[Esc] reality

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[Esc] reality posts

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on life and photography

"Now this is a story all about how..." it's been 35 hours and the long anticipated Cyberpunk video is exactly 57% rendered. Woe is me! In another day and a half, I may be able to publish the first version... but the one without music will take an additional 3 days. And that's if I ma...

⛥September Download⛥

I'm happy to see you liked my stone massage video so much! It makes me want to make more spa videos. I don't think I'll ever stop making spa videos. Spa ASMR is always a winner. If you have ideas for what kind of treatments you would like that I haven't done before or that you would ...

Outtakes - You And Me Forever

Now that the new camera is "broken in", I'm excited to see how it performs in the notorious blue lighting of the Cyberpunk bar. I want to reshoot the first part tonight (I just consider the accidentally deleted footage as "rehearsal") and I've been thinking about what I could...

You And Me Forever.

"Share what's new in your world." ... uhhhh, this?I finally finished the first video ever filmed (and published) with my new Sony α7s - It took me a while to film and edit all the parts and as you are probably very clearly able to tell, the video is a romantic experience dedicated to Ja...

teaser

May I introduce the new and improved video quality... Well, almost. I'm still working on the configuration. But here's some of what you can expect for the future of [Esc] reality.This video is just an example (as in I won't edit and publish it b/c not good enough). I wanted my first vide...

Outtakes - August

Thanks for making me smile ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) inappropriate emoji to hide embarrassment

trying and failing and trying some more

Look, I still exist!I'm sorry, I feel like such a failure. There's no conceivable way I can finish the cyberpunk video this month. It'll likely come out within like a week, though. I'm trying and trying but progress is so slow. I made it to the copy shop to print the last of the pict...

⛥August Live Chat⛥

Thank you guys for tuning in! Dirty Flirty Fran is gonna crawl back in bed to give her dying uterus a comfortable journey to the otherworld.

Taking [Esc] reality to the next level

Sepember is coming on so let's talk about what's coming this fall. This is what's coming this fall.My dream of creating top notch ASMR videos is starting to take on shape thanks to this unexpected (as in the offer caught me off guard) donation from no other than one of you guys. Thank yo...

⛥August Q&A⛥

I've been taking valerian root and I feel nothing. Nothing but restlessness. So since Jack is getting up in about an hour anyway, I decided to use that time to answer some of your lovely questions this month! By some I mean all of them. I'm gonna answer all your questions. Let's roll the...

Soft Singing and Close Up Whispering // Alternative Music

This, uhh... Is not your typical lullaby? But for those who missed my singing, I am performing - ever so softly and breathy - in order: Anesthesia (Type O Negative), Green Man (Type O Negative), Burn (The Cure), Tattooed In Reverse (Marilyn Manson), Deep Six (Marilyn Manson), Black no.1 (Type O Nega...

complex ptsd blog

Dying in a hole.This is a glimpse into an aspect of my life that no one sees. The thing I could never get through to anyone.The room is dim. I've spent the past 17 hours in darkness, sleeping on and off. I woke up once at 2PM, then again at 4. But I didn't feel ready to get out of bed. For t...

⛥August Extras⛥

This month, you wanted to hear what I think about all your signs. Please don't hold it against me if I don't have a lot of nice things to say about your sign (Virgo). I don't discriminate against anyone based on their sign and I'm always open to letting a second impression make a den...

⛥August Download⛥

Just your friendly bonus content spam for my lovely patrons =D Here's your highest voted video from July as a HQ mp3 download! It only took me searching through 10 different converters to find one that doesn't bitch about ad block lol. Have fun with this!

☯️ Hot Stone Massage Experience ☯️

It is my pleasure to give you this soothing, balancing, tingly treatment of unparalleled relaxation. If I sound confident that you will enjoy this one, it's because I am. I'm quality checking it right now and finding it very calming. The slow, soft music goes great with the tempo of my speak...

Skirts and Baileys

So I ordered a bunch of skirts to try on. Spoiler alert, none of them fit. But I got some amazing fabric sounds, crinkling and more out of it. It honestly took more time to clear the floor space to be able to record in my livingroom than to make the video.So I haven't been entirely myself lately...

Casual Mixology

Before there was a livestream, there was a prototype of a mixology video. I ended up hating the fuck out of it because of the setting, lacking ingredients and noise. This one is still noisy, of course I edited to make it not overwhelming - and hated every second of it lol. But I found it pretty rela...

⛥July Q&A⛥

I should have specified that "life's great questions" was a joke lol. Regardless, let's roll out your deep and meaningful questions this beautifully muted Sunday afternoon with my fresh iced coffee while I'm also bleeding dry from my uterus. Fun!Do you have any siblings? No. They...

starting again

As I've hinted on a little bit, I've spent the past week in recovery from a mental breakdown. Nothing acutely outwardly awful happened, I'm just weak and can't handle stress - at all. Not doing much of anything ended up being surprisingly good for me, though I've done some off ca...

⛥July Live Chat⛥

The drinks we made:Cookie Cloud1/4 cup Baileys1 tsp chocolate chip cookie syrup1 tbsp brown rum1/2 tbsp cacao&hazelnut liqueur1/4 cup milkShake with ice & serveVirgin Blood1/2 cup fresh raspberries1 lime6 heaped tsp cane sugar1/4 cup gin1/2 tsp peppermint schnapps1/4 cup pomogranate&cranberry juices...

⛥July Extras⛥

You wanted to see me going about my day being a real person and I tried my best to capture a more or less average day. That being said, I feel fucking raw opening up like that. Haven't made the best experiences with that so please be nice.There is a question that has been haunting me for most of...

⛥July Download⛥

You've got me figured out, haven't you? You know that if you can get multiple videos in a tie, you get multiple downloads. I have underestimated how fast you sneaky kitties learn! There you go, your highest voted videos as an mp3 download:

Patching You Up ❤️

For anyone who has ever taken a blade to their own body.I've been clean for at least 7 months. I've fought the urge to self-harm countless times since the last time, which I don't remember exactly when it was - but Jack says it was last year. Some may say that's a big deal and I shou...

tender moments

"How's your next thing coming?" - Always such appropriate suggestions, Patreon. This photo is from an attempted outdoor shoot that I had to toss cause people. I was smart enough to shoot the thumbnails first this time so at least I have a pretty picture to share with you, albeit grainy c...

Caring Friend Explains [ASMR]

I have a dream... No, that's literally how this beast of a video came about, guys, I dreamt about doing this and thought it was so funny and original, couldn't contain my amusement, that I just had to do it. Hang out with me for what 98 minutes while I tell you about what I do, how I got int...

cat food 2018

Today I made some progress with the rewards. I had errands in the morning and afterwards had my carer take me to a pet supply store to keep my end of the deal. Thanks to your awesomeness and generosity, I was able to donate 12kg adult cat kibble, 8kg kitten kibble, 9.6kg kitten wet food, 12kg adult ...

⛧EMP⛧ Try-On Haul

Edit: I made some little changes to the video. I tried to up the brightness just during some parts where I'm showing off the clothing in [this version]. Let me know if this is better. The quality is still shit and I think it's ugly but I wonder if seeing a little is better than seeing nothin...

life and medical appointments

"Tell your patrons what you're working on." - How did you know that's what I was going to start with?!June, the month of painful medical procedures, I'm so glad you are gone. I'm more than ready to just not be in pain anymore. That being said, I'm feeling much, much bette...

Formal Thank You Post

It's been a long month and even though for someone slow like me, a month can never be long enough... I am not unhappy with how things have turned out. I managed to meet my minimum quota while still getting very unpleasant real life things over with and I made some videos that you said really hel...

on self-love and recovery

Green theme.Lately I'm just really feeling the color. It's in the background of the new video I have rendering for you right now. It's on my face in the stalled Libra sex signs reading that I'm still thinking about. It's the color of the syringe they gave me to rinse the holes in...