thefinerstuff
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---------SERVICE: The Cup Of Tea--------- Service, while on..
🕑 Added 2021-05-16 16:29:41 +0000 UTC ---------SERVICE: The Cup Of Tea--------- Service, while one of my favourite kinks, is not easy, and I resent those who pretend like it is. I occasionally come across people from both sides of the slash who insist that I would receive perfect service every time if I was only ‘truly,’ or ‘naturally’ dominant. Which is a load of bullshit. And I feel like by presenting service as effortless (on both sides), we are doing a disservice to the community at large. Don’t believe me about how much work service is for the Dom? Let me show you an example. Let’s say you are a new submissive whom I have brought back to my house for the first time. I sit down and enjoy a lovely foot massage until I decide I’m thirsty. “Make me some tea,” I order you. You spring to your feet and-- Well... You don’t know where anything is. So, I have to tell you where I keep my tea, and which type of tea I want. If it’s a loose leaf tea, I also may have to explain where the bags are and how much to use. I then also have to show you where I keep my mugs and instruct you on which one to use (big or small? Fancy?). I will also have to show you where I keep the kettle and how it works- whether or not it requires the stove (and then how to use my stove top), and how it will work (will it shut off automatically?). While we are waiting for the water to boil, I will also have to tell you what I want in my tea. What sort of sweetener do I use, and where can you find it? What sort of milk/whitener do I use and where could you find that too? And how much do I want of either and in what order do you add them? Once the water boils, how long do you steep my tea? Notice how I spent nearly 200 words describing the considerations that go into making a cup of tea. I haven’t even gotten to any of the fun kinky protocols I may desire. All that I typed out is just a representation of what I may need to explain to a sub before I get a cup of tea. All that effort, and the cup of tea may not even be up to my standards until multiple tries later. If you look at how much energy I have to spend in order to tell you how to make a cup of tea, I may as well just make it myself. Ideally, the point of service is that once I teach you, I no longer have to expend any energy, but it takes a lot of time and effort to get to that point. So when a fresh-faced newbie DMs me, offering service, what I see is the amount of micromanagement I would need to do for the first few days/weeks- and the reality that this person may disappear before I even get to reap the benefits of my training. So if I decide to start training someone for service, that choice represents the faith I have that this person will both improve, and stick around long enough to genuinely be a force of good in my life. It isn’t something I take lightly, and it’s also why I get frustrated when I see people behave as though service is something that happens without effort.
