CuteGiraffe
fansly
🕑 Added 2022-05-24 12:58:57 +0000 UTC
I know a lot of people here started following me on my journey when I posted on Reddit about realizing my family was toxic and not loving. I just wanted to update everyone about how things are going.
I’ve been no contact now for over a year, and I’ve improved a lot. I know it doesn’t seem like it sometimes ;) but I wanted to write this for me and you about how far we’ve come and can go.
The amount that I react, and the amount of time I react for, has gone down so much. I here myself saying encouraging thoughts now, instead of always being negative. “It’s okay we go this, instead I fucking suck and this sucks”
I think that has a lot to do with healing. I couldn’t heal from being around toxic and manipulating people when I was living with them, and honestly if you’ve lived with manipulating and toxic people before, you probably didn’t realize until you were older, if you did. toxic people are very good at being manipulating and getting what they want, without making it seem that way.
For me I had a lot of big ideas I would share with my family about what I wanted to do, and sometimes my parents would just stop talking to me because “they feared for my future” but they were not supportive of me or what I wanted. They projected their fears into me, told me my dreams were silly, but I still had to work and do what they said, completely ignoring anything I wanted.
I know I wanted to try all of my dreams tho. I knew I would regret it one day if I lived someone else’s life so they would be happy.
I used to punish myself too, why can’t I just do what other people want? Why can’t I just be happy doing “normal” things?
But you can’t care about what other people think, and once you don’t, chasing your dreams is so much easier.
Going no contact with a toxic family is the best thing you can do for your life. It was for me anyway, I have room to breath now. I get to think of what I want to do each day with nothing holding me back, and I get to give myself all the love and attention I missed out on
