No_Creative_Name
patreon
Chapter 246
🕑 Added 2024-10-29 04:06:03 +0000 UTCWe otariid have a duty to the rest of our folk, we have a place, and you have forgotten it. We are the strongest in the seas, while the lupine and ursine protect us on the land, the mustelid and rodentia scout out our foes. Our place is not on land, nor is it found behind the walls of the Veratocracy. You are losing yourself, and we are losing you. Please, return home. Your mother has withdrawn after Atka’s death, and we have missed your peacemaking and kind ways at home.
I love and miss you.
-Letter from Marshal Inuksuk, son of Ilnak, to Naddarah, daughter of Annah.
As my steps elongated and the distance stretched between the swarm and Atik’s cowering form, my stomach twisted ever more violently. The pleasure I had taken in picking at his weaknesses, the uncontrollable urge to twist the knife deeper and more painfully, the pride I had taken in knowing that I had permanently broken Atik physically and emotionally… I had never thought myself capable of wanting that, of being that, but there hadn’t been a sweeping, swelling Khatif feeling. It had only been… me.
All violence I’d ever inflicted, all lives I’d ever ended, all things that could be easily counted as cruel or amoral could have been justified from certain standpoints. Hunting was simple, food to eat. That was simply how life worked. When that village had led a charge on the den and we’d completely routed them, it was, again, an easy justification: kill or be killed, and entirely self-defense. I’d killed, and eventually, eaten the flesh of intelligent creatures. Fourteen bodies were being carried by my swarm at this moment with that intent. With what I knew now, with who I had already become, if I were to turn back time, I might have led the swarm to eliminate every single human in the village before our escape. That would have preserved more of the swarm, and though I’d lament it… I would have killed every human in that village, young and old, to protect my own. Perhaps that would have killed what remained of my humanity within me, but humanity was long behind me.
I didn’t enjoy the realization, but I forced myself to admit the reality that I’d consigned three (debatably) intelligent creatures to agonizing deaths and another to a lifelong handicap, and I’d do so again without hesitation to protect me and mine.
Beyond that, though… there was no reason for me to needle at Atik, to tear him down the way that I had. Only that I had enjoyed it. That was the only reason. I wasn’t driven by particular rage or anger or reason, but by sadistic enjoyment. Did I want to continue to indulge in that ugly side of me?
“Ashlani.” My name, so foreign from her tongue, startled me out of my reverie. Sybil continued once she saw my attention shift to her. “You made a decision that you would not have made before. It becomes you, as a true swarm Alpha. It was a firm statement of retribution and mercy, all in one moment.” She lightly slapped my side with her tail before walking a couple paces away where she continued to walk alongside me.
Took too was walking near me in apparent solidarity. I couldn’t help but ask, “Was it that obvious?”
Took couldn’t help but chuckle at my question. “To us, yes. The swarm, probably not.” It was uncommon to hear Took laugh, and the strangeness of it forcefully pulled at me, forcing me to focus on the positive impact I was having. The keelish swarm that I now ruled over would absolutely have been exterminated at this point were it not for me, one at the hands of the Veushten, the other by the Moonchildren. A disorganized swathe of pests could now begin to call itself a people. Learning tools, evolving as a species, finding an ancient home. That was from me.
“Look, Ash.” Shemira called me from my musing, pointing at Foire and Trai. “They’re alive because of you. Look at all them. None of us would still be alive without your guidance. You’re a killer. You killed frogs, then snakes, and deer, then humans and Redael. You’ve killed for us and will continue to do so. Stop trembling in fear because you’ve finally realized you like to do it.” She flicked her tail dismissively as I felt my scales and frills flare out around my head. “You’re a good keelish. And a good leader.” Then, she jogged off.
I began to allow myself to feel the complex swirling of emotions within me as finally the swarm approached the open fields where we had previously been ambushed. There was a cool, bone-chilling breeze blowing, the grass flowing in a liquid way, almost appearing as a vast ocean. I paused, looking over the vast plains, and let my confusing mass of emotions press, rock, shake me, but as I allowed myself to feel them, they died down in intensity. Finally, I was left with a firm stone of certainty, growing as a foundation until I could center myself on this absolute confidence in myself.
With a deep breath I forced myself from my reverie and looked around. The cold autumnal wind had begun to settle into my unmoving body, and I stiffly stretched myself and tried to warm up. Not far away, Joral stood, hesitant. I looked expectantly and he stepped forward, a sheepish but excited look on his face.
“That was… different. You’re a stronger leader now.”
“I suppose so. I’m finally making decisions instead of just letting things happen.”
Joral nodded a couple of times, seeming to have something else to say. After a moment of indecision and quiet, I spoke again.
“Joral, I trust you. I know that I haven’t shown that as well as I could have, but I do. I hold you to a higher standard than others, because I believe in you.”
He stood a little taller, almost looking comical since he was a naturally hunched individual. “Really?”
“Yeah. From tonight, everything is going to change, and I trust you to spearhead a lot of that change.”
Joral looked at me, somewhat shocked. “How… how do you want me to help you lead? I only really lead the wolfstags, and sometimes Trai’s little pack. I… I’m not like you.”
I scoffed. “No reason to fear. You’re a natural leader, and, if I wasn’t here, I’m willing to bet you would have been the one to bring the swarm together.”
Joral looked down for a moment, then, seeming to steel himself, looked up at me. “Thank you for trusting me. I won’t let you down. My friend, my leader, my Alpha.”
“Until you or I die.”
“Victory, by fang and blood.”
I almost chuckled at the old mantra, surprised by how long it had been since I’d last led the swarm with those words. Briefly with the Nanuk, then not since the Moonchildren… While I’d lost myself in my musings once again, Joral had jogged off to continue tending to the wolfstags, scratching a head here, and patting a back there. Arwa looked over at me, her tongue lolling out her mouth in a doggy grin. I gestured for her to approach, and she happily trotted towards me, where I lightly set my hands to vibrating and scratched the base of her antlers just how she liked it.
The swarm slowly settled down for the night once we’d made several hours worth of travel into the vast expanse of plains. It was just an hour or two past the middle of the night, and it would be a long while before the sun rose. With the ever-more chilling wind, the swarm huddled close together, keeping each other warm, began to sleep.
“Alpha, you need to wake up now.”
Rubbing my bleary eyes, I was first blinded by the rising sun before I looked at Sybil, whose face was set in stony severity.
“Something unknown is approaching us.”
