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Outrun - Chapter 296

🕑 Added 2025-08-29 22:04:00 +0000 UTC

Comments

UnderwhelmingBird

Heh, Shiro's still not quite off the warpath yet, and long-term sleep deprivation does tend to make people cranky even several days after they start to get a more regular sleep schedule set up. Without looking the number up, I think the number usually touted is about a week. That ring is interesting, very interesting. Would it pick up overt subvocalization as well? Where it could hardly be considered a whisper and usually results in a "what was that?" in response to someone's muttering. Common for folk who get bound up in their head while working on stuff, though in that case it could hardly be considered properly coherent as most of the 'conversation' is happening internally. Anyhoo, I'll bet the fur of aether boofers would make solid nesting material. Jussayin. Once their winter coat starts to shed they wont need it anyhow yeah? The birds would practically be doing them a favor, helping them out with any stubborn tufts and freeing them of a minor-to-moderate burden. They might even deserve a treat for their service, it's the neighborly thing to do.

Arkus86

"Mira had made it clear he didn’t want to be alone." -> "she didn't want"

kreiverin

Thanks

Lost Rain

Thank you, those are all fixed. Good suggestions! The last one was supposed to be toward Shiro. I cleared it up a bit.

Gardor

“Chek. Just need to plug this,” I pulled out the chip with the broken down Sentinel plan, “in and I’ll be done.” -> i think the "in" should be with the first half of the sentence, before the action description. But im sure theres an actual grammar rule about it, dunno if im right, im just going on vibes. Maybe you are supposed to immediately switch to describing the object interaction after referencing said object. "The entire ride up, he chatted with Saint about everything and nothing, easily getting along with the reporter. It was kind of scary how easy he got along with everyone." -> think ya should switch this to Saint chatting with the corpo, it reinforces why its scary how well Saint gets on with people. "Saint chatted with him/the corpo...easily getting along with the office drone". "Saint shot an apologetic look out of the eye of Oakley, looking genuinely remorseful" -> "in to the eye", or better yet "apologetic look at Oakley". Tyftc


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