The Resigned Dilettante
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Chapter 102: Keeping resolve
🕑 Added 2025-08-25 06:11:02 +0000 UTC[I’m going to be honest, I struggled having Jules say her questions and Malichi answering in a way that reflected both her education level and the conceptions of the setting. Like I say force when I mean energy because I think that energy is too advanced of concept in the way we use it for the setting. Even though the internet says early 1700’s for the concept being developed, which kinda matches the broad equivalent timeframe of my setting (remember it’s meant to have like 500 year span in which things are matched) there’s also a sense of magic slowing scientific concepts from forming in some ways, or accelerating them in others that muddles everything. But I think this would be more of a former case. Also, I think I shifted how the Mud Hares talk a little to match more, you know, generic fantasy lower class speech. I might make some adjustments though.]
I forcibly ignore the itching, causing my hands to shake as I walk through the low security area in the dying light of the next day.
I went by Greg’s to receive his tribute (though I ended up paying it all back and then some as my part of the Mud Hare’s weapon order) and asked him what boon he wanted for beating Allan. Unfortunately, he said that the boon required for the Mud Hares to retake certain territory, so I left after warning him that the longer he takes for the request, the less likely I am to grant it.
Then I went to John’s workshop and inquired as to his progress on new enchanting mediums after giving him his research funds. As expected though, he hasn’t made any real progress. All he’s done so far is find new methods that don’t work. The only good news from the trip was seeing the two Mud Hares sent as guards busy studying from a basic reading primer. Their tutor wasn’t in, but I’ll trust whoever John selected for now.
Someone nearly bumps into me. Did they see past my concealment and try to pickpocket me, or did they only get so close because they didn’t realize I was there? Is resisting scratching drawing so much attention that it overrides the spell? If it’s noticeable even with the spell, how much worse will it be when I talk with the Mud Hares? Will they think I’m deranged and betray me? I could quickly grab a soul on the way, just to take the edge off.
No. Follow the plan. Only nobles or better… Or at least not random commoners. Only indulge when it’s an indulgence. I at least have the control for that.
Sigh. I almost wish I hadn’t learn the spell with how much of a temptation it is to so easily remove bodies with it. I mean, what’s the problem? It’s not like I’ll get caught now. Just some faint notion of desiring control; but is control really better than pleasure?
Still, I manage to hold myself back. It’s only been a week since Henry, and I’ve gone much longer. I’m sure this sudden increase in craving will subside once I get used to the idea of having the spell. I stop outside the ‘warren’ and compose myself. I shouldn’t be in here too long, and negotiating with the eye will distract me from the itching.
“You’re late!” Jules says forcibly as I arrive on the roof.
“Not yet,” I grumble, “there’s a few minutes left before optimal training conditions.”
“I had questions I wanted answered before we started.”
“Sigh, ask away.”
She goes into a detailed question regarding where the force required to move the crystal pendulum comes from exactly.
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t? I thought I needed to know that to learn the spell?”
“Divination, not spell. But yes, you do need to know, but the Eye erases that knowledge as the price for finalizing the negotiation.”
She looks horrified. “What? You’re saying I’ll be losing part of my past if I want to learn magic?”
I shrug. “Pretty much.” I sigh at seeing her intensified horror. She’s my client. I can’t treat her so callously, even if I’m struggling to care right now. “Though it’s usually not that dramatic,” I say, managing to soften my voice a little. “Typically, the Eye only asks for knowledge that you gained in pursuit of the spell, though there are exceptions. Regardless, you’ll always know what is being traded and will have the option to refuse.”
“Okay, but how are you supposed to teach us if you’ve forgotten the thing that you’re supposed to teach?”
I shrug. “I can teach you what’s necessary, which is the chant and the questions you need to answer. What’s sufficient will have to come from you.”
She scrunches up her face, clearly not satisfied with my answer. “But like, if you hit someone with magic, where does that hit come from? From you?”
I shake my head. “I’d exhaust myself with even the most basic combat spells if the force came from me. No, the force doesn’t come from anywhere. It’s teleologically efficient. Take a spell that would fill this room with fire. The universe could just spontaneously arrange itself to match that effect at any moment, but won’t because the causation is improbable. Magic though, reverses normal causation by having the world retroactively arrange itself according to a goal in the present, thus making the improbable a constant.”
Her horror intensifies. “You’re saying I could just die… anytime? I don’t… You’re using big words. I don’t think I know… How do you…?”
I interrupt. “You just have to get used to the horror of living in a world that doesn’t care except for those few awful and wonderful moments that it does. Or you could just ignore it like most do. But it’s too late for you now, you’ve already started learning.” She looks like she’s about to collapse, mentally, not physically, so I let out a reassuring sigh, chastising myself for getting so distracted by the itch that I didn’t bother making my words less harsh. “Look, it’s not as bad as it sounds. I’m just in a mood… Sorry. It’ll make more sense after you expose yourself to the Eye more. Speaking of, it’s time to learn.
I gesture to the sinking sun and she nods half-heartedly. About halfway through the session though, her face lights up as the pendulum begins to move. It seems her worry has completely vanished at the achievement of her first magical effect.
I confirm her success with a one-sided version of the occulter game where she has to find the correct sheet of paper from a row. Then I show her how to tie other concepts into the divination and the chants for a few cantrips for her to learn over the next week.
“Your illiteracy is somewhat annoying, but the chants are only two words each, so you should be able to memorize them. You should find that you’ll be able to invert the Eye at any time now, but it’s best to only learn new effects at sunrise and set. Any free time you have between them should be spent familiarizing yourself with the crystal pendulum, but whatever you do, don’t try to divine other mages as the interference with their divinations might alert them.”
“Other mages?” she asks, beaming. “Are you saying I’m a mage now?”
I nod. “Yes, though your path isn’t fully set until later. It’ll probably be a little slow until you learn to read, which is its own problem, as I doubt I could get a teacher here, and you’re too young to be a guard at the enchanter’s place. Still, the first two should be coming back tomorrow, so make sure they teach you what they learned.”
She nods eagerly, and I turn to see how the others are doing, but none seem nearly as far along. Sigh, well, the sun is set anyways. Time to talk to Jack.
Both Jack and Klar are in the dimly lit meeting room along with two more of the older members. Each one is armed with one of the daggers Greg sold them, plus a larger sidearm and are wearing a sort of armoured jacket. The armour is less subtle than I wanted, as anyone with enhanced perception could easily discern its nature, but at least there’s no metal showing. Still, the brown and dark green stiff leather jackets with inserted metal plates are almost like a uniform, which I suppose has its advantages, even if it’s far more conspicuous than what I wanted.
Having examined them, I move to the table that they’re lounging around. None get up. I want to make an issue of it, but I can’t decide if that’s what a noble should do, or if it’s just my itching making me want to bite their heads off for disrespecting their patron. Safer to assume the itching. Besides, I can gain their respect later.
“Give me your report.” I state as I sit.
“Report on what?” Jack asks, confrontationally.
“On your progress retaking your former territory,” I reply, steady tone, eyes locked on his.
“Why? I thought you weren’t going to be the boss. So why do you need to know what’s going on?”
“Sigh.” Clearly, a week’s absence has not made his heart grow fonder of me. “I may not be the boss, but I still need to know how to best support you. Moreover, if you don’t tell me about problems, and I hear them from my other interests in the area, I might assume you’re more trouble than you’re worth and cut you off.”
His eyes narrow and his chest puffs up. “You think you can just leave us now? You killed five people. We might not know who you are, but I bet the guards can find out if we mention a noble mage has been on a killing spree.”
Now it’s my turn to narrow my eyes, but my body is completely still and my voice level. “You think you can betray me? Try it. I’ll find out before you even make the choice. But if you do, I won’t just cut you off, I’ll cut you up. You and everyone else who knows of my involvement.”
There’s a stillness in the room. They see me now. Before they saw a noble brat with a bloodthirsty streak playing around in a low-security section. If that were all I am, then my threat would be laughable, but they aren’t laughing. They see a glimmer of the one who spent three years terrorizing the imperial army and who survived a whole year being hunted by someone as talented and determined as Count Vithal. They don’t know why or how, but they know I’m fully capable of my threat.
…Though admittedly, I may have overstated my divining rod’s ability to accurately predict something as abstract as betrayal. I, of course, set up an array for it (indeed, I have a half dozen set up for various events, much to Marcus’s annoyance, given how much space they take up), but passive detection can only be done for the very near future at best. Naturally, I perform active divinations with the rods too, but even they can only detect maybe three days in advance due to ambient interference, and only one day reliably. Plus, it will cause distortions if I do it too often, which could blind me to the betrayal.
Though… I suppose if I used anthropomancy that wouldn’t be much of an issue. I could probably get a warning at least a month in advance.
The thought unsettles me as I have to push back yet another reason to just sacrifice someone randomly, though I do keep my disquiet from my expression.
Jack is intently studying me, then breaks into a broad smile with a strange emotion in his eyes. I was going to chastise myself for letting the itching speak for me, but he actually seems slightly more loyal for it. Not loyalty from fear either, but true loyalty that persists even after the cause for fear is removed. Once again, Jack baffles me, but I suppose I can use his strangeness to my advantage.
Jack speaks, now eager, well, not eager, but willing to please. “We got back eight families, two crafters and one small-time merchant under our protection. The families pay a mid-copper each, the crafters mid silver, and the merchant a large. It’s steady going, but we’ve had small fights with at least four other gangs picking over the Thrushes’ corpse. A few are hurt, but nobody has died yet.”
I nod at the information. Per our agreement, my share should be increasing by ninety-eight raem this week, which isn’t enough, but is a good start, and I’m sure they’ll do better now that they have their armour.
“Do you think the fights might lead to a new war?” I ask.
Jack shrugs. “Not really. Maybe if a lot of people start dying, but nobody wants that. There’s enough that they stand to gain without having to risk it all in a war.”
I nod. “And what of your progress in reclaiming the territory adjacent to the merchant selling you your gear?”
“Ah, well, we have a new problem about that.”
“Problem?” I ask, looking around.
Klar answers. “A new gang took the territory right in front of them. Small, but mage led.”
“Ah… Powerful?” I ask, looking around for insight and find nervous looks.
Jack looks to Klar, who speaks. “She didn’t seem it, at least from when I saw her fight. No fighting spells besides a shield. Though that was enough for her to kill two of the gang she was fighting. It might be enough that we can’t handle her.” With that, they all turn to me with the obvious question in their eyes: ‘Will you handle her for us?’
Oh, how I want to. I said nobles only, but mages are nearly as good. At the very least, they have the same after effect as nobles in that they make future sacrifices have more lingering benefit (the opposite of regular sacrifices, which gradually decrease it). But…
I shake my head. “I said defensive fights only. There may be times in the future when I make an exception, but it’s too soon after Henry. People would take it as a power play. If she attacks you, then I’ll handle her. Otherwise, if you really think she’s too much, negotiate. Talk to her at least. Find out what she wants. If she wants to expand, or just have a bubble of protection while she learns magic. If that doesn't work, go around.”
Jack shakes his head. “Going around would take us into territory we haven’t held before. We might be able to handle it, but right now we’re putting everything we can into getting back another island.” He uses the common term for the sort of semi-self-contained apartment building we’re presently in.
“And you think the coin from this island will be worth delaying the route to the merchant?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “The coin will be good, but it’s not about that. The big islands, like we’re in? They’re easy to defend. They’re like forts for us. You can have your people live in them and walk around. If you control a big island, the little buildings around them tend to fall in line too. Plus, they’re the best place to recruit, since there’s a lot of people with no jobs there. Which is why we need to get it first, cause everyone else is trying to get it too.”
“Why can’t you just let them fight it out and move in after they’re weak?” I ask.
Klar answers. “It doesn’t work that way. Islands aren’t like little houses where you can just go in and threaten them under you. They can defend themselves, at least a little. You got to convince their elders that you’re the best gang for them. That means showing you can keep a presence. That you can defend the place against all comers. Besides, if we take too long to bring them under us, they might make their own gang to protect themselves. It’s how we got started. Lots of other gangs too.”
I nod. “I suppose that makes sense… How long will it take to claim it?”
Jack answers with a shrug. “Might be a week. Might be a month. Doubt the other gangs are willing to risk too many of their own going on the mend for something we clearly have the best claim over. Plus, we got better stuff now. Won’t want to mess with us soon.”
“There are skirmishes around it?” I ask. “How bad are they?”
Klar shrugs. “Mostly bruises and light cuts. Most can keep going, but some have it worse. A broken arm and a couple of deep stabs keeping them knocked down.”
“Show me.” I say, and Klar leads me to another room where a trio of Mud Hares are reposed. I go to the one with the broken arm first and examine it using my light mirror for a better look. “This is set wrong, I’ll have to redo it,” I say.
Klar scoffs. “Pretty sure we’ve seen more broken arms than you, kid.”
I give her a level stare. “I’m pretty sure you haven’t,” I say, causing her to glance aside. “Get him something to bite on.”
She produces a well-chewed, thick leather strap, and the man screams as I redo the set. Then I cast my wound closure spell on the bone to give a head start on the fusing process. I also have a handful of healing berries in my pocket from the staff, of which I feed him two after reapplying the splint.
Then I examine the two stab wounds. One’s starting to look infected, so I grind two more berries into a paste and apply it to the wounds before casting my spell. Then I give each one another berry.
Then I go to Jack to tell him the situation. “The two stabbed are fine now, but shouldn’t move about for a few days. It should be fine once the spot is no longer tender. Unfortunately, the spell isn’t powerful enough to do much for bone, but it will still take a week or two off, plus the berries will help. So, I estimate two to four weeks for the broken arm, assuming I make my weekly visits.”
“That fast?” Jack asks.
I shrug, deliberately misunderstanding the question as irony. “Unfortunately, I only have the most basic healing spell. Higher magic could heal it nearly instantly.” Perhaps I should start learning them. I wasn’t that interested in it before, but I suppose I have a pressing use now.
Jack shakes his head. “Why didn’t you say you were a healer? Bringing our people back into the fight is nearly as good as fighting yourself.”
I shrug. “I didn’t think of it. Besides, it’s not like I’ll be around to take care of every wound since I’m only here once a week… On that note, I have herbs that would probably have helped with a few things. I should add to the symbols you send with the bird to try to describe symptoms so I’ll know what to bring next time.” I could have just grown a few things here, but that would take too long, and I don’t want them to know I can do that since it might help them figure out my identity.
“Some of us still have wounds from the Thrushes, could you…?” Jack trails off. That look of nascent loyalty is back in his eyes.
Sigh. I suppose I should reinforce motives I actually understand, even if this will probably add a few more hours to my getting back to the dorm and a long hot bath. “Line them up,” I say, and take a seat.
