thegwensinger
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Wow wow wow guys! So much to say about my current chapter an..
🕑 Added 2023-04-26 21:22:33 +0000 UTC Wow wow wow guys! So much to say about my current chapter and mindset and what it’s taken to get here. I’ve been trying to decide where to say it — and for now I’ve decided to share some of my thoughts right here on my free page. I'm excited to use this space as a place to get more intimate in every way. For those who are interested, I hope you'll enjoy weekly updates!Here's the first: I'm emerging from what I didn't fully acknowledge / realize was a dark night of the soul (aka a depressive episode that results in growth, spiritual development and higher consciousness). Last June I had my first experience with Ayahuasca and while it was beautiful, I learned that the integration and healing process that follows can be long and painful; And for 10 months it really was.
In my experience depression has always served a purpose, but the lessons are only clear in hindsight. While in the midst of it, it can be almost agonizing (mostly for the inexplicable nature of the pain, in my case, and the frustration in not being able to snap out of it) but on the other side of that suffering there can be so much clarity. Hindsight is 20/20 and I realize now all the ways I was delaying the process by avoiding discomfort and resisting change. Eventually I finally listened to my intuition and acknowledged the pattern I had to break in order to free myself. It's been a gorgeous process. Too much to say right here and now, but I'm only starting the journey of sharing :)
Through this last dark chapter I had faith, though -- Experience had taught me that something was indeed happening— that the period must be necessary for my evolution and growth. It WAS. I was pushed to take action and make changes purely out of discomfort since all of the good intentions I was sitting on were never enough to get me moving, writing, making changes. To get me to break the same damn toxic patterns.
It can be tough to talk about depression, for fear of judgment because "how dare I feel anything but grateful, blessed as I am?". But that's all the more reason to explore it's cause --- often nothing to do with external circumstances. All within. So I've made some changes, I'm breaking several patterns, and I'm finding overwhelming joy in the process. The journey is so rewarding. There are no highs without the lows, and the growth is worth the pain. For those of you stuck in that tunnel, have faith. The sun will emerge brighter than ever, the moment you find the strength to be honest with yourself about making necessary changes in your life. Sometimes they're big, sometimes they're small. Either way, they're big 🤣
There's no way to measure growth, but these days I feel it happening at a rate like never before. I am inspired.
Oozing with love and the desire to share more with you,
G
