The Resigned Dilettante
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Chapter 98: Notions of justice
🕑 Added 2025-08-05 18:54:44 +0000 UTC“If you’re both going to sit by me again, then I am going to move.” I say to my two friends who happened to come into the law classroom at the same time but by opposite doors and are now making to do just as I warned against. “If you both want to, then decide between you for today, then alternate from there.”
Best to make them figure it out themselves as arbitrating would simply be too tedious. Normally, I probably would have just asked them not to talk in whispered asides during class so I could concentrate and trusted they would respect my request as people who seem reasonable when not around each other. However, learning that at least one of them is trying to kill the other would make even cordial grouping with them awkward.
Bart eyes Ser Terry, then me and finally the chair next to me. He’s obviously considering grabbing the chair before Ser Terry, thus putting him in the awkward position of either letting Bart monopolize my company for the class or risk my disfavour by ignoring my warning. But then he looks back to me and his expression changes to an uncharacteristically gracious smile.
“Well, I suppose I can allow the good Ser Terry the pleasure of your company this time,” he says and makes his way to a seat a few rows down.
This was somewhat unexpected, so I try to puzzle it out as he goes. Bart is ruthless with an instinct to win at all things by any means available. He clearly had this instinct now but forced himself not to follow it. Why?
…Last week, he deliberately provoked Ser Terry, knowing that whoever broke down and asked me directly for my thoughts would be at a disadvantage. He achieved this but gained less than he hoped because he failed to account for me knowing that too, which allowed me to adjust my reaction to it. He may have still benefited from his gambit, though, as at the very least Ser Terry did not feel comfortable trusting me about the orbs after that incident (though that may have already been decided). Still, Bart didn’t feel comfortable trying to bring me in on his side either, which he likely wanted to.
So, this time, he inverted the methods. Instead of failing to account for me understanding his aim, he tried to utilize my understanding. To magnanimously hold himself back only because I know he figured out a way to exploit my rules, and in effect, exploit not exploiting them.
Well, it’s not like I can blame him when I was the one who gave them the responsibility to decide in the first place. I knew there’d be tactics between the two but didn’t care so long as I didn’t have to think about them. But of course, Bart managed to find a way to make me think about them far more than if I had just flipped a coin.
Of course, this all assumes that Bart cared about getting closer to me at all, either as friend or asset. Rather presumptuous to think of myself as a prize worth pursuing, now that I think about it.
Ser Terry sits down with his own frown and thoughtful stare directed at his rival’s back. I quickly flash a smile to reassure him I’m not displeased by the outcome of him sitting with me, causing him to flash his own smile, which tells me he didn’t think so.
The class is informative, clarifying a few issues I’ve been struggling with. Someone (one of the few Arkothans in the class) even asks specifically about how imperial law differs from Caethlian for some details which I’ve messed up before.
Specifically, in Caethlon imprisonment was never a punishment in itself, but was only ever a means to facilitate punishment. Arkothia, in contrast, uses it as the default punishment for all non-capital (or semi-capital) crimes. This confused me at first since it seemed like whole swathes of crimes lacked any definite punishment and were perhaps left to the whim of the judge – an idea very contrary to my conception of an overly orderly empire. Allan quickly remedied the misunderstanding but couldn’t articulate the reason for the difference. In fact, he thought it was odd that I struggled with the concept of imprisonment as punishment in the first place. (It just doesn’t make sense that anyone would think it fits so many different crimes.)
So, it is welcomed when the teacher goes into the rationale, but I’m not certain I believe his answer. In fact, it’s a bit irritating that he claims the reason for the difference is due to our lower literacy rate. That our ‘obsession’ with fitting punishment with crimes comes from a need to convey the crime to the broader populace by publicly inscribing the transgression into the criminal’s body in a manner symbolically understandable to those witnessing it – such as cutting off the hand of a thief or the eye of a perjurer.
Beyond just communication, he continues, lies a need to reinforce control by contrasting the powerlessness of the lawbreaker with the seeming omnipotence of the lawgiver. This creates a sense of perpetual conflict between ruler and ruled that illegitimizes the relation. This is naturally contrasted with the oh so orderly empire, which does not view itself in a state of constant conflict with its own populace, but instead views itself as tied to it. Thus, lawbreakers are not to be punished in a show of dominance but are to be corrected and disciplined for the good of all.
Which, no, at the very least the claim about our ways being inherently an illegitimate method of rule is stretching his point. Besides, the benefit of fitting punishments isn’t consequential but inherent. It remedies the afront by acting in balance…Or something like that. Admittedly, I didn’t exactly have ample opportunity to discuss it in depth with anyone with a Caethlian perspective, but it’s the impression I got in passing.
At the very least though, I get the sense that I’m not alone with this reaction as my fellow foreigners, who unusually make up a large majority of the class, are almost all tense at the teacher’s explanation. In contrast, the few Arkothians are mostly horrified at the description of our punishments, which likewise baffles the foreigners. It seems our methods are more common than the empire’s.
This gives me some comfort until I realize that was the entire point of this part of the lecture. Many of the foreign students will go back to their homelands when they graduate and become leaders there. Even foreign royalty isn’t uncommon here, though I haven’t heard of any in my year. The teacher intends to directly confront us (or rather them) with the contrasting thinking in the hopes that by the time we graduate many will come around to the empire’s thinking and maybe become allies.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that this is the entire reason for this supplemental class, but it’s definitely a part of it. I also don’t know if this blunt proclamation of imperial virtue will be that effective, but it may be just one part of a varied approach. Or maybe the teacher is just bad at converting us.
Two foreigners who react differently are Bart and Ser Terry – the former seeming amused with the latter seeming passively thoughtful. I’ll have to ask Ser Terry about it and maybe get some insights about where he’s from.
The rest of the lecture is mildly informative, more so as I’m actually able to focus on it this time. After class, Ser Terry turns to me and asks, “Want to get lunch?”
I smile at the suggestion, then frown. “I’m meeting someone, but I don’t think she’ll mind if I bring company.”
“Oh?” he asks with annoying interest. Like he’s surprised that I have plans. “Whom with?”
“…I don’t think you know her. Her name’s Ellen…” I decide not to include the name Aethelhal since that seems to be sensitive. “She’s in my herbalism class and some other things. I’ll introduce you at the table.”
The nexus room is still filling and Ellen isn’t in sight, so I grab a random table and send her a message saying where I am. A few minutes later she walks up with a surprised smile.
“You have a friend.” She says, looking at Ser Terry.
I give an exaggerated sigh. “Why is everyone surprised when they learn I know other people?”
“Oh, er, I meant brought a friend. I didn’t mean to suggest…”
“It’s because you’re so serious.” Ser Terry interrupts with a playful smile. “Everyone assumes they’re the only one to get past your gloominess and see your hidden charms.”
I puff myself up in mock protest to play along with his tease. “I’m not gloomy… But um… What charms are you talking about?” It’d be useful to get an impression of my strengths, and definitely has nothing to do with wanting to hear them from Ser Terry.
Ser Terry laughs. “Instead of fishing for compliments, perhaps you’ll introduce us?”
“Of course, Ellen, this is Ser Terrance Presley. Ser Terry, this is Ellen.”
“It’s alright to say my full name,” Ellen says, with strange emotion. Resignation maybe.
“To be honest, I don’t know the significance, but it seemed sensitive. I decided it would be better to let you decide whether to share it.”
She smiles, thankful but weakly. “I guess I forgot that you’re from the outskirts.”
I shake my head. “I asked Allan, and he didn’t know either. He guessed most people react negatively to it just because everyone else does.”
“Huh,” she says, deeply troubled and relieved at the same time. “I would never have guessed. I always assumed everyone knew.” She turns inward for a moment, and I’m about to ask about it when she moves the conversation on. “But Ser Terrance? As in Terry? Our year’s sole knight?”
“So I’m told,” Ser Terry says, flashing a charming smile.
“Malichi, you didn’t tell me you were friends with another celebrity,” she chides me sedately.
“What? Have you been keeping track of his rumours like you do with Allan?” I counter, glancing aside to Ser Terry to see his reaction.
“Hmm, well yes. Though I wouldn’t say to the same degree. Now that I think about it, I did hear something about him associating with a short and grumpy mage. I should have realized.” I raise an eyebrow in show of irritation, but she continues before I can respond. “Did you invite him to the club?”
“Er, no. I guess it slipped my mind.” I’m still not certain I’ll be staying in it, so it would be a bit silly to invite someone.
“Well, no reason not to remedy that now.”
“Club?” Ser Terry asks, his smile turned needling. “Why Malichi, are you holding out on me?”
I shrug. “Maybe. To be honest, I’m not sure it’s a good fit for me, and I have no idea if you’d like it.”
“Why? Is it embarrassing?”
“Hardly,” Ellen interjects, moving in for the pitch. “The Dialectical Magicalism Club is very respectable. We’re a research club with the goal of expanding non-violent uses of magic. We believe that the best way to make the empire prosper isn’t by wasteful wars of expansion, but by mages learning how to better develop what we already have.”
“Oh, that’s um… interesting.” He gives me a questioning look.
“Please don’t say it’s not something you expected of me. That line is getting tiring.” I say.
“To put it mildly. I mean, do you actually agree with them?”
I shrug. “They have interesting arguments, and I do have a couple of utility spells that fit in with them. Though I’m undecided on if I agree with them and will continue learning combat spells regardless.”
“…I guess that makes some sense.”
“So, what do you think about joining?” Ellen asks with a serene smile.
“Oh, um… I’m not a mage, so I don’t see how I’ll fit in.” Ser Terry says, scratching his head, strangely nervous.
“That’s no matter. We need insights from knights too. We have a page already, but I’m sure you’ll have your own interesting perspective.” She says it so smoothly that I almost believe she actually cares about his perspective more than the recruits his celebrity might bring.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t think it’d be appropriate for me to join.” He’s gone strangely still with his face pale. I’ve never seen him this anxious.
“Is something the matter?” I whisper so Ellen can’t hear.
“It’s nothing, it's just…” he whispers back but cuts himself short. He looks at me with a pained expression but decides to explain. “I know my fate. Joining you would just be indulging a delusion that I could change it.”
Ellen looks between us, confused. “I’m sorry if I said something upsetting.”
Ser Terry shakes his head. “You said nothing wrong. I just… feel I would be a hypocrite if I accepted. That’s all.”
She stares questioning before speaking. “…Have you done something…? If you turn to Tacyn… No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t pry.”
“It’s all right. Tacyn is a fine god, but her light is for the next world, not this one. It doesn’t help for what still needs to be done.”
Her mouth hangs open slightly before finally mustering an “I see.”
Ser Terry shakes himself as if from a stupor. “I’m sorry, but I think I need to leave. Malichi, I’m glad you’ve found something so tranquil to keep your time, and I hope you stay with it, but I can’t join you there. I’ll see you next week.” With that, he leaves.
Ellen looks stunned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s fine,” I say. In fact, it’s better than. I’ve gained an insight into him that I doubt I would have otherwise. “But um, are you contracted to Tacyn?”
She blushes. “Oh, yes. Though before you ask, I’m not running from some grave sin, though I guess her afterlife was part of the consideration. But he’s wrong, you know. Her light extends well into this world.”
“You mean her boons are more useful than I’ve heard?” I say, deliberately missing the point.
She gives a pained smile. “Well, there is some utility for the club, especially the associated spells. But that’s not what I mean.”
“…Yeah, I know.”
“…I think… I’m sorry if this is too personal, but I think she would benefit you. I don’t know, it’s just something I sense.”
Now there’s a thought. I wonder what the sun priest would say if I used her for the assignment. Not that I would, at least until I’m ready to give up Anar entirely. After all, she’s the god of second chances, not third.
“It is a bit personal, but it’s fine.”
“Sorry… I guess we should get to studying then.”
I simply nod and get to work.
