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17 - Mana Shaping and Meditation
🕑 Added 2025-02-12 13:58:37 +0000 UTCThe next morning, after breakfast, Aiden taught Lexie about cloud awareness and mana shaping.
He did this by first having her hold onto one of the cards. Then, he instructed her to push mana into the card without actually activating the card. It was a funny thing to do, directing her mana to her hands and watching the pathway appear, without filling it up. It felt like a waste of time at first to Lexie, but Aiden assured her that it had a purpose. It was supposed to help her get finer control of the movement of mana in her own body, and thus it would make her better at moving the mana cloud through the pathways. Better also meant faster. And as long as she didn't start filling in the activation pathway, then she didn't waste mana by doing it and thus didn’t need any recovery time..
Given the explanation that this would ultimately make her faster, Lexie enthusiastically threw herself into practicing it. She did it religiously, when she woke up in the morning, the afternoon and even the evening. Even while at the clinic with Aiden, she would find a quiet spot to practice. She did this for about a week, and then Aiden gave her her second lesson.
Mana shaping.
Now that she had a better feel for her mana cloud, she was tasked with the more advanced skill of trying to manipulate it into shapes. Aiden taught her how to do it, using breathing exercises to ground herself and meditation to shut down her other senses so all she could focus on was the buzzing inside her. She was then asked to shape that buzzing tighter and tighter so that it covered less surface area. Like two hands corralling the mana into a smaller circle.
Aiden called it molding and it was the first step to true mana shaping. And despite him making it seem like the skill was elementary, it was extremely difficult to do. The awareness lessons were easy for Lexie–she could feel her mana cloud without even trying. But even after three days of lessons, Lexie couldn’t quite manage to shape her mana well. It was like her mind was finding it tough to comprehend the idea of holding something internally and pressing it together.
Maybe if she could visualize it, it would get better. But with the pathway unactivated, she couldn’t see the mana, only feel it. And that made everything worse.
Still, she tried. She watched a few videos that taught her about ‘internal limbs’ that you could see with a third eye. But the woman used a bunch of potions to activate it and Lexie neither had the potions nor did she feel comfortable asking Aiden for money to buy them.
So she kept raw-dogging it trying to shape mana without seeing it. She did this by first going into a deep meditative state, then trying to create an artificial blockade between her card-holding hand and the rest of her body. That way, she would separate the mana cloud from the mana-poor areas in her body, effectively shaping it on a larger scale.
She spent about two hours on this every morning and though it still didn’t feel like a smooth process, she thought it was getting better.
She ended the session by completely activating the <Hustle and Shuffle> card and it did feel slightly more effortless.
But not necessarily faster.
Lexie couldn't seem to crack forty seconds on that card.
She worked on it every day, for at least two hours, with three-minute breaks in between each try. The actual mechanism of the activation wasn’t difficult now that she knew what she was doing. It was a pretty straightforward process and she managed to at least somewhat activate half the deck (3 ability cards, 2 effect cards, and one creature card) relatively smoothly. Most of them had simple activation patterns to lace her mana through, except for <Let’s Have a Blast> which supposedly had a choreography component to it. But <Hustle and Shuffle> was the easiest card in her deck which was why she was using it as a study tool.
Her goal was to get sub-30 second activation in a few weeks.
But she kept getting stuck at that damn forty second mark, even after a week of trying.
This morning, Lexie kept activating it again and again. Then she took a break from card activation to practice mana shaping once more. It was still hard. She still wasn’t much faster or smoother. Yes, it had only been a couple of hours since she last tried and she didn’t really expect things to move along at a break-neck pace, but she didn’t exactly have time to spare either.
After a few rounds of mana shaping and cloud awareness excercises, she tried <Hustle and Shuffle> again. Once again, disappointing results.
It made her feet feel significantly lighter, and it was more noticeable when she tried to run across her room, but it wasn’t an overwhelming speed. She could probably beat another ten year old in a race–provided they weren’t super tall–but she could also have done that with just proper training. She didn’t need a card for that.
The effect itself didn’t last as long as the recovery, because she was still wasting too much mana. But she didn’t give up. She kept going.
As she kept activating more cards in the deck, one after another, she noticed that she became more efficient with each subsequent card and, upon activation, her mana cloud seemed drawn to that pathway instinctively, meaning she had to ‘push’ less in that direction. So this was the power of the deck. After what felt like her twentieth try with the <Hustle and Shuffle> card, the activation clock was still stuck on 41 seconds. Lexie finally dematerialized the cards in a huff putting her head down on her desk.
“I suck,” she grumbled.
A knock on the door interrupted her self-flagellation and a second later, Aiden poked his head in.
He had his hair tied in a bun at the top of his head and he was wearing a bright pink apron with frills along the edges and thick plastic gloves dusted with soot. And then he topped it all off with big worker boots, a pair of goggles on and a clothespin on his nose.
It was such a comical presentation that a snort cracked through Lexie’s frustrated mood.
“What?” Aiden asked in a nasally voice frowning down at himself. “I didn’t get it on my face, did I?”
“Didn’t get what on your face?”
“Coal. I was cleaning out the chimney and I was trying not to get in on my face. I hope I didn't. It takes forever to scrub off.”
They have coal here. Interesting. “You were trying to clean the chimney? By yourself?” Lexie didn’t know how it worked, never having had a chimney in her life, but the thought of how it got cleaned had never occurred to her.
Aiden nodded with a heavy sigh. “Unfortunately, I can’t afford a cleaner right now, or get any of those fancy doohickeys in the infomercials. Usually, I would use magic but…” He let that trail off with a shrug. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
“Sorry. I wish there was a way I could help.” She thought about it. “Wait, is there a cleaning card?"
“There probably is but it’s part of a different deck so you won't be able to use it today.”
“Oh. But if it can wait till tomorrow, I can give it a try then.”
“No, that's fine. I only want you to focus on Party Planner’s Deck for now, to make it easier on yourself. Besides, I don't want you anywhere near the chimney. All that soot and mana dust… absolutely not. After the government relaxed mana smog regulations, you will not believe the pollutants these new-age devices have. That’s why your mother and I prefer to buy vintage when we can." He gave a self-righteous sniff and then continued, “And apart from that, there’s a small but non-zero chance you might encounter a soot sprite."
"Sprite? Like a fairy?"
"Precisely. Nasty little cretins that lurk in there and try to bite your finger off. The exterminator is supposed to take care of them every five years, but they're tough little things to eliminate. Usually, at least one of them is left behind." He looked disgusted. "You may not remember, but you used to be terrified of them when you were younger.”
"You sound like you're pretty scared of them too." He described them with the same narrow-eyed look and tone of hatred with which one would discuss a sworn enemy.
"Well, I've had experience with them. Experience I'd rather not share." And now he looked like he was a soldier reminiscing on his time at war.
Lexie tried not to smile. "They're that dangerous huh?"
He nodded firmly. "Very. With sharp teeth. And due to magic creature humanitarian laws, we can't kill them and even if we could, they’re not easy to kill. And did I mention their teeth are like blades or pincers slicing into you and the most inopportune moments? And they have a predilection for biting off noses too?”
"How fearsome. Sounds like you need a hazmat suit and a helmet."
She thought he would catch on to her sarcasm, but he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “That’s not a bad idea, actually.”
The image of him cleaning the chimney in a hazmat suit nearly made Lexie crack up but she held back.
“You should make the helmet iron, like what the Knights used to wear. Make it sturdier in case the sprite goes for your nose."
"Hmm, you might be onto something here."
Lexie’s grin widened. "Or maybe just wear the whole suit of armor."
That snapped him out of his musings. He shook his head. "Oh no. That would be overkill. Plus I would just look ridiculous, wouldn't I?"
Lexie simply nodded, showing significant restraint in holding her laughter back.
He walked all the way into her bedroom now and said, “Anyway, I believe the two hours of training time are up.”
“Aww.” Lexie pouted. As frustrated as she was about not being able to go lower than forty seconds she didn’t necessarily want to stop her training yet. She wanted to keep going so that her mana would adapt to the pathways faster and she would gain greater control.
But Aiden had insisted she only study it for two hours a day at a time and it appeared he was the type to lay down the law.
“I know how you are,” he said gently, holding out his hand. “When you get interested in something you’ll obsess over it all day if I let you. When was the last time you moved from that desk? Or drank water?”
She thought about it.
"Today," she said confidently.
He sighed. "That’s what I thought. Your dedication is admirable, but as your father, I have to make sure you don’t go overboard and study all day."
That sounds like me, Lexie thought. I guess Lexie Sparrowfoot and I have a few things in common.
Except Lexie Evans' parents had encouraged that tendency and turned her into a study beast instead. Aiden, on the other hand, was adamant that she didn’t spend all day in her room looking at cards. He seemed to be one of those parents who thought their kids should have a life outside of learning.
Strange. Lexie occasionally used to think she wanted a parent like that. But now that she had one, she found it a little frustrating.
“Can I just get one more hour?” Lexie pleaded, holding her hand to her chest. “It’s just that I set a goal to crack under forty seconds today and I feel like I’m close.”
He sighed. “You already cut your activation time by nearly five seconds. In just a week. That’s amazing Lex. You're doing astoundingly well. You don’t need to push yourself any further.”
"I watched some videos online and quite a few people have been able to shave thirty seconds of their time in a month by dedicating at least 6 hours of practice a day. And that resulted in them cutting down by 7.5 seconds every week. I think conservatively if I follow that, I should be able to do it at least another second today."
"What did I say about comparing yourself to others? Those people often have paid tutors or have parents who are dedicated card users to teach them all the tips and tricks."
"I have you," Lexie said hopefully.
“Yes, but I’m a generalist mage which means I would be a poor tutor for any one specific skill. I know about magic in a general sense, but because I never affixed, I don't use any one type of magic exceptionally well and don't have tips and tricks for you. These things come with time, Lexie. And if you try to rush it, you’ll only hurt yourself. And even if there was a way for you to do it without hurting yourself, I still wouldn’t let you spend more than two hours a day on it. It’s not mentally healthy and there’s more to life than studying."
Ha. Lexie thought. Not according to Dr. and Dr. Evans there is not.
Aiden held his hand out and signaled a 'hand it over' with a stern look. “The cards, Lexie.”
Lexie bit her lip and with a loud sigh, she finally materialized and gave the cards to Aiden. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.
Aiden smiled at her dramatics. “Thank you. Now, do you want to get changed and accompany me to the grocery store?”
She kinda wanted to sulk but then curiosity got the better of her. “Groceries don’t just appear on the system interface?” While exploring her interface, she thought she’d seen a section of food.
“Not usually. Food can be stored and sent through the system but it’s just a hassle for the system to transport it that way. Most of us are encouraged to do our own shopping physically unless you’re off-earth or in a remote area where it’s hard to find food. In that case, you put in a special circumstance request, and that transports a designated amount of non-perishables to your inventory. But even that is a long tedious process with a lot of red tape and so it needs to either be an emergency or you would likely have to get pre-approved in advance.”
Huh. Lexie guessed that information was good to know in case she ever got stranded somewhere.
"Okay," she sighed. “I guess I’ll come with you."
"I'm glad." Aiden looked happy about it and added, "Emma and Xena will be joining us too."
Lexie paused. "They will?"
"Yeah. Emma and I like to do our shopping together. We get great sales that way, and can buy in bulk."
She didn’t know how to feel about that and her reluctance must have shown on her face because Aiden paused.
"Do you not want them to join us?"
"It’s not Emma I have a problem with," she admitted hesitantly.
"So it’s Xena? You don’t like her?"
Lexie thought about it. "It’s not that I don’t like her. It’s just that I get the feeling she doesn’t like me very much." After their little Arcadian excursion, Xena didn't scowl at her as often anymore when they crossed paths at the hospital. But the little girl still made it clear that there was no friendship between them.
"I don’t think she doesn’t like you," Aiden said, pinching her cheeks lightly. "I think it’s impossible for anyone not to like you, honey bee."
Lexie raised an eyebrow which made Aiden grin before he sighed.
"The thing with Xena is not about you," he said. "She's had a difficult childhood which makes her put up walls. She's not great with people either, especially with people like us."
“Yeah, I know. She told me how her parents died, and I get why she would hate [Heroes]. But you're not even a [Hero] anymore, and I was never a [Hero] in the first place." Lexie tried to remind herself that grief wasn't exactly rational and being young, Xena was allowed to handle her problems irrationally. But still. "I mean I get it. It's fine that she doesn't like me but it's just uncomfortable to be around her."
Lexie met Aiden's eyes and could tell there was something on the tip of his tongue.
He struggled for a second and then leaned in conspiratorially. "Okay. Don’t tell Emma I told you this. I’m only confiding in you because I know you’re not one to spread rumors, and you know I hate to gossip…”
Lexie nodded slowly even though she secretly thought her father rather loved gossip.
"About Xena...according to what the orphanage told Emma, Xena has been adopted before. In fact, she's been adopted and returned to the orphanage four times."
"Four times?" Lexie blurted. "How?"
"Emma doesn't know. She chose not to ask so it wouldn't color her opinion of her daughter, and she told Xena to talk to her about it whenever she felt like it. But yes, I think something like that might have worsened Xena's predisposition for building walls. It will make it difficult for her to trust anyone, even if she likes them."
"Yeah." Lexie was still reeling from what she'd heard. Four canceled adoptions? Why? Sure, Xena could be annoying with her snarkiness but she didn't seem that bad. Lexie would only understand if she was some kind of creepy psychopath like that girl in that Orphan movie. But Xena was a far cry from that.
I mean she risked her life and broke into a cape party to save a boy she barely knew and a woman she won't call mom. Those are not the actions of an unadoptable psycho.
"This really wasn't my story to tell, so you should be discreet with it," he said. "I just wanted you to understand Xena better. And even though I still think she's a bad influence on you, I personally think you should keep an open mind when it comes to her."
Lexie stared into Aiden's eyes and slowly picked at her sweatpants. She'd always found it difficult to make friends growing up. Partly because she didn't have time for friendship, nor the energy. Mostly, she felt like a zombie moving from class to class, homework to homework, doing things that felt important but not really, not in the grand scheme of things.
If not for Mickie's persistence, Lexie wouldn't have friends at all. And even with Mickie, their last year of friendship was strained by Lexie's focus on getting into MIT. She'd had to cancel plans to finish papers, couldn't focus when Mickie would talk about her boy problems, and truly found it hard to care about anything. It was a wonder Mickie had stuck around that long. No other person would have.
Lexie unintentionally pushed people away too, so in a way, she could understand Xena.
People at her old high school probably thought Lexie was standoffish too. They thought that she was a smart loner who didn't want or need companionship. It was the aura she gave off.
But truly, Lexie had actually wanted friends. A lot.
Lexie finally nodded to her father. "Fine. I'll keep an open mind."
***
The shopping trip was uneventful.
Emma was nice and friendly as always while Xena stayed mostly on her pad watching yet another fight. She completely ignored Lexie’s existence and Lexie’s attempts to start conversations about the fight fell flat.
Lexie could take a hint so she focused on Emma and her father's conversation, in which they appeared to be gossiping about a love triangle going on at the Green Fox retirement home.
At a point, Lexie's mind wandered back to the cards. It bothered her that she wasn't advancing fast enough. Even though Aiden often commended her skill, she thought as a pre-awakened daughter of a magical prodigy, this would be a lot faster. At this rate, it would be forever before she learned any card crafting.
She also had a thought that maybe Aiden was intentionally slowing her down and putting limits on her because he didn't want her to advance too quickly. He'd implied as much many times, telling her he didn't want to grow up fast and such.
Maybe there were other ways to do this faster that he wasn't telling her.
So Lexie decided to use some of the time out shopping to go on the NET to research on how to reduce her activation time.
She found articles discussing different mana-shaping techniques and their percentage efficacy. One of them looked like a college scientific paper, and used all sorts of foreign vocabulary, that Lexie either had to look up or glean the meaning of just by reading the abstract (the full article needed a Scholar ID).
She bookmarked the page and went on to the next.
She also found a video about cardless meditation techniques that were said to help speed up activation. She bookmarked that for later too.
And then somewhere in her research, she came up on the concept of deadrooms.
Apparently, when a high powered dungeon portal disappeared from an area, it sucked out all the mana from the spawn spot, leaving that spot mana-empty. These were known as deadspots, spots in the atmosphere that were bereft of mana, and they actively repelled mana so the mana particles in the air moved around them.
Back in the day, mages would often congregate at these dead spots and use them to practice both internal and external mana shaping as well as mana cloud movement. The dead spots made it easier to shape internal mana and be more aware of it. But it also made it harder to shape external mana, so that way one could train both muscles simultaneously in different ways.
Now using this concept, a few mage-scientists created what became known as deadrooms. They were rooms that looked like pc rooms but they simulated deadspots using artificially created tools to repel mana. A few major cities, like Arcadia, had deadroom rentals in malls and city centers. The only problem was that it was far too expensive.
Aiden had shown Lexie how to open her credit account and he gave her about a fifty credits a month, apologetically telling her that it was all he could afford. Lexie didn't mind the amount and she told Aiden it was fine because she didn't want him to feel bad. But looking at it now, she would have to save for at least ten months to be able to rent an hour at the deadroom.
Damn.
Later that night after dinner and helping Aiden clear the table for the second time, which earned her a smile from him, she went upstairs. And after she was sure he thought she was in bed, she watched the meditation video. She mimicked as she watched, trying to feel the mana in her body and move it around without using cards. It was infinitesimally harder, but she kept trying, concentrating, focusing until she gave herself a headache.
In the end, she wasn't sure she moved the cloud so much as an inch.
But she kept trying for hours later until her muscles felt sore from being clenched in concentration and her brain hurt. Then she switched over to watch some organized violence, and dozed off.
***
The next morning, Lexie woke up early to do meditation, shaping and cloud-awareness exercises. She did it for two hours straight and then did some more reading on the NET about activation times. They suggested potions and deadrooms were fastest way to cut down activation times.
Lexie knew she couldn’t afford either but she had another idea.
She jogged down the stairs eagerly, already smelling the pumpernickel in the air. Aiden said he was baking pumpernickel bread today.
When she got there, she walked to the counter right next to his aproned form. Salivating, she reached for a roll on the bread cooling machine, only to have Aiden tap the back of her hand with a spatula.
“Hey," she protested.
“Wait till they cool down,” he said, amused. “Or you’re gonna burn your tongue.”
"Oh." Lexie shifted from one foot to the other. “After we’re done can we go for a walk? I wanna see if I can find a deadspot."
He gave her an amused look. "Who told you about deadspots?"
"The NET," she responded. "Are there any close by? Maybe that last unstable dungeon that Uncle Max destroyed left one behind."
"No,” he said, dashing her hopes. He picked up a bread roll, made sure it was cool enough and then handed it to her. She took it eagerly. “That dungeon was far too weak to create a complete deadspot. And you shouldn't be going to dead spots anyway at your age. Besides, we’ll have to spend some time today getting you ready for school next week."
“School?” Lexie squeaked, nearly dropping her bread roll. “I have to go to school?”
“Of course,” Aiden blinked as put the freshly baked bread down to cool. “Did you think you wouldn’t have to?”
Lexie hadn't really considered it. Despite what Luther had said, her only thought had been to stay home, study the cards with Aiden, and try to change her pre-affixation before System Day.
Speaking of which she still had to ask Aiden about that...
“You’ve missed quite a bit, but they understood because you were incapacitated,” he said. “But I’m afraid now that everyone knows that you’re awake, especially with Luther knowing about it, there will be problems if they think that I’m shirking your education which every child is entitled to by law. I could get into trouble for that.”
“Aw." She deflated and almost wasn’t even as excited about the bread anymore.
Almost.
She bit into it, melancholically.
It was still soft and tasty though.
Aiden ruffled her hair before turning back to the counter. “I know it will be difficult at first, but I let them know that you lost your memory so you'll be given some time and extra help to catch up.”
That wasn’t the problem, although now that she thought about it, it did present a different type of problem.
Lexie had always been one of the best in all her classes, but now she was tackling a curriculum from a new world that she wasn't born in. Undoubtedly, there would be things she didn't understand or simply didn't know. Things she would fail at, questions she couldn’t answer.
The thought sent shivers down her spine, anxiety knotting her gut.
While she had an irrational fear of looking stupid in general, she had a very rational fear of looking stupid in front of middle schoolers.
They're not technically real people, she tried to comfort herself by saying, So it doesn't matter if I look stupid.
Still. The anxiety remained.
The second issue was time. She assumed that things like history and science and maybe even math would be different in this world that had magic. That would mean swaths of new information she would have to learn. And that would undoubtedly cut into her card lessons.
“What school do I go to?” she asked.
"Everstone Elementary. It’s in Arcadia."
“That far?” she asked and he nodded.
“Well, not too many kids in Hovelton so not too many schools. It’s kind of a retirement community. But Everstone is a good school. One of the best in Arcadia."
She sighed. Great. So she was going to school as the weird girl who lived in another town full of older people and who also lost her memories and was maybe stupid. This was going to be fun.
“So I’ll need to take the train?”
“Well, not unless you want to. There’s a separate bussing system and we can request them to pick you up."
"I think I’d rather take the train," she said quickly. She’d done bussing once in middle school. She was lucky to make it out sane.
"You only really have to attend classes in person two times a week," Aiden continued. "The rest of the study is through NET video conferencing so you'll still be home most of the time.”
“Ah.” That was convenient and made her feel slightly better. “Why isn’t the whole thing just done through the NET then? Seems like that would be a lot more convenient.”
“Because going to school is good for developing interpersonal interaction,” he said, pointedly looking at her. “You can’t avoid the world forever Lex. Eventually, you have to start living in it.”
Lexie frowned
Once again, she had no clue what he was talking about.
