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I wrote this blog for Fanhouse however I feel like y’all mig..
🕑 Added 2021-11-16 10:38:26 +0000 UTC I wrote this blog for Fanhouse however I feel like y’all might be okay with reading it here too: TW: Chronic pain, drug use / / / / / I wanna talk about weed It wasn’t until the last two weeks that I realized how much marijuana was a vital, not simply additional, part of my pain management and quality of life care. Despite the fact that it’s positive effects are very evident, it sometimes becomes easy to diminish my normal levels of pain … which also made me fail to appreciate how much it was helping me. I have fibromyalgia among numerous other medical disorders and illnesses, and several of them cause severe chronic pain. My pain is primarily managed by anti-depressants that are shown to reduce Fibro pain and nerve blocking meds, physical therapy, as well as Tylenol and ibuprofen daily. When I first started using edibles for my severe pain I used them intermittently and only when I was laid out on the floor unable to move. It helped considerably but I struggled to find an amount that didn’t make me so incredibly stoned I couldn’t function. Over time I tried it in multiple forms and experimented with where my pain levels were at vs how much I should eat/vape/smoke. It took some initial experimentation to figure out what would actually work and allow me to function, which was largely the reason I have yet to be put on opioids. Over the progression of 2021 my levels of pain have continued to worsen, especially since being made to medically withdrawal from physical therapy due to the state of my health. But one comfort was that I felt I had some control of my quality of life because marijuana not only brought my pain down from 8s and 9s down to 3s and 4s but it has this great effect on my depression and anxiety too. Don’t get me wrong, this year has been HORRENDOUS for mental health, but without those extra resources to cope I don’t think I would even be talking about my struggles or pain. Recently my intake has increased due to me attempting to be more active and it just being a nasty time of year for how my bones and muscles hurt during season changes. I ran out. I ran out of everything. It’s been about a week and a half since my resources were largely tapped out and to say I’ve been hurting doesn’t begin to cover it. If I’ve fallen out of communication very recently in particular, it was because I’ve been trapped in it. My nausea, insomnia, pain, and mental health all slowly reverted to how things had been before I had these options. I declined rapidly. I lost 6 pounds without trying. I have an excoriation OCD that causes me to obsess over skin defects and I tore up my face. I took a picture yesterday and it made me cry when I realized my face hasn’t been this destroyed in nearly a year. I wanted to show this because it’s a very accurate representation of what it looks for me when my chronic issues aren’t managed. Cost and access for what I need are extremely prohibitive but I hadn’t appreciated what a massive ripple effect it would have on me to be in that level of unmanaged pain, and how much each day it seemed to get harder to accept being in such severe pain. I’m not espousing some miracle or giving any of you medical advice, nor am I looking to get in to legal and ethical debates on the matter. What I want to share is that I am now fully, aggressively aware of what I lose to pain. I’m going to keep working my booty like mad so I can support myself and prevent this in the future. If this is a topic yall find interesting, please let me know. I realize it’s heavily personal and a long read, but y’all already knew what you’d signed up for I think when you came here :) Right now I’m okay. I’m safe. And starting to find my version of normalcy. Thank you for being here.
