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A Mythical Match Up
🕑 Added 2020-01-07 05:30:20 +0000 UTC*DING DING DING*
Nathan sighed as he reached down into his jeans pocket. By now, the cheery three-note ringtone elicited a confusing, even contradictory range of emotions - hope, frustration, anticipation, resignation, curiosity and anger. He tapped the four-digit password on the screen and gazed down at the app icon. Sure enough, a tiny '1' had appeared above it. He tapped it and after a second or two's delay the screen turned bright red. The app logo then appeared above a loading bar. As he stared at it, Nathan felt an urge to delete the program.
"No, no, don't think like that," he chided himself, shaking his head sadly. "You're just..." he trailed off.
At last, the app finished loading. He was met with a photo of a gorgeous, buxom brunette with luscious red lips wearing a tight white sweater and blue jeans that hugged her legs like fishnet. She was posing on some stage; the lighting was near perfect. Ignoring what was almost certainly a fake profile, Nathan tapped on the icon in the upper right hand corner of the screen. Another photo appeared; this one captioned the words "Match!" in dramatic, cursive pink font.
Simultaneously, Nathan's heart fluttered and his stomach sank. The girl was pretty - too pretty. She was blonde, had pleasant blue eyes, a bright, beaming smile and smooth pink skin marred only by a speckle of red blemishes on her neck. She was lithe and sinewy - like a gymnast. Nathan swiped the screen and discovered her profile had no less than additional six photographs - one of her on the beach, one of her with (presumably) her parents, another of her at a club with friends, two of her at a gym, and one close-up of her duck-lipped face. Her bio was brief but did not, at least to Nathan's sadly experienced eye, appear to be fake; there were no spelling or grammatical errors and it referenced her profile's photos.
Nathan grinned humorlessly. Assuming the profile was genuine the match was, in all likelihood, a mistake; she'd swiped right when she'd meant to swipe left. He couldn't recall swiping right on her but she was one of hundreds he'd swiped right just that week.
A tremor of guilt ran through Nathan in the wake of this thought. He sighed, feeling a little worse about himself, but pressed on. He tapped the message icon and composed a friendly greeting, asking her about her vacation to Hawaii. After hitting send he tucked the cell phone in his pocket. With that out of the way, he turned back to his economics textbook. He thumbed through the chapter on antitrust policies for a little while before realizing his eyes were reflexively avoiding the text. Yawning, he shut the hefty tome, placed it on the coffee table and rose from his couch with a grunt. A sudden pressure in his bladder soon sent him scurrying to his bathroom.
Nathan glanced up at his reflection in the mirror while washing his hands. He frowned, shut off the water, leaned forward and stared at himself. Though not exactly fat he'd definitely put on a few pounds since starting college. The glasses didn't help either. His complexion was pretty good, however, and there was nothing particularly ugly about his nose, lips, cheeks or ears; nothing he could see, at least. The fine stubble running along the bottom portion of his oval face lent him an air of maturity rather than sloppiness. He stepped back to appraise his build. Tall, composed, a little pudge around the stomach - nothing to brag about, but nothing embarrassing.
Almost unconsciously, Nathan fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the app. There was a message for him. From the girl he'd just contacted.
Nathan hurried back to his living room and plopped down the couch. He lowered the sound on the wireless music streamer sitting on his coffee table and sent a reply. He then set his phone down for a moment to put his textbook away. By the time he returned he found there was already another message from the girl. He composed and sent another message.
This went on for minutes. Nathan asked her about her interests, hobbies, what it was like living near the beach, and more, referencing the information in her profile as much as he could without sounding too nosy. His questions were always met with brief, single sentence replies with no follow-ups. Growing a little desperate, Nathan considered half-jokingly complimenting her on her beach body but decided against it; he didn't want to come across as a creep. Then, after a pause in their message exchange, she sent another message.
'i'm sorry you seem nice and all but i'm not interested'
Nathan stared at the screen for a few seconds.
'Oh, sorry,' he typed for lack of anything better.
'i'm just not feeling a connection. hope you find someone. bye'
And with that, she unmatched him.
Nathan was used to be ghosted. It had happened to him at least a dozen times since he downloaded the app. It was frustrating and insulting but he always got over it. But this one instance, where the girl had actually bothered to verbally reject him - politely at that - felt a thousand times worse. It made little sense, but Nathan was rapidly coming to the conclusion that online dating didn't make much sense either.
"Screw this," his hissed.
He tapped the settings icon, scrolled down to the 'delete account' option and, after navigating through a pair of 'Are you sure?' windows and writing a short screed in the 'how could we improve the app' survey, deleted his profile and the program altogether.
A momentary feeling of vindication washed over him. Then...nothing.
"I'm letting this get to me," he grumbled.
Nathan leaned back on the couch, stretching his arms. He glanced back down at his phone and noticed he had accidentally opened the app store. He reached down to close it when something caught his eye.
It was a new app. Or game, more likely, given the icon consisted of a human face gazing lovingly at what appeared to be an elven or possibly some kind of cat-person face equally enamored with its counterpart. It was called 'Mythic Matches.' Weirdly intrigued, Nathan tapped the icon and read its description on the store page.
Apparently it was some kind of dating sim. It claimed it 'reached out beyond our familiar and mundane dimensions to the wondrous Realms of Shaltae.' Then, employing something called 'spirit resonance' it would connect the user with potential friends, lovers and soul-mates and allow them to chat...or more. The advert asked if the reader had ever wondered what it would be like to seduce a jinn, swap dirty jokes with a satyr, flirt with a succubus or woo a dragoness. All this and more could be possible with Mythic Matches.
Nathan chuckled. He'd never played a dating sim game before; the whole premise was a bit silly to him. Still, the design was impressive and it only cost $1.99 with no in-game purchases or advertisements. He checked its rating and reviews and found somewhat to his surprise that it had a 5.0 out of 5.0 with over 2,000 ratings. The reviews were universally positive, if not outright effusive. Many reviewers jokingly wrote that they'd found the love of their lives on Mythic Matches. Nathan didn't recognize the company that sold the app; it was some foreign name.
"What the hell," said Nathan. "Might be good for a laugh."
He tapped the 'buy' button. After confirming the purchase, scrolling through the surprisingly long end user agreement and permitting the app access to a few features of his phone he opened the newly installed game. At first the screen was black. Nathan felt the phone grow curiously warm in his hand. Then, the game's logo faded in and out.
A textbox appeared. The windows resembled carved stone blocks while the font was written in a runic style with glowing green letters.
'Welcome to the Realms of Shaltae! Our exquisitely woven thaumaturgic formulae have already pierced the veil separating our realities and found harmonic souls. You may find a new friend, confidant, sweetheart or even your true love. To commune with the denizens of our world, simply touch their portrait. New matches may reveal themselves in time as others in the Realms open their hearts to us. Be polite, honest, but bold! Our clients seek companions who intrigue, impress, and excite.'
"Okay," said Nathan, bemused. He tapped the screen again. The textbox vanished, revealing a set of portraits aligned along the screen like playing cards. Nathan raised an eyebrow. The illustrations were amazingly detailed and life-like. They weren't CG or products of photomanipulation but every so often, from the right angle, his eyes swore they were taken from life. Sure enough, each one depicted a being taken right out of a fairy tale or fantasy novel. He swiped through a few. There was a comely, yellow-haired elven woman named Terresia'l Llyewea wearing an elaborate emerald dress with gold trimmings posing in a stately forest, a dusky-skinned dryad named Autumnal with long black tresses adorned with yellow and red leaves dressed in a scandalously revealing negligee, a wild yet alluring anthropomorphic feline named Myli with tawny fur with black highlights, striking green eyes and a mischievous toothy grin; she was encased in a tight leather bodice.
"They sure got the 'male gaze' thing down," said Nathan, rolling his eyes. He paused. "Isn't there usually more of a plot with these things? Like, you're the new transfer student or...some kind of ambassador for humans?"
He browsed through other potential matches. Some were rather...exotic. One of the portraits displayed a woman with the lower body of a wolf - some sort of wolf centaur. Another featured a naga. Her entire body was coated with fiery orange scales, including her considerable, naked bust.
Then there was the dragon. Or dragon-woman. She was humanoid, vaguely, standing proudly upright on digitigrade feet, scaled, like the naga, albeit with thicker, jade green scales, some of which resembled plate mail. Though there was nothing in the illustration that conveyed her size by comparison it was still somehow clear that she was massive, if not actually gigantic. She wore some kind of steel top, more for modesty's sake than actual protection by the looks of it. Though given the amount of cleavage it displayed it could hardly be called modest. She also wore a golden necklace studded with clear gems. Diamonds, maybe. Her face was reptilian but not monstrous. In fact, she was quite...cute. She sported a short, beak-like snout continuous with her muzzle, which was fixed in a bright smile, long pointed ears flanking twin petite ivory-white horns, and large, expressive blue eyes. She had hair, oddly enough - long, beautiful, silky black hair. Nathan noticed a pair of wings furled behind her. Her name was Melinanatha.
On a whim, Nathan tapped on her portrait. Her image expanded to fill the entire screen and then a small profile box appeared beneath it.
"I am Melinanatha of the brood of Saskalisssundra and Girgnasharak," he read. "I hold domain over the peak of Valt, the keep of Northcliff, the hamlet of Snails' Rest, the copper mines beneath them and the Trading House of the Green Claw. I have consented to this curious arrangement with Mythic Matches to find interesting and worthy minds to converse with. Be warned! I demand merit from those I deign my time and will not tolerate witless boors!"
"Jeez, she's a bit...uppity," snorted Nathan. "And she looked like such a nice dragon."
Her bio continued.
"My primary concern is expanding my domain, as is my right. I prize Voludoka puzzle rods and the jade sculptures of the masters of Neer va Iosk. I adore freshly caught fish, particularly those from the sea as Valt is far removed from the oceans."
Two buttons lay underneath the profile. One said 'Contact' and the other 'Unmatch.' That was it.
"Alright," said Nathan, weirdly drawn to the character. He tapped the 'Contact' button. A second or so later a message box appeared.
"Huh, so I actually write something here?" said Nathan, surprised. "No conversation trees? How's this going to work?"
He paused, trying to think of something to say. He bit his lip. The situation felt uncomfortably similar to a recent and thoroughly unpleasant experience. Then, he shook his head, feeling foolish. It was only a game. Might as well have some fun.
'Such a sharp tongue,' he typed, mimicking the pseudo-archaic prose of the app. 'And you seemed like such a sweet young dragoness, though certainly a comely one.'
He chucked to himself and hit the send icon. He waited a few seconds. Nearly a minute passed.
"Maybe I did something wrong," he said, frowning. "Is there a tutorial or-"
A silvery chime filled the air. Melinanatha had responded.
''Sweet young dragoness?' Hah! If any in my domain dared called me that I'd have them strapped to the pillory in Snails' Rest for a day and a night. And those who would dare call my tongue sharp would consider the former a mercy. I must know the name of one so foolhardy.'
Nathan stared at the screen. "How did..." he breathed.
Then, it dawned on him. "It's some kind of advanced AI chat bot," he muttered, shaking his head in amazement. "That's why it's gotten such good reviews. I wonder how deep this goes."
'Nathan Veles,' he typed. 'And to tell the truth, the pillory doesn't sound so bad. If it were in your bedchamber rather than the town square, that is.' He actually laughed at the last bit.
Her next response came sooner than the first.
'Foolhardy indeed! I would break you in an instant. I wonder if you would still say such things were you actually standing before me, lout!'
There was a pause. Nathan decided to dial it back a bit.
'Perhaps, but I got your attention, didn't I?'
'...That you did, strange one. That you did. So, tell me of your family. Are they nobility? Royalty? Are you the scion of a trading house? Mythic Matches intimated that many of your kind are quite wealthy.'
"Wow, they really went all out here," whistled Nathan as he decided how to reply.
'My family is of middling wealth. My father is a biomedical engineer while my mother is nurse practitioner. I'm a junior in college studying economics. I hope to become a financial advisor or perhaps a lawyer specializing in business law.'
'I...admit I did not follow all of that, Nathan,' replied Melinanatha after a time.
"Guess I confused the program with that bit," said Nathan, feeling oddly proud.
'What, exactly, does a financial advisor do? Do you mean to say you will offer words of wisdom to merchants? Advise them on the worth of their goods, where to sell and where to buy? You would also help rulers establish trade treaties should you decide to pursue this business law?'
"...Or maybe I didn't," said Nathan, impressed.
'It is more complicated than that, but basically yes. Sounds mundane, I know, but I've always been fascinated by finance, trade, tariffs, stocks, that sort of thing. How wealth flows through and across nations. I also think there needs to be stronger culture of ethical practice in business.'
'Why do you say that?'
'Because the market should exist to benefit everyone, not just a few. Rewarding innovation and hard work is one thing, having innocent people suffer for other people's greed and stupidity is another.'
'My, quite an egalitarian attitude. Though the clever and the noble should always be afforded special privilege, yes? It is only fitting that society recognize our greatness.'
Nathan hesitated. "Am I about to get into a debate regarding class and free-market socioeconomics with a fantasy dating sim game?" He pushed on.
'Nobility and castes lead to resentment and stifle economic and cultural growth. I'm not saying classes don't exist in nearly every society, but no individual should be treated as inherently better or worse because of their birth or who they associate with. Everyone should be given a fair chance. If some poor but brilliant person were denied an education simply because he was lower class he might never go on to invent some groundbreaking device, benefitting everyone. By the same token, assuming everyone who is upper class deserves the special treatment they receive because they are inherently better than everyone else is stupid at best. History is full of examples of cruel, stupid or insane nobles who did far more harm than good to society. At least, in my world's history.' Nathan added the least sentence after a second's thought.
'In our Realms' history as well, Nathan of the house Veles. Ours as well. Even among the Draco, I am ashamed to say. Still, quite radical, these notions of which you speak. Foolish, even. But clearly you are at least an intelligent fool. And a bold one. My favorite kind of fool.'
Nathan actually blushed a little. "Jeez, this is freakin' incredible. The app could probably pass the Turing test."
'Foolishness, bravery, sometimes there's little difference between the two.'
'True. My, you are the first to contact me through this contrivance yet you do not disappoint.'
'Thank you, my lady. Now perhaps you could tell me a little more about yourself. Your domain?'
'My heritage and birthright, though you may protest, o champion of the common folk. It was gifted to me upon my age of ascendency by my sire. A fiefdom once managed by my family as a whole, though still vassal to the Eastern Reagent. My hoard lies in Northcliff. Though not the largest among the Draco many visitors have wept openly upon viewing its splendor. My collection of puzzle sticks is the greatest on the continent. My domain produces copper ore and, to a lesser extent, timber. My subordinates in the Trading House of the Green Claw manage its export and the import of all sundries deemed necessary in my domain. As journeyman merchant, you are no doubt interested in this?'
'Of course!'
'...In truth, and I make this confession this only because you dwell in another dimension, business has not been good as of late. Though the copper mines are as bountiful as they have been in many years every month the treasury - my hoard - grows lighter. Those in the Trading House offer no explanation save that no buyer will pay a fair price. It is quite irksome. Worrisome, in fact.'
'Is the market saturated?'
'Saturated? What do you mean?'
'I mean, is there no demand for the copper because there is already too much of it in the region.'
'Not to my knowledge. Though not as prized as gold, silver or chorcadium the workshops and foundries of the nearby city of Bellvale are ever hungry for the metal and increasingly so. And though it is far removed from my domain, the shipwrights of the coast pay handsome sums for every ingot; thus my house maintains trade routes with them. Whispers in distant courts say the patrician of Do va Iosk plans to construct a grand new fleet early next year.'
"Hmmm," said Nathan. Wheels in his head began to turn.
'Do you have many competitors? Other copper mines in the region?'
'Yes. One is quite large though distant - a dwarven stronghold.'
'There are several possible explanations why copper prices are dropping. The most likely one is that the market really is saturated. You may simply be producing too much of the stuff. You said the mines have been productive lately.'
'That is impossible. Though I am loath to admit...my mine could not hope to produce such a surfeit. Not in eight seasons.'
'Then someone else could be flooding the market.' Something that Melinanatha mentioned earlier clicked in Nathan's head. 'Maybe they're doing it on purpose. Selling the copper at below the cost to mine it. They're dumping.'
'What? That is ridiculous. Why would anyone pursue such a self-destructive agenda?'
'To lower the price of copper. It would drive competitors, you, for example, out of business or at least weaken them. And once the price stabilizes they'd have a larger share of the market, maybe even a monopoly. Yes, it would be damaging in the short term but could pay off in the long term. You said there's a rumor going around that some ruler wants to build a large fleet? Maybe they've heard about this. If they could corner the market on copper before construction began they could set the price and make a fortune.'
There was no response from Melinanatha for a time.
'This is just guesswork based on limited information, of course,' clarified Nathan. 'I'd need to know more about the market to give a more definitive answer. There could be other reasons why the price is dropping. If someone is dumping, well, it's unethical - the sort of thing I want to fight against once I get my degree.'
'I suspected some malfeasance was at play,' replied Melinanatha at last. 'Who could it be? The dwarves? Carrowick? Perhaps someone in my own house is a conspirator! It would explain their reticence in the matter. I must investigate at once. Heads will roll!'
Nathan laughed.
'Easy, easy. Whoever's dumping, if there is any dumping, is probably too powerful to fight. The smart move would be to stockpile copper until prices recover or better yet, rise. Sell just enough to stay solvent and cut down on operating costs, at least temporarily. In the meantime you could start planning economic diversification.'
'Economic diversification? There are sphinxes who speak less opaquely than you. Explain!'
'It means grow existing industries and develop new ones. Maybe you could start milling the timber to make lumber or even finished products. Maybe you could refocus on investment, sponsor merchants caravans, that sort of thing. You'd be less vulnerable to fluctuations in the price of copper and have more options. Even if there's no dumping going on, it couldn't hurt.'
Again, there was a long pause before Melinanatha sent a response.
'I must think upon this.' Then, she sent another message. 'No, I must learn more. Though you are young and brash your counsel rings true. And...I thank you. Yet conversation through this contrivance is cumbersome. We must speak face to face. Therefore I, Melinanatha of Valt, lady of Northcliff and Snail's Rest, deign to meet you, Nathan of the house Veles.'
Another textbox appeared over Melinanatha's portrait. It read 'Melinanatha wants to meet you! Do you accept?'
"Um, okay," said Nathan. He tapped 'yes.'
The textbox vanished. Nothing else happened. As he stared at the screen, something occurred to Nathan.
"There's no way that was some bot," he said firmly. "It was an actor or something." He paused, thinking. "Wait, no, there's no way they could afford to pay that many people to sit around and pretend to be dragons and elves twenty-four seven if the app only costs two bucks. Then again..."
There was a knock at his door.
Nathan sat up on the couch. He cocked his head, frowning in puzzlement. He rose, shrugging, slipping his phone into pocket. He walked over to his front door, unlocked and opened it.
He found himself staring into a vast canyon of green-tinged cleavage.
"Greetings Nathan."
Nathan slowly looked up. His gaze eventually left his visitor's tightly pressed bosom and met a pair of sparkling blue eyes framed by a lovely reptilian visage that hovered just below the top of the doorway. Long locks of black hair that shimmered like velvet hung from the visitor's head, curling along and across her shoulders and neck, which was adorned with a golden necklace studded with what were almost certainly diamonds. Diamonds the size of cherries. A sweet, vaguely cinnamon smell hung in the air.
Melinanatha gazed down at Nathan with an aloof yet amused expression.
"I hadn't expected your home to be so...small," she purred, her voice a surprising soprano. "We simply cannot hold our tête-à-tête here. The gentleman will accompany me to Northcliff, where we shall discuss matters of import over dinner. Mythic Matches has already arranged transport." She paused. "In the meantime, we must find you more...suitable raiment. I cannot dine with one dressed in such pedestrian garb."
Nathan goggled, mouth agape. He took a step back. Impressive as Melinanatha's portrait in the app had been it did not do justice to her in person. Even hunched (so she could peer down at him through the open door) she towered over Nathan, who stood at six foot three. She wore a short, cream-colored sundress-like garment with a wide billowing skirt decorated with intricate geometric needlework. Her wrists were decked with golden bangles; ruby earrings dangled from her long, pointed ears. She was nearly as wide as the door. Not to say she was fat. Nathan spied powerful, sinewy muscles - ones that would put an Olympic weightlifter to shame - bulge beneath her scaly hide as she shifted her body. Her nearly tree-trunk thick arms ended in claw-like hands that, though fearsome-looking, also conveyed a certain feminine grace with their fluid movement. Her wings - vaguely chiropteran, tipped with horned spurs - blocked the doorway even half-furled.
Her breasts were the size of overinflated basketballs.
"But...but...you can't...this..." stuttered Nathan, shocked and bewildered.
"Tsk, no more of that," chided Melinanatha in a far friendlier tone. She reached forward and hugged Nathan who, overawed as he was, offered no resistance as she squeezed him between her considerable assets.
"So soft," she squeaked, sounding delighted. "Come now, we mustn't tarry. We only have eight hours before I must decide whether you are worthy of my hand."
"Wait, what?" cried Nathan, his voice muffled.
Melinanatha pulled him from her chest but did not let him go. Smiling, she turned, half-dragging him out of his apartment, and led him towards a glowing blue portal that had appeared mere feet from his door. Suddenly, she stopped.
"Oh, there is one other thing we need we need to pick up," she said, raising a taloned finger.
"Wha-what?" muttered Nathan in a daze.
Melinanatha's smile acquired a cruel, mischievous edge.
"A pillory."
The two vanished into the portal.
