amandapalmer
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The Spine of Touring. (a Thank You Letter, & First Batch of OZ/NZ Photos).
🕑 Added 2026-01-20 07:31:31 +0000 UTCHello loves.
Reading comments. (Feel free to talk about the shows that just happened, and if you got photos, the embargo is OVER!! Feel free to post them online or send them to the wide-open chat on the patreon).
I'm collapsed, it's post-tour time.
Real show photos en route and in the system.
All three concerts (Auckland, Sydney, Melbourne) were unprecedented in their path of production and delivery (and we keep hearing this p-work term bandied around, but dudes, it...suits).
Post-tour time sucks, always.
I've come to understand it and to befriend it.
Oh there, you are, disorienting, strangely empty, short of breath, weirdly happy, dry, jet lagged, distrustful of that happy feeling, lonely, exhausted, disbelieving, satisfied, queer, allll heart-hungover fizz-fuzz-ball. It's the comedown down after the high high.
You feel like an emptied-out tube of toothpaste. All shell, ready for the happy trash compactor.
The header photo is of me, Jordan and Michael at Sydney airport, not even 24 hours after the final show in Melbourne.
I'm plagued with that usual feeling of low-level post-tour panic as I face over 2,000 photos (taken by me, Michael, photgraphers, friends, audience members, and crew at the shows), video clips (same)....with emails and texts still to answer and hosts and people and crew to thank and, y'know, explosive feelings after finishing an emotional set of shows and a long stint of travel. The photographer (Lucky) from the final show just got their shots in.
There's so much to sift through....and so much to say.
I think I'll start with something unusual as I settle into the Great After of this Down Under tour.
I've played a lot of "unusual" shows, especially very-last minute ones like these, and I've become nimble as plans constantly shift. My team has learned the exhausting marathon of shifting with me as we chase the golden ring of this Business of Show.
Some artists only plan tours eighteen months in advance. We did that with the There Will Be No Intermission tour. We had venues booked a year out. It pays off. We ultimately played that show to 100,000 people in huge theaters. It was grand. Getting those asses in those chairs took a lot of work. Huzzah.
And then, sometimes, I call Jordan and Michael and say: guess what? we're going to Australia and New Zealand in a month. I can hear the pause, the sigh, the short breath in....
And I launch into thge "NO IT'S GOING TO BE FUN" speech.
The sighs still greet me.
But Michael said something to me in the airport today, and I listened (I'm learning, more, to listen). It is, indeed, chaotic and often boundaryless.
But it is - without a doubt - what makes me, me. And us, us.
The patreon itself reflects this. It's why you're all still here.
Because, if you haven't clocked it by now, I do not always do things the....standard way.
The fact that I actually like to spend the time in my life to sit for a full afternoon (usually) and pore through the tour photos and try to figure out how to write the story behind the tour, the story of the community, the exchange, the many two-way gifts, the art shared and given, the tears and glee that mingle....
The shows are not just shows, they're living, breathing, extensions of the community itself.
But shows take work. They are houses that require architecting.
That's why my team is so important.
Many any of you know Michael, and many of you down under have met Jordan, but I just wanted to take my hat of off, put my heart on my hand, and commend these two fellows for working so incredibly hard, with so much patience, so much dedication, and so much understanding.
Day in and day out, over emails and calls, on the phone, on endless text threads, googling, hunting, chasing, creating to-do lists, ordering merch, changing flight times, delaing with rental cars, renting musical gear, negotiating with venues, chasing down packages, seeing if venues are accessable, grappling with last-minute guest lists, doing errands so that the artists can all eat, fielding press, figuring out ticketing link gaffes....and helping do everything that has to be done to make these shows WORK.
If they do their jobs, everything just seems very calm and normal when you walk into the venue, buy a poster, get a drink, and sit down.
You see the stage, the lights, and the piano and hear the songs, but you do not see an iota of the work, and TIME, that these two guys put into this tour.
And since it's show business, certain things just happen the way they happen...when they happen. Some things can't "wait until next week". It's like being an on-call doctor when it's tour time. Triage, code reds, clean ups on aisle 5, broken gear, you name it.
So I'm here to say: thank you to Jordan Verzar, my and The Dolls' manager of a decade.
Thank you to Michael McComiskey, working for me and the band nearly as long.
And huge thanks are also due to all three venues who hosted us, every person who hosted us in their homes, my European and US agents, my US management at Red Light, my publicists, my lawyers, my financial managers and ALLLLL the hidden pieces of biz-cog who work tirelessly to keep this artist and this band going.
Without all that help, I cannot get on stage, forget about it all, pound piano keys and scream my heart out.
Sometimes it's worth pointing out.
They are the spine of the operation, and that metaphor becomes more and more apt as the structures around us go haywire, and the term "spineless" calls to mind a broken, oozing creature that doesn't have integrity, definition, nimbleness, balance, speed. The spine stays put, it flexes but it doesn't bend too far. It has tight members, stacked and working in concert. It has to support the dancing body, the delirious jazz hands of catharsis.
Or, as Mötorhead put it:
Another bloody customs post
Another fucking foreign coast
Another set of scars to boast
We are the road crew
Where next?
Oh, you'll see. We got plans. :)
And of course, I am nothing, nothing without you, the audience, the patrons, the readers, the digestion system who holds me so beautifully.
I weep as I write.
For real.
Thank you all for showing up.
My gratitude goes deep.
We did it.
Love and more soon...
XX
A
LOOK!!!
A HATER!!!!
These photos by Lucky:
P.S. We cannot not thank Odie. Odie truly holds it all together. Me, Jordan (‘s mouth), Michael and…Odie.
Comments
Scott Meekins
It's great to see you guys having a good time, Amanda! Everyday in your life should be like that!
sophie
brilliant photos wish id been able to be there!
Coila
Making friends and feeling cozy in the PNW. Reminds me enough of California to feel like home. But only because I've lived a long time in the cold, damp part of California. 😂🫣 Even though that's not where I started out. I'm from the hot places with spicy food. ❤️🔥
marci🦇
it’s good to have such a great support network/team 💜 safe travels home and hope i can make the new show you’re about to announce!! 📣 💜💫
EmVT
Fun stuff, looks/ sounds amazing can’t wait to see more! 🎶🎵🎶🎤🎹
Anika Hartley
I can't imagine what you've been through Kerrie. Amanda explained briefly that this tour had suffered, I think, at least five venue changes. The team would book a venue, and then a few weeks/days later, the venue would cancel. They would book another venue, and then that venue would cancel. I can only imagine this is due to the entire online groups devoted to shutting down anything related to Amanda and a certain fantasy author. It might seem like the hate has died down, but Amanda remains a very controversial figure for a lot of people. It seems like a lot of venues just didn't want the heat. I don't think the lack of accessibility, amenities, clarity, and advance notice was a sign of a lack of care on the part of Amanda's team. There almost wasn't a show at all because no venue could be sourced. Personally, I blame the Reddit haters for costing you this gig; and I'm sorry this happened to you. I really hope they can stop bullying venues into dropping Amanda, so she can return to inclusive touring, as I am sure that is her desire.
VTRADDICT
Seeing you perform always feels like a moment of calm and enjoyment in the midst of the storm of whatever else is going on outside that room. You, Fleassy and Brendan all put your hearts and considerable talents into the show and it blew me away emotionally, while also feeding my heart. The venue felt almost surreal - through a tiny door in a nondescript building tucked away behind a row of old terrace houses to emerge into an incredible room which was almost a metaphor in itself - carved from the literal rock at the back of the room, but looking out the windows over the trees at the city beyond as a backdrop to the performance. While Jordan may disagree - I'm actually a little bit happy that the original venues didn't work out, because I don't think they could have been even close to the one you filled with emotion and art that night. (And that piano! A Steinway grand? Fucking incredible!) The room being full of other members of this amazing, weird, art-fuelled extended family of the Patreon made it extra special, and even more private and intimate. It was great seeing some old friends and meeting some new ones, and I feel like my creative batteries have been recharged - when I didn't even realise they were running low. It was lovely seeing Brendan and Michael again, and also meeting Fleassy and Jordan - you really do surround yourself with the best people. Knowing you, and being a part of all of this - it makes me smile. And that means a lot. Thankyou, and come back soon. 🫂
Kerrie Chapman
This is the first time that I’ve missed you travelling through Melbourne in over a decade….. around the ice bath time things changed here…. As a nurse we went from bushfires into Covid and then returned to bushfires this year. Unfortunately, the Unknown change of venue left me not knowing if I could access it. Access is more than just wheelchairs and steps. It’s climate control and knowing the location and layout of the building… whether it’s a safe space or one that disregards accessibility completely. I developed post viral illness/POTS after picking up Covid at work in a major public hospital in April 2020 with unsafe infection control practices, and the last six years of my life have been a living hell. So much so that when I sleep, I have nightmares about my waking life…. So much of the “before” and the “after” is connected through your presence in those key times…. But I feared the step access venue was perhaps Trades Hall (not known for great climate control), and I have zero ability to control how my body reacts to heat, as my heart rate goes up to 180 BPM just sitting up on a hot day. I bought a ticket but returned it …. I recognise folk in the photographs because there is an amazing community of people I connect with that you have helped bring together. I went from an athletic experienced nurse to almost bed-bound, with the loss of my nursing registration looming after not being able to practice for 5yrs. I am familiar with Brunswick Ballroom (even worked on the door when it was the spotted Mallard), with a far better layout for visibility and access…. They do not rate for me from an accessibility viewpoint…. however not knowing the location became an instant barrier. I’m sorry that I missed your performance and storytelling, community and connection. I do believe that artists need to help all members of their community - and they have the power to make inclusivity and Access part of the experience, even if the venue does not traditionally have a good reputation for this. It just feels like one more thing I’ve missed in life, and as I slowly give up on everything that I love, my reasons to exist have shrunk to a pint sized terrier who identifies as a working dog, who I can barely care for. The way the world is, I’m really struggling to see reasons to stay in it. I’m glad that you’ve been able to return to familiarity in the southern hemisphere and a community that cares for you. As someone who had the freedom of physical ability in 2019 to be in an ice bath, and then spontaneously decide to go to a fundraiser gig that evening,…. One who saw the book end Hamer Hall performances… my gentle and polite nature is slowly becoming replaced with an IDGAF if People dislike my feedback…. Because a lot of your community struggle with chronic illness and I’m quite possibly not the only person who missed out this time. Despite being critical, this is a message delivered with love. I’m not sure if you’ll even see this, but I needed to let you know that whilst I understand how complex and multifactorial touring is, community got left behind this year. 💜🥺
Fleassy Malay
It was lovely to meet you Shannon 💗
Shannon Parsons
Big love to Jordan and Michael for always going the extra mile and bringing us the opportunities to share space with you and the other amazing artists you bring to our attention. Your Melb show was cathartic for me and I loved every minute. Seeing someone I know from a different context after the show, meeting and chatting to Fleassy and Brendan and other talented people before giving you a hug and hopefully a moment to catch your breath has filled my creative, angry, righteous cup. Thank you AFP 🙏😈
VTRADDICT
Brendan and Amanda are two of the kindest and loveliest people I know, and the three of you did an amazing job together. I would not have guessed you didn't feel confident singing with them for a second. I was very happy to meet you after the show as well. Another kind and lovely person to add to the list! 🥰
Fleassy Malay
I have so much I want to say, but I've not carved myself a moment to write it. As I travel home from another show tonight (students of mine performing, not me) and as I juggle all the non-rockstar elements of keeping up with life, and rent, and life, I carry with me the potency of those two gigs. You know, once I get my citizenship sorted I'm going to chase you up on that tour seeds you planted ;-) If there is one thing I have to say, it is this: I was blown away by the tenderness that both you and Brendan held me in when I switched from confident spoken word performer to "oh shit they want me to sing". Rarely do people invest such trust and encouragement in me as a singer/musician. It meant a lot that you continued to believe even after seeing my falter, and also found a way to meet me where I could go without trying to sweep me to the side despite having only a smidge of the skills that yourself and Brendan have. Thank you for not making me feel like a burden or a failure, but that im valuable even in my learning stage, even in my catapillar form. 💗💗 As a fellow artist, and performer, it is a gift to be treated this way by my peers. There are many other things I would like to say... but thats all for now.
Fleassy Malay
Oh Laura!! 😊😊😊 thank you! I love experiencing you in both my world and in Amanda's, it always feels like a spark, a magical crossover. 💗
Laura Morland
Love, love, love reading all the details of what the amazing Michael and Jordan did to create your three shows in Oz. To echo what someone wrote below, you have a talented team because you are the phenomenal centrifugal force at the center. And I'm THRILLED that you invited the multi-talented Fleassy Malay to open for you in Melbourne. (I was hoping you would.) Thanks to you, I joined Fleassy's Patreon in '20 or '21, and she never ceases to amaze. She should be way more famous than she is. (But you're helping her get there!)
