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Up- Outrun - Chapter 71

🕑 Added 2024-04-08 15:01:07 +0000 UTC

Comments

Lost Rain

Sorry, if that came across as sarcastic. Negative feedback shows areas I need to work on, so I really am thankful for all your comments

lenkite

The story in general is rather enjoyable reading. (I really should give some positive comments too, but pointing out inconsistencies is unfortunately hard-coded in me from my career)

Lost Rain

I rewrote the end. Even though it is almost always negative, I really do appreciate all your feedback! It pushes me to be a better writer. Thank you!

lenkite

Why doesn't she go through some normal training first ? You really don't learn *anything* if this is the first time you are thrown into a sword fight - she doesn't even know how to grip the sword or any stances or movements. Its kinda useless sparring like this. Swords require far more training than firing a gun. In the ordinary world, you usually go through 50 hours of training before actually fighting with a sword in a spar. (Man - that was painful and my back hurt all the while) Setting aside time-dilated perk training experiences, with her system advantage, I would say she needs 5-10 hours of training before *actually* sparring. I also don't really like Mira here. She knows her friend has ZERO experience with melee weapons and she is immediately sparring with her instead of training her ? She has military training - her friend has none. Beating down a first-day newbie give her thrills ?


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