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When I started, I thought it was just a temporary phase and ..
🕑 Added 2024-12-22 04:20:03 +0000 UTCWhen I started, I thought it was just a temporary phase and I’d snap out of it and get my head straight. The only meat I ate in the beginning was chicken and fish and I remember how good it tasted. It took some time before I tried all the other meats. I didn’t think the weight would stay on me. It was strange making the decision to be less active but I decided to be lazy to slow down my metabolism (this hasn’t worked yet, still very fast but I’ll keep trying). I kept measuring and weighing and in the first year, hardly gained anything and was thinking of giving up. That’s when I decided to start drinking melted ice cream and to make smoothies with ice cream, peanut butter and bananas. Those things helped me get a little belly. I think I am still “stick thin”, with a small belly but “skinny” every where else but I’m sure I might feel fat in the next six months or in the next year. On the plus side, my belly is substantial enough for me to want to lift it with my hand when I go up stairs to take some weight off my knees. I can’t wait till I see I fat girl looking back at me in the mirror. I know my bmi indicates obesity. I think I’ll feel chubby when my BMI is over 60 and will hopefully feel fat when it gets past 100. I’ll know I’ve got my dream blob body when my BMI surpasses 150, if I can get there.
In terms of quitting being a vegetarian, I must say, the first time I had chicken as an adult was amazing. I don’t regret being vegetarian and I still care about animal rights and sustainability but not enough to deprive myself. My urge to be a giant blob is stronger than any other desire. Also, I think I’m going to be successful in overcoming my addiction to work. I’ve been a workaholic for most of my adult life but now I’m putting my work ethic into gaining weight which sometimes means cooking a lot and I’m now in a position where I have to make very good content so I can afford all the decadent foods that I love. Time will see if I can pull this off. Feels like I got myself into a corner and I’m both nervous and excited.
