I gotta talk about some stuff that’s been heavy on my mind l..
🕑 Added 2020-05-11 21:05:43 +0000 UTC
I gotta talk about some stuff that’s been heavy on my mind lately with y’all. I know today is supposed to be an update day but the week has been so fucking heavy and I genuinely don’t have it in me to film anything today. It’s really hard to stay in shape right now because of the pandemic and lock down, I was doing pretty good before all of this happened and even in the beginning. But lately I don’t even wanna get out of bed, I hate looking at myself in the mirror, I feel myself slipping into dumb habits like having 10 cups of coffee instead of eating a whole meal to make up for not being able to exercise properly and that’s scary. This has always been something I struggled with. Today when I woke up to not only sad news about the passing of an idol and amazing person/youtuber Corey La Barrie but some dumb ass “rank” on IG from someone talking only about my weight I kinda snapped. I should have come here and vented it out but I put it on IG and bro.. It’s so weird how people will just attack you for no reason. Because I do porn people think I don’t deserve respect, or common courtesy. People think they should be able to say whatever they want to me, they can judge me, call me names, but I’m not allowed to tell them to shut up because I... get naked for a job. The internet is such a weird and judgmental place. I remember when I first started and people didn’t know who I was it was the best because nobody was really mean to me. Now I’m under a microscope 24/7. I miss being a nobody, and being able to be myself without consequence. I guess that’s what I like about OF over twitter or IG because you can really be yourself on here and as dumb as it sounds people are less likely to be mean or cruel because they have to pay. I think I’ve had like 5 people in the 4 years I’ve been on here subscribe just to call me fat or ugly lol. I’m not weak but I have been getting hate for a while now and I’ll admit it’s starting to pick at me a little. I’m really grateful for each and every one of you, thank you all for the kind words, the likes, the feedback on my content. YOU GUYS are the ones who keep me going and help me realize that those people don’t matter. 💞 I love you. I promise I’m not gonna sit in bed and cry all day, I’m really gonna get myself together and have an update for tomorrow. But today do me a favor, go on Twitter or Instagram and shout out your fav sex worker. I’m not saying go tip or go spend money but go tell them you love them and that they deserve the world. 💞❤️
