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🕑 Added 2023-01-19 12:46:55 +0000 UTC everybody wants a sexy mental egirl until she's sleeping all day every day to escape reality and smells like a rat's ass cus she hasn't bathed her greasy, crusty self in a week. i like to say i'm generally a pretty open person about most things, but like anybody, i can't be completely transparent about everything all the time. the few things i don't like to talk about are things i'm scared to share because these topics leave me too emotionally vulnerable. i know i'm always miserable about something, but damn i wish it was just the little things making me upset now. if only you knew the horrors i've faced. i forgot about half of everything that happened to me until recently because i blocked out a lot of the memories. i'll tell you a little bit, but i'm keeping it somewhat vague because i really just want to forget about all of it again. none of this even relates to or takes place in the same timeline of when my internet presence became a thing. an evil being has tormented my family for many years. this all started when i was still a min0r. when i was 18, a life was taken from my family, yet that still wasn't enough to satisfy their evil soul. the evil witch didn't leave me alone until i was well into 19. this is the time my insomnia started. i had always been a night owl growing up, but this was legitimate insomnia. at night, i would only be able to get about 2-3 hours of sleep, before staring at my ceiling wide awake at 1 am. i was never able to fall back asleep, dragged myself to school when it was about time for my 1 college class (cus 1 class was all i could handle at the time), then i would maybe take a 30 min -1 hour nap before heading to work with a headache. i repeated this every day for several months until i finally got the idea to cycle through different sleep supplements when whatever i was taking didn't work anymore. i'm still dependent on sleeping aids. eventually, the evil being left me alone, but my whole life had been irreparably damaged. i didn't have the courage to be public on any social media until i was about 20. after lots of time had passed, i blocked out all the memories of the harassment, but was & am still depressed over a multitude of reasons. i never told anyone about the agonizing torment i was going through at the time because i didn't want it to take up any more space in my mind. i just wanted to be distracted & pretend like it wasn't happening. i successfully distracted myself all these years until the evil being made their presence known again by harassing my family members. the worst part of this all is there is nothing i can do about it. i want to forget it all again.
