The Resigned Dilettante
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Chapter Eleventy-one: The Plentiful Bounty of Lingonhil
🕑 Added 2025-10-10 19:40:47 +0000 UTCLingonhill is a sleepy little village in the valley created by three nearby lightly wooded hills. I look down on it from the southwestern most one and watch as people amble out of bed and go to work in the morning mists.
If I recall, the cave system is on the titular northern hill. It’s larger than the other two, less wooded and covered in hundreds of bushes bearing the little red berries. The bushes are semi-agricultural in function. The village harvests them and exports a significant amount of berries each year, but they don’t bother planting them in orderly rows. Very strange for an Arkothan settlement, though I suppose the natural berry spread is more than the moderate village of about a hundred can reasonably handle. The rest of the village’s production is from orbiting farms growing wheat and the like, plus one copper mine two miles out.
Looking at it, it really is an unusual concentration of lingonberries, and nothing else. I thought the book was exaggerating on that point. Does the town cull other species, or is there something specific in the soil that makes them thrive there? I would think maybe it was from a god’s blessing, but I can’t think of any deities that have it as a favoured fruit. Maybe a more obscure demi-god?
Well anyways, agricultural speculation isn’t going to help me find my friends. I risk pulling out my rod and doing a quick direction divination. It’s a bit difficult as there are distortions from an active struggle. Clearly, Bart is tracking them, which they’re trying to counter. Well, at least neither side will be able to tell that another tracker has joined in with how much back and forth is going on. In fact, Terry’s side has overdone it a bit, making it a little easier to find them while staying hidden, but not much.
I’m able to find with certainty that they’re in the town. As for where exactly, I’m only able to narrow it down within a few degrees – not even precise enough to activate guidance if I were so inclined. That doesn’t stop me from noticing when they start moving north out of the town, and I quickly spot them trekking up the berry hill with my temporarily absurd vision.
The five of them seem untroubled. They even laugh at each other, evidently telling jokes as they climb… I wonder what they’re saying.
I watch as they reach a spot about two-thirds up and vanish into a recess – presumably the cave entrance. The book mentioned that the entrance is well known, but that people seldom go much deeper into the maze-like tunnels due to frequent moaning sounds heard in the inky depths. Probably just the wind finding another entrance.
I start my way down my hill to follow them, but my path takes me away from the town briefly where my gaze naturally goes to a large thicket of evergreen trees. There, I see a bright white light flashing repeatedly before stopping for ten seconds and starting again. I look to the village where I see a similar flashing light from the lord’s manner and another one from a woody thicket on the southeastern hill. Obviously signals, and obviously not a coincidence that they’d be sent less than a minute after Ser Terry vanished from sight.
Under concealment, as I have been since I left Pelliphos, I rush to where I saw the first light and find a trio of figures garbed in woody browns and greens lying prone with the same style of enchanted heavy crossbows that I use. They don’t even turn when I pick up a trio of dry but somewhat thick branches and knock them on their heads in turn. The branches of course break from my immense strength, but I use this as a limiting factor to ensure that the blow doesn’t kill them. One of the branches is too thin, so the third remains conscious and tries to turn to shoot me, but I quickly drop down and punch her in the face, trying to find the middle ground between lethal force and not enough.
I stand over their unconscious bodies, itching very mildly. It’s not like they’ll add much pleasure to what I’m already experiencing, but they will prolong it. I only have about four more hours before the Mynharran’s boon runs out, and I really don’t want it to expire while I’m underground. The first one should extend the duration by another four hours, the second by two, the third by one and each subsequent one granting just a little less. All three would mean nearly a total of a full day with the boon, and another two would give me enough time to reach the next sunset to learn more spells.
I did say only nobles, or those of elevated pleasure, but that was for initial sacrifices, not for extending something as exquisite as a favoured soul. Moreover, peasants consumed while under more potent boons won’t diminish future returns. There’s really no reason not to. I mean, I am going to kill them anyways, I only hesitated in case I wanted to interrogate them, but it’s not like the grunts would know anything of worth.
By the time I consciously come to the decision, I’m already on my knees applying symbols and slitting throats with words of offering. I lean back, focusing on the faint wisps of pleasure before I acclimate to it, and find that the Mynharran’s boon makes even the little sacrifices more pleasant.
Still, what were they even hoping to do from so far away? The cave entrance is three miles away. Obviously, I could make the shot with one of the crossbows using the guidance spell, but a mundane should have no chance.
Sensing a mystery, I crouch down and go through their things. No insightful papers, and only a few coins. There’s a spyglass and a crystal socketed into a reflective surface that can be turned to produce bright light, though not nearly as bright as my own light mirror at full output. Still, there’s a handy strap to tie to a belt, so I take it. No magic weapons besides the crossbows, and each crossbow only has two enchanted bolts – one basic and one… now that’s interesting. The second bolt is covered in fine silver symbols – far more than anything I’ve seen for the weapon.
It’s a very dense enchantment and I struggle to make sense of it. Whatever the effect is, I can’t imagine this being the most efficient way of achieving it. Bart probably just got scammed by some enchanter making wild claims about… wait, I recognize that effect. It’s… It’s almost similar to my guidance spell. But how does it target? It should be in a connected line… Is that a shield spell?
Chance dancing leaves, it’s a mage killer bolt. They wouldn’t even need to know if a mage is in the area, just point in a general direction and if there’s a shield spell nearby, it’ll find and kill it. Even an illusion or my concealment spell wouldn’t stop it, as the principle seems more mechanical than divinatory.
How does Bart even have something like…? Vincent. Vincent must have given it to him. But even then… These crossbows were supposed to be, collectively, a strategic weapon produced for the next war with Hyclion, so it always seemed a bit odd that they would allow general production of them. But what if the bow is just one part of the weapon system, the other part being kept secret? If so, even Vincent acquiring these might have been illegal, especially distributing them to a mercenary company.
These orbs are getting more and more interesting all the time. What could possibly be worth potentially tipping their hand to Hyclion just to give them one more edge over a group of misfits? Speaking of, I glance down to the town and see a group of perhaps thirty soldiers led by four figures on horseback marching out of the lord’s manor, twelve of which are armed with crossbows. Ten light and two heavy, as is standard for the imperial army. Of the two horse riders, two are obviously knights or chevaliers, and one is a mage. They’re headed for the berry-covered hill.
From the southeast hill, I spot another group of a dozen much rougher looking individuals led by Bart going in the same direction. However… yes, he leaves a trio on his hill to mirror the ones left here. They’re hard to spot, but a bit of off colour gives them away. I should probably deal with them first.
Before I dispose of my present bodies and go after them, I have one hesitation – the crossbows. It would be cumbersome, but I could stash them someplace and gather them when I leave. Pelliphos would certainly hate carrying so many, but if I get them back to the capital, I could discreetly sell them to Greg for a nice sum. Enough to fund my enchanter for several weeks at least.
Unfortunately, they’re also a divining link that would be easily found no matter how I hid them… or not. I keep forgetting how absurdly empowered I am right now.
Using their lifeblood, I trace concealment runes on one of their blankets and wrap the crossbows in it. Then I liquify the bodies and clean them up. There’s another storm coming tonight, so no need to move them far. I just find a rock outcropping and break them apart on it, spreading the powdered remains so it looks like nothing more than strange soil.
I find a nook behind a boulder up the hill and stash the bundle there along with some unneeded supplies. I hesitate briefly and include my own heavy bow in the bundle. It’s a powerful weapon, but not particularly useful in the dark confines of the caves. I keep my light crossbow, though, strapped to my back.
That done, I head down the hill, but stop on a whim when I get to where the bodies were and deposit a listening coin. It probably won’t amount to anything, but there’s a chance that they might come looking for their missing friends, and I could luck into hearing something interesting.
I run unnoticed with my empowered concealment down the hill, through fields and up the second hill to repeat the act of violence on the second group of crossbow wielders. I’ll probably have to liquify some of these expensive weapons, but for now, I just conceal and stash them before moving down, then up to the main group.
The group of thirty some heavily armed soldiers and mounted elites are stopped on a ridge overlooking a depression in the hill where the cave entrance is at. The foot soldiers are very disorganized. Not very professional looking despite having professional gear. Clearly, house guards equipped to imperial army standards but not trained to it. The crossbow wielders are especially laughable in comparison to the elite soldiers whom I’ve seen training recordings of – just casually clustered together with no sense of vigilance.
They don’t seem to be going in, and the noble leading them, a thin and balding middle-aged man in velvety red cloth, is complaining loudly to his underlings.
“You’re saying Bart has already gone in?”
“So it would seem, my lord.”
“What? We’re just supposed to wait here until they come out? That could be hours! Days!”
“My lord,” the older of the two knights says with a pacifying tone, “you do not need to stay with us. We are more than capable of holding the entrance on our own.”
“What? Not tend to a task that my selected Princep gave me personally? You must be mad!”
“I’m sure Princep Vincent would understand my lord. There’s not much…”
“Not much I can do!” The balding lord shouts. “Is that what you’re saying? You’re always looking down on me for not being empowered, aren’t you? Secretly sneering. It’s the new way! The nobles' job won’t be to fight but to lead and administer, but we still need to be present. How many times do I have to say this?”
“Of course, my lord, I only meant…”
I stop paying attention as I cast guidance on the mage and the two knights one by one, my present boons allowing me to sustain them all at once, even along with concealment and a shield. Five spells! Astounding. Even elite mages would struggle to replicate such a feat, even if most are only basic complexity.
I target the mage first and pull out my sling and a special enchanted bullet I recently acquired. It’s a strange effect that causes it to become softer and less massive at the moment of impact against flesh in proportion to the speed that it strikes, creating a maximum impact force that should be incapacitating but less than lethal. Very useful, but I only have one of them, and the enchantment is incompatible with a repair effect, making it a very expensive single-use item. Still, I may have to place a special order if this one proves effective at gaining prey.
There’s a sound of glass breaking as the mage’s shield shatters then they slump forward in their saddle. The lord doesn’t even stop talking, though the knights notice something is wrong, but can’t tell what through my spell. They look about, but don’t seem to dare interrupt their lord until they can say for certain something is wrong. It’s not until my second bullet is on the way to the older knight’s head that he finally spots the downed mage and tries to draw his sword.
Before he can shout though, the bullet klangs into his helmet and sends him flying off his horse. The second knight instantly spots this even through the spell, but everyone else merely looks around confused. Clearly noticing something is up, but not what.
“I say, are you all right?” The lord asks his downed retainer.
“My lord! We’re under a– Klang!” The second knight falls, finally prompting them to realize that they’re in danger.
Out of targets that can survive a ranged attack, I rush in with my sword drawn and blunted into a cudgel. Worried about accidentally breaking it, I keep it short and thick for durability, though I will be trying to control my strength to keep them alive.
The crossbows being the only real threat left, I charge into them and begin bashing heads. It’s a real struggle not to hit too hard and kill them instantly, but I mostly manage. It’s unfortunate – there’s a rune similar to the non-lethal bullet’s enchantment that would help, but it was always too complex for me to get to work. I could easily manage it now, but I never bothered trying to memorize it given the difficulty.
I move on to the spear wielders who, still unable to pinpoint my location, are unable to mount a defence and quickly fall. Some try to flee, but I quickly overtake them.
It… it feels good to be fighting imperials again, even if they aren’t real soldiers. To be so overwhelming to them. Sigh. Pity there were no divinely favoured wandering around back then. What I could have done with just a few days of this power!
The noble, saved for last, very sensibly urges his horse to flee at a gallop. Unfortunately for him, I’m much faster than a horse right now. I quickly catch up and leap on top of it before lifting him up and jumping back to the ground to drag him kicking and screaming to the imminent bounty.
Naturally, this is when the two knights recover and charge me to retrieve their lord. It’s laughable, actually. Right now, I’m stronger than any knight in the world… with maybe a few possible exceptions. Letting go of the lord, I leap forward past the knight’s sword and punch him in the chest – denting his enchanted breastplate as I send him flying backwards.
Agony shoots up my arm and I look down to see bone sticking out of my hand and arm. Oh, right, I do tend to forget that Anar doesn’t grant resilience. Oh well, it’ll fix itself in a moment.
The second knight comes in, swinging their sword at my head, but I simply draw my sword again and bash the blade out of their hands. Then I sweep their legs under them, straddle and remove the helmet, apply the runes and offer them to Anar – all while batting off feeble attempts to throw me off. The older knight screams in rage at this, but I quickly do the same for them.
The lord is trying to escape again, so I grab him and stuff the smoke catcher into his mouth and fill his lungs with sedative smoke – I can’t risk accidentally bludgeoning him to death after all. Then I go over and offer the mage and all the soldiers. It turns out I managed to only accidentally kill five of the soldiers instantly, which I consider very lucky. With this, my current boon will be extended for a whole second day. Fantastic! I’ve never had one last so long.
With the underlings all dead, I do a quick divination to make sure nobody witnessed this or escaped, then go about cleaning the mess. I don’t bother grabbing these crossbows and just liquify them. At the very least, that’s a few less knight killing weapons available to them for the next Hyclion war. I also liquify the knights’ gear. The swords would be worth a lot, and they have interesting daggers, but knights’ weapons tend to be individualized, opposed to the mass produced crossbows. Much easier to trace with or without divination. So, I just destroy it all.
The only things that I do keep are from the mage, being a thin folio of spells they were working on and a single magic bangle that I have trouble identifying. It’s probably better to destroy, but it’s intriguing, so I take it. I can always dispose of it later if it seems too unique.
I liquify everything and clean it. It's a lot of corpse balls, but I just throw them around the mountains, powdering them in dispersed spots that hopefully won't draw too much notice before tonight's storms.
As an afterthought, I distribute another listening coin under a bush. Then I drag the unconscious lord into the cave mouth and away from potential eyes. It’s time to get some answers.
