rubberemily
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So, as promised, here's a little note about what has been ha..
🕑 Added 2021-07-13 22:16:37 +0000 UTC So, as promised, here's a little note about what has been happening with me in the last few months. Obviously... I'm going to complain about lockdown. I know I'm hardly the only person who has been feeling the effects of that! You've all had it too! I really didn't expect it to affect my fetish as much as it did. Some of you will recall that I was struggling a bit with this before. As time went on, it only got worse. If there's anything I've learned during this, it's that the latex community is an essential part of the fetish (to me!) and I think I need that social and in-person visual stimulus to continue to be creative with latex, and having this facet completely removed from my life made for a serious blow to my mental health. It's got to the point where it's so bad that I have literally forgotten how to have a good orgasm. No, really. I mean, I can't do the multiple orgasm thing anymore. Obviously I am hoping that this comes (!) back at some point! Some of you will know that I leaned quite heavily into modelling before the second... third... whatever! lockdown. It was simultaneously positive and negative - I had some lovely experiences with great photographers, learned a lot and boosted my confidence, but I also had some very weird experiences with 'guys with camera'. For some reason, I generally process negative experiences extremely slowly. It took me months to admit to anyone out loud what happened on one particular photoshoot, and even now I still like the resulting photographs, although I feel slightly bad admitting it. I also still feel slightly awkward describing it as I try to excuse it as a minor incident, but it was still inappropriate. Basically, the photographer touched my boob - very fleetingly, but completely uninvited, and said that he 'couldn't help himself'. I have thought about it a great many times since, and it still disturbs me. To all intents and purposes, the interaction was otherwise fine, but that bit absolutely wasn't fine, so really I shouldn't be saying 'the rest was okay', should I? I worry about what other photographers might do in the future that they feel they 'couldn't help'. I had another photoshoot that definitely had a weird vibe, although I was fine and nothing specific happened to me. I was later contacted by a model who had noticed I had done a shoot with this fellow, and she told me to avoid him in the future, as he had once locked her in his house and tried to get her to act out scenes for him that she was uncomfortable with. By the way, I always check references, and I don't work with anyone who doesn't have at least a handful of positive references from other models. This particular photographer was removed from the photography website shortly after this (he was reported by the model that warned me). I have had many shoots with photographers who are keen to shoot the novelty of latex, but with very little understanding of what this actually entails for the model. I'm not adverse to a bit of discomfort, and I've had some amazing results with photographers with whom I've had a collaborative idea that involves a little stress on my part - for example, shooting with a catsuit and a ball hood in some WW2 bunkers - of course, I couldn't see at all and I relied on the direction of the photographer... or shooting the MSA pics on a beach at 7am... these were great fun, with photographers who knew that putting on latex isn't the same as putting on an ordinary outfit, and we were definitely working towards a mutual artistic goal. A few, however, have been less sensitive, and essentially I've been too nice to say that no, it's been many hours outdoors and I'm freezing my tits off or no, I can't bring multiple heavy outfit changes to the woods, the latex is too expensive to risk damaging this way and I feel uncomfortable asking just anybody to lace me into a corset. It started to feel a lot like I was a convenient local option for a body who happens to own a lot of latex clothing and they were absolutely desperate to glean every last drop of shooting that they could from me on one day. Basically, what I'm saying is that I think I bit off a little more than I could chew! I've resolved to be even more choosy about which photographers I work with (going far beyond just checking references - now I think that photographers need to either be someone I've had a positive experience with in the past, or have a track record of shooting latex). The issues that happened to me above actually instilled a sense of shame in me about what I was doing, and this combined with the complete boredom of lockdown made me feel completely uninspired to do anything with fetish. It's a bit sad really. I still don't think I've got back to the stage where I can imagine myself being the crazy rubber doll I was before, which is a shame because I really like myself that way. I really hope it does come back! Of course, restrictions are meant to be easing up a bit now. Maybe I'll get myself to the upcoming TG (urgh, I had forgotten about OF's word filters, I can't name this event in full)... I'm quite anxious about it, I'm not used to planning anymore! So, that's why I haven't produced any content for ages. I want to thank you for asking after me and thinking of me! I have been producing a bit of content, which I'll upload. I think I also need to make a change to how I do things on here. My workload significantly increased after a dry spell during the first lockdown, and I really do struggle for time at the moment - as much as I absolutely love to chat rubber, I think it's unlikely I will be able to respond to as many private messages as I used to when I first started this, and I need to try to use the time to focus on creating content. I've always tried to keep the content quality as high as I can, I don't want to fob you guys off with 5 second videos shot on shakycam. I hope that continues, and I really do enjoy being totally encased in rubber and taking lots of pictures when I actually DO end up doing it! It's just taking me a little while to learn to be me again. Boy, what a rant. Well, here are some photos, too. I don't think I've shown you this catsuit yet..! And, by the way, this shoot got naughty, so I'll share those pics with you soon too. ;)
