JinsariaKhavra
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Progress update!: Meds change,long term plans,good news
🕑 Added 2023-09-09 00:17:04 +0000 UTCtl;dr : good news! everything is getting better. new meds seem to be working, Long term goals are coming together.
Some people may or may not know this but I've been struggling with untreated ADHD for most of my life. I had parents who didn't believe in doctors unless it was an emergency and the idea of ADHD never even crossed their mind. so a diagnosis was never something on the table. eventually I learned to deal with it. Somehow I went through life thinking that everyone had to gather all their mental strength just to do simple tasks. Or maybe thought I was just weak willed. I figured everyone struggled to get up every morning and had to fight with them selves on every task to stay on track never mind FINISH anything. I thought I struggled with school work because I was dumb or lazy...because that's what everyone always told me. I had terrible self worth and very little self esteem most of my life which got me into a lot of trouble with messy relationships. But somehow I went my entire young adult life without even considering that I might have ADHD? I mean..in my adult life my doctors said "Maybe you have depression? here's some pills" Or.. "Clearly you have anxiety! here's some pills." Which never worked...The antidepressants gave me serotonin syndrome and the anxiety meds made me too dizzy to function....SO I kinda just, dealt with it? It was mostly manageable until a couple of years ago when it started slowly getting worse and worse to the point I couldn't get by anymore. Working was starting to become an impossible tasks most days and other days I would work 14 hours non-stop and add to my burnout. Then out of the blue at my new endocrinologist, she asks "have you ever been evaluated for ADHD?" and I genuinely realized..."Wait? that's something I can have? Noone has suggested it before" well apparently almost noone suggests it because they expect you to have...you know...SEEN A DOCTOR BETWEEN THE AGES OF 3 and 18....
So yea, that started that adventure... My primary care went to the "maybe you are just depressed/anxious" angle again so begrudgingly we tried that again. and it kinda helped but I always felt tranquilized and I was too dizzy to work for like 2 hours after every dose. and FINALLY at the beginning of summer they are like "maybe it really is ADHD" but had to go through a bunch of hoops because of my recent history of cardiac issues (tachycardia and palpitations when I had covid) So I had to see a cardiologist to make sure that was okay (good news! it is!) and went back to my doctor...But since It's IMPOSSIBLE to get into an appointment with a psychiatrist around here right now and it's very hard to get stimulants prescribed plus shortages. my doctor wanted me to try one more thing because it's supposed to help with ADHD . Bupropion, which if anyone has experience with, can be quite the trip. and was kinda contraindicated since I tried it a long time ago and it gave me hallucinations. but apparently since that was almost 10 years ago my doctor figures it's worth the risk of trying it again, plus starting at a low dose. upping dose on the 12th, 2 weeks after starting.
But anyway.The good news is that it seems to be working! at least a little. I wouldn't say I'm perfect but I seem to be back to my pre-covid levels of concentration..Though i'm really feeling the burnout of pushing my self through it for the past few months. I'm looking forward to upping my dose since I'm crashing hard in the evenings when I would be taking the second dose. I'm also sleeping way better and not fast switching between tasks as much, at least early in the day after taking it. Again...evenings are TOUGH for me right now.
Work has been slow but all this got worse at a bad time, Right in the middle of moving from Blender to C4D and preparing for the "main" comic.
The good news is that the important characters are designed and laid out for the main comic. The main arcs are laid out. I know what I need to make.
Doing something that still has a lot of horny and kinky content along the way but has a more epic and serious storyline throughout. Something I can truly be proud of as a creative outlet.
The bad news is that with how far behind I am. almost none of it is modeled yet. Still hoping to have it done by the holiday though. wrapping up the current comic in a couple of months then having page 1 of the new comic by Christmas ish time. But schedules are subject to change depending on how new meds treat me and if I need to take the adventure on finding more powerful ADHD meds if this one doesn't work well enough.
Other good news. Page 18 is almost ready for release, I just have to do the page layout once the weather clears up here and make the speech bubbles. And page 19 is coming along well too.
Aeva has been busy with her own projects too but she has been amazingly helpful and patient with me while I've been such a mess. Couldn't do this without her.
Thank you all for your patience, Have been wanting to update everyone on exactly what's been going on but with the storms around here right now stopping work, I finally got the chance to think about it.
As always, You are all awesome <3
