Hey y'all
I need to vent a little about how things have bee..
🕑 Added 2021-10-07 06:32:01 +0000 UTC
Hey y'all
I need to vent a little about how things have been. I will put a trigger warning on this because I do talk about my struggles with my eating disorder as well as my overall struggles.
Over the last month, I've been falling into this really bad depression vibe where I feel burnt out. I've been having a hard time getting to sleep and when I wake up it's usually an hour before my shift/class.
I haven't been able to properly eat breakfast which throws off my entire meal plan. Some days I just don't feel attracted to food and other days I feel like my eating disorder voice is making me want to spit up or throw up my food. I don't purge but if I restrict for long enough I have "vomiting spells" which is my body's way of involuntarily purging. It's been a little over a month and a half or so since I've had a vomiting spell but I'm always afraid of having one. It always takes so much out of me and makes my partners stress.
Right now we're trying to find ways to get help with getting food and trying to get on a budget and save money but we're struggling extra hard since we live paycheck to paycheck. I don't want pity I just need space to vent. I feel like I need to be on a charger until I feel recharged. Do you ever feel like that? I feel like over the next week or two I'll start living off of coffee and energy drinks just so I can function.
I really don't know what else to say.
Much love,
Ary
