Lost Rain
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Chapter 252 rewrite?
🕑 Added 2025-05-20 02:04:49 +0000 UTCI got a message about how the current setup feels very forced for 251/252. I’m feeling a bit the same, though it’s partially intentional to get through the rest of the arc a bit quicker. This poll is to figure out how y’all feel about it, and if I should change anything.
1. If I should Continue. This arc will be done in the next 4-5 chapters. Nothing changes.
2. If I should Change stuff, this arc will stretch out a bit longer, but will hopefully feel a bit less forced. I’ll rewrite the end of 251 and completely retcon 252. I’ll stay up a bit later the next week to try and catch buck up to schedule.
I don’t really mind either way. It’s a hundred percent up to you guys.
Comments
Gardor
Kinda feel like she should have just hid in a closet somewhere, maybe im just not understanding the scale of the frequently referenced incoming bombardment.
llenay
It felt quite natural to me. The only thing that felt contrived was that Shiro got discovered because she didn't switch her phone off.
Mark Robert Mitchell
Well, you could argue that she is only there because of anti plot armor. For example, why split up with the Valkyrie. I suppose it’s all in the presentation and delivery. A longer chapter would explain more about the decision making. A more vivid description of the things the plant cult did in the exclusion zone would create more tension. It’s kinda against genre to have that much description but eh I like it. (One of my favorite books in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell.)
GlassStone
I really like how 251-252 felt because it showed what a presence Mother has become. It reminds me of a fly stuck struggling in a spiders web and really emphasizes the power difference. However something small that I think could really add to the story would be to more clearly showing how injured Shiro is with a sentence or two in 251 or 252. Like Shiro has racked up a concussion, broken ankle, a mutilated shoulder, damaged leg muscles, an uncountable number of scrapes/bruises, and extreme blood loss. A little sentence or two about how muddled her thoughts are and how her body is starting to not respond to her correctly could really go a long way. I really like how they read right now though so I think you should keep going. :)
Gardor
Haven't read since 249 so i say do whatever you want. Burn it all down and start fresh!
chris salinas
It's just hard to see a character with no way out facing impossible odds. I'm fine leaving it as is because we know she'll eventually escape/succeed but whether or not she survives by plot armor or if she's given the agency to save herself makes or breaks this arc for me.
Sam Stanfield
I honestly just want this arc over with at this point
Blah64
idk, felt fine to me. This felt likely for a few chapters already.
