Michael Clark
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Butcher of Gadobhra Chapter 495
🕑 Added 2025-04-17 03:03:22 +0000 UTCBilly's team was now holding two meetings per week. The first was at ACME Corporate HQ in the real world, where regular progress reports were filed, projections made for the higher-ups to ignore, and TPS reports were filed on time by underlings. Having made their point and gotten the rest of the team on board, Billy, Layla, along with everyone else, showed up in proper corporate attire and behaved in a proper corporate manner. They were starting to produce money and make progress, ahead of every other corporation. Eyes within and without ACME were watching. So the work was done properly, but the real meeting and most of the work got done in Gadobhra.
The ninth floor of the ACME tower was the team's new meeting room, dominated by a large oak table, crafted by the carpenters from a fallen Oak Treant. Billy and Layla were on one side of the square table, across from the intrepid Victorian explorer, Dr. Barklight. The good doctor was excited about leading an exploration into the dark jungles of the southlands to find the fabled gold and diamond mines of the lizard empire. He'd miss his old adventuring partners, but it would hardly be fitting to tip off other corporations to their plans. Instead, he'd be filling out his party with Varsil Skullcleaver and her bloodthirsty band of female mercenaries from the HR department.
Varsil was admiring a large, jagged axe Billy had mounted on the wall of the room, a gift from the visiting priests. The jagged diamonds embedded into the blade glistened with malice, and her hands itched, wanting to grab it and find something to hit. "This is the prettiest axe I've ever seen, and a lot better use for diamonds. You have to admire a culture that uses them for weapons, not jewelry."
"I admire anyone who has such a surplus of hundred-carat diamonds that they can use them for weapons like that. And didn't all of the large lizards have weapons like this?"
Dr. Barklight had been amazed by the axe and immediately assigned their wizard, Karl Grimwold, with the task of researching the diamond markets in the Empire.
Layla answered him, "Most of them do. That axe has twenty-one diamonds in it. My guard uses slightly smaller axes with only fifteen 'rock-teeth', their word for them. Any of them above a common trooper will have at least one diamond in their axe. Billy had found out that they only have one diamond mine, but it's a big one. The tribe that held it commanded a large troop of warriors and a training ground for soldiers.
"Gaining control of the mine will be a priority, but we aren't going in without better information. If we can take it with politics or a surprise attack, that's better than slugging it out with them. And Karl? Be careful in your research. Besides corporations, we have to worry about players and treasure hunters. Be discreet about your inquiries. Say it's one diamond, from a huge treasure chest from the Pit of the Butcher. A little advertising never hurts."
Karl made notes in the back of his spellbook. The head of the ACME Game Design division was currently a level two wizard studying Fire spells. He was spending a lot more time at the local Mage's Guild than he was on Bunny Hill. The amount of lore the local guild held was amazing and a lure he had trouble resisting. He spent most of his time there, reading about spellcraft and discussing theory with the Guild Mistress.
Beside him was a hard-bitten young warrior wearing standard mercenary armor. Vice President Thune had embraced the game with enthusiasm and had hit level five the night before, along with scoring twenty Enhancement Points. He and his squads had also died to a man, torn apart by sharp undead teeth. "This may be getting ahead of things, but we should also look into whether we can hire or train a diamond cutter. It may be easier to market smaller gems, and many large ones will have flaws."
Karl looked up from his scribbling. "Are there dwarves we could ask? Usually in fantasy games and books, dwarves are experts at appraising and cutting gems." No one knew the answer to that question. Karl made a note to have someone in his division try to make a dwarven character and take gemcutting as a skill.
Billy only knew of one dwarf, and he grew peppers for a living. "Things to think about, for sure. But for now, we need to focus on the expedition, led by the indomitable Vice President Vernon Throckmorton. I have very good news on that front. His training is going well, and our Captain of Mercenaries is doing a fine job, with a healthy assist from some of my experts. They first focused on anything that would keep him alive, and then certain skills to create the image we want him to have. Take a look. They even managed to knock a few years off of him. He's earned a chunk of Enhancement points, but those mostly went toward his stats to overcome his negative modifiers."
Vernon Throckmeyer
Titles:
Unca Varn, challenger of the God-Emperor.
Destined for Greatness. (Bonus Advancement Points)
Challenging Lesser-God-Emperor: +1 CHR, +1 STR, and +1 Free point per level.
War Road Builder: Extra Rewards for Winning Battles
Class: Challenging Lesser God-Emperor
Level 6
Health: 1100
Stamina: 1150
Mana: 1410
STR: 12 (-2)
CON: 14 (-4) Rank 6
DEX: 0
AGI: 5 (-2)
INT: 2 (-1)
WIS: 10 (-1) (Rank 6)
CHA: 15 (-3) +4 (Cloak)
PER: 0 (-1)
COR: 3
Experience: 6001
Conditions:
Poor Diet: Eating poorly has sapped your strength and stamina. Lifting and carrying capacity is at half. Stamina is halved.
Centenarian: All negative stat effects from conditions are doubled.
Elderly: +1 WIS, -1 CON, -1 STR
Obesity: Speed is lowered to 50%. -2 AGI, -1 CON, -1 STR
Doddering: Your mind wanders and lacks focus. -1 INT, -1 CHR, -1 WIS, -1 PER
Decrepid: -2 CON, -2 CHR. Your body is past the point of obesity and unhealthy, sliding into death. Any damage taken is doubled until you have a positive CON.
NEGATIVE STATS ARE TREATED AS ZERO FOR CALCULATING HEALTH, STAMINA, and MANA.
Primary Skills:
Ranting (CHA), Rank 5
Berate Minion (CHA), Rank 5
Ceremonial Mace (STR), Rank 5
Impressive Trough Feeding (WIS), Rank 4
Warmongering (CHA), Rank 0
Lead From the Rear (INT) Rank 3
Secondary Skills:
Obliviousness to Danger (WIS), Rank 5
Lack of Empathy (COR), Rank 3
Political Infighting (INT), Rank 0
Leadership (CHA) Rank 0
Acid Resistance (CON) Rank 4
Lesser Poison Resistance (CON) Rank 5
Tertiary Skills:
Palanquin (AGI), Rank 5
Fire Resistance (CON), Rank 3
Battle Fury (STR), Rank 3
Storm Born, Aspect of Air and Storms (INT), Rank 5
Jogging (CON), Rank 2
From the Ashes! (CHA), Rank 1 ( +10 Damage, +10 Health, and +10 feet to Intimidation Aura will all increase if special conditions are met.)
Enhancements:
Intimidation 2: Tier 1 and Tier 2 minions, subjects, and lackeys who can see you are intimidated by your presence. They will strive to work harder and serve you better.
Increased Health 1: +50 points
Increased Stamina 1: +50 points
Increased Mana 2: +150 points
Spells:
Lesser Smite!
Point at an enemy (or slacking minion) and smite them with a burst of lightning! Generally nonlethal to minions above Level 1. But painful! Mana Cost of 5.
Strong Smite:
Point at an enemy (or slacking minion) and smite them with a burst of lightning! Damage is equal to 100 + 5xWIS. Mana Cost of 100.
Perks:
Tough: (STR and CON) Gain 10 points of Physical and Elemental mitigation.
Forceful: (STR and CHA) Your extra weight and huge ego become a weapon in battle. Add +10 per Tier to all attacks.
Hulking: (CON and CHA) You're packing a lot of extra fat, but it's distributed well, helping you move faster.
Trifecta! Raising two stats to 10 is difficult, but raising three is simply amazing! Add +50 to Health, Mana, and Stamina.
Challengers' Charm: Everyone loves an underdog and a good fight. Disgruntled tribes will be inclined to give you aid while you challenge the God-Emperor at the top of the Great Pyramid. A high charisma will help with this.
Magical Items:
Cloak of the Kingslayer
Commemorating the Great Battle against the King of the Menagerie.
Gives 10 universal mitigation and +4 CHA. Against Elite or Higher Beasts, you gain +50 damage.
Corrupted Stormruned Blasting Rod:
Adds +50 + 10xCOR damage to all of your smites. Stores 1000 mana. Rechargeable. (Please read all disclaimers.)
Bloody Ring of Wulfen Carnage
Carved from the claw of a Dreadwulf, the ring imparts fury to the warrior who dons it, giving +20 damage to blows dealt in close combat. There is a cumulative 1% chance that any blow that draws blood forces the user into a Bestial Rage. This resets if the user is out of combat for an hour.
Untiring Rat Slayers Healthy Ring of Karma
+50 Health, +100 Stamina. The user takes double damage from all Ratkin
Varsil scanned down the page quickly and swore in Orcish. "He managed to get three milestones! And I've never heard of two of them. It's like he got rewarded for being obese. But what the hell is that last skill? From the Ashes?"
That got giggles from Layla and Billy that turned into solid laughs. They finally got them under control. "So, as you know, Vern left it up to the System to pick his skills. It took inspiration from what he does. And what he's been doing is dying every single day. If not from battles, then from resistance training. So now he gets better each day that he dies consecutively. It's limited by his Rank in the skill. Marceline has some ideas about harsh training that will keep him going down and popping up each morning."
There were stares of disbelief, and then everyone else started laughing as well. Karl was doing the math. "That's...that's terrifying to think about."
"What, dying each day?"
"Oh, no. His damage bonus on his Smites. Very effective use of mana. Dying is just part of the game, right?"
Billy smiled. "It sure is. And the guy was a walking corpse a couple of weeks ago. Now he's actually useful to us. Anything that makes him more useful is alright by me. And, Marceline has us ahead of schedule. Vern is ready to go and can keep training while we finish up with preparations. Speaking of which, how is your own training going?"
Corporal Thune smiled. "It's everything I could hope for. Every day, I'm marching with a hundred-pound pack plus gear, sweating and dusty, keeping an eye out for ambushes. I've died five times so far. Last night was a glorious last stand, and I even had a chance to celebrate the next day with the people I died next to. Moral in our unit is better. Getting a ton of experience points and 20 Enhancement points raised everyone's spirits. I'm at the beginning of Level 5 and want to push hard for as many days as we're here."
"Great, I'll tell Marceline to let you take a squad into the Lair of the Under Rodent a few times. How about you, Karl? Hit level 3 yet."
Karl was startled out of his analysis of Vernon's stats. "Well, no. I've been studying magical theory at the Mage's Guild; they have a very extensive collection of knowledge on Fire Magic, and I need to get it all into my notebooks."
Billy thought for a moment, then turned to Corporal Thune. "Take Karl with you. I want him blasting away with fireballs, not reading about them. How about you, Dr. Barklight?"
The Senior VP looked slightly embarrassed. "I have to admit that I'm only at Level 2 as well. The Junior Explorer class relies on skills such as Cartography, Orientation, and Pathfinding. I've explored the areas around the town and the hamlets to get a feel for the class, but the experience is slow. I chose Blowgun and Machete for my main weapons, but so far, I've managed to die both times I engaged in combat. Once with a rude squirrel and the second time with a Dire Vole. Nasty little thing. I'm open to suggestions on how to train better."
Billy looked at Layla, and she nodded back, then turned to Dr. Barklight. "We have just the people to help you out. Two of our Contract Workers seem to have a skill for wandering off the beaten path and getting lost. It happened a few times while they assisted Vernon. I can have them show you some new areas where you can practice your skills."
"Why, that would be wonderful, thank you."
"Thank me after Ben and Rolly get you back safely." Billy thought the chance of that happening was pretty slim, but their methods were effective.
Varsil spoke up, "Unless there is an objection, I'm going to grab my girls and hit the Pit. I've heard it's rock hard and quite nasty. Ricardo had some crazy stories to tell me about it. He went in there, lost his whole party, then got into a huge boss fight when another group saved him. He's still not able to tell the story without getting the shakes when he talks about sausage. But what little I got out of him sounds like fun."
Billy frowned. "Well, sounds like the lad needs to get back on the horse. Take him with you, and tell him that's an order. And if Marceline wants to go, take her along as well."
"I wish! That girl is exactly who you want in a dungeon. She's sparred with me and my girls most mornings. It's like she can't get enough fighting in. I asked, but she said she has a tight training schedule."
"Up to her. She earned her bonus already. If she wants to keep working double shifts each day, I'm not going to say no. The results speak for themselves. We've got one week, people, and then you pack up, teleport south in small groups, and begin a guerrilla war led by Challenging Lesser-God-Emperor Uncavarn. Now, I'll excuse you all to get back to your training, while I have a talk with our special envoys from the city about how they can take part in this exciting venture."
Comments
JohnHarris
The Emoji Symbols need a [Thumbs up] and [Chuckle] option. That comment gets one each.
Ender419
Thanks for the chapter WK the Great. Honestly, I wish all meetings were like this as actual work would get done rather than having a meeting to prepare the for the meeting that requires another meeting to talk about the meeting that just happened to resync to make sure everyone understood the goals of the previous meetings. See what I did thereβ¦just nonsensical corporate speak that will make DammitBilly & WaitToBackstabLayla the brightest at the table.
Ian Allen
Interesting you say that--I also found myself with a bit of setting confusion there. Maybe identifying it as "The ninth floor of the Gadobrha ACME tower..." would be sufficient to identify it properly.
MadRat
Thx for the chappie πππ
TwistedVanity
Thank you for the chapter
TwistedVanity
EDIT.. CLARIFICATION NEEDED MAYBE..... This is a tad confusing ... "The ninth floor of the ACME tower was the team's new meeting room, dominated by a large oak table, crafted by the carpenters....." i initially thought acme tower was acme outside. It would be better too say ACME tower in Gadobhra.
Michael Clark
Ah, I bet that is from the Patreon "We hate formating." On my version Centenarian is crossed out, as is Poor Diet.
NameGame
My money is on something along the lines of "please don't eat me". heh
NameGame
Varn is looking...um, good might be an overstatement, so how about less bad? I admit I can't find the chapter where it was discussed that Varn effectively lost 30 years, because I have the dumb. Didn't he lose Centenarian as a result, or is that still in effect he's just not as decrepit? "Moral in our unit is better." Morale. Unless they're a bunch of do-gooders, now. Dr. Barklight might not be so thankful after a go 'round with Ben and Rolly, lol. Also, rough class, very loner-esque. Rough spot for a VP who wants to do VP stuff, good luck on the tier up getting something more...not on the road 24/7 to advance. Thanks for the chapter. Always great, and this was no exception.
Findell
Wasnt the Centenarian debuff supposed to go away because the fey took those years from him?
Findell
Oh well I wonder what the Dr Barklight will say when he sees ozzy.
Engineer4God
Tank oo fur da chap!
