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173 - Revisiting
🕑 Added 2025-08-26 01:40:47 +0000 UTCAs always, the first thing Lexie could sense from Ganor's soul was waves of violence and rage, battering her mercilessly.
It was a different type of rage than she’d felt before with the other creatures she’d soul-touched. Here, the violence wasn’t linked to any feelings of injustice or pleasure, and it wasn’t peripheral to any other emotion or story.
Here, the violence was simply the point.
It was the central emotion with nothing else surrounding it. It was both the lighthouse and the sea, and it swarmed her with no rhyme or reason and no other overarching theme.
That was part of what made it so hard for Lexie to accept and connect with.
There was no other point to the killing and slaughtering, turning the ground red with blood. She was also being slaughtered herself. The pain of being cut down, again and again, began to wear on Lexie's nerves, even as the scenes flashed in her mind. She saw skin rending from bone, saw someone hacked open with an axe, and watched blood and innards pouring out like sewage, thick and chunky.
It all happened on a red planet filled with nothing but rock and stained with blood and the organs everywhere. Lexie wanted to hurl just looking at it. The metallic scent of blood, the sight of it everywhere, disgusted her, frightened her, and made her want to flee.
There was no justification for her to hold onto, to lighten the blow. There was a thirst for revenge and really no desire to feed on others' suffering. It was just violence for its own sake. Nothing more, nothing less.
Lexie didn't get it. She couldn't get it.
Mostly, she held her breath and weathered the storm that rolled over her head. She closed her eyes and waited till it was over. The mental block persisted because she was afraid of what would happen if she were not to hold herself so tightly. She was afraid she would get lost in this soul forever and never come out.
But then she remembered Naem’s voice and what he told her during that first session with the V’Sala.
She had to let go.
So she did.
And it got a billion times worse.
The violence was exploding from her skin now. It scored her soul raw, and suddenly, the attacks on her magnified.
It felt like armies, legions, and entire populations were besieging, and they were all coming for her.
Lexie screamed as their arrows reached her first, piercing her stomach, their swords hewing her limbs, and daggers slicing her neck.
This was usually where Naem would pull her out because she would be screaming too much from the pain. But this time, she made herself stop screaming. She struggled to swallow it back and block out the pain.
When that didn't work, she groaned and desperately searched for something to hold onto, a reason to stay.
She couldn’t find it. Everything inside her wanted to leave. But she didn't.
She stayed there for so long, being stabbed over and over, and being driven mad with phantom attacks.
Yet she stayed.
She stayed and began to wonder if Naem had made a mistake. Maybe she wasn’t a part of this soul line at all. There was nothing here she could use to anchor herself, nothing she could relate to. Unlike the V’Sala, where Lexie was scared of seeing herself, here she searched fervently for an emotion that resembled her, even if it was an ugly one. She couldn’t find it. Ganor was not sadistic. The violence wasn’t a means to find pleasure as much as it was its purpose. It was a duty, but there was something deeper than that, a few things she was missing.
Focus, Lexie told herself. Stop thinking. Just perceive. Feel what you’re supposed to do in this moment and be who you're supposed to be.
Lexie stayed there, accepting that the pain would just have to keep coming and the violence would just keep being felt until it was done. So what if she was damaged for some time? And what if she went through agony forever? '
Maybe it was what needed to be. Maybe it was what would force her to grow and to get the power she needed to get.
With that, she got her first spark of something.
There it was floating over in his soul. Even the tiny spark felt far more vast and complex than what Lexie was used to. She was trying to take it all in, but it was too much to take in everything at once. She needed to take it one at a time.
She touched it, meditated. The image got clearer the longer she spent in that trance. The attacks she couldn't see before in the fog were now smoke figures coming for her, turning into vaguely humanoid creatures. They had anger on their faces, but Lexie didn't care about any of that.
She would kill them all. It was the only way to survive.
Lexie got up. A shadow sword formed in her hand. She knew then that, despite the pain, she wasn’t supposed to just sit there and take it. She was an Orc.
She did not merely accept chaos. She was the chaos.
She was not to live in fear of anyone.
They were to live in fear of her.
As the next shadow came, Lexie thrust her sword towards it. It cut clean through, and she thought she might have heard a hiss of pain before the shadow was split into two.
There were now two attackers to replace one.
She held the sword with both hands and slashed at another shadow creature and another. The more she cut down, the more they multiplied, and the more she had to fight.
She kept going.
There was no style in her aggression. She was attacking the first thing to cross her path and cutting them with her sword. It wasn’t an efficient system, but there was no room for efficiency here.
There wasn't even room for logic.
If she thought about it, she was only creating more enemies for herself, magnifying her pain.
Her enemies grew stronger and more plentiful, and some of the attacks were painful enough that Lexie wanted to vomit. One blow laid her out on her back.
But she got back up and kept fighting, snarling as she did.
The fighting was the point.
The pain was the point.
It was the only way to potentially save her Uncle Max.
So she kept fighting, even as the shadow creatures grew larger and more intimidating.
But Lexie was also getting stronger.
Each time she got up, she felt the power coursing through her body. Her swings became more true and her style improved.
She was faster, more agile, and now she could kill more than one at a time.
She didn’t know how long she had been fighting for. It felt endless, dropping to the ground, getting back up. Everything else faded to the background.
This was it, the purpose. She was focused on her goal, which was to kill everyone and everything that stood in her way. Not because they offended her. Simply because they were weak.
Only the strong survive. The weak should die.
It was the way of the world, the right way.
There was no light at the end of the tunnel, or rather, there wasn’t even really much of a tunnel. Lexie finally accepted that she would be here forever, fighting.
The violence was brewing the purest energy, and that was her purpose. It made her stronger. It was her light.
She would keep fighting until she could not fight anymore, and someone better would take her place.
It was the way of the world.
“Alright.” Lexie heard Naem’s voice as she was pulled out of the soul. Lexie’s gasping breath resounded and echoed in the cave as Ganor grunted, “Not bad. For a puny human.”
“Did I do it?” Lexie asked Naem, and her stomach sank when she shook her head.
“No, but you did do very well. You made more progress than the last two times,” he said. “The problem is Ganor's soul is simply too extensive for you to grasp it all in one go. Nevertheless, I’m pleased with your progress today.”
“So does that mean you’re going to show me what the void card does?”
Naem hesitated. “I don’t think you’re strong enough yet. If the card does something to harm your soul, it will be complicated to put it back together. I don’t think it’s something you’re supposed to use except in dire situations.”
“But how can I use it if I’m not even sure what it does?”
“We can study it,” Naem said. “If you insist, I might be able to help you trace its possible use, but apart from that, you should wait till you're stronger and have more Eldritch understanding to try it."
Lexie sighed in disappointment. "Alright."
After they left the cave, Naem asked Lexie, “Did you ever wonder why the Fae spend so much of their time fighting the Orcs?”
Lexie thought about it, then shook her head. Like most people on Earth, she’d assumed it had something to do with the Orc’s natural propensity for violence and destruction.
“It’s simple,” Naem said. “The Orcs are the closest beings, apart from the Eldritch, to chaos. And what do we know about chaos?”
“Magic comes from chaos.”
“Which makes the orcs extremely capable of powerful magic,” he said, “Their magic comes from violence, and though it comes easily to them, they often don’t even grasp the full potential of their power, which is the only reason they lost so many battles. None except Ganor ever took the time to learn why and how their magic worked, but despite the Orcs' ignorance, it's still quite difficult for the Fae to destroy them. The Orcan planet has been standing for millennia uncolonized despite the Fae's fervent efforts. It took hordes of Fae armies to take Ganor down. I’m saying this in order to warn you of what is to come.”
Lexie was nodding along to his story and paused. “Wait, I’m confused. Are you warning me about Ganor, or are you warning me about the Fae?”
"Both." Naem gave her a long look before he walked ahead.
***
The next morning, Lexie had lessons with Theo, learning how to control the pathways attached to her fire. Torin came up on them doing the exercise, and he frowned and asked, “What are the two of you doing?”
“Meditating,” Lexie and Theo chorused.
“Why does your meditation look like fire control exercises?”
Lexie looked at Theo, and Theo looked back at her and shrugged. “Why not?”
Torin narrowed his eyes, but ultimately he said nothing and went somewhere else to train.
Lexie also kept her promise and went to visit Xena and Dewie after breakfast. She used a teleportation orb that she got from Theo and appeared in the grass right outside Xena's house.
Emma was walking out when Lexie materialized, and she screamed and dropped her sandwich.
"Lexie!" She put a hand on her chest. "Don't scare me like that!"
"Sorry," Lexie said. "And sorry about your sandwich."
"It's okay, it wasn't very good. Aw, my little squirrel, I've missed you. Come here, let me give you a hug."
Lexie obliged, enjoying the warm and septic-smelling hug.
Then she went upstairs, where Xena and Dewie already were because Dewie slept over, and flung herself on the bed.
She spent most of the day with her friends, explaining what had happened yesterday (excluding the attack and all the other super secret stuff) and talking about the AFC fights. Lexie wanted to keep things lighthearted, so she didn't mention her Uncle yet. It was also because, well, she didn't want to jinx it until they found something more concrete. She also didn't mention much about Tate except that he wasn't well and he was staying with her dad. Xena wanted to go meet him, but Lexie didn't think Tate would appreciate that, so she postponed their meeting.
Apart from that, they also spent time walking around town, visiting old friends like Terry, Glinda, Frank, and Maywheather, and of course, the nurses at the healing house. Then, they took the train to the Arcadian Mall, just like old times.
It was great spending time with her friends, but at the back of Lexie's mind, she kept thinking about her Uncle Max. Stella confirmed that morning that the search team had gone into the dungeon to look for him, and she would be the first to receive news if they found anything. But she also told Lexie that it was likely that they wouldn’t find him at all, or they wouldn't find him alive.
As pessimistic as it sounded, Lexie expected them not to find him.
If it were that easy, Uncle Max would be out already. But she wasn’t ready to entertain the idea that Max was dead. Not until she saw a body.
Deep inside, she still felt like the eyepatch was a sign, despite Tate's warning.
Lexie knew she would find her Uncle Mx.
Before she went back to the Firebringer Residence later that evening, Lxie stopped by to visit her dad and Tate.
Tate was reportedly asleep when she got there. According to her dad, he'd drunk some Muan tea last night, eaten enough food to feed ten horses, and conked out in bed.
He'd been sleeping like the dead ever since.
“He must have been exhausted,” Aiden said. “Since he seemed to like the muan tea yesterday, I'm going to make him some more herbal teas to try today. Maybe some with vanilla and honey. He seems to have a sweet tooth."
“Really?”
"Yes. We had cake for dessert yesterday, and I could tell he wanted more, but he was too shy to ask for it."
Shy wouldn't have been the word Lexie used to describe Tate, but she realized that often his prickliness was a cover for shyness.
Lexie and Aiden went up to find Tate fast asleep on a pile of pillows, under Lexie's floral pink bed covers. An empty potion bottle was on the table beside him.
“I don’t want him to get too dependent on ready-made pain potions, so I’m brewing something that has lower adverse effects," Aiden said. "I'm having Abernathy make some right now.”
"Abernathy? He's making potions by himself now?"
“Yes, some of the less risky ones. He's very sharp and extremely hardworking. He's actually at the Healing House right now with Emma and co."
"Really?" Lexie's eyes widened. "Aw, man. I was just there. I could have said hi."
"Next time," Aiden said. "It's getting late."
Lexie knew that was her dad signalling that she should be heading back to the Firebringers. She'd come with just Ralph for security today, and while he was invisible most of the day, Lexie told her dad he was there. Aiden still wasn't satisfied.
Their standoff was interrupted when Tate groaned and shifted. Lexie's bed cover slipped off his shoulder, and he shivered. Aiden moved instantly to shift it back in place, finishing off with an automatic and familiar gentle pat.
Then, they retreated and closed the door, leaving Tate to his rest.
"Before I go," Lexie said. "I have a question."
Aiden stiffened. He probably recalled there was a pending conversation about Lexie potentially going to the dungeon with the search party. Aiden himself was trying to work it out so he could join them tomorrow or go on his own when no one was there. Lexie wanted to go with him, but she knew he would say no, and she didn't want to argue right now, mostly because Ralph was right outside.
“Why can’t people teleport out of dungeons?” she asked instead. “Teleportation orbs don’t work, but neither does regular teleportation?”
“That’s correct," Aiden said.
“Why not?”
“Do you remember what you learned about why free teleportation isn’t allowed?”
It took Lexie a few seconds of pursing her lips and staring at the ceiling to remember. “Because you could get lost in time and space….something like that?”
“Yes. The way we practice teleportation now is to prevent that. Teleportation, as we know it, is a mathematical equation that has us travelling from one end to the other without going through all the touch points in between. It's a shift through space and time, but it's like you're holding one end of a rope and being tugged to the other end. There's an equation that essentially acts as the rope, telling how and where to tug so you don't end up lost. As long as you do everything correctly, you should be fine.
Now, this equation used in the skill is actually quite complex, but the good thing is that, on Earth, we’ve already figured out enough of the constants that we essentially just have a predetermined calculator, and all we have to do is plug in coordinates. So you just draw the teleportation runes wherever you need to go, marking them. Then once you activate the skill correctly, the runes should drag you there."
"That's what happens?"
"It's a simplified version, but yes."
"What about people who don't use that?" Lexie asked. "A girl in my class can teleport you within a few feet from wherever she is, and she doesn't have predetermined runes at any of these places either. Why is that?"
"That's another method of teleportation called tethering. It can only be done by a few people, and essentially, she becomes one end of the rope and thrusts you to a predetermined distance from her location. Like a yoyo. The peculiar thing about it is that her pathways do the calculations for her, while she envisions where she wants you to go. Something like that is immensely difficult. It takes a lot of magic, and it's usually something that is trained from childhood. Tethering is one of the skills that people have to either preawakened or awakened with an affinity for."
"Oh. That makes sense."
"Yes. But for people like me who don't have that intrinsic pathway affinity, we use the runes. Or in my case, invisible runes. The runes also make sure that wherever you appear is safe. Like you're not appearing in too small a space, or right underneath a building or something."
"Yeah, that would be terrifying. Okay, so why doesn’t that work in the dungeon?”
“Because a dungeon is not Earth,” he said. “And so far, no one has been able to figure out the calculations for teleporting within a dungeon, much less in and out of one. Again, if you get the calculation wrong, you get lost in time and space and may never make your way back. It’s too dangerous to even attempt. So we let it be.”
“I see.” Lexie thought about it, but she wasn’t quite ready to let it be. She added it to the list of things that would be helpful to maybe have cards for in the future.
The other thing that she focused on was beating Garon.
The next few days, Lexie fell into a routine. In the morning, training with Torin. In the afternoon, researched card crafting and waited anxiously for any news about her Uncle. In the evening, fighting legions in Garron's soul.
Naem told her she was doing better, but in her mind, it wasn't good enough for now.
As the week's deadline edged to a close, Lexie was starting to feel even antsier and less patient. Her father had gone to check out the dungeon, and he said he'd found no evidence that Max was there. He thought it might be a trick from Vulcan, but just in case, he began to check in the surrounding areas as well, to see if maybe he could find a clue about what happened.
Lexie wasn't so sure this was a trick. She felt like they were all missing something, and if they would only let her around the dungeon at least, then she might find something.
The fact that they were doing this without her was making her crazy, and she told her dad as much. She also threatened to go on her own if they didn't agree to go with her.
That was what got Aiden's attention. He resigned and told her he would take her the next day.
But on that day, Theo burst into the room and said loudly, "I think I have information about Lucy and I need your help."
Comments
Kamso Addo-Noble
Haha, Aiden is learning. He knows his daughter. She'd probably find a way to escape surveillance. As evidenced by their past, sometimes it's better to help her do it safely than to outrightly go against her.
Alessio Mocci Guicciardi
The answer to Lexie threat to go in the dungeon alone should have been increasing the surveillance upon her. Aiden has a bit of a defeatist attitude when it comes to parenting Lexie, like he thinks he can't succesfully forbid her from doing something. Aka, Lexie always win.
Orca
Typos in his soul. in her soul. (Ganor was mentioned as being female.) Garron's soul. Ganor's soul. her Uncle. her uncle. In the afternoon, researched (either) In the afternoon, she researched (or) In the afternoon, researching beating Garon. beating Ganor. Now, this equation "Now, this equation Uncle Mx. Uncle Max. Maywheather, (I think) Mayweather, all the touch points in between. (Dunno how the math works here but maybe:) all the points in between. (or maybe) all the touched points in between. septic-smelling hug. (I really, really hope:) antiseptic-smelling hug.
