**So I'm at a loss.**
Lately, I've been overthinking and it..
🕑 Added 2021-12-07 22:22:14 +0000 UTC
**So I'm at a loss.**
Lately, I've been overthinking and it's starting to affect my sleep again. Idk if it's stress or anxiety or something else. Maybe I just feel like I'm not doing enough or as much as I can. Idk.
But I do know that I've been getting less and less sleep, and it's starting to affect my sleep and in turn my mood. I'm quick to get agitated, I'm taking things the wrong way, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and only want to focus on things that don't require too much energy.
I also don't think it's burnout because I have my ideas for the month that I very much would like to create and am doing my best to. I just know that writing things out helps me think and eliminate some potential reasons.
Maybe it's because I'm juggling multiple things at once? Maybe I'm trying to split my focus on a bunch of different things that my mind races to try to complete at least one but then that one gets replaced by another? Maybe it's the mental workload that never seems to end? Yeah, I guess it's a combination of those on top of what I'm already having to do.
Honestly, this past year has been experiment after experiment in terms of my OF to see if I can just focus on that and maximize it somehow. The somehow hasn't been working out, which is part of the reason I'm trying to expand. But to do that, I need time, and because I don't have enough waking hours, I guess that's why my brain has been waking me up to continue building. A survival instinct for fear of the future. Ugh, why does fear work?
I really don't want to post less here. I'm very much enjoying the creative process of shooting and filming and editing and doing all the things, but it's a lot of things and I'm only one person. No wonder most people post less than me lolz. I guess it just took a lot of trial and error for me to get that.
I feel like I have a bunch of great content and the feedback from you guys sort of helps me confirm that, but it's not enough to only focus on creating; I need to do other things like advertising; I hate advertising.
Maybe I just need to find a sweet spot or rhyme to juggle all the things better so that I don't have to drop anything or lose my balance.
If I post less here, I hope you understand and I hope you don't feel like I'm cheating you out of a sub. Just know that I'm doing my best for me and for you, and I'm just in a rough place of having to explore better options and methods to keep doing this thing that I do enjoy doing.
Thanks for listening~
*P.S. Even the Bedtime Mode on my phone that I've been using for months has been telling me to go to sleep during my sleep schedule lolz. I'm done xD*
