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**#ThrowbackThursday** Recently on cam, I confessed that I..
🕑 Added 2022-01-13 14:31:24 +0000 UTC **#ThrowbackThursday** Recently on cam, I confessed that I participated in a local bikini pageant about four years ago - and many of you wanted to see some photos - so here I present to you, proof lol. Unfortunately, I can't post many photos from the event due to the appearance of other participants, and background images that give away personal information. And yes, I had hair extensions in the last two photos ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ. When I was presented the opportunity to participate, I honestly laughed and said "yeah right" ๐. Not because I personally have anything against pageants or those who compete in them, but because I was never the type to exuberate confidence. Being in the spotlight was something so terrifying to me (*still is lol*). I rarely open up about this, but body dysmorphia is also something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. With age, though, I've slowly learned to overcome it because it is incredibly *exhausting* to constantly criticize your body - especially things that you have no control over - and I honestly had enough of it controlling my life. Which is what ultimately lead to my decision to join the pageant (*along with the possibility of winning a nice cash prize ๐ค haha*). I knew that I would never gain the confidence in life unless I faced my fears and pushed myself out of my comfort zone. Not that participating in one pageant would magically fix all of my insecurities lol, but it was one step towards growth. I rocked the walk, but my stage fright got the best of me during the interview segment. I was terrified, and ended up stumbling over my words ๐ lol. BUT, I placed second runner up and honestly, it was still a win for me regardless because the experience alone helped me gain more confidence โจ (*as superficial as the event sounds*). Would I ever do it again?? Hell no lmao. But looking back, I am proud of myself for giving it a shot โบ๏ธ. It also gave me a genuine appreciation for the women who regularly participate in these because I can tell you from experience, that it is not as easy as it looks!
