I didn’t wanna share this story, but I’m all alone right now..
🕑 Added 2021-03-27 10:21:15 +0000 UTC
I didn’t wanna share this story, but I’m all alone right now and if I keep it to myself any longer I’m going to explode
I haven’t been able to sleep the last few nights, just lots of tossing and turning around, eating way too much sugar and smoking too much pot each day (only for like 4 days now but it’s not good lol)
Things ending with Dustin were definitely frustrating because he was telling me all of these things over text that just weren’t true, and asking for a second chance. I don’t understand why the men I’m attracted to end up having so many problems that they try to mask or put off as just bad days.
I was questioning if I should give him a second chance (I hate being alone and I was wondering if I should just settle so I could be with someone) and a day later I got a snap from an ex I worked at Costco with. We’ll call him Damon so I don’t get him mixed up with Dustin
But Damon snapped me and I asked what he wanted and he basically asked me why he missed me and wanted to reconnect and he really fucked with my brain and I let him
I’m definitely not ready to be with someone because if an ex comes back who’s literally bullied me and hurt me really bad before, and I just let them in again, that’s a sign I’m way too desperate and I’m not entering that relationship for the right reasons
I’m so mad at myself right now and I don’t know why
I even asked my personal trainer for a day off and he was putting pressure on me to just feel better and go to the gym so I’m not going to be working with him anymore
I know I’ll still work out and take care of myself but I really just need to stop being so angry because that’s not going to help me get back on track
I feel like cutting off the possibility of ever being with someone again and just focusing on myself but even that makes me so sad
I think I just need to let myself feel what my bodies feeling for a while but I’m so confused as to why I keep brining the same cold hearted men into my life, why am I attracted to toxic relationships?
