BarCalak posts
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Chapter 48: Conan Canon
Chapter 48: Conan CanonLeavesden Studios, UK. August 2009.“Hi, Conan O’Brien, here. It’s thirty-five years late, but finally at the age of forty-six, I have received my Hogwarts letter. This is not a joke, this is real. An owl came to the Conaco offices, dropped off my acceptance, pooped on on...
Chapter 47.5: Hell in a [C]Ellen
Chapter 47.5: Hell in a [C]EllenWB Lot Studio 1, Burbank California. July 2009.“Where were you, Bas? How could you be so late?” Emma scolded me the moment I stepped in through the door. I halted my stride, leaned back, and reread the placard stuck on the adjoining wall just to make sure I was en...
Chapter 47: Gutter Toast
Chapter 47: Gutter ToastEmpire Leicester Square, London. July 2009.Nowhere in the world did I feel more unsafe than in a public restroom. Despite my aversion, however, I couldn’t always avoid them. They existed to fulfil a need. It wasn’t always my decision when I had to visit them; they were ju...
11th Move: Funky Spelunky
11th Move: Funky SpelunkyGoldenrod CityMy spontaneous decision to capture Yecu as part of my team had been paying dividends.Even beyond his role as my emergency food supply, my Krabby had plenty of uses. Not the least of which was portable plumbing. Because of him I could have clean drinking water w...
Bas Rhys IMDB Page
Bas' up to date filmography displayed in-universe - with some fun character tidbits!
Chapter 46.5: Original Spin
Chapter 46.5: Original SpinPiccadilly Circus, London. June 2009.[A man crashed across a delicatessen counter, tossing a fountain of baked goods everywhere. It should’ve been me.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not me. Not me who? Not me who’s getting hit with a - “Petrificus Totalus!” Hermione s...
Chapter 46: Dunkin’ Donut
Chapter 46: Dunkin’ DonutFreshwater West, Pembrokeshire Coast. May 2009.Who doesn’t love a good day at the beach?Rare though it was for the Harry Potter franchise, the core team - including Rupert Emma and I alongside the relevant production crew - had deserted Leavesden for the time being, in f...
10th Move: GTS BTS
10th Move: GTS BTSGoldenrod City.“Name and badge?”“Uki’uki. Zephyr.” Excusing the fact that the Pokédex I’d handed my interrogator held the information he requested front and centre in big, bright font - I struggled to reconcile why he insisted on using a torch to read it. Not only was ...
Release Update August (1)
Hope everyone old and new is enjoying the recent update!THE NEXT BATCH WILL BE RELEASED BY AROUND THE 17TH OF AUGUSTIoTV! 45 (double feature), and 45X are both available to read at your leisure. Bas is back in the saddle in more ways than one, and Fedex is the one keeping him up there. But will prod...
Chapter 45X: Master of Cere(moan)ies
DISCLAIMER:This chapter officially ends Bas’ celibacy and finally pays off all the flirting he has been subjected to. Enjoy the latter half of the chap!–Chapter 45X: Master of Cere(moan)iesOutside Bas’ Caravan, Leavesden. April 2009.“Dearly beloved, we gather today not to mourn a loss, but t...
Chapter 45: Copy Cat Burglar
–SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: I never do these and likely won’t going forward very often. As an expression of my deep gratitude for the stellar support you’ve all graced me with - as well as a celebration of crossing 200K in word count several chapters back - I’ve decided to release a double featur...
July Release Update 3
Whew! July was a tough month but I'm glad we saw it through!Next batch of chapters will be out 8-9th August.As for this past week IoTV! Chapters 43.5, 44, and 44.5 are ready to read for your pleasure. Bas is back on set and the grueling 1 and a half year filming process for the entirety of Death...
Chapter 44.5: Leave it, to the Dursleys
Chapter 44.5: Leave it, to the DursleysLeavesden Studio, UK. February 2009.Dudley was fat. Harry was not. Far from a revelation, but made far less sense when you considered I was talking about one single person.“Melling! How’s the first day back on set treating you?” This was the aforementione...
Chapter 44: Bed-Headed Step Child
Chapter 44: Bed-Headed Step ChildBas’ Caravan, Leavesden. February 2009.“Mmgh. Lumpy…” It hadn’t been long, just over a single year, since Ellie had received her own bed. Waking up from between the overstuffed cushions of Bas’ sofa, she missed it already.But, Ellie thought to herself, sh...
Chapter 43.5: The Eyes Have It
Chapter 43.5: The Eyes Have ItWB Offices London, UK. January 2009.Goosebumps cascaded across the skin of my arm. Hair-raising fear - or perhaps disgust - burrowed and breached throughout my tense follicles. Was it just my imagination, or were botfly larvae actually bursting out of my pores in writhi...
July Release Update 2
Hi all!Hope everyone is enjoying the recent batch of chapters this month. I hope that my recent writing is addressing feedback. I'm quite proud of the recent few and hope everyone feels similarly.IoTV! chapters 42,42.5, and 43 are out and ready to read. Bas is entering a new phase of life and ha...
Chapter 43: Industrial Devolution
Chapter 43: Industrial DevolutionFour Seasons Hotel Royal Suite, LA. January 2009.“You’re leaving?” Dong Lover made his dissatisfaction clear via his tone on the other end of the line.“Yeah. On a midnight plane to Heathrow.” Chartered, not scheduled. Just because I hadn’t bothered to buy...
Chapter 42.5: New Testament
Chapter 42.5: New TestamentBas’ Koreatown Apartment, LA. December 2008.“I’m so lonely~” The flush sloshed as I got off my knees.“I’m mister lonely~” Flicking on the faucet I cupped my hands, took a big sip, and swirled the water inside my mouth to get rid of the taste of bile.“I have...
Chapter 42: Un-PHO-gettable
Chapter 42: Un-PHO-gettableThree bricks up and two across. November 2008.Welcome to the Potter Heads Online message boards.You are currently logged in: Harmony-ArmoryYou are viewing: Bas Between Potters~ Topic: Bas Rhys GossipIn: Boards > Misc > Creevey’s Catalog > BasCrackAdmin: Blog_BeetlePosted...
July Release Update 1
Feels like an age since I've done one of these haha!My sincerest apologies for being so radio silent these last couple of weeks as well as being unable to publish the first week of July. There was a family emergency that necessitated a "drop everything and catch the next flight" attitud...
Chapter 41.5: Tickets & Pickets
Chapter 41.5: Tickets & PicketsMann Village Theater, Hollywood. October 2008.Do you know what the best part of a sandwich is? If you grew up anywhere around Europe, there’s more than a decent chance you consider bread the tastiest bit. However, for the majority of the world beyond those borders, i...
Chapter 41: Bas’ Bottom Bitch
Chapter 41: Bas’ Bottom BitchKorea Town, LA. September 2008.[“Bitch, do you see us?”]“Ya! You bundeggi bastard, no cussing in my dojang!” Oh Dae Su, my tetchy taekwondo teacher, had been fed far too much gochujang with the spicy tongue lashing he was raring to give me.Not the best first im...
Chapter 40.5: Add Campaign
Chapter 40.5: Add CampaignKadokawa Daiei Studios, Tokyo. August 2008.Look at your ads now back to mine. Look at your ads now back to mine.Sadly, neither is Old Spice. But with a little creative application, even Uniqlo can smell like Old spice.I’m in Japan.No catchy whistled jingle for me, though....
Chapter 40: Dude, Where’s My Cadbury?
Chapter 40: Dude, Where’s My Cadbury?King’s Cross Station, London. July 2008.Whenever I used to travel with Cadbury and Anita in the past, it was always the more image conscious Anita’s luggage that bent the frame of the trolleys - and also my poor aching back.But as I strained to handle Cadbu...
Chapter 39.5: Top Gear Special (Part 2)
Chapter 39.5: Top Gear Special (Part 2)Dunsfold Aerodrome Surrey, UK. July 2008.[Under normal circumstances, I’m usually quite good at keeping my intrinsic carnal cravings caged.Yet, sat behind the wheel of the Aston Martin DB9, I felt less like the 007 that shoots bad guys, and more like the 007 ...
Chapter 39: Top Gear Special (Part 1)
Chapter 39: Top Gear Special (Part 1)Dunsfold Aerodrome Surrey, UK. July 2008.[Tonight!James May hits the breaks. Skree! The squealing of tyres as we suddenly came to a halt complimented our various oomphs and groans when we slammed back into our seats. “Oh, cock!” May turned back in the driver...
June Release Update (3)
I hope everyone's had their fill of filler!IoTV! 38, 38.5, and our first look into the incomparable ANITA SPECTER is out for your enjoyment.We have a good understanding of Bas' worth now between his personal finances, the first steps in the direction of his future prospects, and even how he ...
Anita Specter circa 2008
Forbes profile for everyone's favourite agent.
Chapter 38.5: Trailer Mix
Chapter 38.5: Trailer MixWin-Nguyen Situation Nail Spa, LA. June 2008.Buff was the word of the day, and not because of how my muscles rippled beneath my needlessly tight shirt.And for once, I wasn’t admiring myself in front of a mirror either.Scratch, scrtch, scrtch. The young woman filing away at...
Chapter 38: (Gross)eries
Chapter 38: (Gross)eriesWB Headquarters, Hollywood. June 2008.“Don’t do this to me, Bas!” Ben Wyatt, my financial manager from Duneshire Equities, sounded about done with me.“Do you have the prospectus ready?” Forever the worrywart. Still so nervous despite all the Hogwarts money I’d bro...
