TravelingDreamer
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B7—Chapter 23: Pissbucket Justice
🕑 Added 2025-09-28 12:03:06 +0000 UTCThe flood of patients continued for another day, and then it slowed. It didn’t stop completely, but finally, the reception area was empty, and the ER was enough. I was dead tired again, hardly standing, but this time I had no intention of sleeping in the clinic. The last comedy of illogic with the couch was enough for me, thank you very much.
I slogged toward the residence Mahya and Al had rented to get some sleep. Inside, I came face-to-face with the fiery teddy bear, only in his underwear.
He glowered at me. “What are you doing here?” He lifted his hand like he wanted to push me. “Go back to wherever you came from.”
Mahya rushed out of the bedroom. “Leave Jo alone.” She pointed at a door. “Go sleep, you look like shit.”
I nodded and went to sleep. When I woke up, I was alone in the house. After a quick breakfast, I made my way back to the clinic.
On the way, Pi jumped on my back like a backpack, hugging my waist and neck, and let out a high-pitched squeal right into my ear. I didn’t need to look back to know who it was.
“The wave is over—I’m so happy—now I can rest and eat all the tasty food I didn’t eat. Did you eat tasty food during the wave? What did you eat? Why is your shirt so soft—it’s not the blue shirt, it’s gray—gray isn’t soft, but this gray is soft—why is it soft? Did you fight a lot of monsters? Why does Af hate you? Did you bring me snacks? No, wait, did you comb your hair? But maybe it’s soft too—why are you not answering me?”
She finally stopped, and I chuckled. “I was waiting for the last question before answering them all together.”
She slid off my back and walked in front of me, eyes wide, looking at me expectantly.
“Hmm, let’s see. No, I didn’t eat tasty food during the wave—no time. All my shirts are soft; I like soft shirts, and it has nothing to do with the color. Yes, we fought a lot of monsters, and I have no idea why Af hates me. I know why he’s pissed at me, but from being angry to hate there’s a big difference. And I have some interesting snacks.”
I took out a tin can of Al’s cookies and handed it to her.
She opened the can, sniffed it, plucked out a cookie, and gave it a hesitant bite. Her eyes went wide, and she hugged the can to her chest. “Now it’s mine. My present. I like presents. Did you bring me a present—oh, I know! I want soft shirts—soft shirts like yours. Do you have more? Can I have one? Can you make one for me? No, wait, do they stretch? Do they smell like cookies too?”
Again, she stared at me with those big, expectant eyes. Yeah, Pi was one of a kind, but I’d finally gotten used to her and actually liked her a lot, and not because we’d had sex. I liked her innocence and openness.
I turned back toward the rented house. “Come with me for your present.”
She squealed again. Spirits! When she did it, her voice shot up to an illogical height. She bounced on her toes, clapped her hand on the can, and followed me, talking and showering me with disconnected questions all the way. I just hummed and nodded along. Much easier that way. And I had no answer for why Skarvine had green scales while Verrak had black, or why Jibblefang smelled bad instead of like cookies.
When we got to my bedroom, I took out all the t-shirts I had that didn’t have writing on them and dumped them on the bed. Quite a lot of them were in rough shape. I kept putting them aside, intending to restore them when I had time, but I never got around to it. “Here are all the soft shirts I have. Choose three you like. Even if they’re torn, I can fix them, so don’t worry about that.”
I got another squeal and some toe-bouncing. She inspected all my t-shirts one by one. It took her more than an hour, and she didn’t ask me a single question. It was almost unsettling. Finally, she chose three: a red t-shirt from China with a print of the Terracotta Army, one from Canada with a tiger and a moose playing hockey on the back, and a black Pink Floyd t-shirt with the Dark Side of the Moon logo. Still no verbal flood. I even considered checking her temperature.
I channeled Restore and brought the t-shirts back to new condition, and she pounced on me, knocking me back on the bed with another squeal before kissing me and tugging at my clothes.
When she stopped to take a breath, I said, “I thought you didn’t do repeats.”
She gave me the look. “That was during the wave. Now it’s after the wave.”
I didn’t argue with her logic. No matter what Mahya said, I was not an idiot.
We spent the rest of the day having fun. At some point, I felt Mahya and Rue return, and later Al, but they didn’t bother me, and I didn’t bother them. Pi stayed the night as well, but when I woke up, she was gone. I shrugged, made breakfast and coffee only for myself since everybody was gone again, and went back to the clinic.
Again, when I arrived, Len looked at me with big eyes and rushed out of the room.
Enough was enough.
I followed her and caught up to her beside the linen storage room. “Len, wait.”
She looked back, yelped, and stopped, her head bowed, eyes fixed on the floor.
I lifted her chin with my hand and met her gaze. “Did I do something to offend you?”
Her eyes widened, and she turned her face away, staring at the ground again. “No.”
“So why are you acting strange?”
She began inching backward, her feet dragging like she wanted to escape.
“Len, stop,” I said, softening my voice. “Whatever it is, let’s deal with it. I don’t know what I did to make you act this way, and I promise I won’t be angry if it’s something you did.”
She studied my face with a hesitant expression, searching it for a few seconds. Finally, she took a deep breath, nodded, and dropped her gaze once more. “I belong to House Pelmen.” She shook her head. “I don’t belong to the actual house. One of their healers took me as an apprentice until I got the Healer Class, and now they own me for ten years. I told them about you.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think they would try to kill you. I thought they would invite you to be part of their house.” She clutched my arm. “I swear on the goddess I did it with good intentions. I wanted to help you get an invitation into a house.” By this point, she was sobbing.
I pulled her into a hug, and she cried into my shoulder. When she finally calmed down, I said, “It’s alright. I don’t blame you, and I’m not angry. Besides, I’m not that easy to kill.”
She gave a shaky giggle. “Yes. I know. I saw how you stopped the swarm. Everybody knows that now.”
I held both her hands. “I’m not angry, and I don’t blame you. It’s fine.”
“You promise?”
“Yes.”
She hugged me again and whispered, “Thank you.”
That drama handled, I could go back to healing people.
For the rest of the day, I healed people, but it was clear we had reached the end of the wave. No new patients arrived. I finished in the late afternoon and headed back to the rented house. It seemed like a good idea to take a day off before starting to regrow limbs. I had a lot of limbs to regrow.
Halfway to the house, Af caught up to me. “Come with me. The post leader wants to see you,” he barked.
I received a warning from my Luck, but it was so mild that it felt like a gentle breeze.
For a second, I thought about refusing him, but my cursed curiosity flared in full force. I really wanted to know what he had cooked up. And it definitely was something he had cooked up, not the leader.
I nodded, changed direction, and followed him. Af walked with a neutral expression, but the waves of smugness rolling off him were almost visible. When we reached the building, he climbed the stairs without a word, and I trailed behind.
The secretary that Rabban and Sonak had fun with smiled warmly at Af, shot me a disdainful look, and waved us in.
The post leader was a surprise. I had expected a warrior, or at least someone who looked capable of handling himself. Instead, the man behind the enormous desk looked like an underfed accountant, his skin sallow, his shoulders narrow, and his clothes hanging on him like a size too large.
He glared at me and turned to Af. “That’s the troublemaker?”
Af gave a shallow bow. “Yes, my lord.”
The leader turned his glare back on me. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“In what context?” I asked.
His face flared red. That was fast—light tan to tomato red in less than a second. “Don’t try to sound clever,” he snapped, pointing at Af. “You ignored the section commander’s orders. During a wave, that’s a crime. Before I pass judgment, I want to hear your excuse. Maybe it’ll be something new I haven’t heard.”
I looked at him calmly. “Hello, distinguished lord. My name is Jo Rue. Nice to meet you.”
His face grew even redder, and he opened his mouth to speak, but I didn’t give him the chance. “Do you know what my Class is?”
That stopped him short. He actually jerked his head back like I’d smacked his nose. “I didn’t ask about your Class.”
“No, you didn’t, but it’s relevant. My Class is Healer. Commander Af ordered me not to heal people, which doesn’t make any sense.” I waved a hand for emphasis. “I mean, what’s the point of having a Healer if you tell them not to heal and just let people die?”
The color drained from his face as quickly as it had appeared. I’d never seen someone switch like that—he was practically a chameleon. He turned to Af. “Is that correct?”
Af shifted from foot to foot. “Yes, but there was a breach. I ordered him to stop the breach first and then heal.”
The leader’s eyes slid back to me. “Is this correct?”
“Yes, but there’s another small point.” His eyebrows rose, so I continued. “The person I was treating was on the verge of death. He didn’t have the time to wait until the breach was handled. Besides, the rest of my team went to stop it, and I was the only one left behind to do my job. One man’s life was worth more than the single monster I might have killed before Af and his people arrived.”
The leader turned to Af. “You weren’t with them?”
“No. They flew ahead.”
That caught the leader’s interest. His whole face brightened. “You’re the group with the flying swords and the strange board for the dog?”
“Yes.”
Now he sat straighter and tried to arrange his features into something stern. He didn’t really pull it off. “Hand over the swords and the board, and you can go.”
“No,” I said firmly.
His cheeks flamed red again. “What do you mean, no? I wasn’t asking.”
“Those swords and that board, and the knowledge of how to make them, belong to my House. If House Jook wants samples or information, they can negotiate with my House. Perhaps, in exchange for details on how to build Ironcrawlers, my House might share something. Otherwise, you don’t have the right to demand secret House property.”
He leaned back, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “I’ve never heard of House Rue.”
“I belong to House Asteer on the continent of Goddess Blessing. I’m sure House Jook knows how to contact them.”
Pi had talked nonstop, most of it about food or random nonsense, but she had dropped a few useful bits along the way. One of them was her dream of being accepted into House Asteer because, in her words, “they have so much money they can bathe in it.” Of course, I didn’t ask how you’re supposed to bathe in money.
The leader tapped his finger on the desk, stopped, wrote something on a piece of paper, and nodded to himself. “You will not get paid for the help in stopping the wave, but you also will not be arrested. Right now, Af will escort you out of the outpost, and you can never work from House Jook’s outposts again.”
“I have no problem with this verdict, but I need to make a few stops on the way.” I folded my arms and kept my voice steady.
His face flushed again. For some reason, the speed with which it happened really fascinated me. It was like flipping a switch. “I said he will escort you out now!” he half shouted and smacked the table for emphasis.
“I apologize, lord, but I can’t. First of all, I’m a Cleaner, not an Eliminator. As far as I know, we are an independent organization under the king, not under House Jook. Also, during the wave, I healed more than a thousand people—” He half jumped in his chair when I said that, eyes wide. I paused to let him say something, and when he kept quiet, I continued. “So I need to collect my pay for the healing. And, of course, collect my team.”
“Your team is staying here,” Af barked.
“No, they are not. They’re not only my team, but my family. They will never stay here without me.”
“If you’re dead, they will,” Af growled and lunged.
I shot him with lightning. He froze for a heartbeat and kept charging. I blasted up under the ceiling and cast Explosive Diarrhea on him. The spell was turning out to be one of my most useful. And the Range option was great. He grabbed his stomach and folded in half, staggering and howling. I flung myself out the window to save myself from the smell, with the post leader’s shouts trailing behind me like the best music in the world. I liked making villains suffer.
First, I followed the Traveler’s feeling to the Cleaners building. When I was close enough, I sent to Al mentally, “finish whatever you’re doing. We need to bail. Also, get Mahya and Rue, they’re not in the outpost. I need to handle my payment with Fu.”
“What happened?” he asked.
“Mahya’s teddy bear tried to get me arrested, then tried to attack me. They also want the swords and the Skyrush.”
“Not good,” Al sent.
I copied his favorite expression. “Indeed.”
Fu’s secretary waved me in without a word. Inside, Fu jumped to his feet the moment he saw me, his chair scraping back against the floor. He thrust out his hand, smiling in relief. “I wanted to talk with you in the Healing Hall, but they said you left.”
“Yeah, I had a small problem I needed to handle.” I shook his hand firmly, then let it drop. “Unfortunately, it forces me to leave the outpost.”
His brows pinched. “House Pelmen again?”
“No. A section commander named Af, know him?”
“Yes.” Fu’s lip curled. “The loyal dog of Lord Mass.”
“Well, the dog tried to get me arrested, and they’re also trying to steal valuable equipment we have that belongs to another house.”
“The swords?”
My head jerked up. “How did you know?”
“Everybody heard about the swords.” He leaned closer, lowering his voice. “You should be careful. A lot of people want them.”
“Thanks for the warning. Anyway, I came to finish the business between us and will be on my way.”
Fu’s face fell with disappointment, but he nodded. He reached into a drawer and pulled out three small dungeon cores, placing them carefully on the desk. They looked pitifully tiny in his hand.
I picked them up, rolling them in my palm. Now I understood why Mahya had dismissed the local dungeons despite the world's higher mana level. They never gave the dungeons a chance to grow. The largest of the cores was almost three centimeters in diameter, while the other two were barely one and a half centimeters. Compared to Zindor, where one dungeon could equal twenty of these, maybe even thirty with the strange way cores grew in size, they were pathetic.
I spoke with Fu for a while longer, then said goodbye and turned to leave. On the stairs, I glanced around, ensuring no one could see me. The hall was empty. I turned invisible and slipped into the air. With the outpost shrinking below, I angled toward the familiar pull of Rue.
The gang was waiting for me about a kilometer from the outpost. On my way there, I scanned the area. The place had changed. A line of new white mana portals stretched right up to the outpost, and the yellow ones began only about three hundred meters out. Before the wave, the closest portals had been more than a kilometer away. I guessed that was the anomalous zone growth they had talked about, and the fight to hold it back. Yeah, if they didn’t clear those portals fast, they would upgrade to yellow.
The minute I landed, Mahya’s glare locked on me. “What exactly happened?”
“Don’t look at me like that.” I crossed my arms. “I should be the one glaring at you, not you at me. Your teddy bear tried to get me arrested or thrown out of the outpost, and he and the post leader want the swords and the Skyrush.”
She blinked at me, uncomprehending. After a few seconds, she gave her head a quick shake, braids flicking over her shoulder. “You’re serious?”
“Yep,” I said, and walked them through exactly what had happened. With each word, Mahya’s face tightened further, her eyes narrowing, her jaw clenching. I could almost see the temperature rising. I started to feel bad for the bear. I’d never had the pleasure of hooking up with a girl who wanted to kill me that badly and had the means to do it. I could literally feel waves of heat rolling off Mahya’s body. If I didn’t know about her fire affinity, it would have reminded me of old cartoons with steam coming out of the ears. Who was I kidding—it reminded me of them anyway.
“Find a good spot and wait for me,” Mahya barked, then jumped on her sword, turned invisible, and shot upward into the sky.
“I am feeling sorry for that person,” Al said quietly, watching the empty air where she’d been.
“Al silly,” Rue informed him. “Bad people need punishment.” He stomped his foot for emphasis and stuck his nose up with a huff.
Al and I exchanged a glance and smiled. Maybe my familiar was becoming bloodthirsty in a “not monster-bashing” way, but he was still the cutest.
It took Mahya almost five hours to come back. In the meantime, we found a good spot and chatted. Al told me about the alchemy work he had done in the outpost, and Rue shared a few stories about fights they had during the wave. A couple of times, spawnies thought we were easy prey, but they didn’t have a chance to regret the decision. I fried them before they got close.
Mahya finally returned, and her mood had shifted entirely. Actually, she gave off the same smug waves as the teddy bear.
“What did you do?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her grin.
“Put him to sleep with a potion, stripped him, emptied his house, broke most of his bones, wrote ‘Pissbucket’ on his back and front—by the way, Rabban is a genius—and tossed him in the middle of the street. But now we need to get out of here fast. I tried to dump him without anybody seeing me, but it didn’t work out. We should run to the Gate invisible; it would be safest.”
I laughed and shook my head, unable to help it.
Al nodded once, lips twitching. “Good.”
Rue bounded up to Mahya and gave her cheek a big wet lick. “Mahya very smart.”
We all burst out laughing at that, then turned and ran toward the Gate. Yeah, time to leave another world behind.
Comments
Silver Beard
Burning bridges... good the universe is BIG
