**Laughing at Your Tiny Cock**
Let me tell you a story abou..
🕑 Added 2022-03-15 16:55:04 +0000 UTC
**Laughing at Your Tiny Cock**
Let me tell you a story about the first time I encountered a micro-penis.
***Part I***
Once summer in senior high, I had a crush on this guy named Dustin who I found charming, funny, and interesting. Being in college, he was a few years older than me, my ideal demographic. During the days we'd bomb around town in his brand new Jeep Wrangler (the one with the open roof - very cool car in the eyes of a girl my age) and explore hidden beaches. At night, we'd go to strip clubs and night clubs with our mutual friends - the boys would have to sneak us girls in since we weren't yet of age. Sometimes, the bouncers would find us and kick us out, but we'd always slip back in on the same night. After the clubs we'd hang out at Dustin's place, a whole ass brand new 3-storey house his dad gifted him for being Favourite Son. We'd continue the debauchery there *way* past sunrise, listening to hip hop and playing Curb Your Enthusiasm on repeat in the background.
I liked Dustin not only because he was the cool older guy with a fun car who could get me into clubs and had a nice house that could host our degeneracy every weekend, but also because he treated us girls differently than his friends did. Obviously, he liked our attention and his end goal was to get laid. But unlike his scummy best friends who were always searching for opportunities to get one of us isolated into a bedroom, his primary focus of the night was to be a good host and curate a good time. It seemed as though getting laid was a happy byproduct of being a great host and trustworthy guy, not the singular goal. Because of the respect he paid to us, Dustin was the favourite among us girls (and by extension, the most likely to get laid).
Besides his choice of friends, however, the primary problem with Dustin is that he had a crazy ex-girlfriend. I typically don't like calling other women crazy because the word is often used to invalidate women's emotions and experiences, all while subtly ignoring men's roles in the dynamic. But this girl was batshit crazy. An unattended personality disorder. And she lived next door. Literally. She'd make random appearances at 5am just to come over and sneer at the girls and yell at Dustin for absolutely nothing. It got so bad that we had to park on a distant street and sneak into his place from the back so she couldn't see he was hosting.
Anyways, all to say, the chemistry between Dustin and I was building over the summer, but Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was an inhibiting force in the back of my mind. I didn't want my summer of Jeeps, beaches, boys, friends, boating, strip clubs, Larry David, and sunrises to be punctuated by her energy more than it was during her uninvited late night appearances.
But the pussy wants what the pussy wants. I had been thinking of fucking him for a long time, and without a shadow of the doubt he'd been thinking the same. You can't stop nature from naturing. So, one idle Thursday night after he took me for dinner and drinks we went back to his place (...parked his car far away and snuck into the back of the house lol). Within seconds of entering the privacy of his home we started making out and taking each others' clothes off. An entire summer of sexual energy and build-up was finally coming to fruition.
Everything was playing out perfectly until I unzipped his pants and reached my hand into his underwear.
😶
😶
😶
😯
*Wait, where the fuck is his cock?*
*Am I blind?*
*Did I forget where the cock is?*
*Omg.. it's not there... he doesn't have one?!*
*Wait, I can feel his balls, so if I just move my hand up a little bit...*
🤭🤭🤭🤭
*WTFFFFFFFF*
😂😂😂😂
*NOOOOOOOOoooooooooo*
**IT'S A MICRO-PENIS**
😩😩😩😩😩
I had only heard of micro-penises in rumours and tall tales - I assumed them to be rare. I never thought one would happen to me. But here I am, with a guy I've wanted to fuck for *weeks*, in my hands (literally). God bless my soul for having mastered the art of lying because that was the only reason I was able to maintain a poker face and not bust out laughing. I wish I could explain what it felt like in my hands, but to this day, I have no words.
Where to go from here? I'm in a state of shock and I'm already doing everything in my power to stifle my laughter. How the fuck am I supposed to fuck him if I'm not even sure I know how one of these things work?
But you know when you want something so badly, you start making justifications for it even when there's ample evidence right in front of you that it's a bad idea?
That was my horny self in that moment.
Enter: rationalization.
*Well, is it really that bad?*
*Does a cock need to be big for sex to be good?*
*Surely, sex is also about so many other things like chemistry, foreplay, etc. Maybe he has learned to compensate in other ways?*
*Besides, Maria, how can you judge something you've never tried?*
So, I tried it...
But that's another story for another day (March 22, 2022, to be more precise).
In the meantime, enjoy this clip of me giving my most authentic reaction to the dreaded micropenis.
