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Late evenings into early mornings, when I take Ellie out for..
🕑 Added 2025-04-11 00:30:06 +0000 UTCLate evenings into early mornings, when I take Ellie out for a walk, there’s this floor-level unit we pass that almost always has the glow of a huge TV just beyond their floor-to-ceiling patio windows. I do my best not to stare—but still, it’s hard not to notice the first-person shooter playing on the screen. 🐶🌕🖥️🎮🎧
Something about it always tugs at this oddly specific longing in me. There’s just something about decent gamers, especially the online FPS kind, that stirs up a mix of admiration and envy. Closest I ever got was way back with old-school text-based roleplay—refreshing the page to see if anyone replied. Later there was EverQuest, which now feels like the digital version of telling kids I used to walk uphill both ways in the snow.
I genuinely get a warm little serotonin hit seeing someone fully immersed like that—plus a bit of envy, knowing my own brain would be too anxious about not “being productive” to enjoy it. The last time I tried to jump into a more recent game during COVID, I was quickly reminded I don’t have the reflexes, muscle memory, or patience for being yelled at through headsets by angry tea-ns.
So I keep walking, respecting windows. Letting Ellie sniff the same leaf for 45 seconds. Watching someone else’s kill streak from a safe—and hopefully non-creepy—distance. 😂😝
