lenasnowflake
onlyfans
Uh, it's been a while since I've written down my thoughts. ..
🕑 Added 2024-07-30 05:58:55 +0000 UTC Uh, it's been a while since I've written down my thoughts.I wanted to share how I've been struggling with anxiety inside for years now. I've had these attacks since high school. Had panic attacks (before everyone in the world started talking about it), back then I couldn't realize what it was or why. A little older I discovered marijuana, and for about 5 years I smoked, and so often, maybe 6 times a week before bed, and sometimes even at lunch. And that was the only way I could keep my condition normal. But I started to notice that I had changed a lot in my life.
People around me began to associate me with smoking a lot. And I didn't like that. I quit for two or three months, and it was a period of darkness. And there's no question that it was abrupt, or that it was an addiction, because I quit with no problem. But I was sucked back into a darkness and depression that I didn't even want to get out of. Just being there alone, and to everyone who saw me, just pretending everything was okay, but not letting them get close. I hadn't had sex in almost a year at that point. And the one time I did, I didn't need it.
Just work and loneliness.
My friends, no matter how hard I tried to distance myself, helped me and took me to therapy, to a new specialist, and we started working on me a lot. And some medication. And I also worked with a sex therapist, which really opened me up, freed me up and unleashed me. I finally realized and felt like a girl. I felt like a sexy woman. I finally learned what sex and orgasm were, and that I could be respected even if I obeyd my partner's wishes. I began to understand why people fantasize and why they can have such extraordinary fantasies.
I learned to explore myself and to love myself. But I'm not going to lie - sometimes I don't love myself, I even hate myself and there is no harmony in meπππππ I'm a girl π
