Why I do rope, community resources, and Q&A
SO this is a su..
🕑 Added 2021-10-26 17:11:31 +0000 UTC
Why I do rope, community resources, and Q&A
SO this is a super long post, like a while ass novel, and I know this isnt going to interest everyone but I think it’s worth posting because I care a LOT about the kink community. I know that a lot of you are kinky but not in the formal “kink community” and don’t have access to resources. This post is going to try to give y'all a VERY INCOMPLETE account of whats going on and why I do it and where you should start looking and reading if this kind of stuff interests you.
First things first, a disclaimer. I am not a doctor. I do not have any formal education in anatomy or injuries or anything like that. I am not even a rope top. The information I have about rope is mostly first hand bottoming experience and resources given to me by tops I’ve tied with and the community at large. As with any dangerous or serious topic, do your own research and don’t rely solely on other peoples experiences but I’mma get into it now. Feel free to ask questions in the comments if you have any, there are no dumb questions. I had SO many when I started.
Okay, lets get into it-
As I’ve started posting more rope photos I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why I do shibari. A lot of peoples mental image of “shibari” is a girl tied in a compromising position so you can have sex with them (and thats totally a thing, and its wonderful) but thats not what I’ve been posting and some people don’t understand what its for if its not for sex. I honestly think this is a great question because the premise of letting someone do that shit to you and not being inherently sexual is actually really odd. Especially once you find out how dangerous it is. So I want to make this to walk you though what's going on, because unless you're in the formal kink community there's probably a ton you don't know about rope suspension.
Stuff to know upfront: Rope is dangerous. Rope is dangerous. Rope is…….and I cannot express this enough…..extremely dangerous.
It is probably the most dangerous thing you can do in kink. The most common injuries are nerve damage. Some ranging from temporary loss of use of your hands all the way to permanent loss of feeling and movement. I personally know many bottoms that have experienced varying levels of damage. Theres a girl in my local community that had to cut her hair short because she doesnt have the ability to pull it up by herself. She got wrist drop last month from nerve injury she got from a tie. She will likely get better over time but that really sucks for her, this stuff happens.
I do not say this to scare you. I do not say this to dissuade you from trying it. I say this because it is true. Because it happens. And because downplaying how serious it is helps literally no one. Injuries are not inevitable, there's lots both the top and bottom can do to avoid them, but you need to be aware of the risk. Thats a HUGE thing in kink. Theres an acronym called RACK that we use for it. It means “Risk Aware Consensual Kink”, and it seeks to remind people that part of consent is being aware of the risks of what you are doing. If you aren’t aware of certain risks associated with a scene, your consent just isnt the same, its incomplete.
So now that I’ve properly scared the shit out of anyone even considering doing this stuff, lets answer the main question I know that a lot of you have. Why do I do this shit?
Uhhhhh…..rope make head feel funny. Rope make brain go BRRRRRR 😎✌🏻 thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Jk, I’ll go into it more. So pretty much, rope is painful as hell. Shibari was initially used on war prisoners. It hurts like fuck. Photos don’t do it justice, that shit is nuts. So when you combine the amount of pain that your brain is trying to process with the fact that you literally cannot move at all and youre floating in the air….it essentially shuts my brain off. It has a systems overload and gives up. It is an indescribable feeling. The word that the community uses is “rope space” which is a type of “sub space” where the bottom gets yeeted into la la land from the scene.
Its different for everyone but I go into space as soon as my hands are captured and I don’t fully leave space for a while after the tie. Some people dont go into space until theyre up in the air and some people don’t go into space at all.
Let me tell ya man, that shit hits DIFFERENT. Do you know how good a feeling has to be to risk permanent nerve damage??? Very good is the answer.
So a little bit about me, I have ADHD, dyslexia, a formally diagnosed SEVERE anxiety disorder, manic depression, and all sorts of other fun stuff that makes my brain sad. I am very high functioning and I have it all under control (as under control as it can be) but that shit takes it’s toll. That particular concoction of BS means that I am in my head 100% of the time. I worry like it's a full time job. I am always thinking 100 miles a minute and most of it is not positive. Its a blessing and a curse. My anxiety and neuroticism is why I’ve made it this far in my various careers and education. I have achieved more than a lot of people my age because my brain tells me I need to do that to justify taking up space. I work on it every day and I’ve gotten better at being nice to myself but it’s hard. I’m sure lots of you relate to the constant battle that is staying alive.
When I’m in rope, my brain shuts off. Not a lot of things can make my brain do that. And let me fucking tell you, I need a break from my very rude thoughts from time to time. The first few times I did rope, I didn’t space at all. I enjoyed it a ton, but I was doing it for photoshoots and I needed to focus on looking good and being able to get the content I needed. The best thing to come out of those shoots for me was the rigger letting me know that there is a whole community of people that do this stuff IRL and not just for content stuff. I’ve ALWAYS known I was kinky. Like literally always. I just didn't know that there was a whole underground world of people that get together to do it. After those shoots, I started looking into community events I could go spend time with other kinky people. The website everyone uses for that is called fetlife. Its pretty much kinky facebook. It has its problems and cliques and pettiness, but overall its a really awesome site and a much needed refuge for the kink community. And its for all kink, not just rope. You should check it out if youre kinky.
Through Fet I was able to start going to local events where I eventually met the guy that is now my full time rigger. One of the things that I do to reduce my risk of injury is I pretty much only tie with one person who I have rigorously vetted. He is an EXCELLENT rope top. Like really really good. And the things that make him so good aren't just his knowledge of the rope, he has one of the most comprehensive understanding of the human body of anyone I’ve met in my life. He is pretty much an encyclopedia of the human body. The combination of the years he’s been doing rope, the volume of practice he’s had, and the comprehensive knowledge of the human body that he has, means that I am much less likely to be injured when I tie with him. We tie a few times a week and most of it never sees the light of day because I do this for me. Like I’m so happy that you guys have taken an interest in it but if it isnt obvious, this is something I’m super passionate about and its 100% for me.
So if you’ve made it this far and it resonated with you and you’re curious about dipping your toes into the rope/kink community, I’d recommend starting by joining Fetlife. Ultimately, I cannot be a good vetter of rope information. I don’t know enough about rope topping to sign off on what other people say. Fet will give you access to experienced rope tops that are better acquitted to do that. And keep in mind that theres no “one true way” do do literally anything in rope or kink so be skeptical of anyone pretending there is.
But yeah, thank you for making it this far, I appreciate you taking the time to get to know me. This is a much bigger part of my life than I even let on to you guys. Kink is really important to me and I’m so much happier having found my people. My fellow weirdos
So this is part where I open the floor to comments and questions, if you have anything youd like to ask I will do my best to answer it! Drop a like if you actually made it this far and read it, I always wonder how many people read my novels lol, anyways, have a great day!
