Michael Clark
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Butcher of Gadobhra Chapter 503
🕑 Added 2025-05-19 16:03:13 +0000 UTCThe crowd at the fountain in Sedgewick watched as the flaming chariot circled the town several times. Twice it came in for landings but its speed was too high and it was obvious the driver was having trouble with the concept of 'Slow Down.' Eventually, the Butcher leaned forward, took the reins, and pulled back gently, slowing the horses and bringing in the chariot to a bumpy but passable landing in the middle of town. The heat from the horses drove back the crowd, but didn't seem to bother the Butcher in the slightest.
Ozzy was looking fit and tanned. His bronze skin glowed and showed off his physique. "Tight hand on the reins, firm voice, and never jerk the reins at high speed. Those horses are trained well; It's you and me who are screwing things up. You're doing great on everything but landings and slowing down."
"He grinned at Ozzy and tossed his head to get the mop of bright red hair out of his eyes. "When can you teach me the trick with the sharks?"
"Stop by some time, and I'll give you a lesson. I expect you'll figure it out quickly."
"I'll keep practicing. But I'd better go, too much flammable stuff around here. I thought I was bad with fire, but every single horse in Apollo's herds is a pyromaniac and they're getting frisky." Ozzy stepped down from the chariot, and Icarus cracked the reins. The horses leaped for the sky, dragging the chariot and its waving red-headed teenage driver behind them. They almost cleared the clock tower, with one of the wheels knocking off a couple of shingles.
Ozzy looked at the crowd and said casually, "Nice kid. A little too enthusiastic, but he's young. Comes with the territory. Can you believe it's his first day driving one of Apollo's chariots?"
Suzette ran forward and hugged him tightly. Worrying about him and pretending not to worry had worn her out. "So glad you're back. I was worried it was going to be another thing like getting lost in the smoke."
He hugged her back, "It was a little tricky, but I figured it out. And I brought you back some seeds for a new strain of wheat. Should brew up nicely. The beer they had in the village was pretty unique. So was the bread."
Ben looked at the departing chariot, zooming into the sky and disappearing over the horizon. "You got a ride from someone with their learner's permit?"
Ozzy laughed, "Not quite. The kids a natural when it comes to managing heat and keeping the horses under control. We had a long talk about how I can manage my furnace better. But he needed some pointers when it came to driving a chariot. Teaching Icarus to drive counted as one of my labours. Completing those earned me a ride home. Take a look." He shared the system message with his friends and Marceline.
Ozzymandias Trollslayer has completed the following tasks for Apollo, Lord of the Elysian Fields and God of the Sun.
-Wrestled the Ur-Troll, Trostvarnax, breaking the troll's back and rendering his flesh to tallow.
-Harvested the Sun Wheat from the Elysian Fields while enduring their sweltering heat.
-Cleaned the barns of the Sun Lord and brought order to his herds.
-Saved a village of Apollo's followers from starvation.
-Laid a feast on Apollo's table that delighted the Sun God.
-Created a new recipe in Apollo's honor: Rib Sandwich of the Dawn. (Boneless elysian beef on sunwheat bread with a tangy troll sauce.)
-Taught Icarus to drive.
For completing a Hero's Labours, Ozzymandias Trollslayer is rewarded with the following: +5 Radiance, appropriate parting gifts, and the Sun God's Blessing.
Ben read the announcement and grinned. "You thought you were getting a quiet walk home, and instead got seven jobs. Seems right for a contract worker."
Rolly sniffed, "Squirmie and I are curious about the smell coming from your bag."
Ozzy patted his bag, "Good nose, as usual. I brought home some sandwiches for lunch. But anyone without some good fire resistance or a strong stomach may want to pass. Probably deadly."
Rolly licked his lips. "Worth it."
Marcy elbowed the Shepherd in the ribs. "Don't think about feeding your face quite yet. You promised me pancakes!"
"So I did, and the first batch is waiting for you in the tavern with plenty of maple syrup. Who's hungry?"
Everyone was. Over twenty newly risen players, contract workers, and god-emperors in training made their way to the tavern. Vern was vastly disappointed to find out that pancakes with maple syrup were not on his special menu. "This is unacceptable! I'm wasting away to nothing!"
The statement brought snickers or outright laughter from the entire tavern. Marcy had to admit that he was looking slightly better. Two weeks of training, abuse, and daily deaths were taking their toll on Vernon's waistline, compounded by some of the potions Suzette was feeding him in his food. Maybe in a year, he might actually be in shape. She hoped to hell it wasn't her problem then. Or if it was, the compensation was equal to putting up with him.
She noticed a few new faces entering the tavern and waved them over. "Varsil! Grab a seat and some grub, and bring your crew. I want to catch you up to speed."
The big barbarian woman from ACME HR grinned widely, "Don't have to call me more than once to a meal. I remember the food here being total crap, but that smells great." As she stuffed three pancakes into her mouth, she turned to stare at Ozzy, and a toss of her head got the attention of her crew. "Beefcake at 7 o'clock, girls. One you'll remember."
Marcy saw the predatory looks from the other women. She sighed inwardly. Adults could be so childish. "He's off limits, Varsil."
"Oh, and why is that?"
"Because I need you to get stuff done, and you have some special training coming up. Trust me, you do not want to tangle with the Butcher."
Filthyfoot nudged Varsil, "Ha! Varsil here would tangle with him at the drop of a loincloth. Most of us would, but she took the blue ribbon last time and gets first crack at a return engagement." The other members of Varsil's band agreed and began discussing their preferences for certain types of men. They were interrupted by Suzette balancing a large platter carrying plates stacked high with pancakes and pitchers of beer to the table.
"Here's breakfast. You folks look hungry. Oh, not for you, Marcy. Rolly says he has a special stack coming for you. He's taking his pancake promise very seriously."
The Vixens over into their breakfast, happy to not be eating cold trail rations. The beer disappeared before the pancakes were half done. Rolly showed up with a stack of pancakes for Marcy, which didn't look any different from the others. She shrugged and started eating, only looking up when the Vixens started making strange noises. All of them were pale and clutching their stomachs.
Suzette noticed and yelled at them, "Are you sick? I swear, there must be some bug going around in Hurlsford. Half the people showing up have the stomach flu. Run outside; I don't want to be cleaning up after you."
Marcy didn't want to see that, either. "You heard her, go find someplace safe until you feel better." They made it as far as the courtyard before the first of them fell over, followed by the rest, with Varsil enduring the pain long enough to see the headstones start appearing. Marcy had followed, curious, and so had Suzette. Varsil turned and glared at the barmaid.
"You poisoned us? Why?"
She smiled at the big barbarian. "I'm setting boundaries. After all, you work for ACME, and so do the contract workers. Your indecent suggestions might be construed as sexual harassment. I'm saving Baron Billy a big hassle. What if someone notified the ACME HR department? Think of it as the start of your special training." She snapped her fingers and Varsil fell over, dead.
Marcy stared at her, "Damn, girl. That was harsh."
Suzette shrugged, "It's not the first time they've gone after Ozzy, and some people need to be kicked by a mule to have a lesson get into their skull. Or in this case, a pinch of Iocain powder. We're on a schedule and don't need distractions. Better a quick, hard lesson on where the line is drawn."
"Are all those pancakes on the table poisoned?"
"Yes, but don't worry, Rolly will eat them. It takes a lot for him to get any new experience in Poison Resistance."
Comments
MadRat
Thx for the chappie 👍👏👏
Rainer
I think it's dove.
Findell
Huh all the extra radiance is going to unbalance him again. I wonder what he would need to do to get extra Corruption to offset it.
Engineer4God
Tank oo fur da chap!
Kensai
A hab rat/contract worker spending time traveling abroad? Inconceivable!!
Tim Nash
“The Vixens over into their breakfast,” I think you’re missing a word there somewhere
Dudedorey
Iocane powder? Has Suzette spent time in Australia?
Michael Clark
Will take a look at it. Thanks.
Kensai
I’m just amazed the contract workers aren’t behind on their TPS reports. Even though your job is butchering and standing in rivers of gore, paperwork MUST be submitted correctly. You also forget. Nithopathia, the trollwife from Chapter 335, who was an accomplished cook and Matron. She was gracious enough to cook a delicious meal for vagabonds on the road her husband dragged in. The silly Ur-Troll Trostvarnax has obviously made bad decisions, ticked off his wife and was punished for it. She must have gifted Ozzy a recipe for sauce.
NameGame
I was interested in that sandwich until "tangy troll sauce" then you lost me. Normally I'd have questions, but in this particular instance I most definitely do NOT. Suzette has been a bit fiesty lately. In game sexual harassment bad. In game murder, perfectly acceptable and within company policy. Got it. Thanks for the chapter!
Exrotes
Now that Ozzy is getting properly locked into Greek Drama I hope Artemis's hunt will get called soon. Preferably somewhere horrible and new like the Orc lands.
JC Silver
TFTC! Note: The first few paragraphs seem to be missing some lines as Icarus isn't depicted at all in the landing and his words to Ozzy seem to be coming from Ozzy's mouth instead. Also there's an additional quotation ("He grinned at Ozzy) that might have been caused by deleting a portion of the passage. Currently reads like Ozzy landed alone and starts a conversation with himself until Icarus suddenly appears.
Michael Clark
Oh, they are 100% personal reasons. :)
Kensai
New level for Lawyer Coppertwist in the making, suing the Gods for allowing an unlicensed driver to damage a Gold Gnomish Bank, plus a large deposit in the Royal Sedgewick Bank as compensatory damages. Remember, the reason most Acts of god are excused is that most gods can’t be served with suit. There is an enterprising Courier available that just might enjoy the challenge.
Andrew Denton
Sure, Suzette. You didn't have personal reasons at ALL.
