Sexxx Ed: Is Only Fans considered cheating?
This conversati..
🕑 Added 2023-04-20 22:47:10 +0000 UTC
Sexxx Ed: Is Only Fans considered cheating?
This conversation was SO good. Here’s what we covered:
- how I was okay with making porn but not comfortable with my date watching porn😅🙈 and how I moved through that and am now comfortable with my dates watching porn
- how to find out what’s really going on and not just reacting to surface behavior
- the difference between doing something in private vs doing something in secret
- how to help unleash the inner freak in your partner
- how to respond when you find out your partner is doing something that makes you feel betrayed, lied to, or cheated on
- a man’s #1 job when it comes to women
- plus the 4 questions below!!
Since I originally answered the 4 questions below in an article format, I’m posting the whole thing below so you can read it. So you can watch the video to get all the juicy details and examples or you can read below and get the gist of the video above.😊
Either way, enjoy and let me know if you have any other questions in the comments below!
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I am both a life coach who helps individuals and couples live their best lives. I am also one of Only Fans' top creators. I have men, women, queer folx, and couples subscribed to my Only Fans and often reach out to me for life coaching support around intimacy issues. As someone who actively bridges the space between being sexual and professional, both intimate and explicit, here is what I often share with my subscribers and my clients who also wonder if subscribing to a page like mine is considered cheating:
1. Is subscribing to an Only Fans without your partner's knowledge considered cheating?
As with most things, this varies from couple to couple. I have had men subscribe to my page asking for tips on how to better pleasure their partner, how to deal with their sex shame, ask for advice on whether or not they should leave their relationship, and more. The conversations we have in the DMs often lead to clarity, permission, freedom, communication tools, and practical ways to improve their lives - and their partners' lives. So while some people may consider it cheating, I view it as a safe outlet to express fears, desires, and questions that would otherwise go unaddressed, leading to other issues. I also believe there is a difference between doing something in private and doing something in secret. The former often leads to healing and revelations, the latter in shame and fear. I help my subscribers lean towards the first.
2. At what point should you be concerned about your partner's consumption of adult content?
Like with most things, once it starts interfering with daily life, that's when it's time to have an honest conversation with your partner. Even then I think it's important to not get caught up in the morality of it as much as to find out what's driving the over-consumption. Is there something they're avoiding? Afraid of? Ashamed of? Can you be a safe person for your partner to open up about what's really going on without shaming, blaming, or punishing them? If so, you're more likely to have a productive conversation that can lead to healing and closeness, rather than a fight that makes it even easier for your partner to turn to consumption of adult content to numb out, feel better, or cool down.
3.What advice would you give someone who feels betrayed by their partner's use of Only Fans?
Go deeper and find out why you feel betrayed. Is it because your partner once told you they would never subscribe to something like Only Fans only to find out they do? Or is it because you were taught when you were a kid that all adult content is evil and wrong so you assume your partner must be doing something evil and wrong? If you can get to the feelings behind the betrayal, you have a much better chance at addressing the core issue and not just your initial reaction.
4. What are tips for discussing their feelings with their partner?
First, you have to do it from a calm place. It's difficult, but being calm will greatly increase your chances of a civil and productive conversation rather than a heated debate that results in you both feeling further apart. Know why you're bringing it up. What's your ask? What do you desire as a result of these (ongoing) conversations? Often we dive right into a discussion/debate because we're angry and hurt and we're reacting from our pain rather than responding from our power. When you know your intention for bringing it up to your partner, it'll keep you clear and cool headed to make sure the conversation doesn't derail but that you both stay on track in having an open and honest, albeit difficult, conversation. If you love your person, then love them and yourself enough to get to a calm place with a clear ask and a desire to better understand one another. They deserve to be heard and so do you; so create a time and space to do just that, and you're more likely to walk away with a solution rather than a heartbreak.
