pisssbabyy
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do i look cute when i cry? the other night, i was having a p..
🕑 Added 2024-03-26 03:15:32 +0000 UTC do i look cute when i cry? the other night, i was having a psychotic breakdown & laying in the street bc i wanted to become a speed bump. i also acted like a crazy fucking cunt to this guy cus he hurt my feelings. i couldn't handle him rejecting me after i had already formed an emotional attachment from the way he treated me so sweetly before. for some reason, i can't just act fucking normal & move the fuck on, so i acted fucking crazy to make him hate me. i needed to become a villain, so that i would deserve the pain i was feeling. i needed to absolutely obliterate that bridge so i wouldn't be able to keep holding on. deep down, it's because i have an absolutely abysmal self-esteem & hate myself, so when things don't turn out the way i hope, i need to make others hate me too bc that's what i deserve.after i did what i did, i felt amazing. all throughout the next day, i felt like i was bulletproof, fireproof, like i could walk on water. i felt like god. my friend who is bipolar said that that's not normal & i was probably having a manic episode. now that high has worn off & i feel like an absolute piece of shit. i am a bad person & i deserve to feel bad & i do feel really bad about the way i acted. my friend is insistent that this is all how bipolar disorder works. i don't want to believe him, but that's because i just want to call myself mental & not think about it any deeper. do you think i'm bipolar?
also, if you've been here for a while, you might have noticed that i have barely filmed any new PPVs lately. the reason for that is because i deeply crave human touch & the toys just aren't doing it for me. before you start with the "i volunteer to be your content partner," i've heard it MANY times already. 😅 it's not as easy as just picking one of you guys off the list ok. i am uninterested in hook-ups & only have sex with people i genuinely have feelings for. it's rare for me to emotionally connect with someone like that, so when i do find someone i really like, i value our intimacy & prefer to keep it private rather than turning it into a product for sale. my dry pussy issue is making it hard for me to even keep up with the monthly livestream. so i think i'll have to discontinue that portion of my content for a while. i want to do one last stream for my upcoming onlyversary tho! and i'm fine with still doing sexy content to post on the feed, i just can't bring myself to do the playing with myself stuff. i've got about 50+ PPV's already available tho if you've got a craving for me 😘 just DM me about it & all the previews are also viewable under the "PPV previews tab" on my page.
