otherwise ever body would know who I was if they just searched up who the Flashmobile belonged to!" He had a point.
"Then go take a loan with your superhero identity. I am sure even if they didn't know your secret identity, they would give you one on the account that you are a world-famous superhero. Just make sure it's not a shady one, otherwise, you would have to slave away your debts for the rest of your life." He was silent after I said that, and I figured he gave it some serious thoughts.
Though I wasn't sure I trusted his judgment to not get scammed by some salesperson. I had to make sure that someone watched his activities for these sorts of things. I didn't care too much whether he went into debt for these things, but it would fall back on the rest of the League. Speaking of private activities that might bring some consequences with it, this probably shouldn't come from me, considering my side hustle.
We entered the hangar, and I made my way to the main control area. Hawkgirl was managing it as she was on monitor duty. Next week, Flash would be on duty with Wonder Woman. The schedule always changed slightly since a hero's life was full of unpredictable changes. Usually, I would only memorize my own shifts, but Flash had repeatedly told me about his shift next week in excitement, which was why I knew about it.
I jumped over and onto the chair next to Shayera before putting my feet up and grabbing into her bag of potato chips. This would be the last day of my active patrol shift where one handled all the smaller things in case there wasn't something major going on, which was why I was so generous with my help.
After finishing today's work, I could put my focus back on mastering the Super Saiyan transformation. Kara was back in Kansas since school would start soon and Raven was in Jump City, helping the other Teen Titans. I should probably ask who they were dealing with on a regular basis since I had more in-depth knowledge about the Teen Titans' happenings than I had about the Justice League.
"Anything interesting?" I asked as I stuffed my face with a handful of potato chips.
"No, the wildfire should be the only thing that was left." She answered as she intensely looked at the monitors through the slits of her helmet before she eased up again and relaxed into the chair.
"Want to grab a drink afterward? We still hadn't time to celebrate your victory against Darkseid! There is this bar I discovered a few weeks ago. It made me feel at home and I am sure you will like it too!" I raised an eyebrow at that suggestion before I nodded.
"Eh, why not? How far is it?" I probably need to take a break after that emotional day yesterday. Besides, seeing how aliens partied seemed interesting.
"Just a few light-years away on an alien hub planet. " She laughed slightly, being happy about having a drinking buddy with her.
Flash suddenly came running inside before he stopped next to Hawkgirl, leaning against a big monitor where the eruption of a volcano was announced. It wasn't anywhere near civilization, but it created a massive cloud worthy of news.
"So, Hawkgirl, doing anything later?" Flash said as he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Not with you." Shayera bluntly responded, which made the Flash smile awkwardly, but he was already used to it, so he recovered fairly quickly. He announced his leave as there were only a few dozen minutes left, besides most heroes were available outside of their active patrol duties as well.
Though they would usually be occupied with the city that they were patrolling and it would take time until they could respond to a reinforcement call. Soon Shayera was finished with everything and I had already swapped the clone with my main body.
I couldn't really send a clone with Hawkgirl since my clones weren't able to handle a distance of several light-years. They would just dissipate if the distance was too great, so my main body had to come with.
It was pretty good timing as well since Raven and Kara were occupied with something else and I didn't have any other plans except for the usual.
